The assertion is that we don’t need much time, as long as we provide a limited amount of focused attention.

I think this is a false dichotomy.

A few weeks ago, I introduced my new book: Inspired Every Day: Three Indispensable Ingredients to Connect With Your Passion, and the three crucial elements necessary to genuine inspiration:

A purpose to live for,

A problem to tackle, and

A partnership with like-minded people.

Over the past couple of weeks, I explained why purpose is paramount to inspiration and how problems produce tenacity. Today, we’re discussing why maintaining solid partnerships requires our time.

In my most important relationships—with my wife, my kids, our team, and my best friends—it doesn’t work for me to limit our time together and to suggest that it’s fine because it’s “quality” time. It doesn’t work for me to say, “I know I’ve been really busy and preoccupied, so let’s plan on having an intense, meaningful conversation between 7:30 and 8:00 tonight. Are we on for that? I’ll pencil you in.”

We need at least enough time to get comfortable with each other, to see each other in a variety of situations, to feel unhurried as we talk about things that are important to us, and to feel safe enough to take off our masks and be more real. Quantity time is essential for us to have quality connections.

Quantity time is essential for us to have quality connections.

When we invest our time and our hearts with people, a bond may be established. Most of us have experienced being separated from close friends for long stretches of time, but when we reconnect, we pick up right where we left off. We feel comfortable, at home, safe, and thrilled to see each other again.

However, that doesn’t always happen—we may have great friends at one point in our lives, but distance and responsibilities can cause those connections to atrophy. The reality is that there are friends for particular seasons of life, and this is OK.

But if you’re feeling distant in one of your most important relationships, it might be worth looking in the mirror and asking yourself how much time you’ve invested into this person recently. If the answer is “not much” or “not enough,” it’s time to pick up the phone, plan the date, initiate the conversation, and show this individual that you care for them by giving them not just “quality” time but a decent “quantity” of time—the time needed to connect, to encourage one another, and to be inspired!

If you’re interested in learning more about how to stay inspired and how to inspire others, click the link below and purchase a copy of my new book!

PURCHASE INSPIRED EVERY DAY

We wouldn’t admire Churchill if Hitler’s air force had defeated the outgunned RAF in The Battle of Britain. We wouldn’t have heard of Harriet Tubman if she hadn’t had the courage and skill to help slaves escape through the Underground Railroad. We wouldn’t know much about George Washington if he hadn’t orchestrated an amazing retreat from Long Island after the first humiliating defeat in the Revolution, saving his army to remain in the field to fight again instead of surrendering and almost certainly ending the cause. We remember these people because they overcame colossal problems.

A couple of weeks ago, I introduced my new book: Inspired Every Day: Three Indispensable Ingredients to Connect With Your Passion, and the three crucial elements necessary for genuine inspiration:

A purpose to live for,

A problem to tackle, and

A partnership with like-minded people.

Last week, we unpacked why purpose is paramount to inspiration. Today, we’re discussing how problems produce tenacity—a vital component of ongoing inspiration.

Do you think David, Churchill, Tubman, and Washington felt inspired when they faced the challenges I listed above? You know they did!

People who reduce their dreams so small that there’s no challenge live bland, empty lives.

But those who tackle them have inspiration dripping from every part of them.

And while it’s counterintuitive, the principle is clear: the greater the problem to be faced, the greater the force of inspiration. They may feel initially devastated by grim news, but they’re inspired to consider how to tackle the problem. They’re inspired to take the first steps, even when the difficulty is much worse than they thought, and to keep wading in until they wrestle it to the ground. Grit is a tenacious inspiration.

Grit is a tenacious inspiration.

Tenacity isn’t limited to one personality type. All of us need it, and all of us can develop it. We only develop stronger muscles when we push them so hard that they hurt and feel weak. In the same way, we only develop tenacity when we push so far into problems that we feel like we’re going to fail . . . yet we keep going. It doesn’t matter where you are on a personality or temperament instrument; you may feel like an underdog, but you can be one that does amazing things.

I know what you’re thinking. What if the problem is too big? What if it’s too heavy for me to bear? This is where the other two elements of inspiration come into play. You need your eyes set firmly on a purpose bigger than yourself to fuel your tenacity, and you need to be partnered with like-minded people who can fight alongside you, fill in the gaps, and cheer you on to the finish line.

This week, consider the problems you’re facing as opportunities to grow in tenacity and inspiration to pursue your God-given purpose.

