So a few years ago, we bought a 20-year-old, 200,000-mile red Jeep Wrangler, a decision that would soon teach me an unexpected lesson about community.

Owning a Jeep comes with its own set of unique customs. First, there’s the playful tradition of finding rubber ducks left on your vehicle—something strange but unique to the Jeep community. Then, there’s the invitation to join exclusive Jeep clubs, either online or in person. But perhaps the most iconic aspect of Jeep ownership is the Jeep wave. If you’ve ever been behind the wheel of a Jeep, you know the unspoken rule: when you encounter another Jeep, you give a subtle, yet deliberate, wave—a simple gesture that speaks volumes.

This takes some getting used to. Why are people waving? Have I waited too long to wave back? Finally, it clicks, and the Jeep wave becomes second nature. Here’s where things get interesting. Our family also has another vehicle which lives at the opposite end of the cool spectrum: a minivan. I frequently find myself behind the wheel of the minivan—ferrying our three kids around.

Just about the time I’ve gotten the handle on the Jeep wave, I’m driving the minivan. I see another Jeep and, forgetting what car I’m in, I wave to the other driver. The response is always the same: an awkward glance, or worse, a blank stare. Without the Jeep, I’m not part of the club. I feel left out. I’ve realized that when I’m out of the Jeep, I’m out of the community.

This feeling is a small representation of a bigger reality of our intrinsic need to belong.

At the heart of our desire for community is a fundamental yearning to be known, to be seen, and to be valued. We thrive when we feel connected to others who share our values, interests, and passions.

Every one of us thrives in community. So, what does a real community look like?

1. Real community, when possible, is face to face, not virtual. These relationships spring out of intentionality and are not centered on comfort or convenience. They require creating room in your schedule for personal and present interactions with your friends and family.

2. Real community is authentic and exists beyond surface-level conversations. These relationships thrive in openness and honesty and leave the small talk at the door. They force you to allow people to see who really are, so they can help you become who you want to be.

3. Real community is responsive and leads to action. These relationships spur on intentional service and generosity. When one friend sees a need, they respond to it and do not seek anything in return.

Know this: The conscious cultivation of community requires the conscious commitment of time.

If you’re reading this and you desire to have community with others, here’s a bold challenge: Instead of sitting around and waiting for community to come to you, be intentional and pursue it. Take proactive steps to forge those connections. Reach out to others. Join groups and clubs. Engage in activities that align with your interests and values. Be the catalyst for creating a community that you want to be part of.

As leaders, it’s tempting to get caught up in complexity. We want to build credibility, ensure we’ve communicated all the details, showcase the intricacy of our offerings, and share the thoughtfulness behind the decisions we’re making. But the most effective leaders understand a fundamental truth:

Simplicity is the key to driving real change and action.

Simplicity isn't about dumbing down ideas; it's about prioritizing what truly matters, cutting through the noise and delivering messages that resonate. Why? Because

1. Simplicity leads to understanding.

2. Understanding leads to application.

3. Application leads to repetition of what works.

The strategy is clear: Simplicity → Understanding → Application → Repetition

Think about some of the most influential movements and innovations in history. They often started with a simple, powerful idea that could be easily grasped and shared.

Bill Gates, for example, played a pivotal role in technological advancement in our world, but he communicated beyond hardware specifications and programming languages with a vision for “a computer on every desk and in every home.”

As Leonardo da Vinci wisely noted, "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." Albert Einstein, one of history's greatest minds, understood this principle well. He said, "The definition of genius is taking the complex and making it simple." As leaders, we should strive for this kind of genius in our communication and strategy.

When we present ideas in a simple, clear manner, our teams can quickly grasp the concept and see how it applies to their work. This understanding allows them to put the idea into practice, and as they see positive results, they're more likely to repeat and refine the process.

So, simplicity is great… but HOW? It seems easier said than done.

Here are three key strategies to help you simplify any concept:

Subtract Rather Than Add: Less truly is more. Challenge yourself to go back through your plans, presentations, or communications with a red pen and cut anything that isn't absolutely necessary. Then do it again, and again. As Blaise Pascal famously said, "If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter." Taking the time to distill your message to its essence shows respect for your audience's time and attention.

Condense Rather Than Elaborate: When something is complex, it is tempting to drift toward providing more information. Look for ways to compress your ideas without losing their impact. Can you convey your point in fewer words or steps? Remember, your goal is clarity, not verbosity.

