A few weeks ago, I sat down with a gentleman whose role is to equip and encourage pastors. As our conversation progressed, he explained that many churches struggle to lead change. Whether they are encouraging their congregation to be more hospitable to outsiders or presenting a proposal to remodel the church building, he said that church leaders need to carefully consider their approach. He said: "If someone is going to effectively lead change, they need to turn up the care."

His statement painted a vivid image in my mind of a physical care dial that needs to be turned up. If I want to lead change, I need to crank up the level of care and turn up my care dial for the people in my organization.  

That visual reminds me of what a producer says when I’m on TV or filming a video. A director will often push me to increase my energy by 25%, to a point that might even make me feel uncomfortable, but when it comes through the screen, it feels right for the audience. The same is true when you’re leading change. You may feel overboard caring for your people 25-50% more than you normally do, but that’s the level of care that’s needed to get them through an important transition like trying to implement a new strategy, asking them to do something uncomfortable, shifting the style of your work, changing their job descriptions, or reorganizing their positions in your organization.  

Why does this matter? Because when people feel cared for, they are far more willing to follow.  

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In his book The Speed of Trust, Stephen Covey explains that the speed at which an organization can change is directly correlated to the level of trust within that organization. In other words, the more that people trust each other, the more quickly people will move toward a proposed change. If someone believes (trusts) that their leader’s intentions are pure, that they act for the good of their employees, volunteers, or church members, they are more willing to endure discomfort for a season as they adjust to change.  

So if trust is essential to helping any group change and grow, how can we improve that trust? It all goes back to care.  

We gain trust by genuinely caring for people.

Practically caring for people can look drastically different depending on the relationship and situation.  

It might be taking the time to write one volunteer a note each week, expressing your appreciation for their hard work.  

Maybe it’s sending that personal text message to the church member that you saw go out of their way to connect with a visitor.  

It could be providing a bonus to your team members that put in hours outside of work to complete a big project that helped your business to grow.  

In your family, it could be encouraging your children in the everyday victories like being kind and generous to their siblings without being asked.

Don’t misunderstand me. I am not encouraging you to employ care as a strategy to manipulate or coerce individuals into doing what you want. Caring for your people should be a habit and a posture you adopt every single day.  

Then, when you’re trying to make those extra moves or substantial shifts, you double down and increase that care, so they are reminded of what they already know to be true.

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We live in a world of copycats.

I’m privileged to be in a position where I regularly talk to smart young leaders. These men and women are ambitious. They want to achieve great things. They dream of creating products and services that add value. Unfortunately, many of them fall into a terrible trap. Looking for the easiest path, they search for a fail-proof formula they can replicate and repurpose. They see others who have succeeded and begin to ask who they should be instead of what they could do.

Too often young people (older people too) make a major mistake—they try to become someone else instead of something unique that the world desperately needs.

Mark McNeilly writes in his book Sun Tzu and the Art of Business: “Although competitive imitation may be the highest form of flattery, it is the lowest form of strategy.”

"Although imitation may be the highest form of flattery, it is the lowest form of strategy.”

- Mark McNeilly

Certainly, there are some things we should imitate and replicate that other people are doing successfully. Consider these three areas:

1. Policies and Procedures.

If there are businesses, nonprofits, or churches that run smoothly because they have certain policies and procedures in place, these are things you should consider replicating to improve your own organization. The same is true in other areas of our lives. If we observe a healthy and happy home, it’s worth asking what standards make that household so peaceful. If something works well for one family, it may be worth replicating and adapting to fit your own family’s needs.

2. Process.

Without question, there are some tried and true methods for doing work that should be imitated. If somebody else has figured out how to code a website well, draw up a formula on an excel spreadsheet, or create a tool to make work more efficient and effective, by all means, use it!

3. Products.

This one is a little tougher to explain, but let’s talk through a couple of examples. If somebody figured out how to make a really good burrito, but you figure how to make a better burrito—sell it. At one point, someone figured out how to make the first car, but others have found ways to make a car that’s safer, or has better gas mileage, or that’s faster and more fun to drive. Taking an idea and making it better isn’t a bad thing—it’s smart!

But imitation shifts from being a smart strategy to a fatally flawed approach when you try to imitate another person. There is an epidemic of people who read books about Steve Jobs’ leadership style and try to replicate it. Yes, he was incredibly successful, but it’s well known that he could be abrasive, arrogant, and even mean-spirited. Now, there are leaders in the world who are treating their team members badly because they want to be somebody they are not. Just because it worked for him, doesn’t mean it will work for you.

