I’ve published this blog every single Tuesday since September of 2016. This is the first time that it’s fallen on my birthday.

Today we are going to switch it up. I’ve compiled a list of 38 thoughts --- principles, sayings, truths, and quotes. I have a short attention span, so 38 is a lot. I hope you’ll take the time to read them, and more importantly, take a couple of them and apply them to your life.

1. There is no better way to see the world changed than to be a part of changing the world. Get off the sidelines and do something.

2. If you want big results, set big goals. It's not easy, but it is simple.

3. Obedience is more important than feelings. Ike Reighard says, “The great doors of opportunity swing on little bitty hinges called obedience.”

4. It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

5. Conformity: Doing what everyone else is regardless of what is right. Morality: Doing what is right regardless of what everyone else is doing.

6. The most important things in life aren't things.

7. Paulus Wiratno says, “Compassion means you are willing to be disturbed.”

8. Excellence is always in demand.

9. If you have a pulse, you have a purpose.

10. God has given you resources, not to increase your standard of living, but your standard of giving.

11. The best way to know God is to spend time with Him.

12. The most dangerous risk of all: the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy the freedom to do it later.

13. "Fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life." – Donald Miller

14. If you want to change the world, you have to break the rules. Remember, Orville Wright never had a pilot's license.

15. In order to make a difference you have to be different.

16. When my favorite teams lose, it shouldn’t affect my entire weekend. I still love sports, but it’s just not that important.

17. My kids are growing up fast. I need to enjoy each season. Yes, even the hard, frustrating, exhausting ones.

18. Don’t be afraid to like what you like.

19. Take the trip.

20. Find what’s important and where you add the most value. That’s where to focus.

21. There is no such thing as work-life balance. You may not always get to do what you love, but you can learn to love what you do.

22. You can love the past without living in it.

23. Loyalty to those you love is good in the good times, but essential in the tough times.

24. Just because you have the right to do something does not make it right!

25. When you lower standards people don't decide to give you more, they give you less.

26. My dad always said: If you’re going to be stupid, you’ve got to be tough.

27. Choosing your friends is choosing your future. "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." - Proverbs 27:17

28. Ignore the boos, they usually come from the cheapest seats.

29. Don’t worry about the critics. It’s better to take your chances with the public.

30. "People will always try to stop you from doing the right thing if it is unconventional.” - Warren Buffett

31. “Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter.” - Francis Chan

32. “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” - Corrie ten Boom

33. Find ways to make memories and visit them often. Cesare Pavese says, "We do not remember days, we remember moments.”

34. You can't change that which you tolerate.

35. Stop chasing the next thing. The next paycheck, the next client, the next book, the next country, the next house. Too much focus on what’s next makes you wish your life away.

36. Most of your big achievements aren’t nearly as satisfying as you hoped they would be.

37. Success is not measured in the money you make or the recognition you receive, but more so in the lives you touch and the impact you have.

38. My favorite Zig Ziglar quote, “The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now.”

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I’m thankful for each of you in my life. Many of you who receive this list are friends, fellow church members, colleagues, and other incredible people I’ve met along the way.

And, if you feel so inclined to want to get me something for my birthday, please consider making a donation to Untold, an organization I truly believe in.

After work.

After taking the kids to swim lessons.

After trying to get dinner ready.

(My wife is a hero and typically does a lot, if not most of this. But she had to work late tonight.)

Are you ever exhausted at the end of the day? Especially after a Monday?

A typical Monday goes like this:

Alarm goes off.

Jump in the shower,

Grab a quick breakfast (probably don’t have time).

Hop in the car,

Leaving 15 minutes early to get to work and prep for my first meeting.

Accident on the interstate,

All lanes are shut down—Go from 15 minutes early to 20 minutes late.

Late to the first meeting,

Try to wrap early, but still late to the second meeting.

Now heading to lunch.

Check in on projects.

Wrap up work day.

Options in front of me:

I could go work out or

Go home and hang out with my family.

I really need to work out;

I’m definitely out of shape.

But I really need to get home to my family.

I skip the workout, head home, and walk in the door.

This is the moment I need to be fully present for my family, but often I’m not. I’m distracted, thinking of the twists and turns of the day’s events, and it’s difficult for me to give my wife and children my best, my undivided attention.

Did you know that the Jewish day starts in the evening? Their days begin at sundown when their work is finished. That concept is an interesting shift from my typical perspective. Often at the end of the day, one where I’ve been pulled in a million different directions, I’m just trying to power through this time—to just make it to bed.

