Once a year, ADDO brings in the company that manages our 401k to explain its function to newly eligible team members and to answer important questions about investing. These portfolios, like most stock market investments, look different week to week depending on how the market is doing. Therefore, this company rightly encourages us to have a long view of the money. This is especially important for younger team members. They advise us not to check our accounts too frequently because it’s easy to have gut-reactions to the sometimes dramatic changes and swings of the market.  

Here’s the bottom line: 401k investments don’t always pay in the short term. They aren’t designed to. However, when we measure the performance of the market over an extended period of time, intentional investments will likely increase, compound, and build up to a point that’s ready for retirement.  

OK, enough of the financial talk. I know you don’t come here for this.  

A few weeks ago, I heard this quote from Chick-fil-A founder Truett Cathy: “Kindness costs very little but pays great dividends.”    

Kindness costs very little but pays great dividends." - Truett Cathy

This statement caused me to think about kindness as an investment, one that generates a return over time.  

Truett was right. Kindness doesn’t cost much. Our time, energy, effort, and money require a lot from us, but being kind to people doesn’t drain us of our assets. And it pays great dividends.  

Now, this doesn’t mean your kindness should be motivated by personal gain. Like a 401k investment, if you think of kindness as immediately reciprocal, you will definitely be disappointed. If you are kind to someone, you won’t always receive that same kindness in return. Rather, it’s like tending a garden, sowing seeds of kindness will often bear fruit down the road.  

I understand how easy it is to become disappointed, tired, or jaded when we go out of our way to be kind to someone, and they don’t reciprocate (or even worse, when they act annoyed). Don’t lose faith. I believe that if you are kind early, often, and consistently over a long period of time, it will pay dividends back into your life.  

So let me encourage you with this: When the friend hurts you, when the coworker disappoints you, when the boss doesn’t acknowledge your efforts, when your kids aren’t thankful, when your students act like they could care less, when all of the kindness seems to be invested in people who aren’t reciprocating, just remember that you’re playing the long game.

Kindness costs very little but ultimately pays great dividends.

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At ADDO, our leadership offerings help build leaders from cradle through career, and right now, we are working with a financial institute in Florida to develop and implement Leadership Essentials courses. These courses are focused on developing those crucial components of leadership often referred to as soft skills.

Now if you’re new around here, you probably haven’t heard my rant about the term “soft skills,” so here’s a brief refresher: I hate it. That’s why I love that we’re calling these courses Leadership Essentials. I believe these “soft skills” like being a good coach, communicating and listening well, effectively delivering feedback, having empathy, being supportive, and making connections across complex ideas are essential to being a good leader.  

A lesson in one Leadership Essentials course shares a concept from The Leader’s Voice. In this book, Boyd Clark and Ron Crossland identify four fatal assumptions leaders make.

You know, the toughest part about teaching leadership is actually having to practice what you preach. Have you ever prepared a Sunday School lesson and realized that you were about to preach to yourself? Or worked through your notes for your team meeting and realized that your charge for your team was probably most applicable to you? That’s how I felt sitting through this course we were planning. This is a lesson I desperately need to learn. I’m betting if you’re in a leadership position, you’ll need to learn these as well. Here are the four fatal assumptions leaders make when they are communicating with their teams. Leaders assume their team members...

1. Understand.

I often talk about this idea that communication is not what’s being said; it’s what’s being heard. A while ago, a friend of mine posted this tweet that illustrates this concept perfectly: “No, Uncle Tim, you did not just booty call me, you butt dialed me. And yes, there’s a HUGE difference...TRUST ME!” Talk about meaning one thing but saying something totally different!

Sometimes we say something that makes perfect sense to us, but in reality, it’s incorrect or doesn’t make much sense at all to the other end of the conversation. Leaders often make the fatal mistake of assuming the people listening to us actually understand what we’re saying.

2. Agree.

This one isn’t as challenging in my business, but in many organizations, key stakeholders do not agree but also don’t feel empowered to express disagreements. In those situations, a leader will share something, and although the group understands the message, they don’t agree. A key problem in those situations is when the lack of agreement leads to a lack of action.

3. Care.

You’ve communicated something. People understand. Furthermore, they even agree with you. But they simply don’t care. There is a difference between people believing something is true and actually caring enough to do something about it. There are often things I believe to be true but don’t care enough to be moved to action. This is a major mistake we make when we believe our team members care about things they don’t.

4. Will take appropriate action.

This might be the most frustrating. The team understands, they agree, and they even care. However, armed with all of those things, they decide to do something, but the thing they’re doing is misguided or flat-out wrong.