The same is true of our values. I often sit across from new entrepreneurs who will ask me about the values that drive me. It blows my mind when I see those same values show up on their website the following week. Although it’s flattering in the moment, it’s ultimately concerning. If you’re looking to someone else to figure out your values, you don’t know who you are, and you’re in trouble.

Not all imitation is bad, but trying to be someone else is unacceptable. In fact, it’s robbery. You’re robbing the world of your unique, God-given gifts. Your uniqueness is precisely what provides you with the best opportunity.

Judy Garland once said, “Always be a first-rate version of yourself and not a second-rate version of someone else.”

If you’re a pastor, stop trying to watch sermons online to copy a particular speaking style.

If you’re a leader, stop studying Steve Jobs’ management approach and just be yourself.

If you’re an artist, stop trying to create what’s already selling and make something unique.

If you’re a writer, stop trying to be your favorite author and write from the heart.

When it comes to policies, procedures, processes, and products, feel free to rip off, replicate, and imitate. But when it comes to the unique pieces of your individual self, don’t settle for a cheap copy of somebody else.

Remember this principle that’s true for both fine art and for success in life—people never pay as much for a copy as they do for the original.

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Businesses thrive when they have customers who turn into champions, and those champions become raving fans. But you can’t have a raving fan without first having great customer service. Here are three essential elements to a great customer experience:

1. It’s accurate: you get what you pay for. If you’re placing an order, the order is accurate. If you buy a product, the product is defect-free. If you’re staying in a hotel room, the room is clean, and you have everything you need.

2. It’s timely: you get it when you expect it. Your call is answered immediately. Your package arrives on or before its estimated arrival date. You move through the drive-thru quickly. The website is finished on time.

Recently, I was traveling and had a moment of weakness—I wanted a Steak ‘n Shake milkshake. So I pulled up to their drive-thru and was greeted by an employee that sounded anything but eager to see me. She said, “Just to let you know, it will be 10-15 minutes before I can take your order and another 45 minutes before we can have you order ready.” Forty-five minutes? For a milkshake?! It was insanity and the complete opposite of a good customer service experience.

3. It’s done with care: you feel good after the interaction. The person answering your call, the individual taking your order, or the team member delivering the service enjoys what they are doing and treats you like they care about you.

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Imagine this scenario. I walk into a fast food establishment. I am standing in line, and I hear someone behind the counter yell “NEXT!” I look up and realize they are calling me, so I walk up to take my order. But when I reach the counter, they are looking down because they are finishing the previous transaction. Finally, they look up at me. We have never met before, but in this moment, I realize that this person hates me. I am an inconvenience to their day and what they are trying to accomplish. “What do you want?” they ask. (Side note: This is OK if you’re at the Varsity in Atlanta where it’s tradition for the people behind the counter to yell “What d’ya have?” at customers. But pretty much everywhere else, it’s not OK.) I tell them my order. They recite it back to me perfectly and say, “Alright, that will be $5.85.” I hand them my money. They give me my change, hand me my order, and before I can even take a step away from the counter, yell “NEXT”, so the next person in line will step up.

What’s fascinating about this scenario is that the first two components of a positive customer experience are met. The order is accurate, and I get it in a timely fashion. But I wouldn’t view this interaction as a positive customer service experience. It’s not enough.

The same is true if someone treats me with care but never gets my order right or takes forever to complete it. Just being nice isn’t enough.

For a customer to feel genuinely served during an interaction, all three pieces must be present: it must be accurate, timely, and delivered with care.

What’s interesting is that companies that have great customer service also tend to be the most profitable.

Companies that have great customer service also tend to be the most profitable.

Consider Marriott’s success. They are known for putting people first from top to bottom, and it shows in the way their employees care for hotel guests. This is why I regularly stay at Marriott hotels when I travel.

Sometimes, it can feel like Amazon is taking over the world of internet retail, and it’s for good reason. Amazon continues to rank at the top of ForSee’s Experience Index for retail insights. They know their customers, and year after year, work to improve their customer’s online shopping experience.

Chick-fil-A’s dedication to second mile service raised the bar for customer service across all industries, not to mention the fact that they make more per restaurant than any other fast food establishment in the country.

So if you’re looking to grow your company, start by improving your customer service.

This week, work at these three principles to improve your organization’s customer service. Also, consider how these strategies could help you care for all of the people in your life. When you work with excellence, value people’s time, and treat others with care, you create raving fans.

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Have you ever found yourself desperate for help, for a team member to work on your project, for a volunteer to sign up for your organization? The timeline is crunched, and you’re feeling pressured to find someone fast. So you lower your standards. You justify it in your mind—it’s only one person; it’s only one time; it won’t make that much of a difference.  