If we embraced this practice, imagine how this would change these hours for us.

How much more do I have to offer at the beginning of the day than at the end?

I want to live and lead in a way that I offer my best to the people who need it the most. I don’t want to run out of steam before I get to the most important part of my day.

I’m from the south, so this is a good illustration for me: Imagine going through the buffet line, and you see there’s one last bit of macaroni and cheese in the edge of the pan. Do you want to take the last, cold, crusty scoop? Or do you want to wait for them to bring out the fresh pan of hot, bubbly macaroni and cheese? I know where I stand. I’m holding up that buffet line to wait on the good stuff!

I don’t want my family to get the last little bit—the leftovers. I want there to be an abundance, so I can give them the best, not just what’s left.

In my current stage of life, I need to focus on my family. However, if you’re reading this, I’d challenge you to think about who needs to receive your best but often just gets what’s left. For you, it might not be the time at home in the evening; it might be the big meeting that you need to be fully engaged in but you’re not. Maybe it’s the Sunday School lesson you need to prepare that’s been pushed to the back-burner. Maybe it’s a phone call that you need to make to your friend that’s struggling, but you squeeze the call in during a quick commute when you’re partially distracted.

Take some time to think about this question:

What is the part of my day that most needs my time, energy, and effort, and how do I allocate my energy accordingly?

This week let’s make every effort to give our best, not what’s left, to the people most important to us.

I’m always impressed by Logan’s intentionality and creativity he brings to a project. Back when he was in college, he rolled out a new visual identity standard for ADDO. (That’s a fancy way to say he helped us with our logos, colors, and how we use them.) It’s been a couple of years since his presentation, but I vividly remember him including this quote by Pablo Picasso,

“Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.”

‍For someone like me who doesn’t feel cultured in the arts, quoting Picasso might not usually grab my attention, but I loved this quote. It cuts to the core of what I believe about life. If we understand the rules, veering from them can be a strategic decision to move toward something unique. I’m not just talking about a mistake that ends up turning out OK; I’m proposing an intentional deviation.

This quote reminded me that the people moving the world forward are not always the rule-followers, but they aren’t necessarily the consistent rule-breakers—they are the ones who know when to color inside the lines and when to break free. It’s important to know the rules, and it’s also important to know when to break them.

There’s an interesting article by Dr. Adam Grant about straight-A students. The premise is that students with perfect GPAs are more likely to fall into a system rather than take a risk on a creative opportunity. That’s why many of the world’s most influential individuals didn’t graduate with outstanding grades.

In this article, Grant gives some significant examples: “This might explain why Steve Jobs finished high school with a 2.65 G.P.A., J.K. Rowling graduated from the University of Exeter with roughly a C average, and the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. got only one A in his four years at Morehouse” (The New York Times).

Following the rules isn’t wrong, but if you’re locked into a system, you probably won’t push things forward. Your perfection won’t allow you to move from good to great.

If you’re like me and lean toward breaking the rules, make sure to channel this energy appropriately. It’s important to remember your boundaries. Listen to the rule-followers, but make intentional, measured decisions when it’s time to buck the system.

If you’re a rule-follower, I want to challenge you to occasionally break free of the system. For you, this might mean helping the rule-breaker break the right rules at the right time and earning the opportunity to be a part of something truly extraordinary.

The rules are there for a reason. But you are here for a reason too. Make decisions that show you understand both.

While I wouldn’t want to live there, it’s one of my favorite places to visit. The excitement of the energy is electric.

Being back in the city reminded me of a Tom Rinaldi book, The Red Bandana. In the book, Rinaldi tells the story of Welles Crowther, an equities trader who was working in the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. Crowther’s heroic actions saved at least twelve people in the World Trade Center that day. Although his body wasn’t identified until months later, Crowther’s family knew what he had done because multiple survivors of the attack had identified him as the hero covering his mouth and nose with a red bandana.

Rinaldi’s telling of Crowther’s story moved me, but one specific part of this book captured my attention and challenged me to consider my dreams.

It was Crowther’s dream to be a firefighter. Although he pursued a career as an equities trader after college, Crowther was not completely fulfilled in his work. In the summer of 2001, he decided that he would begin the journey and pursue his dream of becoming a firefighter, dedicating the rest of his life to saving lives. He made this decision just months before the attacks on the World Trade Center, and even though he didn’t become a firefighter, he did dedicate the final moments of his life to saving the people around him. Rinaldi uses Crowther’s decision to pursue his dream to challenge his readers to consider our own dreams.

