As a person who loves the finish line, the goal, the buzzer at the end of the match, the declaration of the winner, I am all about the destination. At my most cynical, I would say, “If there’s no destination, there’s no point in taking the journey in the first place.” Now before you stop reading, I know in my heart that this isn’t the truth. I do know the journey matters, but my natural bent is toward the destination.

Because I’m motivated and driven by goals, I’ve noticed a major shortcoming in this generation—their destination and aim is happiness. Many are actively pursuing and chasing this often fleeting feeling in their personal relationships, in their jobs, and in the nitty-gritty of their daily lives.  

Not convinced of the happiness obsession? Check out the self-help section of the bookstore. Here are just a few titles from a quick search on Amazon: The Happiness Advantage: How a Positive Brain Fuels Success in Work and Life, The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living, The Art of Happiness, and Stumbling on Happiness.

‍People have been pursuing happiness since the beginning of time, but recent studies are shedding light on its negative effects. On a recent commute to work, I heard the morning host say,

“The quest for happiness always leads to misery.”

At first, it sounded a little harsh, but as I sat in traffic on my morning commute, I realized it was true. I thought about the people I know who spend the most time thinking about how to make themselves happier, and these are the least happy people I know. The people fixated on this elusive, evasive thing called “happiness” are often miserable.

Legendary investor, mutual fund manager, and philanthropist John Templeton once said, “Happiness pursued eludes. Happiness given returns.”

“Happiness pursued eludes. Happiness given returns.” –John Templeton

Want to be happy? That’s the secret. The people focused on making other people’s lives better are the most happy. When you focus on making another person smile, rather than working to make yourself feel better, the most amazing thing happens: you feel better.

This week, I want to challenge us to do some self-examination.

Take a hard look in the mirror.

If your goal is happiness, you will never be happy.

But if your goal is to pour out your life for the good of another person—for their happiness—you’ll probably be happier than you ever imagined.

As a speaker, author, and leader in my business, it’s even tougher to have to backtrack on something I’ve communicated publicly. I’m constantly sharing new ideas and throwing leadership concepts out there, and there will be times I share something that needs clarifying or a test for complete accuracy. It might even be that something I felt passionate about in one season doesn’t prove to be as helpful in the next.

Recently, this happened in our business. Now I’m working to help our team shift from a perspective that I used to encourage. For the last couple of years, I’ve challenged our team members at ADDO to think like owners. Looking through the lens of an owner, what is the best decision to make? If you owned this place, how would you do it? How would you serve the customer more effectively? Would you give this refund or not? How would you balance your priorities? I believed that looking through the lens of an owner to make important business decisions would be clarifying for each individual on our team. I knew the pride of ownership changes the way that people treat things, so I wanted us to embrace this in our business. I’m not saying an ownership mentality is bad, but my perspective has shifted for two reasons:

1. Feedback from our team:

I have been fortunate to have team members give honest feedback and say, “You tell me to think like an owner, but I’m not an owner. I can try to think that way, but it’s tough to think in a way that’s contrary to reality.” And they’re right. It’s kind of like saying, “Think like a teacher,” or “think like a pastor.” We can try, but if we haven’t been in those shoes, it’s tough to think accurately along those lines.

2. Personal pressure:

If you are an owner, and you’re always thinking like an owner—you could be stressed by the pressure that comes along with it. During a tumultuous time in our business, I remember sitting at our company Christmas party, watching our team members, many of them with their spouses, and feeling a tremendous weight of responsibility. I vividly recall thinking, “There are people in this room whose families’ livelihood depend on me making the right decision.” It’s good for us to feel responsible for our decisions, but if we are always thinking through this lens, we will be overwhelmed, and it could cripple our ability to make bold decisions.

So I am asking our team to shift from an ownership mentality to a stewardship mentality.

Processing this shift in perspective reminded me of a story in Scripture called the Parable of the Talents. In this parable, three individuals were each entrusted with different amounts of money (talents). They did not own the talents, but they were each responsible for how they stewarded them. The owner in the story is a picture of God, and the people entrusted with the talents are pictures of you and me. For me personally, this truth is a weight off my shoulders.

