How are things going?

‍We’re asked this question a lot, aren’t we? How are things going at work? At school? At church? At home? “I’m crazy busy right now.” I find myself falling into the trap of giving that answer far too often. It’s not a great answer. In fact, it’s actually a pretty prideful response. It’s true; I am busy. But that’s not all that I’m saying. Busy can be a code word for success.

Do you ever use the “busy” response as a way to show that you’re “in demand” or really “making things happen”?

We get it. The business is doing really well. Your phone is ringing off the hook with new clients. The line is out the door at your restaurant. Your services are in demand. You have a lot of new people coming to your church. The nonprofit is throwing bigger events and raising more money. In the US, we’ve turned busyness into a status symbol and a means to prove our worth to other people. Make no mistake, being busy isn’t always a bad thing. If the things we do help us grow, busyness can be a great thing.

But if being busy is becoming our measure of success, let’s make sure we aren’t missing the mark of what really matters. As we dive into 2018, let’s ask this question: “Am I getting better, or am I just getting busier?”

Are we improving the way we serve customers, or are we only putting more pressure on our team members with no true return on investment?

Are we creating the best possible product for our market, or are we wasting time creating too many new products just to say we have them?

Am I filling up my work calendar efficiently, or is my calendar being driven by things that don’t provide long-lasting value?

Is my family participating in intentional activities that bring us closer together, or are we running in so many directions we don’t ever see each other?

Are you volunteering at the nonprofit because you’re passionate about meeting the needs of others, or are you filling up your calendar to get some “service hours” and feel like you did something “good”?

Take an audit of your commitments so far this year. Pinpoint the things you need to take off your plate, and make room for opportunities to grow this year.

Being busy isn’t always a bad thing, but being busier doesn’t always mean you’re getting better.

What we get credit for in life is not necessarily the most important thing we do.

At ADDO, we have a team that works tirelessly to serve our clients and customers with excellence. They spend countless hours sending emails, analyzing progress, negotiating agreements, and editing content to make sure we deliver the best service and products possible. Our customers appreciate the work we do. However, if they don’t feel important to us, they quickly become frustrated. Let me explain—when we’re busy doing important work on meaningful projects, it’s easy to justify waiting a little longer to respond to a client's email, letting a call roll to voicemail, or forgetting to reach out to keep the customer updated on the progress of their project.

The challenge is that the customer doesn’t see, well, what they don’t see. Make sense? Our clients and customers care about what we deliver, but they care even more that we communicate well when they need us.

At ADDO, I believe that what we’re doing behind the scenes is important. It’s the unglamorous work of long hours spent planning, creating, and delivering programs that builds up leaders. But what we get credit for is the most important thing to the person who is giving the credit. Therefore, excellent customer service and client-facing communication is essential to maintaining the opportunity to do the work we do.

Think about how this concept applies to other organizations.

An associate pastor doesn’t get credit for the hours of administrative work he does throughout the week, but he does get credit for how he responds to a church member that comes to him with a need. In a retail environment, the customer doesn’t give a team member credit for the effort they put into designing and building a new display, but they do give them credit for finding the right product when asked for help and doing it with a smile.

The director of a nonprofit doesn’t get credit for the time invested in planning a successful fundraiser, but they do get credit for how promptly they respond to the email of an important donor.

The teacher doesn’t get credit for the hours she puts into lesson planning and classroom instruction, but she does get credit for how quickly she responds to a parent’s inquiry about their child’s progress.

The doctor’s office doesn’t get credit for filing the insurance paperwork correctly the majority of the time, but they do get credit (or criticism) for how promptly they solve a billing dispute or deliver an important test result to an anxious patient. Again, the things we get credit for may not be the most important part of our jobs. However, if we don’t make our customers and clients feel valued, we may lose the opportunity to do the work we love.

If we don’t make our customers and clients feel valued, we may lose the opportunity to do the work we love.

