Recently, I was listening to the radio and heard Casting Crowns' version of “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day.” Every year, this song makes me pause. It encapsulates how many of us feel about Christmastime.

‍I heard the bells on Christmas day

Their old familiar carols play

And mild and sweet their songs repeat

Of peace on earth, good will to men

‍There’s something familiar and nostalgic about Christmas carols. Even though our lives have changed, our families have evolved, and our homes look different, this tradition remains—we sing the same songs year after year. It’s easy to love them as the comfortable background noise of the season, but when you listen closely to the words, they can be discouraging. In fact, it’s easy to become cynical when we try to reconcile the words of these songs with the reality of our days.

‍And in despair I bowed my head

There is no peace on earth I said

For hate is strong and mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good will to men

‍Is this all a sham—not the reason for Christmas, but the reality of the season? I’m sure we’ve all asked this question at one point or another. It seems like everyone chooses to be kind for a little while, but we know the truth. There’s war. There’s hate. There are acts of senseless violence. Children are sick. Families are hungry. People are dying. And we’re still singing, “Peace on earth, and good will toward men?” We’re saying and singing one thing, while our present reality looks much different.

I love how the song continues...Then rang the bells more loud and deep

God is not dead, nor does he sleep

The wrong shall fail, the right prevail

With peace on earth, good will to men

‍This is a reminder for me and for you. In the midst of all that’s wrong in this world, the truth of Christmas still rings out.

This is still a season about the birth of Jesus, a God who loves us, and the fact that He is still in control of the universe.

This doesn’t mean there’s no chaos. We still sing songs that say “peace on earth” in the midst of war and strife. But does that make what we sing untrue? No, because the peace we talk about has come, is here, and is coming. The peace we talk about is in God’s Son, Jesus Christ. He came so that we can celebrate peace on earth and good will toward men, both in this life and the next.

Throughout high school and college, I spent seven holiday seasons working in a retail environment. I worked shifts at the mall on crowded Black Fridays, picked up extended hours, and constantly added items to already overstocked shelves. I embraced, and actually enjoyed, the chaos that comes with the Christmas shopping season.

Now, this season looks much different than it did when I worked retail, and it fascinates me that our culture and economy has shifted in such a short period of time. Recently, Seth Godin wrote a blog called The Last Black Friday. In it, he explains that as more people buy from the internet, Black Friday seems to get smaller. There are still people who will rush to stores early Friday morning to get a great deal, but this number decreases each year. The way people buy their gifts is changing, but the fact that people are buying a lot of stuff hasn’t changed.

This year, about 174 million Americans bought gifts in stores and online during the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. That’s 10 million more people than were estimated to participate earlier this year.

About 54 percent of buyers plan to spend the same amount of money they did last year, while 24 percent plan to spend more. Among those 18-24 years old, 46 percent plan to spend more than last year.

It’s estimated that Americans will spend about $682 billion on retail items alone this holiday season (statistics from the National Retail Federation).

The world is changing, and the way that people buy goods is shifting. But the one thing that hasn’t changed is that Christmas costs, and it costs a lot. So in this season when our personal budgets are stretched and our bank accounts are strained, I hope we step back and remember the part of Christmas that cost the most. In the midst of the decorations, the Santa Claus visits, and the stressful work parties, I hope you’ll pause to reflect on the real reason we celebrate—God became flesh. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son”—the most valuable gift this world has ever seen (John 3:16, ESV). Jesus was born in a manger in Bethlehem and dwelt among us.

Even today, the highest cost of Christmas is the gift given back in Bethlehem more than 2,000 years ago.

So when you’re at the mall shopping for a gift, checking out on Amazon, or looking at your bank statement this year, let’s stop to think about how much Christmas really did cost and why we celebrate it.

For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given;

and the government shall be upon his shoulder,

and his name shall be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. - Isaiah 9:6

Two weeks ago, I didn’t want to come into work on Monday morning. One of my best friends passed away the day before, so there were a lot of other things on my mind. What I really wanted to do that morning was “call in sick” or tell them my tire was flat. It really didn’t matter what the excuse was; I just didn’t feel like being there.

