For the last four and half years, I’ve had the opportunity to share the message of 8 Essential Exchanges with a diverse range of audiences, from high school students in gymnasiums to senior-level executives in corporate conference rooms.

For each audience, I’ll pick three or four exchanges to share that seem most applicable to them, but the one exchange I am always hesitant to talk about is exchanging the immediate for the ultimate. Why? It seems too simple. The concept is not new. The idea is not original. And so there are many times I get through three exchanges and feel a strong urge to cut my talk short. Why waste the audience’s time telling them something they already know?

However, I’m reminded that this is a challenge we desperately need to hear. Almost every time I walk through this exchange with a group, somebody from the audience will come up to me afterward and tell me how much they needed to hear it. They open their hearts to me and admit things like, “Today, I realized that I put my family second to pursue my career,” or “I’ve spent years chasing short-term satisfaction, and it’s robbed me of what I ultimately wanted in life.”

So today, I’ll issue the challenge again. I know you’ve heard it before, but I don’t think there’s anyone reading this who doesn’t struggle in this area. We know deep down inside that we shouldn’t pursue short-term pleasure when it prohibits long-term growth. It’s a simple, universal truth, but it’s so very tough for us to apply. Please don’t miss this: When you choose what you want NOW over what you want MOST, you forfeit your future for a fleeting feeling that will fade away.

When you choose what you want NOW over what you want MOST, you forfeit your future for a fleeting feeling that will fade away.

Max Lucado says it this way:

“When you are in the final days of your life, what will you want?

Will you hug that college degree in the walnut frame?

Will you ask to be carried to the garage, so you can sit in your car?

Will you find comfort in rereading your financial statement? Of course not.

What will matter then will be people.

If relationships will matter most then, shouldn’t they matter most now?"

This challenge is not new or complex or ground-breaking. It’s not even close to being original, but it might be the most important thing you read this week. If you actually apply it, it could change your life and remind you to pursue what you want most instead of what you want now.

The best way to live out this exchange is to audit your activities. What are doing right now, today, that makes you happy in the short term but will rob you of joy in the long term? Do whatever it takes to change that. Make the sacrifices necessary to take those things away. Give up short-term pleasure for long-term growth. It will be the most important exchange you could ever make.

A few weeks ago, I needed to catch a flight, so I planned to be at the airport an hour before take-off. The problem was that I didn’t give myself any buffer time, and honestly, I never do. I am always running late, so the people that travel with me are accustomed to it not being a stress-free experience.

Even though Atlanta is known for its traffic, I somehow forget about this on travel days. To make it to the airport, I weave through cars, driving too fast through construction zones, and do my best to avoid the slowest lanes of traffic. When I finally make it to the airport, I realize that I haven’t factored in the extra time to park my car. I screech into the first open parking lot, keeping my eyes peeled for an available space, chase down the Park ‘n’ Ride bus, and tap my foot as the bus crawls toward the arrivals drop-off. As the bus pulls up, I see the baggage check line growing and know that I’ll have to wait. Inevitably, from baggage check, I run through the airport like a crazy person to get through security and to my gate before the final boarding call. I feel like I’m in the Home Alone airport scene, sprinting with my carry-on, dodging families with strollers, and completely frustrated by anyone walking at a normal speed through the terminal.

This particular travel day was no different. After checking my bag, I ran to the first security checkpoint only to find a family blocking the entrance of the security line. My initial reaction was frustration. Why are they just standing there? But then, I noticed two of them were locked in a hug. There were tears rolling down their faces, and the other family members looked on with glossy eyes. It was a powerful moment that stopped me in my tracks. I don’t know their story. Maybe somebody was traveling far away, and the family wouldn’t see them for a while. Maybe one of the people in the embrace received a grim diagnosis, and this could be one of their final moments together.

Maybe someone is being deployed, and their future is uncertain. I’m not sure of all the details, but they knew something about their situation that caused them to treat that goodbye with a weight and intentionality that is uncommon in most of our interactions. When we know a moment is going to change our lives, we treat it differently. We say a longer goodbye. We’re invest in the important day at work. We celebrate the milestones in our child’s life. And we should. We don’t get the opportunity to treat every single day and every interaction like it will change our lives. There are some days that we know are important. However, many of the most important moments sneak up on us.