Simplify Rather Than Complicate: Be mindful of your word choice. Avoid insider jargon or overly complex language. Remember, most of the country reads at an 8th-grade level. Your brilliance as a leader isn't demonstrated by using big words, but by making big ideas accessible to everyone.

Simplifying isn't always easy. It requires discipline, clarity of thought, and often, more time and effort than taking the complex route. But the payoff is immense. Simple, clear ideas have the power to inspire, motivate, and drive real change in your organization and beyond.

As leaders, let's challenge ourselves to be masters of simplicity.

Let's prioritize clarity over complexity, understanding over confusion, and action over inertia.

In doing so, we'll not only become more effective leaders but also catalysts for meaningful change in our rapidly evolving world.

The answers are revealing. Without fail, people don't mention easy tasks or simple victories. Instead, they speak of the mountains they've climbed, the obstacles they've overcome, and the difficult goals they've achieved. Things like navigating life as a single parent, or getting out of debt. Some say graduating from college or building a business from the bottom up.

It's a stark reminder that our most significant accomplishments are often born from our greatest struggles.

Yet, paradoxically, most of us spend our lives trying to make things as easy as possible. We are wired to seek comfort, convenience, and the path of least resistance. While there's nothing inherently wrong with making life more manageable, we must be cautious not to shy away from challenges entirely.

In recent years, I've observed a concerning trend in society. There seems to be a growing tendency to discourage people from tackling hard things. We tell people things like, “Do what makes you happy.” I hate to break it to you, but that’s bad advice.

History has shown us that great achievements, innovations, and personal growth often come from facing and overcoming adversity. By avoiding challenges, we are robbing ourselves and future generations of valuable opportunities for development and success. In The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter, he notes, “a radical new body of evidence shows that people are at their best—physically harder, mentally tougher, and spiritually sounder—after experiencing the same discomforts our early ancestors were exposed to every day.” We need to reframe difficulties not as things to be avoided, but as opportunities for growth and achievement.

And it’s not enough for us to do hard things, but we should encourage others to lean in, as well.

As a parent, are you creating opportunities for your child to persevere through adversity? As a boss, are you creating an environment that encourages facing challenges head on?

As a friend, do you push those you care about to be the best versions of themselves?

When we face and overcome challenges, that’s when we grow.

By embracing hard things, we open ourselves up to greater achievements, deeper satisfaction, and a more resilient future.

Maybe this is the nudge you need. Step out of your comfort zone. That tough decision you’re facing? Don’t shy away. Lean In. You might just find that your greatest accomplishment is just on the other side of your greatest obstacle.

I get to speak to a lot of different audiences. Tomorrow is unique because it is in my hometown, in front of the 600+ leaders of the school system that I attended from Kindergarten through 12th grade. As I prepare for this talk, I'm reminded of the profound impact educators can have on their students' lives.

In fact, my 8th grade teacher, Margaret Wingate, changed the trajectory of my life. Her classroom was in a temporary trailer. She never used the overhead, fluorescent lights, just lamps, so it always felt calm. We sat in beanbags, not chairs. When we studied the 1920s we had to make our own radio commercials. When we studied the 1970s she dressed in hippie attire every day. She was one of my favorite teachers, but I didn't excel in her class because I didn't apply myself.

As I have prepared for my speech to educators tomorrow, I dug through some old stuff. I opened a report I wrote in eighth grade (that must not have received a very good grade) and found a note from Mrs. Wingate. She wrote, "Kevin, if you ever get to the point where you realize your full potential and actually apply yourself, there will be no stopping you." She was exactly right. I had some potential, but I did as little as possible to get by. Her words were very kind . . . sort of painful . . . and right on target.

This experience taught me two important lessons about leadership:

‍1. The Power of Words:

‍Proverbs says, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." The words we use matter, perhaps more than we realize. Mrs. Wingate's note demonstrates this perfectly. Her carefully chosen words had a lasting impact on me, resonating years later as I reflect on my journey.

Leaders should choose their words carefully.

‍2. The Balance of Challenge and Encouragement:

‍What made Mrs. Wingate’s words so powerful was the blend of encouragement and challenge. She acknowledged my potential, which boosted my confidence. At the same time, she also pushed me to do more. This combination is crucial in motivating others to grow and improve.