However, that day was a particularly important one for our organization—five new people were joining our team. We wanted their first day to be memorable, impactful, and intentional. As a co-founder and key leader, I needed to be engaged and present. I didn’t have the luxury of calling in sick or taking the day off on this crucial day for our company.

This reminded me of the fact that leadership has been put on a pedestal. Everyone thinks they want to lead. Everyone wants the influence, and even the responsibility, but not everyone is willing to pay the price of leadership. When we lead, our decisions, our presence, and our example matter more. In fact, the greater our influence, the more limited our options become. Leadership is like love; once we’re committed, we don’t get to choose when we want to do it. When I married my wife, I made a commitment to love her for the rest of our days. I don’t get to take a break on the days I don’t feel like loving her.

Leadership is like love; once we’re committed, we don’t get to choose when we want to do it.

The same is true in life and leadership. The higher the level of leadership, the fewer options you have. Think about it. When you become a manager at a retail store, you have the opportunity to grow leaders and take on more complex tasks, but you have to be available to solve problems whenever the store is open (even on your days off). When you become a parent, you gain the blessings of influence and responsibility that come with raising a child, but it’s also much more difficult to travel, to make last minute plans, and to do some other things you want to do.

Let me pause for a second to say that leadership is a great thing. I’m passionate about encouraging leaders in all phases and stages of life. However, we must remember that leadership comes with a cost, and the most effective leaders understand and embrace this fact for the good of the people they lead.

When God puts people in positions of leadership and situational influence, it comes with a great weight of responsibility. That’s why we’re given this word of caution: “Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness” (James 3:1, ESV). Teachers, leaders, and anyone in a position of influence must be present to guide and influence the people in their care, especially in challenging circumstances.

We don’t get to pick and choose when we lead. Even when I’m out of the office, I am still leading.

When someone in your small group is having a crisis, you, as the leader, have to be there.

When a team member is sick and can’t open the store, you, as the manager, have to go into work on your day off.

When your babysitter cancels, you, as the parent, have to stay home and miss a night out with friends.

When church members are frustrated about something that seems trivial, you, as the pastor, have to address it.

When a crisis happens at work when you’re on vacation, you, as the leader, still have the obligation.

This isn’t about being a workaholic or never having a day off, it’s just a reminder that your role doesn’t stop when you leave or when you don’t feel like doing it. Leadership is important, but it’s not all glamorous. Once you’re committed to lead, you don’t have a choice of when you do it or not. So if you’re considering a leadership position, understand the cost. For those of us called to lead, the price is always worth it.

A couple of weeks ago, my wife came to me and wanted to discuss an area of our lives she thought we needed to change.

Laura recently talked to some friends about the practices they put in place to limit their attachment to their phones, and she thought we would benefit from one of them. We have gotten into a routine where the last thing we do at night and the first thing we do in the morning is look at our phones, so she suggested we find a way to kick this habit.

Honestly, I didn’t see this as a problem for me, but since it was important to my wife, I decided to give it a try.

We made the commitment, bought an old-fashioned alarm clock, and decided to stop looking at our phones for the last hour before we went to sleep and for the time it takes us to complete our morning routines before we leave the house. No major changes throughout the day, just putting the phone down a little earlier and waiting a little longer to pick it up in the morning.

Sounds easy enough, right?

But this has been one of the hardest things I’ve done in a long time.

When I’m lying in bed awake, I want to grab my phone to send that one last email. I need to check my Instagram one more time. I really just want to look at the latest analysis for the most recent college football rankings. In the moments that I’m trying so hard not to get up and grab my phone, I’m realizing how deep this habit truly runs. In some strange way, I feel like a drug user who so desperately needs a fix, but my drug is an addiction to a piece of technology.

I know this blog might sound like another criticism of smartphones, but it’s not. It’s about how habits influence our daily lives.

“The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.” - Samuel Johnson

Habits can be good things or bad things, but we often don’t realize we’ve formed a habit until it feels impossible to break. When we try to form positive habits like exercising or eating healthier or committing to read more often, these things don’t come naturally. We have to intentionally decide to work at them to form healthy habits, so down the road, the good practices are the ones that feel like second nature.