You later find that you’ve unintentionally set off a chain reaction, and you look around and realize you’re no longer on the A team. You’re on the B team or the C team. You’re in the middle of what Guy Kawasaki calls a Bozo Explosion.  

Steve Jobs once said, “A small team of A+ players can run circles around a giant team of a B and C players.” Guy Kawasaki worked directly for Steve Jobs, and he explains this principle in an article titled “12 Pivotal Lessons Steve Jobs Taught Guy Kawasaki.”  

Here’s the premise: A players hire A players. If you’re an A player, you want to surround yourself with people as smart or smarter than you.  

To make this abundantly clear, let’s assign people a number from 1 to 10, with 10 being the most talented and 1 being the least. The smartest people, the 9’s and 10’s, don’t want to be the smartest people in the room. They want to be around other 9’s and 10’s. This is why the best musicians want to make and play music with other talented artists. This is why the best athletes desire to play with and compete against the highest-ranked players and teams. This is why the most intelligent people desire to study at the most prestigious universities.  

However, if you begin to lower your standards and allow B’s into your organization, they will attract C’s because they want to feel superior. Put another way, the same principle that applies to 9’s and 10’s, doesn’t apply to 7’s and 8’s. In fact, the 7’s and 8’s want to be around 5’s and 6’s in order to feel superior. They want to feel like the smartest or most talented people in the room. The 5’s and 6’s? You guessed it: they start to bring on 3’s and 4’s. It’s at this stage you’ve entered what Kawasaki refers to as the Bozo Explosion. If you invite one clown, you will probably end up with a car full of clowns.  

If you invite one clown, you will probably end up with a car full of clowns.

When you’re looking for talent and are feeling pressed for time, stressed out, and tempted to lower your standards, don’t. Don’t just settle for a warm body. The best organizations and businesses would rather wait longer to have the right person on their team than settle for a B or C player that’s the wrong fit for their company.  

Real talk: If you’re tempted to surround yourself with people who are less talented than yourself because it makes you feel superior, you need to take a hard look in the mirror and evaluate your intentions. In every circumstance, whether you are the CEO of your organization or in an entry-level position, you should work hard to surround yourself with people who push you to be better.  

This takes a rare blend of confidence and humility. If you need a quick refresher on what this looks like, check out last week’s blog post.  

Here’s the bottom line: don’t set off the Bozo Explosion. Work to be an A player. Surround yourself with other A players. The work you’re doing is too important to lower your standards.

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Everyone would like to have more knowledge.

We may not all care about knowledge in the same areas, but when we care about something, we like to acquire information about it. We want to know the most fun facts about our favorite TV show, book series, or movie saga. We like to be able to rattle off the statistics of our home baseball team. We want to be the most credentialed professional in the office. We want knowledge, and we also want others to know we have it.

Knowledge isn’t bad, but knowledge without wisdom is just pride.

Knowledge without the discernment of how to use it makes us feel better, but it doesn’t make us better.

Knowledge attainment alone is about ego.

I don’t want self-seeking knowledge. I want wisdom. So, how do we acquire it?

The Bible has a lot to say about wisdom, and it explains what wise people do differently. Here are three disciplines it emphasizes. If we put these into practice, we will be well on our way to gaining wisdom.

1. The humility to accept wise counsel.

“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.” - Proverbs 12:15

“The wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin.” - Proverbs 10:8

A wise person is humble enough to accept that they aren’t always right. We don’t always know best, and we often need the insight of others to make good decisions. One of the best ways to gain wisdom is to surround ourselves with wise people.

A wise person is humble enough to accept that they aren’t always right.

2. Patience.

“Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.” - Proverbs 14:29

Ouch. This one is tough for me. How about you? Are you quick to take offense? Are you easily frustrated? People who practice patience aren’t easily angered, and they don’t allow small delays to ruin their day.

I love what Maya Angelou said about this, “I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

3. Make every day count.

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” - Psalm 90:12

Remembering the fact that we will die one day reminds us to work hard to make every day count. Although it feels morbid, it’s healthy think about death. Living in light of this reality should make us live differently.

This week, consider how you’re gaining wisdom. Are you humble enough to surround yourself with good people? Are you patient when it’s easy to be frustrated? Are you living in a way that makes every day count?

Here’s the really cool part about pursuing wisdom: not only do these practices—seeking wise counsel, responding with patience, and having a healthy perspective of our lives— lead to wisdom, but the wiser you are the more naturally these qualities come.

Seek wisdom. It’s only when we grow in wisdom that knowledge can have a meaningful purpose in our lives.

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How many times has a Twitter argument changed someone's opinion?

Do you know anyone who changed their mind after debating in the comments section of a Facebook post?