Rinaldi writes:

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‍“When did you stop? When did you put the hope away, shifting it from something real to something… lesser? When did the dream leave you as an aspiration and float off into the province of the never-to-be?

Probably, never crept up gradually. No sudden awakening in a cold sweat, no precise moment of terrible clarity. There is often no sharp edge to surrender, no bright line between chasing and letting go of the dream of what our lives could become before we get caught in the gears of daily living, the hundreds and thousands of tiny compromises that move us through the day. The lock doesn’t stop to make the time between the last through when your goal was still calling to you and the next, by which it had drifted past range, caught between radio stations like static, until the fade is complete. Silence.

It’s a creeping capitulation, the recognition of what we’re able to manage. That awareness comes in slow degrees, and at different times, in all our lives. It comes through the circumstances that shape us, the weather inside us, the failures that drag us below a line. You know the line—the one between what we want and what we accept.”

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‍What a great reminder for all of us! At what time in your life did you stop believing in what could be and settled for what is?  Is there something you have always wanted to do?

Remember: When we only listen to what’s practical instead of what’s possible, our dreams die.

‍Consider your dreams this week. Do you have dreams that you need to bring back to life? We don’t know how much time we have in this life, so you better start today.

At the end of the week, I spoke to a group of 30 high school students.

The stadium speech was a thrill, but something happened in the conversation with high school students that truly caused me to think.

At the end of my talk, one student asked me this question: What do I do when I feel less than other students who are achieving more than me?

The psychological term for that student’s question is called relative deprivation, and it’s something that affects students, adults, and every single person who has ever been on social media!

Personally, I didn’t struggle with this as much until I was an adult. I remember being a year or two out of college, and when I compared myself to my circle of friends, I thought I was doing well. Then, I visited a friend who was living in New York and worked in the finance industry. I quickly realized that if I were to compare myself to him, I’d be losing. My job was not nearly as prestigious, my clothes not nearly as nice, my home not nearly as impressive, and my life not nearly as exciting as his.

It was a fun visit to New York with friends, but I remember returning home and feeling inadequate.

Relative deprivation. Social scientists define this concept as “the discontent people feel when they compare their positions to others and realize that they have less of what they believe themselves to be entitled than those around them.”

Said another way:

Comparison is the thief of joy.

It happens when we see our neighbor pull up in a brand-new car and wonder if we’ll ever be able to afford a nicer vehicle.

It happens in the business world when we go to someone’s new office space and wonder why they have the clients and success we don’t have.

It happens when the pastor sees the church down the road that’s double the size of their tiny church building.

It happens when your coworker receives the promotion you think you deserve.

It happens when your friend’s child gets into their dream college while your child is struggling in school.

When we start comparing ourselves to one another, we start to feel less than, but here’s the truth: We were not created to have an equal amount of things.

This is a tough reality for some people to accept, but it’s a reality, nonetheless. We must fight the urge to compare and choose to focus on what we do have.

The inverse of this struggle is equally as dangerous. When we compare ourselves with others who have less than we do, we have a false feeling of superiority

Getting caught in the comparison game is a terrible trap that results in a self-image based on the people you encounter each day.

So, here’s our challenge this week: Stop worrying about what everyone else has and be thankful for what you have. I know this is easier said than done, but you’ll be far more fulfilled when you put this principle into practice.

I’m saying that a potential customer comes along, and to gain their business, I commit to building something outside of our wheelhouse and core competencies.

And while that may work in the short term, it’s not a sustainable approach.

I’ve heard it said this way: What you win them with is what you win them to.

What you win them with is what you win them to.

I’m going to share a business example with you, but know this principle applies to churches and charities, as well. No matter the type of organization, mission drift is dangerous.

Consider this scenario: You are great at baking, specifically baking cakes. You launch your new business, and you start making cakes for your friends, and their friends, and before you know it, your business is off the ground. Cake-making is something you enjoy, and it’s the offering you want to build your business around.

One day, someone calls, and they ask you to make a large order of sandwiches to cater an upcoming event. Sure, you know how, but it’s not really what you do. Beyond that, it’s not what your business is about. You decide to do it with the hope of earning this customer’s business, thinking that the next time, they’ll ask you to bake a cake.