Unfortunately, negative habits are much easier to form. We often don’t realize that we’ve formed habits like hitting the fast food drive-thru for dinner a few days a week, watching Netflix for a few hours after work every day, or scrolling through Instagram every time we have a break. These habits don’t require any conscious effort to form, so they require some focused work to break.

I don’t think that a smartphone is always a harmful piece of technology. However, when I realized that constantly interacting with my smartphone became an unhealthy distraction at the beginning and end of each day, I needed to make a change.

Are there other, seemingly harmless habits that you’ve slipped into? These aren’t always overtly negative things, but they shape your daily life.

On the flip side, are there positive habits and disciplines you need to pursue? Perhaps there’s a way to kick a negative habit by working at a positive one.

Consider your habits this week. It’s important to evaluate the things we do each day to determine how our habits influence our personal and professional lives. Our healthy and harmful habits can impact the people closest to us. So let’s work to kick the habits holding us back, and pursue others who can make us better.

Recently, I had a conversation with my friend Ike Reighard about what it takes to create a great place to work. Ike is a pastor and the CEO of MUST Ministries, but a number of years ago he was the Chief People Officer of a large financial organization.

He explained that as a company they spent a lot time studying what makes an organization a great place to work, so it’s no surprise that this company made Fortune Magazine’s “100 Best Places to Work” multiple years in a row.

One concept he mentioned was particularly fascinating to me. As they studied their corporate culture, they realized that people were most dissatisfied with their jobs when they felt like they were missing out on other important things. Employees saved their personal-leave days for big life events each year, but they felt like they didn’t have the freedom and flexibility to be there for the people who are important to them.

They wanted to be at their daughter’s ballet recital. They needed to visit their mom more during her extended stay in the hospital. They wished they could go to their child’s Thanksgiving parade at school. They wanted to be at their friend’s retirement luncheon.

They wanted to be there for some of those smaller things that mean so much to them and the people they love. So, this company created something called “Being There” time. Instead of asking their employees to pull from personal-leave or vacation time, they gave them a bank of hours to use for the important, everyday moments where presence is everything.

I know what you’re thinking, “This sounds great, but how does this apply to me?”

First, if you’re in a position where you can create time for other people to be there, do it. Not only will they be better spouses, parents, and friends, but they’ll also be happier at work and more loyal to you as an employer because of your generosity and care for them.

Now, for most of us, the power to give and create “Being There” time for others isn’t something that’s within our control, and that’s OK. What we can do is focus on doing our best to be there for the people we love. I struggle with this. Life feels full, and it’s tough to justify walking away from a hectic pace to be present with other people.

This challenge is as much for me as it is for you. In whatever stage of life you find yourself, fight to prioritize the time you need to be there. We always find ways to get off work for the big things in life, but we often forget that it’s the little things that are often the most important.

We can’t be at everything for everyone, but we should prioritize being present as often as we can.

Maybe it’s skipping your hunting weekend to be at your son’s Friday night football game.

Maybe it’s taking your lunch break to catch the end of your daughter’s school program.

Maybe it’s trading in a personal day to celebrate your spouse’s recent promotion.

Maybe it’s staying a few extra hours at work tonight, so tomorrow morning, you can take breakfast to your grandmother who’s in the hospital.

‍Being there isn’t always easy, and sometimes, it’s not even possible, but prioritizing time to be present is crucial to protecting your most important relationships. Find ways to be there for the people you love, and if you’re able, create opportunities for other people to do the same.

We all have different feelings about Thanksgiving.

For some of you, Thanksgiving means you’re going home, and home is a good thing. You’ve moved away from your family, and you’re thankful for this opportunity to spend time with them.

For others, Thanksgiving means you’re going home, and home is a sad thing. You’ve tried to escape your family, and now, you’re forced to confront the frustrations that come with being with them for an extended period of time.

For some of you, Thanksgiving is a welcomed break from work before the craziness of the holiday season starts.

For others, it’s the official beginning of your busiest season of work, and you dread working overtime, dealing with rude customers, and constantly restocking items for people to consume.

For some of you, this is your first Thanksgiving with a new spouse or a new baby. Your family is growing, and it’s an opportunity to start new traditions and be thankful for the gifts you’ve been given.