Mrs. Wingate's approach can serve as a model for us all. She didn't just say, "You're not applying yourself." Nor did she simply say, "You have potential." Instead, she combined these messages: "You have potential, AND you need to apply yourself to reach it."

As leaders - whether we're bosses, parents, coaches, or team leaders - we must strike a delicate balance between challenging those we lead and encouraging them. It's not enough to simply point out someone's shortcomings or to offer empty praise. Instead, we need to do both: highlight their potential while pushing them to reach it.

As I prepare to speak to the educators in my hometown tomorrow, I'm grateful for teachers like Mrs. Wingate who understood the impact their roles will have. Their impact extends far beyond the classroom, shaping lives and future leaders in ways they may never fully realize.

Last week I was speaking to a telephone and broadband association event in Asheville, NC. The leader was so kind to invite me to bring my wife and our two oldest kids. In addition to speaking and meeting some incredible folks, our family got to spend time together, make memories, and tour the Biltmore Estate together.

There were some total breakdowns with our kids along the way, as you can imagine with a 5 and 3 year old. When we were standing in the ticket line in 96 degree weather, I wasn’t sure this was going to make the list of favorite family memories. Yet as time passes, I will look back on that trip fondly. Why is that?

Two of my favorite authors, Chip and Dan Heath, unpack this phenomenon in their book The Power of Moments. They discuss the psychology of perception and explain the reasons why we remember certain events and not others.

In the opening section, they walk through a family’s day at Disney World as if they were rating their experience hour by hour.

Here’s their summation:

9 a.m.: Cattle-herding your kids out of the hotel room. There’s excitement in the air. Rating: 6

10 a.m.: Riding “It’s a Small World” together, with parents and children each under the impression that the other must be enjoying this. Rating: 5

11 a.m.: Feeling a dopamine rush after riding the Space Mountain roller coaster. Your kids are begging to ride it again. Rating: 10

Noon: Enjoying expensive park food with your kids, who might enjoy it less if they knew you bought it with their college fund. Rating: 7

1 p.m.: Waiting in line, for 45 minutes now, in the 96-degree central Florida heat. Trying to keep your son from gnawing on the handrails. Rating: 3

2 p.m.: Buying mouse-ear hats on the way out of the park. Your kids look so cute. Rating: 8

The average of these moments: 6.5. Not necessarily amazing, but it was a pretty good day. However, if you ask this family to rate their day at Disney World a few weeks later, they would say it was a 9.

This is because they will remember the way they felt after Space Mountain and the way they felt leaving the park. When rating an overall experience, you subconsciously average your best moment and your last moment together.

As Italian poet Cesare Pavese says,

“We do not remember days; we remember moments.”

This should be an encouragement to us. It takes a little of the pressure off. Sometimes in our pursuit of perfectionism, we strive to make every moment memorable. The problem with this is that we almost always fail. It’s really tough to make every single moment magical–whether at Disney or the Biltmore. Moments simply need to stand out and be better than others.

When we fully embrace the power of moments, we can focus on carefully crafting those mountaintop moments that people will remember for a long time.

My friend David Salyers, describes these moments as etched memories. These are the pictures, interactions, and feelings that are carved into your mind after an important experience.

At the local restaurant, you remember when the server walks up and ties the balloon around your three-year-old’s chair, and they all sing “Happy Birthday” to her, making her night.

At the fast food restaurant, you remember when the person behind the counter offers to take your food to your table, so you can situate all of your kids.

At the church, you remember the person who made you feel comfortable and helped you find a seat the very first time you attended. Then, you remember that person at the end of the service who said he would love to see you again the next week.

A year from now you won’t remember most of this week. But you might remember an intentional interaction with a coworker, a friend, or a family member.

Take a minute right now. Stop what you’re doing and think about the kind of memories you want to make. This is not a charge to be extravagant, to spend more money, or to give up a crazy amount of time to plan an experience. It’s a simple reminder for each of us to focus our attention on the memories that will be etched in our minds for years to come.

This message matters for each of us who are responsible for a group of people, whether a business, a Sunday school class, a classroom, a sports team, or just your family. A positive culture happens when you work daily to create an environment of consistent care and when you don’t miss making the memories that leave a lasting impression.