Does anyone win a screaming match in the end? Have your curt text messages ever persuaded a friend to take your side?

It’s very seldom that an argument will actually persuade someone to take the other side. Even if one person concedes, it’s unlikely they’ll change their mind.

Let’s talk about persuasion. Regardless of our profession and our position, we all need to be able to persuade others.

We need to close more sales. We’d like to win more people to our political view. We want more people to experience the peace that comes with our faith. We want to get our kids to listen to us. We really want our spouse to agree with our location choice for the family vacation.  We all want people on our side. We want to shift opinions. We want our families, our customers, and our co-workers in our corner. So, how do we become better at persuasion?

We can appeal to emotion, use logic, cast a vision of a better way, or articulate how our ideas will be beneficial long term. But if you want a simple, strategic way to improve your persuasion ability immediately, here’s an idea: be more likable.

That’s it.

To be persuasive, you should be delightful.

Be somebody that other people want to be around. Be compassionate. Be generous. Be kind. You’re far more likely to persuade people who like you.

Andy Andrews, one of my favorite communicators, gives this funny and practical example of how his marriage radically changed based on a lesson he learned from his dog, Lucy.

Bottom line, being delightful can help improve all areas of your life, especially your ability to persuade.

How about one more example?

The Apostle Paul wrote that “God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance” (Romans 2:4). Think about that. With all of the attributes of God, the Bible says that it’s his kindness that brings us to repentance—that causes us to turn around and change our lives. If God uses kindness to draw us to himself, don’t you think we should show kindness to change hearts and minds?

Take time this week to delight the people around you, care for their needs, make them smile. And when you think they might need some persuading to take the next step, you just might find they’re already in your corner.

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Our elementary school character education program is built around 16 character principles. One of those essential character traits is loyalty, and I believe it’s undervalued in today’s world. Loyalty, like responsibility, perseverance, and honesty, is a fundamental and foundational component of character, so it should come as no surprise that we endeavor to teach it to our children.

Unfortunately, as an adult, I don’t hear much about loyalty, and when I do, it’s often used in a negative sense. “Oh, he’s just blindly loyal.” “She’s loyal to a fault.” “He is too loyal to the such-and-such administration.”

We must understand that true loyalty isn’t about blind trust. Loyalty is not standing by the person committing a fraudulent crime. It’s not yoking yourself to something bad. Loyalty being faithful and devoted to someone or something. Wouldn’t we all like more of that?

If you’re a business, you need loyal employees and customers.

Nonprofits need loyal volunteers and loyal donors.

Churches need loyal members, committed to loving one another.

And we all need loyal friends willing to stick with us, especially when times are tough.

It’s true that loyalty is easy when things are good, but it’s when loyalty costs us something that it’s most valuable.

When I’m an employee, it’s easy to be loyal to my company when I have no other options. As a customer, it’s easy to be loyal when I have never had a problem. As a church member, it’s easy to be loyal when I have never been offended. As a friend, it’s easy to be loyal when no one has disappointed me. But when the rubber meets the road, true loyalty stands out.

Loyalty is important. So how do we cultivate it? How do we earn the loyalty of others?

In the TV show Designated Survivor, there’s a time when everything is crumbling around the president. There’s a specific scene where the people closest to him stand by him even though it would be personally more advantageous for them to abandon him. When the president asks his Vice President why she remained supportive during this dark time, her response was simple and compelling: “Your staffs’ loyalty to you through everything. Loyalty is a consequence of leadership.”

"Loyalty is a consequence of leadership." - Designated Survivor

I love that. A consequence is a result or a payment. Therefore, loyalty is the result of something you earn when you lead well. If you are a good leader, a strong leader, a servant leader, you earn the loyalty of those around you.

The easiest way to cultivate loyalty in the tough times is to lead well. This week, intentionally find ways you can better care for the people you’re leading. Ask them good questions. Care for their needs. Let them see you make decisions based off of your good character, not convenience.

If you do that, when the hard times come, you might learn that you’ve earned their loyalty as a consequence of that leadership.

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One of the greatest challenges entrepreneurs face is the need to be fully committed to a project, idea, cycle, platform, or product while also being willing and able to adapt.

Most of us find ourselves falling into one of two camps: fully committed or easily adaptable. There are benefits to each, but there are risks if we can’t balance both.

1. Fully Committed

This fully committed person will see the project through until the end no matter what. They have an idea or concept that they believe in and will push through obstacles, distractions, criticisms, and even failure to bring it to life. These people are consistent. This drive is admirable and positive. In fact, entrepreneurs cannot succeed unless they fully execute their projects. But the risk is that this person can sometimes be too rigid and too locked into their way of doing things. Even when the facts and data say that it’s time to change, this person struggles to adapt or to take a different course.