If you’re interested in learning more about how to stay inspired and how to inspire others, click the link below and purchase a copy of my new book!

PURCHASE INSPIRED EVERY DAY

Last week, I introduced my new book: Inspired Every Day: Three Indispensable Ingredients to Connect With Your Passion, and the three crucial elements necessary to genuine inspiration:

A purpose to live for,

A problem to tackle, and

A partnership with like-minded people.

Today, we’re talking about purpose and why it is the most important element of inspiration. All three are required for genuine inspiration, but

without purpose, we wouldn’t just feel uninspired—we’d feel aimless.

Let’s take a look at the other elements, so you’ll see what I mean.

If you have a problem to tackle but you don’t have a purpose for which you’re tackling it, you have a couple of bigger problems. The first is lack of motivation. If you don’t know why you’re doing something, why expend the effort and energy in the first place? The second is a lack of fulfillment. Say you do manage to solve the problem despite your lack of motivation. When you do, it’s likely you won’t feel satisfied, or at least not for long. When problem-solving is detached from a “why,” you’re like a hamster on a wheel—you’re putting one foot in front of the other, but you aren’t going anywhere!

The same is true for partnership. Imagine you work on the best team in the world. These individuals are driven, talented, and like-minded in every way. However, you’re all struggling to make the kind of impact you desire. You’re solving problems, you’re getting projects done, you’re even significantly increasing profit, so what’s the issue? Your team doesn’t have a clear purpose. You’re working together to do what is asked of you, but you aren’t being told (or reminded) of your team’s greater purpose. You aren’t connecting what you are accomplishing day to day with something bigger than yourselves.

All the other elements of inspiration will feel random and disconnected if we don’t have a crystal clear purpose that inspires us to reach for that big goal, overcome the seemingly insurmountable obstacles, and find people who will join us in the adventure.

In order to be inspired, it’s paramount to know your individual purpose, and in order to inspire, it’s paramount to regularly remind the people you lead that what they do matters by connecting it to your organization’s purpose.

So I have two questions for you today:

1. Are you connecting your purpose to what you do each day?

2. Are you helping the people you lead connect what they are doing to their purpose?

Remember, purpose is paramount to inspiration.

Remember, purpose is paramount to inspiration.

If you’re interested in learning more about how to stay inspired and how to inspire others, click the link below and purchase a copy of my new book!

PURCHASE INSPIRED EVERY DAY

In other words, people are more influenced by culture than policies. And the power of cultural influence eventually affects the way that people think, the way that people believe, and, ultimately, the way that people vote. As Andrew Fletcher, an eighteenth-century Scottish patriot, famously said: "Let me make the songs of a nation, and I care not who makes its laws." Fletcher understood that music moves people and influences their feelings about the world around them far more deeply than a political philosophy.

Can I be honest with you? I believe that many of our most celebrated artists are not shaping the culture in a positive way. You can sub out artists for a plethora of other words: actors, rockstars, entertainers, comedians. The prevailing message of influencers to our society is that personal desires are king. The message is that anything that stands in the way of your personal happiness must be a bad thing. It’s a me-centered culture.

And a culture focused on self is a culture of fractured, disunified, and lonely people.

This post isn’t really a rant against the current culture, as much as it’s a plea for you to get involved. Don’t choose to sit out. Every single leader can have an influence on our culture, and we desperately need people with strong values to stand up.

Every single leader can have an influence on our culture, and we desperately need people with strong values to stand up.

Abraham Lincoln said, “The philosophy of the school room in one generation will be the philosophy of government in the next.” If you were to walk into a high school classroom today, what would be the philosophy of the students? Who do you think is promoting that philosophy?

We need people with strong values to make great music, to write compelling novels, and to create entertaining television and movies.

If you’re like me, it’s tempting to see the world around us and want to retreat. We want to pull back and surround ourselves with a bubble of people who think like we think, believe what we believe, and act like we act. But removing ourselves from the culture is not the answer. In fact, it’s part of the problem. It does no good to sit on the sidelines. It’s time to get involved, and it’s time to start creating things that promote strong values.

Make the decision to be someone who creates culture, not just criticizes it. Go create something good. The world needs it.

On these nights when I do the evening solo with the kids, time can drag on. I get home, pull dinner together, and try to get us all through the “witching hours” of the evening without too many meltdowns. (If you’ve ever had toddlers, you know what time of day I’m talking about!)