Witnessing this powerful interaction in the airport was a wake-up call for me. I don’t want to be so busy that I miss the moments that need my attention. Typically, I text my wife Laura before my plane takes off. I tell her that I love her and will let her know when I make it to my destination. But this day, I texted a few more people, letting them know how much they mean to me.

I don’t want to be so busy that I miss the moments that need my attention.

Instead of racing through life like my typical travel experiences, I am trying to slow down. It’s not easy, but it’s something I must continue to work toward. Don’t you think we all should try to slow down? If we open our eyes to opportunities to connect with people, we are less likely to miss out on the meaningful moments, especially the ones we didn’t expect to be meaningful.

A few weeks ago, Chipper Jones was elected to the National Baseball Hall of Fame. Being a fan of any team in the state of Georgia means I’m used to disappointment, but Chipper Jones reminds me of the great seasons of 14 straight division titles for the Braves. The image of Chipper Jones in an Atlanta Braves uniform is a hallmark of childhood. So the older I have gotten, the more baseball brings back fond memories of growing up in Braves country.

Now, I know it’s February, and it’s only the beginning of spring training. But there are lots of life lessons we can learn from baseball all year long. In fact, we talked about one here at the beginning of last year. Today, I want to talk about the rule of thirds.

For the creatives reading this blog, this is not the rule of thirds that applies to photography. Instead, this is a concept coined by Tommy Lasorda who is famous for serving two decades as manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers. He believed that no matter how good your baseball team is, you’re going to lose one-third of your games. No matter how bad your team is, you’re going to win one-third of your games. So it’s the other third that makes the difference.

In baseball, the teams that win the other third are the ones that make it to the playoffs. But these teams aren’t just lucky. They are strategic. They are hardworking. They have the right people in the right positions and painstakingly prepare for each of their opponents.

The rule of thirds is consistent. The worst team in baseball this year will probably win at least a third of their games. The best team will probably lose at least a third of their games. But those high-performing teams—teams that understand this principle—won’t allow one win or one loss to define their season. Each of us would benefit from taking this same approach and mentality to our everyday lives. It’s easy to fail or lose and think that we’re failures or losers.

This year, each baseball team will play 162 games. The greatest baseball teams will likely lose more than 50 times, but they won’t think of each loss in isolation. They will see those losses as part of the journey of their season. In the same way, we can’t dwell on our failures and miss the whole picture of our personal or professional growth.

On the other hand, this year, the worst teams will probably win at least 50 games. They say a broken clock is right twice a day! But if one of these teams treats one win like they’ve won the World Series, they will be laughed at. Securing one victory isn’t all that valuable if they can’t consistently replicate their success. In the same way, we can’t hang our hats on one success if we’re failing in other important areas.

If you own an ice cream store and haven’t sold any ice cream this week, you can’t celebrate when one person buys 6 scoops on Saturday. The rest of your week shows the true measure of your success.

If the majority of your customers love the services you provide, you can’t decide to close your business because one customer complained about a bad experience. This one customer’s experience does not negate your success thus far.

If one employee thinks that you are a poor leader, you can’t step down from your position because you’re no longer qualified. One employee’s opinion does not affect the overall success you’ve had as a leader and mentor to your other employees.

Resist the temptation to look at successes or failures in isolation.

The rule of thirds informs our personal and professional lives. Resist the temptation to look at successes or failures in isolation. Keep the proper perspective on your relationships, your sales, your customer satisfaction, and your company growth as a whole. Championships are won when you look at the aggregate; our businesses and lives are no different!

About a month ago, our ADDO team was on a company retreat, and in the midst of planning and socializing, there was a vigorous debate between a couple of our team members about a very important topic—the movie The Greatest Showman.

One passionate team member argued that it was the greatest movie of last year, maybe the best one ever, while the other argued that it might be the cheesiest movie ever made.

The debate sparked my curiosity, so my wife and I decided to see the movie a couple weeks ago. Now, in this post, I won’t try to settle their argument. I think they’re both right. Musicals are inherently cheesy and entertaining, and this one is no different. So rather than discuss the movie’s content, historical accuracy, or casting choices, I think there are three lessons that everyone can learn from it.