2. Easily Adaptable

Many entrepreneurs, especially the ones who always have new ideas, are willing and ready to adapt, to shake things up, and to change in order to make the new product a success. They can stay agile, shift the messaging, and even change the offering to make it appeal to the customer. They are the first to implement a new system and also the first to vote to scrap that system in favor of something new.

While this tendency scares and intimidates a lot of people, this is the boat I find myself in; this comes naturally to me. The risk for someone like me is that we might abandon too quickly. We are ready to move on before we've given a new project a full shot. And because our eye is always on adapting, we don't always give the execution a true chance.

Any successful product, project, or company is the result of executing with excellence while remaining agile enough to change when it’s necessary.

When looking for inspiration, we can find other people and organizations that do this well. Chick-fil-A is a prime example.

Chick-fil-A initially built their business on operating restaurants in mall food courts. However, they didn’t just stay in malls. Even when malls were thriving and business was going well, Chick-fil-A began to explore a new strategy of operating free-standing stores. They remained committed to the mall strategy but explored a new one. Now, they have the best free-standing fast-food restaurants in the industry, which worked out well since most malls are struggling. However, Chick-fil-A is still willing to adapt, troubleshooting ways to deliver food, testing take-home meal kits, and exploring a world of mobile technology and convenience. They are staying committed to excellence in their free-standing stores while finding new ways to serve their customers.

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If we are going to find a way to be fully committed and willing to adapt, there are two things we must do:

1. Understand your bias. Know if you are more willing to commit or more willing to adapt. Until you’ve acknowledged your preference, you won’t be able to adequately work on your weakness.

2. Surround yourself with people who complement you. If you are hyper-committed, do you have people close to you that adapt easily? If you are hyper-adaptable, do you have people close to you who are committed to seeing projects through to the end?

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Each of us need individuals or systems that help us balance both.

By the way, this truth doesn’t just apply to entrepreneurs. It applies to many areas of life.

Do you have your baby on a schedule? Maybe you are so adaptable that it’s difficult for your child to fall into any sort of routine. Or maybe you are so rigid with the schedule that your child doesn’t easily adapt to new environments.

Have you ever tried a new diet plan? Maybe you were so committed that you stuck to the same plan for months even though you experienced no change. Or maybe you adapt so quickly that you gave up after three days when you didn’t see an immediate result.

How do you respond to relationships? Maybe your appetite for change has you getting bored and moving on too quickly before you’ve really given it a chance to work. On the other hand, maybe you remain committed to hurtful relationships for far too long.

We’ve got to be willing to change, and we need to stick to our commitments. Understand your bias, and surround yourself with people who push you to see a different perspective.

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I’m writing this as a message to me. But as I’m talking to myself, I hope you’ll read along—it just might be something you need to hear too.

I'm overdue for a reminder to take the long view in life.

Zig Ziglar said, “The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now.”

This is one of my favorite quotes of all time. It communicates a fundamental truth that I fully embrace, and it’s the concept that inspired my first book. I often hesitate to share this principle in my writing or speaking because it feels so painfully obvious. Of course everyone knows you should focus on making choices that will benefit you long-term. However, even though I know this to be true, I often find myself wanting to choose what’s easier, to do the thing that will make me happy right now instead of the thing that will satisfy me later.

It’s tempting to settle for the short term.

The idea is going to take too much work.

The weight loss isn't happening as quickly as I want.

The relationship is requiring a lot more work than I expected; is it worth it?

I want to be fully engaged as a dad, but I don't want to entertain my child who can't even talk to me; surely he won't notice if I escape to my phone for a little while.

I know I need to save for the future, but retirement seems like too far away.

This whole starting a business thing is too much work; wouldn't I rather go work somewhere that I can leave the problems when I go home?

Investing in my coworkers on top of getting my work done is exhausting; maybe I should give up trying to do both?

Actively serving the church is too tough at this stage of life; I’ll just enjoy the Sunday morning service and not invest too much energy.

The thoughts creep in. The frustration mounts. The future feels like too far away. And it seems a lot easier to sacrifice that future to enjoy this moment.

It's tempting. But it's not worth it.

I have to remind myself that I don't want to get down the road and have my story filled with "should have,” “could have,” or "wish I would have.”

The goal is worth it. Keep your eye on the prize and make the commitment to exchange the immediate for the ultimate.

Keep your eye on the prize and make the commitment to exchange the immediate for the ultimate.

It’s not enough to know this truth. We must believe it, stay focused, and consistently commit to make this a reality in our lives.

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