In a way, our clients hold our jobs in their hands. Even if you’re “the boss,” you ultimately work for the people who purchase your products and services. Without them, our organizations would not exist. We should become obsessed with taking great care of our customers in a way that makes them feel important to us—because they are! Don’t neglect the important work of communicating promptly and intentionally with your customers. Investing in those relationships now will impact your company’s success in the future.

In every area of life, people are looking for a system to make their lives easier, simpler, or more efficient.

That’s why we click on the article that gives us the five steps to becoming a better public speaker, the fool-proof process to leading an effective meeting, the formula for engaging our team members, the guide to creating the best company culture, the program to grow our church more quickly, or the method for making our children obey. We want the systematic solution to simplify our messy lives, and it’s for a good reason.

Systems are helpful. We learn from them. They give us a methodology to think through and are often a great place to start. But here’s my concern—sometimes systems suppress our natural style. When I say style, I’m not talking about our outward appearances, but our natural giftings—the way God has wired us.

To put it bluntly, I am tired of meeting pastors that try to preach exactly like Andy Stanley. They study every tactic he uses, mimic his style, and sometimes, steal his sermon content. It’s not to say we can’t learn from Andy, but many pastors have traded in their personal gift of teaching to rip-off a less impactful version of someone else. Andy is great, but we already have an Andy—try being you.

Business leaders do this too. There are executives trying to emulate every practice of Steve Jobs or Jack Welch, and when something doesn’t work for them, they fall back on the excuse that it’s “what Steve Jobs always did.” Instead of creating a culture that fits their individual organization, some companies actually copy and paste their corporate handbooks directly from Google or Zappos. Are you kidding me?

The world needs you to be you. If someone else’s system can make you better, then, by all means, learn from it. But if you’re trying so hard to mimic someone else that you become a cheapened version of them, don’t waste your time. That person, or organization, already exists, and we don't need another one. Instead, we desperately need you to be you.

In this new year, study systems, implement processes, and learn from others, but don’t lose yourself in the process.

The best version of you is better that a B-rated version of someone else.

It’s hard to deny the invisible power of momentum. Have you watched a sporting event lately? In almost every game, there is a defining moment for the winning team. They block the kick. They make the three-point shot before the half. They hit the grand slam and score four runs at once. And after that moment, it feels like everything else goes their way.

Isn’t the same true in our personal and professional lives? Winning fuels our confidence and helps us succeed in other areas. Victory begets victory. A retired marine used these three words to explain to me that a small win on the battlefield serves as a catalyst to fuel the momentum necessary to win many more victories.

The point of this post is not to say that winning is the only way to learn, grow, and succeed. As I look back on this last year and look forward to the next, there are many lessons learned from areas in which I’ve failed. Our company, ADDO, creates leadership programs for companies and organizations. When we develop programs for students or young professionals, we engineer opportunities for students to overcome obstacles and be forced to persevere. I am a firm believer that failure is a great teacher.

However, when we focus on failure, we sometimes forget to find areas where we’re seeing success. In many ways, winning creates a chain reaction that leads to more victories, and in turn, fuels the momentum that propels us (and the people we lead) to even greater success. Victory begets victory.

Victory begets victory.

As we come to the start of a new year, I want to encourage you to find opportunities to experience victory. Look for the “wins” in both your personal and professional life. Find an opportunity where you see success, even in the smallest areas. And build off those small victories to fuel future success.

Try this—instead of setting unrealistic resolutions and unsustainable goals, create small goals you know you can achieve. Then, leverage success in those areas to create momentum to move on to bigger challenges.

Instead of trying to read a book a week this year, set the goal of reading a book a month. Finish the book early? Go ahead and start another.

As you seek to live a healthier lifestyle, set the goal of jogging a few days a week before you sign up for the marathon.

When you meet with your team in January, celebrate a victory from this last year, and use this as a rallying point before you embark on your next project.

At the start of the new semester, fuel momentum in your students by setting attainable goals for them at the beginning of this new grading period.