Here’s a sample scenario: a company has an expectation that when someone walks through their doors, they will be greeted within the first minute. The employees understand the policy, they agree that it’s important, and they care enough to adhere to it. However, they noticed the greeting time still wasn’t soon enough. The application was literally correct, but practically wrong. In an effort to illustrate the spirit behind the policy, the CEO started an important meeting by saying, “We are supposed to greet people within the first minute,” then she stopped talking. The CEO made them wait in silence for one full minute for them to feel just how long a minute is. It felt like an eternity to this group. It was awkward, and her point was received. They learned that while they may say one minute, they really meant as soon as possible (or at least before it gets awkward).

As a leader, a manager, a parent, a coach, or a volunteer, when you are communicating to the people you are responsible for stewarding and leading, ask yourself these important questions: Do they understand what I’m saying? Do they agree? Do they care? And have I given them enough information for them to take the correct action?

Our leadership will only be as effective as our ability to communicate clearly with the people in our care.

Our leadership will only be as effective as our ability to communicate clearly with the people in our care. So stop assuming. Do the hard work of explaining, persuading, and providing an action plan. We all know what happens when we assume, right?

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Have you ever felt completely bogged down by the numbers? Sometimes I feel like the conversation in my head goes something like this:  

At home: Did you get paid yet? Have we made our mortgage payment? Did we pay our rent this month? Have we paid for our insurance coverage? Did the doctor’s bills come in? Are we going to have enough money at the end of the month? I know I’m supposed to be saving—who has time for that?  

In business: What’s the profit margin on this project? Are we going to hit our quota for this month? Were we able to beat last year’s numbers? How many people do we need to cover this shift? What is our percentage of growth year over year? How much are we paying in labor? How can we increase the number of customers we’re serving?  

Pastors may think about: How many people are we hoping to attend our services this week? Do we have enough greeters at the door? How many bulletins should be printed? Do we have enough visitor’s cards? Three people on the worship team are sick this week; who will replace them? How are we going to find five more volunteers to serve in childcare?  

Society causes us to ask: How many likes did I get on my most recent Facebook post? Why did no one comment on that photo on Instagram? Why did that tweet get retweeted so many times? How come no one reacted to my Instagram story—does no one think my kid is cute?! How many connections do you have on LinkedIn?  

It’s easy to get caught up in the numbers. I do it all the time. That’s why I think this is a good time for a reminder from Albert Einstein. Remember, Einstein was one of the greatest mathematicians of all time. His job was numbers, and he was an expert in his field. But even this mathematician was wise enough to say: “Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.”  

“Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.” - Albert Einstein

What a poignant reminder.  

It’s not that the numbers don’t matter—they do. But if you’re like me and sometimes feel overwhelmed by all the things we measure on a daily basis, maybe this message comes at the right time.  

Take a step back. Take a deep breath.  

You can keep counting—in fact, you should. Just remember, the most important things in life may not be measurable.

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A few weeks ago, I sat down with a gentleman whose role is to equip and encourage pastors. As our conversation progressed, he explained that many churches struggle to lead change. Whether they are encouraging their congregation to be more hospitable to outsiders or presenting a proposal to remodel the church building, he said that church leaders need to carefully consider their approach. He said: "If someone is going to effectively lead change, they need to turn up the care."

His statement painted a vivid image in my mind of a physical care dial that needs to be turned up. If I want to lead change, I need to crank up the level of care and turn up my care dial for the people in my organization.  

That visual reminds me of what a producer says when I’m on TV or filming a video. A director will often push me to increase my energy by 25%, to a point that might even make me feel uncomfortable, but when it comes through the screen, it feels right for the audience. The same is true when you’re leading change. You may feel overboard caring for your people 25-50% more than you normally do, but that’s the level of care that’s needed to get them through an important transition like trying to implement a new strategy, asking them to do something uncomfortable, shifting the style of your work, changing their job descriptions, or reorganizing their positions in your organization.  

Why does this matter? Because when people feel cared for, they are far more willing to follow.  

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In his book The Speed of Trust, Stephen Covey explains that the speed at which an organization can change is directly correlated to the level of trust within that organization. In other words, the more that people trust each other, the more quickly people will move toward a proposed change. If someone believes (trusts) that their leader’s intentions are pure, that they act for the good of their employees, volunteers, or church members, they are more willing to endure discomfort for a season as they adjust to change.  

So if trust is essential to helping any group change and grow, how can we improve that trust? It all goes back to care.  

We gain trust by genuinely caring for people.

Practically caring for people can look drastically different depending on the relationship and situation.  

It might be taking the time to write one volunteer a note each week, expressing your appreciation for their hard work.  