1. Entertainment that engages:

‍- P.T. Barnum assembles a group of misfits for his show, and it’s interesting that people from all walks of life come out to see it. His entertainers are not formally trained, and Barnum is certainly no expert in any genre of art. But he knows how to attract an audience and is anchoring his show on entertainment.

Walt Disney famously said, “I would rather entertain and hope that people learn something than educate people and hope they were entertained.” While the statement from Disney and Barnum’s show are both extreme, we can learn from this principle—if you don’t capture people’s attention, you’ll never have the opportunity to share with them. When it comes to our ideas, our products, our services, or our lessons, we must be engaging on the front end to earn the opportunity to share, equip, or sell on the back end.

2. The public vs. the critics:

‍- In The Greatest Showman, there’s friction between P.T. Barnum and a critic of his work. In one scene, the critic writes a scathing piece about Barnum’s show, calling it a “circus”. Instead of being discouraged by this designation, Barnum decides to own it. He changes his show’s name, and advertises the critic’s hit piece all over town. Walt Disney’s reaction to criticism was similar to Barnum’s. He once said, “We’re not trying to entertain the critics. I’ll take my chances with the public.” It’s a good reminder that if you try something different, there will be people that criticize you. When the criticism is constructive, we should heed it, but we should never be distracted from our work by the loud criticism of a small minority.

Remember, if you have critics, you’re doing something that’s worth remarking about.

3. Progress over comfort:

‍- In a pivotal scene, Barnum’s character, played by Hugh Jackman, tries to convince a potential business partner to join him. This character, played by Zac Efron, comes from a well-to-do family and would have to give up stability and status to join him. Barnum tells him that, “Comfort is the enemy of progress.” And he’s exactly right. The greatest inventions, companies, and people that have pushed the world forward were born from a place of discomfort.

"Comfort is the enemy of progress." - The Greatest Showman

None of us like being uncomfortable, but it’s often in seasons of discomfort that the greatest progress is made—in our personal development, in the products we make, and in the way we serve customers.

Regardless of your feelings toward P.T. Barnum as a person or The Greatest Showman as a movie, I hope you’ll take away these three important lessons: engage your audience, respond appropriately to criticism, and embrace the uncomfortable for the sake of progress.

The organizations and leaders I most admire practice and promote servant leadership, so it’s no surprise that this concept is one I discuss regularly at speaking engagements. In fact, servant leadership is a frequently-used term around the organization where I work. It feels like second nature to bring up this discipline to other executives and entrepreneurs, but the more I travel and speak to diverse groups of people, the more I realize that servant leadership is a foreign concept to so many.

To me, leadership and servant leadership are synonymous. It’s how leaders should lead. The term “servant leadership” was first coined by Robert Greenleaf in his 1970 essay “The Servant as Leader.” Although servant-leaders existed before this time, Greenleaf put language around the concept and outlined how the philosophy works. Greenleaf explains, “The servant-leader is servant first… It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead.” He recognized that the best leaders are servants first, and he wanted to encourage other people to lead out of a desire to meet the needs of others. The Robert K. Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership expands this concept with its definition for servant-leader:

A servant-leader focuses primarily on the growth and well-being of people and the communities to which they belong. While traditional leadership generally involves the accumulation and exercise of power by one at the “top of the pyramid,” servant leadership is different. The servant-leader shares power, puts the needs of others first and helps people develop and perform as highly as possible.

Servant leadership is others-centered. It’s a commitment to working to see others grow. It’s a desire to meet their needs. It’s choosing to value other people above your time, your status, and your income. It’s certainly not glamorous or easy, but it’s significant.

Servant-leadership is others-centered. It’s certainly not glamorous or easy, but it’s significant.

Consider the icons of servant leadership: Jesus, Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., and Mother Teresa. Regardless of your religion or ideology, we can all agree that these people made a lasting impact on the world because they fought to meet the needs of others.

However, when we look at the lives of these leaders, we should note that they weren’t always comfortable or easy. Three of their lives ended with them dying for their beliefs, and the other passed away in poverty!

Should that deter us from being servant leaders? Absolutely not. Servant leadership, if pursued wholeheartedly, leaves a lasting impact, but comes at a cost. Serving another person means that you deny something of yourself—whether it be your time, money, or energy—to give to them.