But this night was different. I decided on my way home that I was going to take the kids out to dinner. I fully expected it to be chaotic, but to me, it was worth it to fill up the time before bed. The next morning Laura asked how the evening went, and I was happy to report that it went better than expected! Yes, our youngest kept trying to get out of her booster seat, and our oldest had an unhealthy obsession with the salt and pepper shakers, but overall, they did well. We had a fun evening out! I went into the night expecting it to be crazy, knowing it wouldn’t be perfect, so the evening met and even exceeded my expectations.

Isn’t it amazing how much our expectations impact our mental and emotional state?

Our days are full of various experiences, and we bring our expectations to them all. This isn’t a bad thing. Anticipation is a good and appropriate way to prepare for what’s ahead, but it’s a problem when we don’t set proper expectations for what’s in store. And that same evening I had with the kids could have been terribly frustrating had I expected something different. For example, imagine you’re planning a trip on a tight budget, so you and your spouse book the value hotel. When you arrive, you’re both surprised by how nice the accommodations are and how clean the room looks! You weren’t expecting it to look like this based on how much you spent. You are thrilled!

On the flip side, imagine it’s your 10th anniversary, so you and your spouse go all out and book a trip at a luxury resort. Unfortunately, you are both disappointed by the lack of staff willing and available to help and find your room and bathroom a little small and outdated. It definitely didn’t feel like the kind of luxury you paid for!

Was the cheap hotel nicer than the luxury resort? Not even close. But our expectations have a huge impact on how we value each experience.

The solution is not to have perpetually low expectations. When you sandbag your expectations, you aren’t allowing yourself to dream and anticipate life with the kind of excitement we all need. However, we should aim to set proper expectations. Think about a recent frustration. Ask yourself honestly, was the problem with the experience or with your expectations of it? It is a lot easier to change expectations than experiences.

It is a lot easier to change expectations than experiences.

This is true for us personally, but it’s also important for our relationships. If you’re a leader in your organization, you need to help your team set proper expectations for navigating a busy season. If you’re a teacher, you need to help your students set proper expectations about what it will be like to work on the project you’re giving them this week.

As a parent, you need to help your children set proper expectations for what it will be like to celebrate their sibling’s birthday coming up.

As a pastor, you need to help your congregation set proper expectations about what it is really like to join and serve in various ministries.

Make it your goal to set proper expectations. We’ll all enjoy experiences more fully when we anticipate them rightly.

Through my work at ADDO, I help leaders maximize their teams, develop great cultures, and inspire their team members, and in the process, I hear of gaps in their organizations. Often, these gaps exist because they decide to promote an individual who is a hard worker but not a gifted leader.

I witnessed this happen for the first time in college while volunteering for a student organization. One of our most passionate and dedicated volunteers was promoted to a position of leadership, but this individual struggled to produce the results the organization needed to grow and thrive. Another leader was average at best in one role, but everyone could see their potential. When given the opportunity to take the next step, this leader flourished… and so did everyone around them.

The problem is we have a tendency to promote high performers when they do not always possess high potential.

Disclaimer: This is not going to be a popular post for the crowd that only wants to reward hard work. Let me be clear: I want high performers on my team. They are valued, and they are appreciated. But if we fail to acknowledge this pitfall, we will be dealing with problems for years to come. For the sake of clarity, let me provide a couple of definitions.

A high performer is an incredible team member. These individuals show up on time, they are passionate about the mission, they are unbelievably dedicated, and they perform their roles with excellence. These individuals may or may not be the ideal candidates to be promoted. An individual with high potential could be a high performer, but not always. A high potential individual possesses the qualities essential to leading well. They are clear communicators, gifted in resolving conflict, eager encouragers, and able to hold people accountable in a productive way. Oftentimes, they have the ability to zoom out and see the bigger pictures.

Leaders can struggle to promote the right people in two ways:

1. We often promote high performers into positions of leadership even when they lack the skills to succeed at the next level.

2. We often overlook high potential individuals who might not be the best in their current role. I know you’ve seen this play out:

- We put the most gifted nurse in charge of scheduling and coordinating the other nurses on her floor, only to find she’s not gifted in administration.

- We put the best teacher in an administrative role, only to find he struggles to lead other teachers (and adults) the way he taught and led his students so effectively in the classroom.

- We put our best nursery volunteer at church in charge of the children’s ministry only to find they struggle to communicate effectively with the parents.

- We promote the brilliant assistant coach to a head coaching role, when they aren’t equipped to manage the entire program.