Maybe it’s sending that personal text message to the church member that you saw go out of their way to connect with a visitor.  

It could be providing a bonus to your team members that put in hours outside of work to complete a big project that helped your business to grow.  

In your family, it could be encouraging your children in the everyday victories like being kind and generous to their siblings without being asked.

Don’t misunderstand me. I am not encouraging you to employ care as a strategy to manipulate or coerce individuals into doing what you want. Caring for your people should be a habit and a posture you adopt every single day.  

Then, when you’re trying to make those extra moves or substantial shifts, you double down and increase that care, so they are reminded of what they already know to be true.

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We live in a world of copycats.

I’m privileged to be in a position where I regularly talk to smart young leaders. These men and women are ambitious. They want to achieve great things. They dream of creating products and services that add value. Unfortunately, many of them fall into a terrible trap. Looking for the easiest path, they search for a fail-proof formula they can replicate and repurpose. They see others who have succeeded and begin to ask who they should be instead of what they could do.

Too often young people (older people too) make a major mistake—they try to become someone else instead of something unique that the world desperately needs.

Mark McNeilly writes in his book Sun Tzu and the Art of Business: “Although competitive imitation may be the highest form of flattery, it is the lowest form of strategy.”

"Although imitation may be the highest form of flattery, it is the lowest form of strategy.”

- Mark McNeilly

Certainly, there are some things we should imitate and replicate that other people are doing successfully. Consider these three areas:

1. Policies and Procedures.

If there are businesses, nonprofits, or churches that run smoothly because they have certain policies and procedures in place, these are things you should consider replicating to improve your own organization. The same is true in other areas of our lives. If we observe a healthy and happy home, it’s worth asking what standards make that household so peaceful. If something works well for one family, it may be worth replicating and adapting to fit your own family’s needs.

2. Process.

Without question, there are some tried and true methods for doing work that should be imitated. If somebody else has figured out how to code a website well, draw up a formula on an excel spreadsheet, or create a tool to make work more efficient and effective, by all means, use it!

3. Products.

This one is a little tougher to explain, but let’s talk through a couple of examples. If somebody figured out how to make a really good burrito, but you figure how to make a better burrito—sell it. At one point, someone figured out how to make the first car, but others have found ways to make a car that’s safer, or has better gas mileage, or that’s faster and more fun to drive. Taking an idea and making it better isn’t a bad thing—it’s smart!

But imitation shifts from being a smart strategy to a fatally flawed approach when you try to imitate another person. There is an epidemic of people who read books about Steve Jobs’ leadership style and try to replicate it. Yes, he was incredibly successful, but it’s well known that he could be abrasive, arrogant, and even mean-spirited. Now, there are leaders in the world who are treating their team members badly because they want to be somebody they are not. Just because it worked for him, doesn’t mean it will work for you.

The same is true of our values. I often sit across from new entrepreneurs who will ask me about the values that drive me. It blows my mind when I see those same values show up on their website the following week. Although it’s flattering in the moment, it’s ultimately concerning. If you’re looking to someone else to figure out your values, you don’t know who you are, and you’re in trouble.

Not all imitation is bad, but trying to be someone else is unacceptable. In fact, it’s robbery. You’re robbing the world of your unique, God-given gifts. Your uniqueness is precisely what provides you with the best opportunity.

Judy Garland once said, “Always be a first-rate version of yourself and not a second-rate version of someone else.”

If you’re a pastor, stop trying to watch sermons online to copy a particular speaking style.

If you’re a leader, stop studying Steve Jobs’ management approach and just be yourself.

If you’re an artist, stop trying to create what’s already selling and make something unique.

If you’re a writer, stop trying to be your favorite author and write from the heart.

When it comes to policies, procedures, processes, and products, feel free to rip off, replicate, and imitate. But when it comes to the unique pieces of your individual self, don’t settle for a cheap copy of somebody else.

Remember this principle that’s true for both fine art and for success in life—people never pay as much for a copy as they do for the original.

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Businesses thrive when they have customers who turn into champions, and those champions become raving fans. But you can’t have a raving fan without first having great customer service. Here are three essential elements to a great customer experience:

1. It’s accurate: you get what you pay for. If you’re placing an order, the order is accurate. If you buy a product, the product is defect-free. If you’re staying in a hotel room, the room is clean, and you have everything you need.

2. It’s timely: you get it when you expect it. Your call is answered immediately. Your package arrives on or before its estimated arrival date. You move through the drive-thru quickly. The website is finished on time.