However, the reward of seeing people grow and thrive under your leadership is always worth it. Be a servant leader in your workplace, in your home, in your church, and in all your spheres of influence. Your work will be challenging, but you’ll pursue the most fulfilling and effective form of leadership.

How are things going?

‍We’re asked this question a lot, aren’t we? How are things going at work? At school? At church? At home? “I’m crazy busy right now.” I find myself falling into the trap of giving that answer far too often. It’s not a great answer. In fact, it’s actually a pretty prideful response. It’s true; I am busy. But that’s not all that I’m saying. Busy can be a code word for success.

Do you ever use the “busy” response as a way to show that you’re “in demand” or really “making things happen”?

We get it. The business is doing really well. Your phone is ringing off the hook with new clients. The line is out the door at your restaurant. Your services are in demand. You have a lot of new people coming to your church. The nonprofit is throwing bigger events and raising more money. In the US, we’ve turned busyness into a status symbol and a means to prove our worth to other people. Make no mistake, being busy isn’t always a bad thing. If the things we do help us grow, busyness can be a great thing.

But if being busy is becoming our measure of success, let’s make sure we aren’t missing the mark of what really matters. As we dive into 2018, let’s ask this question: “Am I getting better, or am I just getting busier?”

Are we improving the way we serve customers, or are we only putting more pressure on our team members with no true return on investment?

Are we creating the best possible product for our market, or are we wasting time creating too many new products just to say we have them?

Am I filling up my work calendar efficiently, or is my calendar being driven by things that don’t provide long-lasting value?

Is my family participating in intentional activities that bring us closer together, or are we running in so many directions we don’t ever see each other?

Are you volunteering at the nonprofit because you’re passionate about meeting the needs of others, or are you filling up your calendar to get some “service hours” and feel like you did something “good”?

Take an audit of your commitments so far this year. Pinpoint the things you need to take off your plate, and make room for opportunities to grow this year.

Being busy isn’t always a bad thing, but being busier doesn’t always mean you’re getting better.

What we get credit for in life is not necessarily the most important thing we do.

At ADDO, we have a team that works tirelessly to serve our clients and customers with excellence. They spend countless hours sending emails, analyzing progress, negotiating agreements, and editing content to make sure we deliver the best service and products possible. Our customers appreciate the work we do. However, if they don’t feel important to us, they quickly become frustrated. Let me explain—when we’re busy doing important work on meaningful projects, it’s easy to justify waiting a little longer to respond to a client's email, letting a call roll to voicemail, or forgetting to reach out to keep the customer updated on the progress of their project.

The challenge is that the customer doesn’t see, well, what they don’t see. Make sense? Our clients and customers care about what we deliver, but they care even more that we communicate well when they need us.

At ADDO, I believe that what we’re doing behind the scenes is important. It’s the unglamorous work of long hours spent planning, creating, and delivering programs that builds up leaders. But what we get credit for is the most important thing to the person who is giving the credit. Therefore, excellent customer service and client-facing communication is essential to maintaining the opportunity to do the work we do.

Think about how this concept applies to other organizations.

An associate pastor doesn’t get credit for the hours of administrative work he does throughout the week, but he does get credit for how he responds to a church member that comes to him with a need. In a retail environment, the customer doesn’t give a team member credit for the effort they put into designing and building a new display, but they do give them credit for finding the right product when asked for help and doing it with a smile.

The director of a nonprofit doesn’t get credit for the time invested in planning a successful fundraiser, but they do get credit for how promptly they respond to the email of an important donor.

The teacher doesn’t get credit for the hours she puts into lesson planning and classroom instruction, but she does get credit for how quickly she responds to a parent’s inquiry about their child’s progress.

The doctor’s office doesn’t get credit for filing the insurance paperwork correctly the majority of the time, but they do get credit (or criticism) for how promptly they solve a billing dispute or deliver an important test result to an anxious patient. Again, the things we get credit for may not be the most important part of our jobs. However, if we don’t make our customers and clients feel valued, we may lose the opportunity to do the work we love.

If we don’t make our customers and clients feel valued, we may lose the opportunity to do the work we love.