Instead, the next week, that customer calls back and wants more sandwiches. Then they’ve referred you to their friends. What do their friends want? You guessed it, more sandwiches.

There’s no problem with making sandwiches, but now, the offering you’ve won their business with, is the offering that they keep coming back to.

Or how about this situation? You own a painting company. That’s your expertise and your passion. A large business calls you, but instead of asking you to paint, they ask you to clean their office space. It’s out of the scope of what you do, but you decide that just this once you’ll do it, hoping to earn their painting business down the road. However, every few months they call you back, not asking you to paint, just asking you to clean again. You’ve made a strategic mistake—the thing you’ve won their business with is unfortunately all they want you to do.

As a business owner, I’ve felt this temptation to alter our offerings to gain an exciting new customer. As my imagination runs wild with all the possible ways this client could help grow our business, I realize how easy it is to stray from the core of who we are and what we do well.

I’m not suggesting we should be unaccommodating to our clients and customers, but I am cautioning against getting the wrong business. When you alter what you do to attract a customer, they will often expect you to continue doing more things that are not central to who you are as an organization. If you continue shifting from the core of your business, your identity as an organization is at stake.

This can take on many different forms. A great example is drastically discounting the rates you charge to get a customer to say yes. It’s easy to rationalize when you’re just trying to attract new business, but it can often be a dangerous practice. That customer who got the deep discount is unlikely to ever want to pay full price.

When you’re willing to say or do anything to get a sale, you cheapen your offering, discount your ability, and sell yourself short.

This week, consider the core of your mission and approach. Then commit to it.

You might need to make some concessions, but you must remember that what you win them with is what you win them to.

I’m a lifelong fan of the Atlanta Braves, so I’m loving all of the celebrations from winning the World Series last year.

I love the story of George Brett, who played twenty-one years for the Kansas City Royals and finished his career with more than 3,000 hits and 300 home runs. Brett was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1999.

As he neared the end of his career, a reporter asked him how he would like his very last at bat to go. Everyone assumed that his answer would be to go out with some fanfare—it’s the World Series, bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, two outs, full count, and he hits a home run to win the game.

However, the answer Brett gave was surprising and far less dramatic. He said that he wanted the last play of his Major League Baseball career to be an average play. He wanted to hit a slow-grounder to the second baseman, and he wanted the second baseman to field it easily and throw him out as he was running to first. But when he threw him out, Brett said he wanted to be running as fast as he could toward the bag.

He said he wanted it to be said of him that he always gave his best and always tried his hardest right up until the very end.

That story is inspiring and challenging. Brett wanted to be known as a man that sought excellence in every play of his career, not just the big ones.

Here’s a question for each of us: Can you say the same of yourself? Do you strive for excellence on the ordinary days, not just the big ones?

We should commit ourselves to excellence every single day.

I get it. We all get tired, burned out, and go through seasons of discouragement. But even in the middle of the mundane, we should give our very best.

It’s easy to pursue excellence when you’re trying to land the big job, get the big client, or close the big sale, but on the day packed with meetings to attend and emails to return, are you committed to bringing your best?

Take some time today to think about the way you walk through your personal and professional life.

Do you strive for excellence in the mundane moments?

Do you pursue your relationships constantly?

Do you strive to produce your best work, even when nobody’s watching?

Trust me, I know it’s a lot easier to say this than it is to put this into practice. But if every one of us showed up every single day with excellence as our goal, imagine the impact we could make!

I take it to the tire shop closest to me and they present me with two options:

• We can TRY to patch it but based on where the nail is in the tire, we don’t believe it will work… at least not for long.
• We replace the tire.

Option one is cheaper and faster. But, more likely than not, I’m going to be back in here in a few days. Option two will cost more and take longer, but we know it will work.

Do you ever feel torn between a choice that’s more expedient in the short-term and one that will pay off over the long term?

There may be legitimate reasons to choose the first option, especially if you can’t afford to replace the tire right now. However, when we choose what’s best long term, we are almost always glad we did.

Think about what you're facing today. Are you employing long-term thinking? We are all tempted to settle for the short term.

The idea is going to take too much work.

The weight loss isn’t happening as quickly as I want.

The relationship is requiring a lot more work than I expected; is it worth it?

I want to be fully engaged as a dad, but I don’t want to entertain my child who can’t even talk to me; surely, she won’t notice if I escape to my phone for a little while.

I know I need to save for the future, but retirement seems too far away.

This whole starting a business thing is too much work; wouldn’t I rather go work somewhere that I can leave the problems when I go home?