According to some legal documents and the IRS, I own part of ADDO. But at the end of the day, God owns all of it—and it’s my job to steward the people, the relationships, the products, the opportunities, and the business to the best of my ability. And guess what? The people on my team are called to do the exact same thing. We may not all have legal ownership, but we are all responsible to be good stewards of the work we’ve been given to do.

Instead of thinking like an owner, work to be a faithful steward. For the owner, this is freeing. For the employee, it’s clarifying.

Each of us has been entrusted with a job, a role, or a responsibility, and we are called to steward it well.

You might be a parent taking care of children, a coach pouring into young people, a volunteer doing work that no one ever sees—whatever it is you’re doing, remember that you’re a steward. Looking through this lens is a great reminder to be faithful in what has been entrusted to us.

A brand is not a logo. A brand is not even what you tell the world you are.

A brand is what people say about you when you’re not in the room.

It’s the way they feel about you, the way they describe you. It’s how someone would explain who you are and what you do. For the purpose of this post, let’s focus on the personal aspects of building your brand. Most of us fall into one of two camps:

1). There are those trying to build their personal brand and craft their narrative. These people want to be seen in a certain light and focus on how they are perceived by others. When they put too much emphasis on how other people see them, they could be characterized negatively as narcissists.

2). On the other hand, there are those who say, “I’m not worried about my brand.” People in this camp would say they have no need to waste energy carefully crafting an image to the world. While it may come from a genuine place of humility, this approach carries a huge risk. The reality is that we all, every single person reading this, has a personal brand. Personal brands aren’t reserved for celebrities or freelancers or small business owners. Each of us have our own brand.

So whatever your contribution to the world, here are three elements to making sure your brand is the best it can be:

1. Authentic:

Your personal brand has to be you. Your brand can’t be something you’re not. This might feel self-explanatory, but too many people trip over this first element. If I am trying to build my personal brand (as Kevin), it wouldn’t be as a bodybuilder. For those of you who know me personally, this shouldn’t come as a surprise! A personal brand won’t work if it’s not true. Sure, you might convince a few people that you’re someone you’re not, but that doesn’t work long term. And by the way, this should help silence some of the critics that say building your brand is self-serving or narcissistic.

Good personal brands are simply authentic expressions of who a person is.

2. Compelling:

Your personal brand should be interesting to people. When I say interesting, I don’t mean that it’s always exciting or fun, but it’s interesting to people because there’s something about you that’s good for them. If you are ALL about you—what you do, what you have, what products you deliver, what services you provide—no one will care. Most people are self-focused. Therefore, in order for your brand to be compelling, it needs to be about something you offer to the world. I love this movement started by Jeff Henderson of Gwinnett Church, which is all about telling their community what they are for. What a great concept. The most successful brands and businesses are the ones that benefit the world.

3. Discoverable:

This element is key. For you and your brand to be successful, the right people need to know where to find you. In today’s world, you might be thinking about the internet, SEO (Search Engine Optimization) and social media presence. And these can each be a part of being discoverable. But think more specifically. Do the people who would benefit from what you can offer the world know where they can find you? If your CPA services can help small businesses, do those small businesses know you exist? If someone is looking for a local church in your community, do I know where to find yours? If I need a quick drive-thru healthy meal, do I know where to find your restaurant? If your brand is authentic and compelling but nobody can find you, it’s not helpful.

This may mean that you need to attend a networking group, join an organization with like-minded people, or simply tell people where you're passionate about adding value to others. These three elements listed above apply not only to individuals, but to organizations, businesses, and nonprofits. Even the biggest business must have a brand that is authentic, compelling, and discoverable to impact the people they desire to serve.

So whether you are a teacher or the CEO of a large organization, ask yourself these questions this week:

• What do people say about me when I’m not in the room?
• What do I have to offer the world?
• Do the people who need me know where to find me?