We live in a time of increased polarization, especially when it comes to our politics. That division leads to a more negative self-perception of our country. In spite of that, it is worth remembering that we live in a country that people are trying to get into, not get out of.

I know what you’re thinking. “Kevin, I can’t read another word about politics.” But this post isn’t about politics. It is about learning leadership from America’s greatest leaders.

Today, I want to focus on one of my favorite presidents, Ronald Reagan. His ability to inspire, connect, and lead is undeniable. As part of a leadership series I was recording, I had a chance to visit the Reagan Library in California several years ago, and was reminded of four key leadership lessons we can glean from Reagan’s approach:

Leaders Cast Clear Vision: Great leaders understand the power of vision to motivate and mobilize people. Reagan excelled at articulating a compelling future that resonated deeply with his audience. His vision for America as a "beacon of hope and democracy" wasn't just rhetoric – it was a call to action that inspired millions.

Reagan's famous declaration at the Brandenburg Gate, "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" exemplifies the boldness and clarity of his vision. In today's world of diplomatic nuance, such directness might seem jarring. Yet, there's an undeniable power in leaders who can articulate their goals with such precision and conviction. If you have a minute, you can hear more of the story here:

People are drawn to leaders who can paint a vivid picture of a better future and invite others to help create it.

Leaders Create Connections: Reagan's ability to forge genuine connections with people from all walks of life was legendary. He chose to attend Eureka College, a co-educational school open to a diverse community of students and only one of a few such institutions at the time. While there, he befriended Willie Sue Smith, the first African American female to graduate from college. Smith would help Reagan pass notes between he and his girlfriend during class.

Another story that exemplifies his relatability comes days after he was shot. He accidentally spilled some water on the floor in his hospital room. He was caught on his hands and knees wiping up the water and said that he wanted to clean it up, so his nurse wouldn’t be blamed for the mess. Proverbs 18:12 says, “Humility comes before honor,” and Reagan was a man that lived out this principle.

Reagan understood that true leadership isn't about elevating yourself, but about lifting others. His relatability wasn't just a political asset – it was a fundamental aspect of his character that allowed him to bridge divides and build trust.

As leaders, we must remember that our ability to connect with others on a human level is often more impactful than any policy or strategy we might devise.

Leaders Choose to be Optimistic: Reagan's unwavering optimism became a hallmark of his leadership style. His forward-looking attitude, encapsulated in statements like "Like most Americans, I live for the future," set a tone of possibility and progress.

This doesn't mean Reagan ignored challenges or difficulties. Rather, he chose to focus on potential solutions and opportunities. In times of uncertainty or setback, a leader's optimism can be a powerful force for maintaining morale and momentum.

Leaders have the power to shape the emotional climate of our teams and organizations. In times of uncertainty or setback, a leader's optimism can be a powerful force for maintaining morale and momentum. Coupled with determined action, optimism inspires others to persevere and achieve more than they thought possible.

Leaders Have Consistent Character: Perhaps Reagan's most enduring leadership quality was his consistency of character. Peggy Noonan, President Reagan’s speechwriter, said it best:

“In a president, character is everything. A president doesn’t have to be brilliant; Harry Truman wasn’t brilliant, and he helped save Western Europe from Stalin. He doesn’t have to be clever; you can hire clever. White Houses are always full of quick-witted people with ready advice on how to flip a senator or implement a strategy. You can hire pragmatic, and you can buy and bring in policy wonks, but you can’t buy courage and decency; you can’t rent a strong moral sense. A president must bring those things with him."

Reagan's dedication to his core values and principles provided a stable foundation for his leadership. In a world of shifting priorities and pressures, his consistency built trust and respect, even among those who disagreed with his policies.

Leadership isn't confined to political office or executive suites. Each of us has the opportunity to lead in our own spheres of influence – whether that's in our families, communities, or workplaces. I challenge you to embrace these principles in your own leadership journey.

The world needs good leaders now more than ever. Will you answer the call?

Maybe you’re like me. You think if you avoid or ignore a situation, it’s going to magically get better. Except that doesn’t usually happen. In fact, avoiding it often makes things worse.

If you haven’t heard the cow and buffalo story before, this will be a revelation. For the rest of you, I’m willing to bet you could use the reminder.

When cows sense a storm approaching, their instinct is to try outrunning it. If the storm moves west to east, the slow-footed cow will plod further east, expending more energy yet inevitably getting drenched as the storm overtakes it.