There’s something gratifying about reaching a goal. When we accomplish something, we feel better about ourselves and are inspired to tackle the next challenge. Find a way to apply this psychological principle and let it catapult you to even greater heights in the upcoming year.

Remember, victory begets victory.

Recently, I was listening to the radio and heard Casting Crowns' version of “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day.” Every year, this song makes me pause. It encapsulates how many of us feel about Christmastime.

‍I heard the bells on Christmas day

Their old familiar carols play

And mild and sweet their songs repeat

Of peace on earth, good will to men

‍There’s something familiar and nostalgic about Christmas carols. Even though our lives have changed, our families have evolved, and our homes look different, this tradition remains—we sing the same songs year after year. It’s easy to love them as the comfortable background noise of the season, but when you listen closely to the words, they can be discouraging. In fact, it’s easy to become cynical when we try to reconcile the words of these songs with the reality of our days.

‍And in despair I bowed my head

There is no peace on earth I said

For hate is strong and mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good will to men

‍Is this all a sham—not the reason for Christmas, but the reality of the season? I’m sure we’ve all asked this question at one point or another. It seems like everyone chooses to be kind for a little while, but we know the truth. There’s war. There’s hate. There are acts of senseless violence. Children are sick. Families are hungry. People are dying. And we’re still singing, “Peace on earth, and good will toward men?” We’re saying and singing one thing, while our present reality looks much different.

I love how the song continues...Then rang the bells more loud and deep

God is not dead, nor does he sleep

The wrong shall fail, the right prevail

With peace on earth, good will to men

‍This is a reminder for me and for you. In the midst of all that’s wrong in this world, the truth of Christmas still rings out.

This is still a season about the birth of Jesus, a God who loves us, and the fact that He is still in control of the universe.

This doesn’t mean there’s no chaos. We still sing songs that say “peace on earth” in the midst of war and strife. But does that make what we sing untrue? No, because the peace we talk about has come, is here, and is coming. The peace we talk about is in God’s Son, Jesus Christ. He came so that we can celebrate peace on earth and good will toward men, both in this life and the next.

Throughout high school and college, I spent seven holiday seasons working in a retail environment. I worked shifts at the mall on crowded Black Fridays, picked up extended hours, and constantly added items to already overstocked shelves. I embraced, and actually enjoyed, the chaos that comes with the Christmas shopping season.

Now, this season looks much different than it did when I worked retail, and it fascinates me that our culture and economy has shifted in such a short period of time. Recently, Seth Godin wrote a blog called The Last Black Friday. In it, he explains that as more people buy from the internet, Black Friday seems to get smaller. There are still people who will rush to stores early Friday morning to get a great deal, but this number decreases each year. The way people buy their gifts is changing, but the fact that people are buying a lot of stuff hasn’t changed.

This year, about 174 million Americans bought gifts in stores and online during the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. That’s 10 million more people than were estimated to participate earlier this year.

About 54 percent of buyers plan to spend the same amount of money they did last year, while 24 percent plan to spend more. Among those 18-24 years old, 46 percent plan to spend more than last year.

It’s estimated that Americans will spend about $682 billion on retail items alone this holiday season (statistics from the National Retail Federation).

The world is changing, and the way that people buy goods is shifting. But the one thing that hasn’t changed is that Christmas costs, and it costs a lot. So in this season when our personal budgets are stretched and our bank accounts are strained, I hope we step back and remember the part of Christmas that cost the most. In the midst of the decorations, the Santa Claus visits, and the stressful work parties, I hope you’ll pause to reflect on the real reason we celebrate—God became flesh. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son”—the most valuable gift this world has ever seen (John 3:16, ESV). Jesus was born in a manger in Bethlehem and dwelt among us.

Even today, the highest cost of Christmas is the gift given back in Bethlehem more than 2,000 years ago.

So when you’re at the mall shopping for a gift, checking out on Amazon, or looking at your bank statement this year, let’s stop to think about how much Christmas really did cost and why we celebrate it.