In an ideal world, the high performer is the high potential leader you need.

But we must be sure! Before you make your next promotion, ask yourself “Is this person just a high performer, or are they truly high potential?”

The success and future of our organizations depend on our ability to discern the difference and choose the right leaders for our teams.

During World War II, Frankl was taken from his home in Austria, pulled away from his job, separated from his family, persecuted for who he was, and endured deep pain as he watched people die all around him. Yet, he is famous for making this statement:

“The last of the human freedoms [is] to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.”

Frankl knew what it felt like to be without freedom, but he claimed that even in the most dire circumstances, we have the power to choose our attitudes.

Frankl is correct. We can determine our attitudes. But, remember, it is a choice.

For those Americans reading this blog, our Declaration of Independence includes it as it outlines one of our inalienable rights: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

The right to life and liberty are easy for us to understand, but the third is more difficult. Pursuit of Happiness. Here’s why this is more challenging: Pursuing happiness is not contingent on our circumstances. It all depends on our attitude. This poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox illustrates this point perfectly.

THE WINDS OF FATE

One ship drives east and another drives west

With the self-same winds that blow;

  'Tis the set of the sails

  And not the gales

That tells them the way to go.

Like the winds of the sea are the winds of fate

As we voyage along through life;

  'Tis the set of the soul

  That decides its goal

And not the calm or the strife.

Pursuing happiness is not contingent on our circumstances. It all depends on our attitude.

"‘Tis the set of the soul, That decides its goal, And not the calm or the strife.” Attitude. Pursuit of happiness. Making a choice. In each of our lives, we are sure to experience seasons of joy and also seasons of heartache. There will be seasons of calm and seasons of strife. We can’t control when these times will come, but we can control how we respond to them.

Today, embrace the freedom you have to choose your attitude and pursue happiness, regardless of your circumstances or situation.

You received a note home from school because of your child’s disruptive behavior in class.

You received negative feedback from your boss after delivering a presentation you’ve been working on for months.

You had a fight with your spouse this morning while you were trying to get yourself and children out the door.

You’ve been given what feels like an impossible deadline at work.

You had a disagreement with a friend about a polarizing political issue.

Your sales manager has just informed you that the deal isn’t going to work with the client you worked so hard to land.

Your mom called to complain to you about how little she talks to your other siblings.

Your teammate is making more money than you but works fewer hours.

Your teenage daughter told you she doesn’t want to talk to you about the trouble she’s having with her friends.

What keeps you up at night?

We encounter frustrating situations like the ones listed above every day. Yet, whatever our unique set of circumstances, we should make it our aim to have an appropriate response to each of them. But “appropriate” is a difficult balance to strike. Some issues are very important and warrant a lot of our attention. Others? They may be frustrating, but they shouldn’t completely consume our thoughts and emotions.

The problem is, how do we know which problems warrant our time and energy, and which ones need to be let go?

A few months ago, Seth Godin posted a blog, asking some questions that might help us:

“Will today’s emergency even be remembered? Will that thing you’re particularly anxious about have been hardly worth the time you put into it?

Better question: What could you do today that would matter a year from now?”

So many of us (myself included) lose sleep over things that will not matter a year from now. Instead of being tossed around by life’s daily trials, let’s ask ourselves how much they will matter a year from now.

Instead of being tossed around by life’s daily trials, let’s ask ourselves how much they will matter a year from now.

We aren’t going to get it all right. We’re going to make mistakes, and we’re going to fail. But most of these moments are fleeting and won’t affect us or the people around us in the long run.

So here’s my challenge to you and to me today: Let’s make the intentional decision to focus our thoughts and energy on the relationships and the outcomes that matter the most. Let’s stop losing sleep over things that shouldn’t keep us up at night.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, and their involvement in the military service.

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would describe to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

Days, weeks and months passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the man by the window had passed away. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said,

“Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

This story is called The Hospital Window, and its author is unknown. However, it’s not surprising that it continues to be told because it’s a vivid reminder of the power of encouragement. Truett Cathy, the founder of Chick-fil-A was known for asking this rhetorical question: “How do you know someone needs encouragement?” He’d always answer with, “If they’re breathing!” Everyone could use some encouragement.

Everyone could use some encouragement.

Be an encourager—to your family, to your spouse, to your parents, to your clients, and to your team members. Find specific ways to build up the people around you and make it your mission to spur others on as they pursue their God-given purpose.