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During this season, it’s easy for us to dwell on the things that are easy to be thankful for—our family, friends, faith, and jobs. But what about the specific moments in our lives that have helped us become who we are—the moments that weren’t enjoyable, made us uncomfortable, and maybe even hurt us? This week, I am thankful for one of these milestone moments in my life and want to share it with you.
I am thankful for a time when I was publicly humiliated. Admittedly, it’s a strange thing to be thankful for, but stay with me here. Over seven years ago, I helped lead a group of 50 college students on a Global LEAD trip to Cape Town, South Africa. We invited former University of Georgia football coach, Vince Dooley, and his wife Barbara to join us and our students and speak to them about life and leadership. One day, Barbara talked to us about the life-altering lessons she learned from fighting and surviving cancer. The speech was compelling.
However, I sat in the back of the room, checking sports scores on my phone and updating friends about the trip. Barbara stopped talking in the middle of her presentation and asked, “Kevin, what are you doing?” I looked up, and I saw every face turned toward me. I realized she was calling me out because I was the only person in the room who wasn’t fully involved.
I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide, but that wasn’t an option. She looked at me with a loving but corrective expression. The room was dead silent for a few seconds, which to me seemed like hours. Then she said, “Kevin, wherever you are, be there. Whatever’s going on out there can wait. You need to be present with us right now. You’re in this place with these people and me. Be here.”
Wherever you are, be there.
I nodded, put my phone down, and paid attention. As a people pleaser, I felt more humiliated than humbled. After thinking about it for a while, however, I realized her words to me meant far more than, “Pay attention.” I realized, not only was I disengaged, but often times, I used disengagement as a defense mechanism to stay aloof from people and to appear to have more important things to do.
In the moment she called me out, it was uncomfortable and awkward, but this instance completely changed the way I interact with the people around me.
Even though I was humiliated, it was a positive thing. It forced me to consider the way I think about things, conversations, and people, and seven years later, this moment still influences how I choose to be present wherever I am. I’m not saying I’m always good at putting this into practice, but that moment seared into my memory reminds me to at least try.
Have you ever been “called out” before? Do you still remember it? How did it affect you?
This week, think about the moments of your life that were uncomfortable at the time, but have helped you grow and become the person you are today. Think about the lessons you’ve learned, and when you’re listing the things you’re thankful for, don’t forget about those.
