“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all your getting, get understanding.”

- Proverbs 4:7

In my position, I often have the privilege of speaking to very accomplished and successful people, and most of time, these audiences are made up of people quite a bit older than I am.

Before one speaking engagement, I remember being distracted by a man sitting at the front table of the room. He sported a stern scowl on his face, kept his arms crossed, and shifted uneasily in his seat as he looked over at me. His gray hair suggested years of life experience, and I felt like he was sizing me up, seeing right through my youth, and pre-determining not to be impressed by my talk.

Minutes before I was introduced to speak, I noticed this man barreling toward me. “You’re the keynote speaker?” he asked. I nodded affirmatively.

“What in the world can you teach me?” he blurted out. “I have pairs of underwear older than you!” I was stunned. All I could do was think, I hope you’re not wearing them now.

Not exactly the best pep talk I’ve ever had, but I tried to clear the distraction out of my mind and determined to give my best, anyway.

After the speech, he was the first one who approached me. I’ll never forget his words, “Wow, I really didn’t think there was anything I could learn from you today… but I did.”

This interaction shocked me, but I left this auditorium pleasantly surprised and encouraged. A lot of the things I share at these speaking engagements are things that I’ve learned from people that are older and wiser than I am, and I understand that I wouldn’t have anything valuable to share if I didn’t take the time to seek wisdom.

I still have so much to learn, but here are three steps I take to glean wisdom from other people.

1. I actively seek it out.

I intentionally place myself in positions and opportunities where I can glean wisdom from other people. For example, I prefer to attend church with older people, so I can grow and learn from those have walked through more life than I have. I also try to seek wisdom from great books, podcasts, videos, and blogs from people I respect and trust. I find that I most actively seek wisdom when I am tired of trying to be a “know-it-all.” I don’t know it all.  It’s much more freeing and beneficial to surround myself with people who know more than I do.

2. I ask the right questions.

Once I have surrounded myself with people I want to learn from, I ask them questions.  So much wisdom comes from simply asking good questions. For example: What happened to bring you here and why? Why did you make that decision? Why did you choose to do that? What was the result?

3. I apply what I have learned.

Seeking wisdom is a complete waste of time if it stays in your mind. When wisdom moves from your head to your hands and you apply what you have learned, it has a profoundly positive impact on your life and the people around you.

To gain wisdom, actively seek it out, ask the right questions, and apply what you learn.

This week, take some time to think about ways you can actively seek wisdom in your daily life.  

Ask yourself the following questions:

1. From whom do I glean wisdom?
2. Do I ask intentional questions, and do I seek to learn from other people’s experiences?
3. How do I apply the things I learn to my actions and decisions?

Recently, I was traveling back home to Atlanta from Salt Lake City and picked up a book called The Red Bandana to read on my flight. In this book, Tom Rinaldi tells the story of Welles Crowther, an equities trader who was working in the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. Rinaldi recounts the story of Crowther’s heroic actions that saved at least twelve people in the World Trade Center that day.

Although his body wasn’t identified until months later, Crowther’s family knew what he had done because multiple survivors of the attack had identified him as the hero covering his mouth and nose with a red bandana. Rinaldi’s telling of Crowther’s story moved me, but one specific part of this book captured my attention and challenged me to consider my dreams. It was Crowther’s dream to be a firefighter. Although he pursued a career as an equities trader after college, Crowther was not completely fulfilled in his work.

In the summer of 2011, he decided that he would begin the journey and pursue his dream of becoming a firefighter, dedicating the rest of his life to saving lives. He made this decision just months before the attacks on the World Trade Center, and even though he didn’t become a firefighter, he did dedicate the final moments of his life to saving the people around him. Rinaldi uses Crowther’s decision to pursue his dream to challenge his readers to consider our own dreams.

Rinaldi writes:

  “When did you stop? When did you put the hope away, shifting it from something real to something… lesser? When did the dream leave you as an aspiration and float off into the province of the never-to-be?