Investing in my coworkers on top of getting my work done is exhausting; maybe I should give up trying to do both?

Actively serving the church is too tough at this stage of life; I’ll just enjoy the Sunday morning service and not invest too much energy.

Zig Ziglar said, “The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now.”

This is one of my favorite quotes. It communicates a fundamental truth that I fully embrace, and it’s the concept that inspired my first book.

‍But as simple and true as that quote is, it’s HARD to put into practice.

The thoughts creep in. The frustration mounts. The future feels like too far away. And it seems a lot easier to sacrifice that future to enjoy this moment.

It’s tempting, but it’s not worth it.

I don’t want to get down the road and have my story filled with “should have,” “could have,” or “wish I would have.”

I don’t want to get down the road and have my story filled with “should have,” “could have,” or “wish I would have.”

The goal is worth it. Keep your eye on the prize and make the commitment to exchange the immediate for the ultimate.

And, yes, I went ahead and got the new tire.

When I believe something will be valuable, I start to highlight the many benefits. And occasionally, I have the tendency to overpromise.

And that’s a problem. Not just overpromising.

Anytime we set expectations too high, we run a real risk of disappointing people.

Let me give you an example:

More than ten years ago I went to Cuba for the first time and had an incredible experience. It’s tough to put into words how fascinating it was—it’s only 90 miles from the United States, but in many ways, it felt 50 years apart. I loved the experience and was eager to take others back to with me.

After working through the licensing process to take people legally into Cuba, we created an “ADDO Ambassador Trip.”  Something surprising happened… many individuals on our first trip returned home disillusioned and disappointed.

Don’t get me wrong, they thought Cuba was interesting. However, they were unimpressed with the hotel because it was old. Communication with friends and family back home was difficult because access to Wi-Fi was limited—it was unbelievably expensive and worked at the speed of dial-up internet. Our schedule was constantly changing and required flexibility as the itinerary shifted from day to day.

We learned that our participants enjoyed the culture and experience, and most of the dissatisfaction was simply the result of unmet expectations. As an organization, we had failed to lay out clear expectations for the trip.

Rather than give up hope that we could make this work, we devised a plan. The next time we took a group to Cuba, we created a flyer appropriately named “Is Cuba Right for You? Maybe.” In this brochure we explained that Cuba is a unique cultural experience, and that it is not going to be your typical Caribbean vacation. We made it clear that they would not be staying at an all-inclusive island resort, but instead would be immersed in the culture of the Cuban people, experiencing a slower pace of life. We encouraged everyone to be flexible. We explained that Cuba is an adventure, full of fascinating, unexpected, and often challenging experiences. In a tongue-in-cheek way, we suggested if someone were looking for an easy trip, they should explore an all-inclusive somewhere else.

The result? Amazing! After laying out these clear expectations, our next group loved the trip. The hotel was still outdated. There was still no easy access to the internet. Our communication problems were the same. Our schedule shifted and changed. But the expectations had been set, people were prepared, and they loved it!

Don’t miss this: Satisfaction with an experience is largely dependent on expectations being met or exceeded.

Satisfaction with an experience is largely dependent on expectations being met or exceeded.

Guess what? The same principle applies in many other areas of our personal and professional lives.

If we expect to wait ten minutes when we call a customer service line, we are excited when a person answers in less than two minutes.

However, when our significant other doesn’t answer the phone as soon as we call, we are frustrated.

The all-inclusive resort you booked for your honeymoon is way nicer than you thought you could afford on your tiny budget, so you and your new spouse are thrilled with the mediocre accommodations.

However, the hotel you booked for your ten-year anniversary is not nearly as nice as it looked in the pictures, so you find yourself disappointed and feeling ripped off.

One of your clients emails you late at night and is frustrated that you wait to answer until the next morning because they are accustomed to you responding within the hour.

However, a different client is pleasantly surprised by how quickly you respond to the emails that they send during the workday.

If we want people to be satisfied, we must set proper expectations.

When we can lower expectations, or at least paint an accurate picture of them, we set ourselves up for far higher levels of satisfaction.

I know it’s tough when we want to sell a customer, but if they understand there will be a learning curve then they tolerate it better. When a team member knows this season of work will be busy, they can prepare themselves for it.

As a leader, I’d challenge you to take time today to establish proper expectations in your personal relationships and work responsibilities. You’ll create high levels of long-term satisfaction when expectations are realistic.