For others, Thanksgiving is the stark reminder that you’re still single or that you don’t have a child in your arms. It’s a reminder of the things you don’t have that you’ve hoped for and prayed for your entire life.

For some of you, Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful for your friend or family member who is coming home after serving in the military overseas.

For others, Thanksgiving reminds you how much you miss the one you’ve lost. The empty seat at the table is a harsh reminder of the space that person used to fill.

Regardless of what emotions move into our hearts and minds as we approach Thanksgiving, I wonder what it would be like if we approached this Thanksgiving like it was our last.

Even though that one relative drives you crazy, this might be the last Thanksgiving before they receive a life-altering diagnosis. If you knew this was the last Thanksgiving you were working in a retail environment, how would you approach this one differently?

Even though you’re ready to have someone by your side, this might be your last Thanksgiving with the freedom of a single person. How would you spend your time differently?

Even though you’re exhausted after Thanksgiving with small children—fixing plates, wiping messy faces, and skipping naptimes—one day, your kids will be grown, and things will look different. How can you enjoy this Thanksgiving in the midst of the chaos?

I am not naive enough to pretend that Thanksgiving, or the holiday season, is an enjoyable time for everybody, but if we knew it was our last time with someone or that Thanksgiving would look different next year, would we stop and be a little more thankful?

If we knew that Thanksgiving would look different next year, would we stop and be a little more thankful?

My hope for me, and for you, is that we’ll look at this holiday a little differently and stop to be thankful. You never know when it might be the last time.

‍“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” - I Thessalonians 5:18, ESV  

Today, we live in a society that seems fixated on the latest and greatest. Our culture is consumed by each new trend and often forgets to place proper value on things that stand the test of time. I appreciate these lyrics from the song “Built to Last” by Heartland:

‍Here's to the makers of things built to last, like church bells and bridges, and baseball on grass, like Ferguson tractors and Lucchese boots, my daddy's old tools I still use, the pledge of allegiance, the stars and the stripes, the words in the Bible, the sun in the sky, and here's to the twinkle in old married eyes, still there after fifty years past.

Here's to the makers of things built to last.

‍There’s great value in both material things and relationships that will stand the test of time, but committing to a passion or calling can also leave a lasting impact on the world. I love learning from my good friend Justin Miller, who recently wrote a guest blog on this site.

Earlier this year, I asked Justin what he’d been learning, and he talked about his commitment to CARE for AIDS and the concept of a “long obedience in the same direction”—an idea Eugene Peterson discusses in his book.

The basic principle is this: The people who change the world are the ones who answer and work at their calling for a long period of time.

As I listened to Justin talk about this concept and his decision to pour himself into his nonprofit organization, I became aware of something I’ve undervalued for most of my life. In the past, I’ve been most intrigued by the people doing something new, creating an exciting new company, or working toward some bold new initiative. Today, I still admire these people doing new things, but the older I get, the more I’m impressed by the people who have been working at the same thing for a long time.

Fleeting fads, a little more money, or the promise of fame haven’t distracted these people from pursuing their passion and calling. The fruit of their labor has made, and is still making, a lasting impact on the world. Justin Miller started CARE for AIDS in college. We all know of organizations that began with a young person fired up to change the world, but most fade away after students move on and pursue other things. But CARE for AIDS just celebrated its ten year anniversary, and Justin is still leading the organization and is committed to the cause of “empowering people to live a life beyond AIDS.”

Commitments aren’t always limited to one person’s calling or career. Relationships require a long obedience in the same direction to be fruitful and successful. My parents have been married for 37 years and counting. On their wedding day, they committed to love one another through all of the highs and lows of life and now experience an even deeper love for one another than they did on that special day.

And speaking of lifelong commitments, today is Billy Graham’s 99th birthday. Billy Graham is one of my personal heroes.

He’s stayed committed to his call to ministry, and his life and legacy devoted to preaching the gospel have permanently changed the world.

So today, I’d like to just stop and recognize those people who are staying committed. My personality is wired to be energized by the next, new thing, but I’m realizing the true value in devoting yourself to something for life. Whether you are a committed volunteer at a local homeless shelter or an employee has faithfully worked at one company for decades, your efforts are making an impact. You show people the quality of your character with your commitment and consistency, and you are more likely to build something that lasts. We have a great deal to learn from you and want to thank you for the work you do.