  Probably, never crept up gradually. No sudden awakening in a cold sweat, no precise moment of terrible clarity. There is often no sharp edge to surrender, no bright line between chasing and letting go of the dream of what our lives could become before we get caught in the gears of daily living, the hundreds and thousands of tiny compromises that move us through the day. The lock doesn’t stop to make the time between the last through when your goal was still calling to you and the next, by which it had drifted past range, caught between radio stations like static, until the fade is complete. Silence.

  It’s a creeping capitulation, the recognition of what we’re able to manage. That awareness comes in slow degrees, and at different times, in all our lives. It comes through the circumstances that shape us, the weather inside us, the failures that drag us below a line. You know the line—the one between what we want and what we accept.”

What a great reminder for all of us! At what time in your life did you stop believing in what could be and settled for what is?

Do you have something that you have always wanted to do? What is stopping you from pursuing that thing?

When we only listen to what's practical instead of what's possible, our dreams die.

Consider your dreams this week. Do you have dreams that you need to bring back to life? What will it take for you to pursue your dream now? We don’t know how much time we have in this life, so let’s start pursuing our dreams today.

Anyone who aspires to lead should always be careful for potential pitfalls. One of the most challenging for me is the desire for approval. Don't act like it's just me—we've all been there. I know there are other affirmation-seeking, people-pleasing, applause-aholics. We yearn for someone to tell us how great we are, and the worst thing in the world for us to hear is a critique.

However, when those critiques are offered, we become fixated upon them. We finish a performance or a project, and the loudest voices will be those eager to offer criticism.

For me, it happens all the time. I finished an appearance on FOX News, and I read the negative tweets first. A meeting wraps up at our office, and the person with the bad attitude and a scowl is the one who affects my mood. At the end of a speech, the one individual who offers their criticism is the one that I remember.

Let me be clear, constructive feedback is something we should purposefully seek out. But pure, raw criticism is something we must ignore, because the one thing that people will criticize most may be the very thing you're doing differently. And the thing you're doing different from others may be the very thing that will change the world.

If you're in the same boat as me, listen up. Read the quotes below and make a decision today—you will not allow the individuals who seek to detract and discourage you to derail you from doing what you've been called to do!

Your calling is far too important to let criticism keep you from it.

“If you just set out to be liked, you will be prepared to compromise on anything at anytime, and will achieve nothing.” - Margaret Thatcher, The First Female British Prime Minister

‍“The opposite of courage is not cowardice; it’s conformity.” - Jim Hightower, Former Elected Commissioner of the Texas Department of Agriculture

‍“Listen very carefully to the first criticism of your work. Note just what it is about your work that the reviewers don’t like; it may be the only thing in your work that is original and worthwhile.” - John Irving, Novelist and Academy Award-Winning Screenwriter

‍If you want to do something that matters, you will have people who will disagree with you, dislike you, and will even try to discredit you.

Receiving criticism is evidence that you are doing something that matters.

This week, consider your critics.  Do you have any? If not, are you being bold and brave in the work you do?

Remember this, “They don’t build concrete statues for critics!”

For more thoughts on criticism, check out my book 8 Essential Exchanges: What You Have to Give Up to Go Up.

Last week, we discussed the importance of leading when the majority is wrong and identified the misled majority. Remember, if doubt and fear are the main motivators, you can just about bet that the majority is wrong.

This week’s post is more practical. We’re going to talk about how to lead when the majority is wrong. I have found three best practices for leading successfully in the face of opposition.

‍1. Celebrate the dissenting voices.

‍Dissenting voices are the ones that don’t agree with you. These are the people in your workplace that can seem negative, but they aren’t afraid to share their opinion. They will be the first to play devil’s advocate if there is a unanimous decision in the room, and this is a good thing. You need people around you that aren’t afraid to question your actions and choices. This questioning forces you to consider all of your options, establish your beliefs, and make wise decisions when the majority is wrong.

‍2. Choose gritty people.

‍Do you remember The Little Engine That Could? Generations of elementary school students have heard this story of a little train engine eager to do anything to get the job done. Yet, how many of these children grew up to be hard-working, determined individuals? How many of them possess grit? Being gritty doesn’t mean being dirty or slick or dishonest. Being gritty means being willing to do whatever it takes to produce excellent work. Consider your current workplace and your team. Do you have gritty people? These are the people who embrace the company’s mission and that aren’t afraid of long days, difficult projects, and pressing deadlines. They are the ones who push everyone else to see the finish line and work harder to get there. They are the ones that help develop grit in their coworkers.