Recently, I was traveling and had a moment of weakness—I wanted a Steak ‘n Shake milkshake. So I pulled up to their drive-thru and was greeted by an employee that sounded anything but eager to see me. She said, “Just to let you know, it will be 10-15 minutes before I can take your order and another 45 minutes before we can have you order ready.” Forty-five minutes? For a milkshake?! It was insanity and the complete opposite of a good customer service experience.

3. It’s done with care: you feel good after the interaction. The person answering your call, the individual taking your order, or the team member delivering the service enjoys what they are doing and treats you like they care about you.

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Imagine this scenario. I walk into a fast food establishment. I am standing in line, and I hear someone behind the counter yell “NEXT!” I look up and realize they are calling me, so I walk up to take my order. But when I reach the counter, they are looking down because they are finishing the previous transaction. Finally, they look up at me. We have never met before, but in this moment, I realize that this person hates me. I am an inconvenience to their day and what they are trying to accomplish. “What do you want?” they ask. (Side note: This is OK if you’re at the Varsity in Atlanta where it’s tradition for the people behind the counter to yell “What d’ya have?” at customers. But pretty much everywhere else, it’s not OK.) I tell them my order. They recite it back to me perfectly and say, “Alright, that will be $5.85.” I hand them my money. They give me my change, hand me my order, and before I can even take a step away from the counter, yell “NEXT”, so the next person in line will step up.

What’s fascinating about this scenario is that the first two components of a positive customer experience are met. The order is accurate, and I get it in a timely fashion. But I wouldn’t view this interaction as a positive customer service experience. It’s not enough.

The same is true if someone treats me with care but never gets my order right or takes forever to complete it. Just being nice isn’t enough.

For a customer to feel genuinely served during an interaction, all three pieces must be present: it must be accurate, timely, and delivered with care.

What’s interesting is that companies that have great customer service also tend to be the most profitable.

Companies that have great customer service also tend to be the most profitable.

Consider Marriott’s success. They are known for putting people first from top to bottom, and it shows in the way their employees care for hotel guests. This is why I regularly stay at Marriott hotels when I travel.

Sometimes, it can feel like Amazon is taking over the world of internet retail, and it’s for good reason. Amazon continues to rank at the top of ForSee’s Experience Index for retail insights. They know their customers, and year after year, work to improve their customer’s online shopping experience.

Chick-fil-A’s dedication to second mile service raised the bar for customer service across all industries, not to mention the fact that they make more per restaurant than any other fast food establishment in the country.

So if you’re looking to grow your company, start by improving your customer service.

This week, work at these three principles to improve your organization’s customer service. Also, consider how these strategies could help you care for all of the people in your life. When you work with excellence, value people’s time, and treat others with care, you create raving fans.

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Have you ever found yourself desperate for help, for a team member to work on your project, for a volunteer to sign up for your organization? The timeline is crunched, and you’re feeling pressured to find someone fast. So you lower your standards. You justify it in your mind—it’s only one person; it’s only one time; it won’t make that much of a difference.  

You later find that you’ve unintentionally set off a chain reaction, and you look around and realize you’re no longer on the A team. You’re on the B team or the C team. You’re in the middle of what Guy Kawasaki calls a Bozo Explosion.  

Steve Jobs once said, “A small team of A+ players can run circles around a giant team of a B and C players.” Guy Kawasaki worked directly for Steve Jobs, and he explains this principle in an article titled “12 Pivotal Lessons Steve Jobs Taught Guy Kawasaki.”  

Here’s the premise: A players hire A players. If you’re an A player, you want to surround yourself with people as smart or smarter than you.  

To make this abundantly clear, let’s assign people a number from 1 to 10, with 10 being the most talented and 1 being the least. The smartest people, the 9’s and 10’s, don’t want to be the smartest people in the room. They want to be around other 9’s and 10’s. This is why the best musicians want to make and play music with other talented artists. This is why the best athletes desire to play with and compete against the highest-ranked players and teams. This is why the most intelligent people desire to study at the most prestigious universities.  

However, if you begin to lower your standards and allow B’s into your organization, they will attract C’s because they want to feel superior. Put another way, the same principle that applies to 9’s and 10’s, doesn’t apply to 7’s and 8’s. In fact, the 7’s and 8’s want to be around 5’s and 6’s in order to feel superior. They want to feel like the smartest or most talented people in the room. The 5’s and 6’s? You guessed it: they start to bring on 3’s and 4’s. It’s at this stage you’ve entered what Kawasaki refers to as the Bozo Explosion. If you invite one clown, you will probably end up with a car full of clowns.  

If you invite one clown, you will probably end up with a car full of clowns.