For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given;

and the government shall be upon his shoulder,

and his name shall be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. - Isaiah 9:6

Two weeks ago, I didn’t want to come into work on Monday morning. One of my best friends passed away the day before, so there were a lot of other things on my mind. What I really wanted to do that morning was “call in sick” or tell them my tire was flat. It really didn’t matter what the excuse was; I just didn’t feel like being there.

However, that day was a particularly important one for our organization—five new people were joining our team. We wanted their first day to be memorable, impactful, and intentional. As a co-founder and key leader, I needed to be engaged and present. I didn’t have the luxury of calling in sick or taking the day off on this crucial day for our company.

This reminded me of the fact that leadership has been put on a pedestal. Everyone thinks they want to lead. Everyone wants the influence, and even the responsibility, but not everyone is willing to pay the price of leadership. When we lead, our decisions, our presence, and our example matter more. In fact, the greater our influence, the more limited our options become. Leadership is like love; once we’re committed, we don’t get to choose when we want to do it. When I married my wife, I made a commitment to love her for the rest of our days. I don’t get to take a break on the days I don’t feel like loving her.

Leadership is like love; once we’re committed, we don’t get to choose when we want to do it.

The same is true in life and leadership. The higher the level of leadership, the fewer options you have. Think about it. When you become a manager at a retail store, you have the opportunity to grow leaders and take on more complex tasks, but you have to be available to solve problems whenever the store is open (even on your days off). When you become a parent, you gain the blessings of influence and responsibility that come with raising a child, but it’s also much more difficult to travel, to make last minute plans, and to do some other things you want to do.

Let me pause for a second to say that leadership is a great thing. I’m passionate about encouraging leaders in all phases and stages of life. However, we must remember that leadership comes with a cost, and the most effective leaders understand and embrace this fact for the good of the people they lead.

When God puts people in positions of leadership and situational influence, it comes with a great weight of responsibility. That’s why we’re given this word of caution: “Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness” (James 3:1, ESV). Teachers, leaders, and anyone in a position of influence must be present to guide and influence the people in their care, especially in challenging circumstances.

We don’t get to pick and choose when we lead. Even when I’m out of the office, I am still leading.

When someone in your small group is having a crisis, you, as the leader, have to be there.

When a team member is sick and can’t open the store, you, as the manager, have to go into work on your day off.

When your babysitter cancels, you, as the parent, have to stay home and miss a night out with friends.

When church members are frustrated about something that seems trivial, you, as the pastor, have to address it.

When a crisis happens at work when you’re on vacation, you, as the leader, still have the obligation.

This isn’t about being a workaholic or never having a day off, it’s just a reminder that your role doesn’t stop when you leave or when you don’t feel like doing it. Leadership is important, but it’s not all glamorous. Once you’re committed to lead, you don’t have a choice of when you do it or not. So if you’re considering a leadership position, understand the cost. For those of us called to lead, the price is always worth it.

A couple of weeks ago, my wife came to me and wanted to discuss an area of our lives she thought we needed to change.

Laura recently talked to some friends about the practices they put in place to limit their attachment to their phones, and she thought we would benefit from one of them. We have gotten into a routine where the last thing we do at night and the first thing we do in the morning is look at our phones, so she suggested we find a way to kick this habit.

Honestly, I didn’t see this as a problem for me, but since it was important to my wife, I decided to give it a try.

We made the commitment, bought an old-fashioned alarm clock, and decided to stop looking at our phones for the last hour before we went to sleep and for the time it takes us to complete our morning routines before we leave the house. No major changes throughout the day, just putting the phone down a little earlier and waiting a little longer to pick it up in the morning.

Sounds easy enough, right?

But this has been one of the hardest things I’ve done in a long time.

When I’m lying in bed awake, I want to grab my phone to send that one last email. I need to check my Instagram one more time. I really just want to look at the latest analysis for the most recent college football rankings. In the moments that I’m trying so hard not to get up and grab my phone, I’m realizing how deep this habit truly runs. In some strange way, I feel like a drug user who so desperately needs a fix, but my drug is an addiction to a piece of technology.