‍3. Courageously stand up when others are sitting down.

‍It is easy to follow a crowd.  It is easy to conform to the majority, but standing up for your beliefs and for what is right has a lasting positive impact on you as a leader and on your community.  In some cases, the fruit of this courage is instantaneous, and in others, it takes time to develop. However, this courage is crucial to leading when the majority is wrong.  

Courage is crucial to leading when the majority is wrong.

For example, Coach Maurice “Mo” Cheeks of the Oklahoma City Thunder basketball team led when the majority was wrong at the start of a game. The young girl chosen to sing the national anthem could not remember the words to the song, and instead of watching awkwardly with the rest of the coaches, players, and spectators, Mo Cheeks stood next to her and helped her finish the national anthem, feeding her the words along the way. The majority was wrong to wait awkwardly for the girl to fail, and Mo Cheeks led with humility in his decision to help her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4880PJnO2E

You lead when the majority is wrong when you celebrate the dissenting voices, choose gritty people, and stand up when others are sitting down. If you follow these steps, you will build a great team and lead a great team in the face of opposition.

This week, ask yourself the three questions below, and decide how you will lead when the majority is wrong.

1. Do I celebrate the dissenting voices in my life?

2. Do I choose gritty people to work on my team?

3. Do I have the courage to stand up when others are sitting down?

Recently, I heard a story about a police officer working in a difficult environment — a poverty-stricken, inner-city area.  Someone approached him and said, “I bet you have to work with some really challenging people.”

The police officer’s response surprised me. He said, “Most of the time, I deal with good people on their worst day.”

His response challenged me and caused me to consider the way I view the people around me. This police officer believes that he is working with good people that have bad days and that make poor decisions. The fact that he views them as good people affects the way he does his job and affects the way he thinks about his responsibility to protect this community.

Once you create a narrative about a person, it changes the way you treat them and the things you think about them. She’s always negative. He’s naive. She’s selfish. He’s arrogant. It’s easy to put people in boxes, and once you’ve placed them in a box, it feels impossible to pull them out. Personally, it’s difficult for me to change my expectations for a person after they are established, and often, I don’t treat them the way I should.

We all have this problem, don’t we? So, how do we fix it? How do we change the way we think about the people around us? Let’s take a moment to open our eyes and consider that every life has a story.

The woman who called you at work to complain about the product you sold her finalized her divorce today.

Your employee was late to work three days this week because he is getting his little brother ready for school. His mom is gone again.  

Your child’s teacher seems less than excited about your phone call, but you don’t know that her husband just told her that he lost his job.

It feels like your coworker can’t get any of his projects done this week, giving you extra work to do.

His wife just had a baby, and he’s running on little to no sleep.

Your pastor’s wife never seems available to help serve in the church nursery or cook meals for weekly dinners anymore.

She just found out her mom is sick and travels three days a week to care for her.

‍

The actions of these individuals can seem frustrating, but now that we know their stories, they make sense. They give us sympathy and force us to look beyond ourselves and our needs to the needs of others.

Zig Ziglar said it best: “The way you see people is the way you treat them.”

The way you see people is the way you treat them. - Zig Ziglar

It’s that simple.

How you do see the people around you? Ask yourself this question this week and see if it changes the way you treat the people in your community.

Leading is a challenge in and of itself. Having to lead in the face of opposition; that seems almost impossible. In this shifting cultural climate, we must be prepared to lead with boldness and humility even when it feels like everyone is fighting against us and our principles. Although this tension seems new, it is present throughout human history, and we can learn how to face these obstacles from leaders before us.

In the Old Testament, we find a story where Moses sent twelve men to spy out a piece of land that God had promised to the Israelite people. They immediately notice the land is amazing, but they are fearful of the obstacles that stand in their way (Numbers 13:27). Ten of the twelve men are so afraid of the people living there that they don’t see any way they could overcome them. However, the other two men, Joshua and Caleb, trusted God’s promise and believed that they could, and should, occupy the land.