When you’re looking for talent and are feeling pressed for time, stressed out, and tempted to lower your standards, don’t. Don’t just settle for a warm body. The best organizations and businesses would rather wait longer to have the right person on their team than settle for a B or C player that’s the wrong fit for their company.  

Real talk: If you’re tempted to surround yourself with people who are less talented than yourself because it makes you feel superior, you need to take a hard look in the mirror and evaluate your intentions. In every circumstance, whether you are the CEO of your organization or in an entry-level position, you should work hard to surround yourself with people who push you to be better.  

This takes a rare blend of confidence and humility. If you need a quick refresher on what this looks like, check out last week’s blog post.  

Here’s the bottom line: don’t set off the Bozo Explosion. Work to be an A player. Surround yourself with other A players. The work you’re doing is too important to lower your standards.

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Everyone would like to have more knowledge.

We may not all care about knowledge in the same areas, but when we care about something, we like to acquire information about it. We want to know the most fun facts about our favorite TV show, book series, or movie saga. We like to be able to rattle off the statistics of our home baseball team. We want to be the most credentialed professional in the office. We want knowledge, and we also want others to know we have it.

Knowledge isn’t bad, but knowledge without wisdom is just pride.

Knowledge without the discernment of how to use it makes us feel better, but it doesn’t make us better.

Knowledge attainment alone is about ego.

I don’t want self-seeking knowledge. I want wisdom. So, how do we acquire it?

The Bible has a lot to say about wisdom, and it explains what wise people do differently. Here are three disciplines it emphasizes. If we put these into practice, we will be well on our way to gaining wisdom.

1. The humility to accept wise counsel.

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.” - Proverbs 12:15

“The wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin.” - Proverbs 10:8

A wise person is humble enough to accept that they aren’t always right. We don’t always know best, and we often need the insight of others to make good decisions. One of the best ways to gain wisdom is to surround ourselves with wise people.

A wise person is humble enough to accept that they aren’t always right.

2. Patience.

“Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.” - Proverbs 14:29

Ouch. This one is tough for me. How about you? Are you quick to take offense? Are you easily frustrated? People who practice patience aren’t easily angered, and they don’t allow small delays to ruin their day.

I love what Maya Angelou said about this, “I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

3. Make every day count.

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” - Psalm 90:12

Remembering the fact that we will die one day reminds us to work hard to make every day count. Although it feels morbid, it’s healthy think about death. Living in light of this reality should make us live differently.

This week, consider how you’re gaining wisdom. Are you humble enough to surround yourself with good people? Are you patient when it’s easy to be frustrated? Are you living in a way that makes every day count?

Here’s the really cool part about pursuing wisdom: not only do these practices—seeking wise counsel, responding with patience, and having a healthy perspective of our lives— lead to wisdom, but the wiser you are the more naturally these qualities come.

Seek wisdom. It’s only when we grow in wisdom that knowledge can have a meaningful purpose in our lives.

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How many times has a Twitter argument changed someone's opinion?

Do you know anyone who changed their mind after debating in the comments section of a Facebook post?

Does anyone win a screaming match in the end? Have your curt text messages ever persuaded a friend to take your side?

It’s very seldom that an argument will actually persuade someone to take the other side. Even if one person concedes, it’s unlikely they’ll change their mind.

Let’s talk about persuasion. Regardless of our profession and our position, we all need to be able to persuade others.

We need to close more sales. We’d like to win more people to our political view. We want more people to experience the peace that comes with our faith. We want to get our kids to listen to us. We really want our spouse to agree with our location choice for the family vacation.  We all want people on our side. We want to shift opinions. We want our families, our customers, and our co-workers in our corner. So, how do we become better at persuasion?

We can appeal to emotion, use logic, cast a vision of a better way, or articulate how our ideas will be beneficial long term. But if you want a simple, strategic way to improve your persuasion ability immediately, here’s an idea: be more likable.

That’s it.

To be persuasive, you should be delightful.

Be somebody that other people want to be around. Be compassionate. Be generous. Be kind. You’re far more likely to persuade people who like you.

Andy Andrews, one of my favorite communicators, gives this funny and practical example of how his marriage radically changed based on a lesson he learned from his dog, Lucy.

Bottom line, being delightful can help improve all areas of your life, especially your ability to persuade.

How about one more example?

The Apostle Paul wrote that “God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance” (Romans 2:4). Think about that. With all of the attributes of God, the Bible says that it’s his kindness that brings us to repentance—that causes us to turn around and change our lives. If God uses kindness to draw us to himself, don’t you think we should show kindness to change hearts and minds?

Take time this week to delight the people around you, care for their needs, make them smile. And when you think they might need some persuading to take the next step, you just might find they’re already in your corner.

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