I know this blog might sound like another criticism of smartphones, but it’s not. It’s about how habits influence our daily lives.

“The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.” - Samuel Johnson

Habits can be good things or bad things, but we often don’t realize we’ve formed a habit until it feels impossible to break. When we try to form positive habits like exercising or eating healthier or committing to read more often, these things don’t come naturally. We have to intentionally decide to work at them to form healthy habits, so down the road, the good practices are the ones that feel like second nature.

Unfortunately, negative habits are much easier to form. We often don’t realize that we’ve formed habits like hitting the fast food drive-thru for dinner a few days a week, watching Netflix for a few hours after work every day, or scrolling through Instagram every time we have a break. These habits don’t require any conscious effort to form, so they require some focused work to break.

I don’t think that a smartphone is always a harmful piece of technology. However, when I realized that constantly interacting with my smartphone became an unhealthy distraction at the beginning and end of each day, I needed to make a change.

Are there other, seemingly harmless habits that you’ve slipped into? These aren’t always overtly negative things, but they shape your daily life.

On the flip side, are there positive habits and disciplines you need to pursue? Perhaps there’s a way to kick a negative habit by working at a positive one.

Consider your habits this week. It’s important to evaluate the things we do each day to determine how our habits influence our personal and professional lives. Our healthy and harmful habits can impact the people closest to us. So let’s work to kick the habits holding us back, and pursue others who can make us better.

Recently, I had a conversation with my friend Ike Reighard about what it takes to create a great place to work. Ike is a pastor and the CEO of MUST Ministries, but a number of years ago he was the Chief People Officer of a large financial organization.

He explained that as a company they spent a lot time studying what makes an organization a great place to work, so it’s no surprise that this company made Fortune Magazine’s “100 Best Places to Work” multiple years in a row.

One concept he mentioned was particularly fascinating to me. As they studied their corporate culture, they realized that people were most dissatisfied with their jobs when they felt like they were missing out on other important things. Employees saved their personal-leave days for big life events each year, but they felt like they didn’t have the freedom and flexibility to be there for the people who are important to them.

They wanted to be at their daughter’s ballet recital. They needed to visit their mom more during her extended stay in the hospital. They wished they could go to their child’s Thanksgiving parade at school. They wanted to be at their friend’s retirement luncheon.

They wanted to be there for some of those smaller things that mean so much to them and the people they love. So, this company created something called “Being There” time. Instead of asking their employees to pull from personal-leave or vacation time, they gave them a bank of hours to use for the important, everyday moments where presence is everything.

I know what you’re thinking, “This sounds great, but how does this apply to me?”

First, if you’re in a position where you can create time for other people to be there, do it. Not only will they be better spouses, parents, and friends, but they’ll also be happier at work and more loyal to you as an employer because of your generosity and care for them.

Now, for most of us, the power to give and create “Being There” time for others isn’t something that’s within our control, and that’s OK. What we can do is focus on doing our best to be there for the people we love. I struggle with this. Life feels full, and it’s tough to justify walking away from a hectic pace to be present with other people.

This challenge is as much for me as it is for you. In whatever stage of life you find yourself, fight to prioritize the time you need to be there. We always find ways to get off work for the big things in life, but we often forget that it’s the little things that are often the most important.

We can’t be at everything for everyone, but we should prioritize being present as often as we can.

Maybe it’s skipping your hunting weekend to be at your son’s Friday night football game.

Maybe it’s taking your lunch break to catch the end of your daughter’s school program.

Maybe it’s trading in a personal day to celebrate your spouse’s recent promotion.

Maybe it’s staying a few extra hours at work tonight, so tomorrow morning, you can take breakfast to your grandmother who’s in the hospital.

‍Being there isn’t always easy, and sometimes, it’s not even possible, but prioritizing time to be present is crucial to protecting your most important relationships. Find ways to be there for the people you love, and if you’re able, create opportunities for other people to do the same.