“But Caleb quieted the people before Moses and said, ‘Let us go up at once and occupy it, for we are well able to overcome it.’ Then the men who had gone up with him said, ‘We are not able to go up against the people, for they are stronger than we are.’”

Numbers 13:30-31 ESV

If you know what happens at the end of the story, it’s easy to applaud Joshua and Caleb for their boldness and leadership. However, in this story, they represent just 16 percent of the spies that entered the land. Their opinion was wildly unpopular among their peers, but they knew that they were right.  Last year, Amazon launched a new smartphone, their Fire Phone. Experts raved about the technology, the price point, and Amazon’s ability to influence a market. The majority of industry insiders believed the phone would be a big success and eat into the market share of iPhone and Galaxy customers. Those “industry insiders” were, of course, wrong. In fact, two months after Amazon’s Fire Phone launched, AT&T cut its price from $200 to 99 cents with a contract.

Have you ever had to lead when the majority was wrong? If you haven’t yet, at some point you will. The first question you have to ask yourself is, “Is the majority ever wrong?” From the story of Caleb and Joshua to the Amazon Fire Phone expectations, it’s obvious to see there are many times when the majority has been wrong.

The second question to ask is, “How do I know when the majority is wrong?”

Here’s one really good way to know:

If doubt and fear are the main motivators, you can just about bet that the majority is wrong.

Consider the ten other spies in the story, the 84 percent that were in the majority. Their motivation for not trying to conquer the land was fear of its inhabitants and doubt in God’s promises. The majority was wrong. Joshua and Caleb led rightly as they chose to believe God’s promises and trusted Him for strength against their enemies.

Take some time today to consider ways you might be a part of a misled majority. It could even be as simple as getting sucked into a workout fad or spending too much time absorbing social media. Think about what motivates your actions and decisions as a leader. Once you’ve identified when the majority is wrong, you’ve taken the first big step. Next week, we’ll discuss how to lead when the majority is wrong. See you then.

Lately, I have been thinking about the following two quotes from men I respect. On the surface the two statements seem contradictory; however, I believe that both are true.

“If you don’t like change, you’re going to like irrelevance even less.”

- General Eric Shinseki, Retired United States Army General who also served as the seventh United States Secretary of Veterans Affairs

“In changing times, hold to unchanging principles.”

- Vince Dooley, Legendary University of Georgia Coach, former Athletic Director, and member of the College Football Hall of Fame

Reading these statements raises an important question for me: How do I remain relevant without compromising my principles? If you are someone who holds deep convictions but are also committed to being relevant, you understand this dilemma. This is not a simple question to answer, but I think considering how to engage a shifting culture without wavering on our beliefs is important to individuals and businesses today.

When the culture shifts around us, we have to decide the best way to respond to change. First, we must define this change as either a matter of principle or a matter of preference.

If it’s simply a matter of preference, making this change will not influence the core of who you are and what you do. Especially in the business world, you must be willing to mix things up if your customers desire something different. In fact, in matters of preference, you should be on the front end of change if it will benefit your business. Even if you don’t like the change personally, you should be flexible if the market demands it.

If it’s a matter of principle, making this change with the culture will threaten the core of who you are and what you do. If the trends of today fly in the face of your core beliefs, you should be willing to stand firm even if it costs you something.

In order to hold fast to your values in the face of opposition, you must be willing to sacrifice profits, prestige, and popularity.

After seven people died in Chicago from taking cyanide-laced capsules of Tylenol in September of 1982, Johnson & Johnson took 31 million bottles of its best-selling product off the shelves. Although the capsules were poisoned by an outside party after the product had reached stores, Johnson & Johnson took responsibility and placed their customers first. They chose principle over profit, spending over $100 million to recall Tylenol and relaunch a safer product for their customers.

This week, perform an audit of all the activities your organization is doing and ask this question: Is this a preference or a matter of principle?  This simple exercise will provide clarity for you and your colleagues, help reaffirm your values, and highlight areas where you can grow in relevance.