Buffaloes, however, take the opposite approach. Sensing that same western storm, the buffalo charges right toward it from the east. By moving into the storm's path rather than vainly trying to escape it, the buffalo encounters the storm head on and passes through it much more quickly.

This analogy contains a powerful principle:

When we're willing to face challenges head-on, we minimize fallout and arrive at a resolution more quickly.

Now, I'm not advocating for constantly picking fights or a combative spirit. Unrestrained conflict benefits no one. But a willingness to engage, even when it’s uncomfortable, is a discipline we should learn. I love this quote from Tim Ferris:

“A person’s success in life can often be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have in a day.”

We should lean into difficult discussions - not just as a last resort, but as a first move. Facing challenges is a step on the path toward fulfilling our potential.

Which uncomfortable conversation have you been running from?

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Here’s my encouragement:

• Pick up the phone, call the client, and make the hard ask.

• Own your mistake, call your friend, and tell them you can’t come to their event because you’ve overcommitted yourself

• Schedule the meeting, sit down with your teammate, and give the constructive criticism he or she needs to grow.

• Fine-tune your resume, gather your references, and call your contact at the company where you really want a job.

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Lean into the uncomfortable. Engage where you’ve been avoiding. My bet is that you’ll ultimately emerge stronger and stop wasting emotional energy while you’re avoiding.

Former President Dwight D. Eisenhower once criticized the politicians influencing agriculture by saying, "Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field."

Ouch. But he's absolutely right; the more distance between you and the problem you're trying to solve, the more disconnected and ineffective your efforts become.

Proximity is power, because the closer we move to a need or challenge, the higher our level of empathy and understanding. And the greater our ability to develop solutions that actually work.

It's why bureaucracy creates obstacles to solving problems - there are far too many layers, creating far too much insulation from the real issue.

At ADDO, we work alongside large organizations, inevitably bureaucratic, to help them connect to their frontline. We often find executives with good intentions who have trouble communicating with the people who directly interact with customers. The best leaders make sure to make proximity a priority, moving closer to the front lines rather than locking themselves in ivory towers and echo chambers.

But this doesn’t just apply to businesses.

How could your church be more effective if it had more interactions with those in your community?

How could you be a better parent if you spent time doing things with your kids that they enjoy?

Consider where you need to move closer. Put it on your calendar. Make the intentional effort to listen, observe, and interact.

Proximity provides perspective. Closeness cultivates empathy.

We won't move issues an inch until we move ourselves - closer to the front lines, closer to the problems that require solving. That's where change begins.

In the classic film City Slickers, there's a brilliant scene where grizzled cowboy Curly (played by Jack Palance) shares some timeless wisdom with Mitch (Billy Crystal). Mitch has paid for a two-week dude ranch vacation, where he learns some important lessons about himself.

I’ll paraphrase the conversation they had as they rode the range on horseback.

Curly observes: You all come out here about the same age. Same problems. Spend fifty weeks a year getting knots in your rope then…then you think two weeks up here will untie them for you. None of you get it. (Long pause) Do you know what the secret of life is?

Mitch: No, what?

Curly: This. (Holds up his index finger.)

Mitch: Your finger?

Curly: No. One thing.

Just one thing. You stick to that and everything else don’t mean crap.

Mitch: That’s great, but what’s the one thing?

Curly: Well, that’s what you’ve got to figure out.

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Curly is right. It’s up to us to strip away all the clutter and noise and find the one thing that matters more than anything. And, when we do, relentlessly pursue it.

To the younger readers: You earn this opportunity the older you get. In my book, 8 Essential Exchanges, I talk about moving from being the master of none to becoming the master of one.

The years peel away the superficial, allowing the core of who we are and what we're meant to do to take center stage. Each of us should work to ruthlessly eliminate the distractions and zero in on our singular defining purpose. While we may never fully achieve mastery, the pursuit itself provides clarity and conviction.

When the apostle Paul was writing a letter recorded in scripture, he said, “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.” (Philippians 3:13).

There it is again: one thing.

For each of us, that one thing will be different.

But, when we narrow in on that one thing, we begin to fulfill our purpose and reach our true potential.

So ask yourself: What is your one thing? What on earth are you here for? And always remember, each of us has a reason for being here. If you have a pulse, you have a purpose!