My wife and I were a little late to the This Is Us bandwagon. And to be honest, I would like to jump off at any time. But for the sake of my marriage, I am hanging in there. It’s not that This Is Us is a bad show. In fact, I think it’s a great show, but it’s emotionally exhausting. In our house, the scenario goes something like this. We’ve just put our son to bed. We’ve got roughly an hour before we both would like to go to sleep. Laura turns to me and asks, “Do you want to watch This is Us?” And I think, “You know, it’s been a long day at work, and I don’t think I have the emotional capital to spend on watching that show tonight,” so I suggest Family Feud instead. But I don’t hate This Is Us. It’s one of the most compelling shows I’ve ever seen. Inevitably in every storyline, there is some great tragedy or some heightened emotional moment born out of the light, fun topics of alcoholism, death, eating disorders, family conflict, or divorce.

The show mirrors real life, so in most episodes, some character makes a bold commitment about how they are going to live their lives differently. They are going to be present at home. They are going to stop drinking. They are going to lose the weight.  We can all relate to the show, because even if we haven’t faced the same situations, we’ve all made those types of commitments to ourselves and other people in our lives.

There’s been a conflict with your friend, a tough conversation with your boss, or a fight with your spouse. And in that moment, things have been brought to light. The picture has been clarified. And you realize something about yourself that you never have before. So you make the promise to your boss, your coworker, your friend, your spouse, or maybe even to God: “I am going to be different, and things are going to change.”

Ever made a promise like that?

I’m going to be a better spouse. I’m going to be intentionally present with my kids at home. I’m going to give it my all at work. I’m going to invest in this friendship. I’m going to support this coworker. I’m going to be more committed to God and my faith.

When things are bad and there’s nowhere to go but up, these commitments feel easy to make. But when things are better, those promises are often easy to break.

So here’s my challenge to you and to me today:

Be willing to fulfill in the good times the commitments you’ve made in the bad times.

There are multiple critical components to effective leadership. Leaders need to provide clear direction, they must lead by example, and they need to own up to their mistakes, all while keeping the commitments they've made to themselves and others.

We make promises when things are tough, but the true test of integrity is whether or not we fulfill those when our situation improves.

These individuals are seasoned, successful, and accomplished. Most of them also fit the stereotype of their profession. Their job is to manage money. They work to mitigate risks. They are focused on the bottom line. And they think in terms of real, concrete results.

So in a crowd like that, I probably look a little different. Not only am I quite a bit younger than most of the people in the room, but they also look at me as the “leadership guy” who is doing the inspirational stuff. My closing keynote followed sessions like “Understanding the Regulatory Environment” and “A Decade After the Downturn—What’s Next?” So I knew my content had the potential to be perceived as “fluffy”—not the serious stuff.

Whether it’s my own insecurity, or maybe the fact that I want to work extra hard to add value, I made sure to highlight the practical benefits of a purpose, of a vision, and of good leadership. Maybe you need a reminder that these things have a tangible impact as well.

So let’s explore the very practical benefits of purpose. For the sake of this message, I’m going to use the words purpose, vision, and goals interchangeably—not because they mean the same thing, but because these practical benefits I’m outlining apply to each of them.  When you have a clear purpose, you have clear benefits. If you miss everything else, don’t miss this: When the vision is clear, the mundane becomes meaningful.

So here are three practical things that a clear vision does for you:

When the vision is clear, the mundane becomes meaningful.

1. Helps you WANT to get going.

The word I like to use here is passion. When you have a clear vision, you have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. It lights the fire. Vision acts as a catalyst. It’s the spark plug that makes you want to dive into your work. If you think about going on a trip, vision is the destination. When I know the destination, it makes me want to get in the car, turn on the ignition, and hit the road!

2. Know WHERE you’re going.

Very tangibly, vision gives you direction. Having a purpose, vision, or goal simplifies your decision-making process. Every day, you’re confronted with options, and you must decide what to do and not do. When you are crystal clear about what your goal is, then you can look through the lens of that goal to evaluate your decisions. Bottom line, a clear goal helps you know more clearly whether to say “yes” or “no” to choices you need to make.

3. Makes you WILLING to keep going.

Vision provides motivation. When life gets tough—you get discouraged, depressed, and just don’t feel like persevering anymore—having a vision will motivate you to push through obstacles and challenges to achieve your goal. The clearer the goal, the more impactful it is. Think about that: the better I can visualize my desired future, the more motivating it is. The challenges we face are looming, large, and right in front of our eyes. We need a clear picture of our purpose to persist through the obstacles that try to deter us.