Think you don’t need a great mentor? Think again. The most successful and influential people of our time had mentors who challenged their thinking and pushed them to grow. Steve Jobs had Robert Friedland and Warren Buffet had, and Mark Zuckerburg had

Many books have been written about the importance of mentors and the art of mentoring. With all of the varying wisdom shared in those pages, there is one common quality of all mentors; they are not born, they are made. And great mentors are made in the laboratory of life, not buried in the pages of a textbook.

I love books– so much so that I decided to write my own! However, I’m convinced that all the book knowledge in the world can’t come close to the road-tested wisdom offered by one who’s walked the road before.

A great mentor not only lives to tell their story, but can successfully guide others along the same path and teach the mentee to avoid similar pit-falls & mistakes.

I’ve been so blessed to have mentors like that in my life. I wouldn’t be where I am today without having men like Vince Dooley and Mark Richt invested their time and wisdom into me. I’ve had other’s like Ike Reighard and John Hull who have encouraged me along the way. Their input was invaluable, revolutionized my thinking and pushed me beyond the boundaries of my own perceived limitations.

So, what makes a great mentor? Here’s what I think the top 3 characteristics of a great mentor are:

‍1. Great Mentors Are Reputable

‍First and foremost, your mentor should have integrity that is above reproach.  After you’ve covered that base, your chosen mentor should have success in the areas where you most need support, have a great reputation for being an expert in their chosen field, and have the ability to guide you in the right direction.

‍2. Great Mentors Ask Great Questions

‍Experienced mentors will ask probing, open-ended questions. Their goal isn’t always to produce knee-jerk answers, but to make you think more deeply and explore your own sense of purpose, value and deeper meaning within the discovery process.

‍3. Great Mentors Challenge Your Perspective

‍I love it when a mentor uses their wisdom and insight to remove roadblocks and unlock the potential in any given situation. Great mentors draw on past experiences and have the ability to see what you may not be able to see because you’re too close to it. A mentors input can help change your perspective and shift your way of thinking, helping you achieve greater success.

There’s plenty more I could add to this list, but those are my top 3.

Do you agree? What would you say are the most important characteristics of a great mentor?

Typically, we don’t talk about feelings in the business world. We like to talk about the hard things like the bottom line, profits, and procedures. However, I believe that there is a specific correlation between positive feelings and actual profit. The way that a person feels about what they are buying or the company they work for matters to the bottom line. In fact, most millennials choose to do business with companies the way previous generations chose charities. Think about the implications of this fact. Young people want their workplace and the products they buy to say something about who they are and what they believe.

This is why TOMS shoes are so popular. In my opinion, TOMS shoes are ugly, but they succeed because they explain their values through their product. Every time you buy a pair of TOMS shoes, another pair of shoes is sent to someone in need. The mission is simple but impactful. Buying a pair of TOMS isn’t just shoe shopping. It’s placing shoes on the bare feet of someone in need. This one for one model is clear and compelling to customers, but not all companies can and should pursue this practice. In other words, not everyone can have a “sexy” cause. If you don’t have a product or service that’s naturally compelling, how can you explain your values to your customers?

Let’s take a look at the popular retailer Nordstrom. In November of 2014, Nordstrom announced that they would be closed on Thanksgiving Day, standing out amongst other retail stores that planned to get a head-start on Black Friday. Their reasoning was simple: one holiday at a time. They wanted their employees to enjoy Thanksgiving with their families before jumping into the Black Friday rush.

Here’s the interesting part–not only did they choose to stay closed on Thanksgiving Day, but they actively advertised that fact as a way to communicate their values to their customers. Think about it. Nordstrom actually put up signs specifically to remind you that they would not be open.

Whether they are selling tablets or toilet paper, the companies that communicate their values well are the ones that win.

The companies that communicate their values well are the ones that win.

‍Before communicating your values, take some time this week to discuss what they are. Ask yourself and your colleagues this question: If tomorrow this company failed to exist, what gap would we leave in the world? If you can answer that question, you’re well on your way to identifying and understanding why your organization exists.