In a way, our clients hold our jobs in their hands. Even if you’re “the boss,” you ultimately work for the people who purchase your products and services. Without them, our organizations would not exist. We should become obsessed with taking great care of our customers in a way that makes them feel important to us—because they are! Don’t neglect the important work of communicating promptly and intentionally with your customers. Investing in those relationships now will impact your company’s success in the future.

In every area of life, people are looking for a system to make their lives easier, simpler, or more efficient.

That’s why we click on the article that gives us the five steps to becoming a better public speaker, the fool-proof process to leading an effective meeting, the formula for engaging our team members, the guide to creating the best company culture, the program to grow our church more quickly, or the method for making our children obey. We want the systematic solution to simplify our messy lives, and it’s for a good reason.

Systems are helpful. We learn from them. They give us a methodology to think through and are often a great place to start. But here’s my concern—sometimes systems suppress our natural style. When I say style, I’m not talking about our outward appearances, but our natural giftings—the way God has wired us.

To put it bluntly, I am tired of meeting pastors that try to preach exactly like Andy Stanley. They study every tactic he uses, mimic his style, and sometimes, steal his sermon content. It’s not to say we can’t learn from Andy, but many pastors have traded in their personal gift of teaching to rip-off a less impactful version of someone else. Andy is great, but we already have an Andy—try being you.

Business leaders do this too. There are executives trying to emulate every practice of Steve Jobs or Jack Welch, and when something doesn’t work for them, they fall back on the excuse that it’s “what Steve Jobs always did.” Instead of creating a culture that fits their individual organization, some companies actually copy and paste their corporate handbooks directly from Google or Zappos. Are you kidding me?

The world needs you to be you. If someone else’s system can make you better, then, by all means, learn from it. But if you’re trying so hard to mimic someone else that you become a cheapened version of them, don’t waste your time. That person, or organization, already exists, and we don't need another one. Instead, we desperately need you to be you.

In this new year, study systems, implement processes, and learn from others, but don’t lose yourself in the process.

The best version of you is better that a B-rated version of someone else.

It’s hard to deny the invisible power of momentum. Have you watched a sporting event lately? In almost every game, there is a defining moment for the winning team. They block the kick. They make the three-point shot before the half. They hit the grand slam and score four runs at once. And after that moment, it feels like everything else goes their way.

Isn’t the same true in our personal and professional lives? Winning fuels our confidence and helps us succeed in other areas. Victory begets victory. A retired marine used these three words to explain to me that a small win on the battlefield serves as a catalyst to fuel the momentum necessary to win many more victories.

The point of this post is not to say that winning is the only way to learn, grow, and succeed. As I look back on this last year and look forward to the next, there are many lessons learned from areas in which I’ve failed. Our company, ADDO, creates leadership programs for companies and organizations. When we develop programs for students or young professionals, we engineer opportunities for students to overcome obstacles and be forced to persevere. I am a firm believer that failure is a great teacher.

However, when we focus on failure, we sometimes forget to find areas where we’re seeing success. In many ways, winning creates a chain reaction that leads to more victories, and in turn, fuels the momentum that propels us (and the people we lead) to even greater success. Victory begets victory.

Victory begets victory.

As we come to the start of a new year, I want to encourage you to find opportunities to experience victory. Look for the “wins” in both your personal and professional life. Find an opportunity where you see success, even in the smallest areas. And build off those small victories to fuel future success.

Try this—instead of setting unrealistic resolutions and unsustainable goals, create small goals you know you can achieve. Then, leverage success in those areas to create momentum to move on to bigger challenges.

Instead of trying to read a book a week this year, set the goal of reading a book a month. Finish the book early? Go ahead and start another.

As you seek to live a healthier lifestyle, set the goal of jogging a few days a week before you sign up for the marathon.

When you meet with your team in January, celebrate a victory from this last year, and use this as a rallying point before you embark on your next project.

At the start of the new semester, fuel momentum in your students by setting attainable goals for them at the beginning of this new grading period.

There’s something gratifying about reaching a goal. When we accomplish something, we feel better about ourselves and are inspired to tackle the next challenge. Find a way to apply this psychological principle and let it catapult you to even greater heights in the upcoming year.

Remember, victory begets victory.