Your individual goals, vision, and purpose provide the passion, direction, and motivation necessary to fulfill your calling.

This works personally, but it also works organizationally. It’s not enough to simply create a mission statement and put it on a wall. Doing the annual goal-setting exercise is not sufficient. It must become something you see and pursue.

A clear purpose, vision, or goal for your organization will fuel your team with passion, provide them with direction, and give them the motivation to achieve the important work you’ve set out to do.

This is a testament to every single individual on our team because they’ve helped create a culture where people are able to exercise their unique talents toward a mission they believe in—to inspire people today to impact tomorrow.

If you were to ask me to name one thing that makes ADDO a great place to work, my answer might surprise you: We don't buy cheap toilet paper.

On our internal communication tool, we make a Costco list each month. What snacks do people want? What cleaning supplies do we need? Are we out of paper towels? Do we need more K-Cups? And every couple of months, we need to buy toilet paper. Survey the ADDO team members who’ve been around for a while and they’ll tell you how frustrated I get when we buy the wrong toilet paper—the cheap stuff. You know the type I’m talking about. It’s the kind of toilet paper in every public restroom that feels like sandpaper but ironically is so thin you can see straight through it. It’s the worst. Enough of my rant.

When we think about creating a great place to work, it isn't all about ping pong tables, bean bags, and beer fridges. No matter what our culture propagates, these aren’t the kinds of things that make a business attractive to young talent. Additionally, it’s really tough as a small business to afford some of the perks that a large corporation can.

What’s really important for our clients, and also for our employees, is to know that we care for them.

And one of the ways to do this is through small, simple acts that show we care. Things like spending the few extra dollars on the better toilet paper.

Symbols of care (like good toilet paper) not only create a better work environment, but they also positively impact different areas of our professional and personal lives.

Bringing coffee and donuts to a meeting before school shows your teachers you appreciate the sacrifices they made to come extra early before a long day of planning lessons and teaching students. A personal warm greeting and an invitation to join your family for a meal can help you welcome new people to your church. A hand-written note could remind a client of how much you value their business.

Taking a donor to lunch to tell them how much their contribution means to your organization could help build a long-lasting relationship.

Calling your spouse on your lunch break to ask about how her big meeting went that morning shows that you remembered, that you were thinking of her, and that you care about what’s important to her. It’s often not the big, bold, expensive gestures that communicate you value people.

It’s the small but significant symbols that send a message that you actually care.

This week, be intentional as you work to communicate care to the people closest to you. And whatever you do, don’t buy cheap toilet paper.

One day, a mouse skittered into a fifth-grade classroom and caused an eruption of squeals as students jumped, stood in their chairs, or sat on their desks. The teacher asked her class to quiet down and remain calm. The mouse was nowhere in sight, and every student looked around for it frantically—except one. Stevie Morris sat unfazed, relaxed in his seat. Although Stevie was blind and couldn’t see the little mouse, he had a heightened sense of hearing and knew exactly where the critter was hiding.

The teacher knew this about Stevie, so in front of whole class, she asked him to use his gift to help them find this furry creature. His classmates watched in amazement as “Little Stevie” walked right over to the mouse’s hiding spot and became their hero.

Stevie Morris told this story in an interview later in life. He recalled how this moment, when his teacher pointed out his gift of hearing in front of the whole class, gave him the courage to fully leverage this gift. That decision to focus on his strength, not his weakness, helped him become one of the most influential musicians of all time.

Never heard of Stevie Morris?

I bet you know his stage name—Stevie Wonder.

This is one of my favorite stories about identifying and exploiting strengths. It’s important when we look at ourselves, and it’s important we think about others. So often in education, in work, and in our family lives, we focus on improving areas of weakness. When a child brings a report card home with a few A’s, a couple B’s, and one D, their parents’ first reaction is to ask why the D is there and focus on the subject that needs improvement.

However, a lot of times when we stop focusing on our weaknesses and instead work to leverage our strengths, we are far more effective. In other words, when you focus on maximizing your strengths instead of improving your weaknesses, you make the greatest contributions to the world.