We celebrate the biggest milestones of a person’s life and career, but staying committed day after day is an accomplishment, in and of itself. If you know someone who has been serving in your church, working in your organization, or volunteering in your community for a long time, tell them thank you. Take the time today to honor their long obedience in the same direction.

Leaders today spend a lot of time working to understand and learn from failure. We talk a great deal about learning from our mistakes and come to some familiar conclusions. We often learn the most from our failures. Failures are not final or fatal. When you fail, that’s how you learn. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

I agree. We can learn great lessons from failure. But I wonder if sometimes we put so much emphasis on failure that we forget to study success.

Sometimes, we put so much emphasis on failure that we forget to study success.

Have you ever done something well, but when asked how you were successful, you didn’t know?

If you don’t know why something is going well when it’s going well, you won’t know how to fix it if it breaks.

In our organization, our failures have been great catalysts to help us learn and grow. We look for things that are broken and try improve areas of weakness. Recently, however, we’ve started working to pinpoint and learn from the things we’re doing well.

Every year, we survey and analyze our customer satisfaction. In one program in particular, we had experienced a drop in satisfaction from 2015 to 2016. Our team identified problems, created a plan, and made conscious decisions to get better. As a result, in 2017, the satisfaction of our customers increased by 20%!

It was a great accomplishment to recover from the deficit and improve even more. Of those customers surveyed this year, 90% were either satisfied or very satisfied with our work. But, it was not enough to know that we improved; we needed to figure out exactly why we improved. Instead of moving on to another area, our team spent time and energy studying what specifically led to this increase in satisfaction. We understand that if we can clearly identify which decisions, actions, and behaviors are driving positive results, then we have a greater chance to replicate them in the future or course-correct if things go wrong.

In what areas of your life, personally and professionally, can you study and replicate success?

How did you attract the individuals who are now your most valuable team members and employees?

What kinds of environments foster intentional family discussion?

What did you do differently that helped you make the sale with the stubborn client?

How did you motivate your volunteers to stay late and pack more meals for your community?

How do you facilitate your most productive meetings?

What do you do to maintain your closest friendships?

When you are successful, evaluate your actions. Think about what you’re doing differently when you succeed instead of fixating on why or how you’ve failed. Determine the actions and decisions that lead to positive outcomes, and replicate them in all areas of your life. You’ll find that you can solve problems more widely and efficiently and pursue a lifestyle that is proactive toward success rather than reactive to failure.

A few weeks ago, I ran into a senior leader of a large organization, and he was telling me about the current state of their business. One of the things he mentioned was the overarching emphasis on change. He shared that every conversation within their organization centered around how the world is changing, how technology is evolving rapidly, and how the next generation of employees are different. He agreed that the world is, indeed, changing quickly, and I feel the same way. In every kind of organization and industry today, we’re are confronted by change.

Technology companies are scrambling to push out new projects, so they won’t be irrelevant.

Churches are changing their service styles and programs to attract and retain a younger audience.

Nonprofit organizations are developing new strategies to find and cultivate young donors.

Marketing teams are constantly rebranding their organizations to stay ahead of the trends of our shifting culture.

Businesses of all sizes are adjusting policies to attract a new generation of workers.

Change is coming, and it is coming quickly. The question for you and me is: how will we respond? Will we respond with such a large focus on change that we forget to ensure that the changes we are making are positive ones?

In response to the conversation at their company, this senior leader encouraged his colleagues to think about change differently. He told them, “We keep talking about change, but we really need to be talking about progress. We must remember that all progress is change, but not all change is progress.”

We must remember that all progress is change, but not all change is progress.

Wow. How true is that?

Yes, the world is changing quickly, and to remain competitive, you must adapt. But be careful to audit the changes you’re making.

Change is not a bad thing, but we also shouldn’t slip into the thinking that any change is good. We need a relentless focus on the types of change that make us better, not just the types of change that make us different.

Politicians are often elected on a platform of change, and then deliver change that isn’t always helpful to their constituents. Don’t fall into the trap of only focusing on change. Focus on progress. When you do, you’ll incite meaningful change that benefits people and promotes innovation in a changing world.