When you focus on maximizing your strengths instead of improving your weaknesses, you make the greatest contributions to the world.

Let me leave you with two questions to consider this week.

1. What strength do you need to work on maximizing?

Maybe it’s your ability to connect with people, your gift of writing, your creative bent, or your ability to teach. Whatever it may be, develop that strength and use it to positively impact the world around you.

2. How can you consciously call attention to and encourage these strengths in the people in your sphere of influence?

If Stevie Morris’s teacher never called out his gift of hearing, think of what the world might have missed. Let’s strive to be the kind of people that call out the strengths in others and give them the courage to do great things.

Recently one of my friends was having a particularly weird week. My friend, who is a public servant, was making national news for something incredible he had accomplished in his local community. Simultaneously he was being threatened by a small group of people that wanted him removed from his position. He was having one incredibly positive experience and another crushingly negative one at the same time.

In a small group gathering, my friend asked some confidantes if they believed he should go on the offensive against the people criticizing him. In response, another friend shared this famous quote: “Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it, and your enemies won’t believe it.”

“Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it, and your enemies won’t believe it.”

I had never heard that quote before. I immediately knew it to be true and was challenged by it. I have a tendency to be distracted by the small but vocal group that’s never satisfied. And I’m willing to bet that I’m not the only one who feels this way. These groups emerge in many different contexts. It can happen internally with a couple of negative team members in your company. It can happen externally with a few unsatisfied customers. It can happen with one family of unhappy neighbors in your community.

It can happen with a few frustrated parents of students at the school.

It can happen at church with the small cluster that always has a comment.

It can happen among your friends with the parent who's always offering an opinion about everything from organic baby food to potty training.

A tiny group. A small minority. But the noise they make is hard to tune out.

These examples bring one of my favorite Walt Disney quotes to mind: “We’re not trying to entertain the critics. I’ll take my chances with the public.” It’s not that Disney didn’t care about people’s thoughts.

However, he was more concerned with what most people thought, and definitely didn’t want to waste time distracted by the people who were professional pundits. It’s easy to get so discouraged by a couple of loud, unhappy individuals that we gain a false perception of reality and lose sight of the big picture.

The book of Nehemiah gives us a great picture of how we should handle these situations. God told Nehemiah to build a wall around the city of Jerusalem. While he was working, he faced opposition but kept working day after day. I love how he responded to his critics: “And I sent messengers to them, saying, “I am doing a great work and I cannot come down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and come down to you?” (Nehemiah 6:3 ESV).

So here’s my encouragement to you (and to me) today: You have important work to do. Don’t let the loud minority take you off track.

Three years ago I launched this blog.

That might not seem like a big deal to you, but it was a huge step for me. I’d written books, but the idea of committing to put out a post every single week seemed daunting.

However, three years and 156 consecutive weeks of posts later, here we are. Looking back, it wouldn’t have been possible without the help of our ADDO team, Marjorie Roberson helping create, compile and edit, and the different individuals and organizations that share these posts.

To those of you who have been here from the beginning, thank you for reading my thoughts, sharing them, and supporting me in this endeavor. To new readers, welcome! I hope these blog posts are valuable resources to you, both personally and professionally.

Today, I want to look back at the last three years and highlight three of my favorite posts.

1. The Junk on the Journey: This is the first post I wrote to launch this blog three years ago. Looking through the lens of a powerful proverb, we are each challenged to reframe our perspective to face and embrace challenges in a new way.

2. Leading When the Majority is Wrong: This post is as timely today as the day it was written. In our shifting culture and climate, we must know how to identify when the majority is wrong. After we come to this conclusion, we need clarity and courage to stand up for what is right, even when it’s not popular.

We need clarity and courage to stand up for what is right, even when it's not popular.

3. The High Cost of Low Engagement: Poor organizational culture and unengaged team members are coming at a huge cost to your company. Seriously. In this post, I spell it out so even the most results-oriented individual can understand how important it is to focus on employee engagement.

Whether you are a business owner, a young employee working your first job, a pastor in ministry, a volunteer for a non-profit, or a parent, I hope that this blog helps you on your journey.

Thank you for reading. I’m excited for what the next three years might bring!