Don’t get me wrong, these weeks have been fun, but they have also been full.
I’m guessing the same is true for you. Sure, the activities might be different. However, most of you have very full plates, packed calendars, and you might be overwhelmed.
What do we do when life feels crazy? If you’re like me, you look out into the future, envisioning a time when things will “settle down.”
Once my children get a little bit older.
When this crazy season at work passes.
After I can get this debt paid off.
If I can just close this piece of business.
When I’m not single anymore.After this quarter ends.
We look forward to that elusive moment when we will finally do ____________ (fill in the blank).
At the same time, I can’t help but think that many of us are wishing our lives away.
As the great philosopher, Dr. Suess, once pondered:
“How did it get so late so soon?
It's night before it's afternoon.
December is here before it's June.
My goodness how the time has flewn.
How did it get so late so soon?”
Yes, Christmas will be here before we know it.
And then the new year.
And then…. all of the other things.
My encouragement is for you is to find joy in today.
Right now.
In this moment.
In the middle of the mess and the chaos.
In his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus reminded us by saying:
We know it’s true, but are we living like it’s true?
Take a moment today to take stock and find joy right where you are.
I'm sure the book is great but I'll be honest and say I haven't read it yet.
However, something else struck me during the interview. General McChrystal was asked about strategic decisions that could have been better. Rather than point out failures of other leaders, he instead said it's the job of a leader to make the best of decisions that have already been made.
It reminded me of something I learned about Jimmy Collins, the former president and Chief Operating Officer of Chick-fil-A.
This approach is simple, but insightful. So often people, especially leaders, fall into one of two camps in their approach to decision-making. One group is fixated on intuition, trusting their gut to make the best decision. While the other fully relies on data, analytics, and research to guide them. There is a lot of ink (and energy) centered on the debate between those two approaches. Don't get me wrong; leaders should focus on making the right decision.
However, the fixation with the decision making process, without a focus on executing whichever decision was made, puts too much emphasis on one side of the equation. When the decision works out for us, leaders can be prideful, believing it was their good sense that made them successful. Conversely, when a decision is less successful, one might be tempted to throw their hands in the air and lament the "poor decision".
The reality is that there might not be a right decision or a wrong decision. Or even if there is a correct decision, it shouldn't be the end of the conversation. Collins’s perspective of decision-making is refreshing. He’s saying that we may not know if we made the right decision, but once we’ve made it, we need to do whatever we can to make it work.
We may not know if we made the right decision, but once we’ve made it, we need to do whatever we can to make it work.
Let me be clear. The decisions we make are not inconsequential. It’s important that we use our insights and instincts to try to make good choices. But at the end of the day, what we do once we’ve made a decision is what matters most.
So the next time you’re faced with a big decision, here’s my advice to you: Once you’ve decided, see the decision through. Don’t waffle. Stick to it. Even if it gets tough, keep going. Push through adversity. Overcome obstacles. Don’t quit.
Making the right decisions is impactful in leadership, but making the decisions right is essential.
I believe it’s worth sharing again, with some additional thoughts for 2021.
We all have different feelings about Thanksgiving.
For some of you, Thanksgiving means you’re going home, and home is a good thing. You’ve moved away from your family, and you’re thankful for this opportunity to spend time with them.
For others, Thanksgiving means you’re going home, and home is a sad thing. You’ve tried to escape your family, and now, you’re forced to confront the frustrations that come with being with them for an extended period of time.
For some of you, Thanksgiving is a welcomed break from work before the craziness of the holiday season starts.
For others, it’s the official beginning of your busiest season of work, and you dread working overtime, dealing with rude customers, and constantly restocking items for people to consume.
For some of you, this is your first Thanksgiving with a new spouse or a new baby. Your family is growing, and it’s an opportunity to start new traditions and be thankful for the gifts you’ve been given.
For others, Thanksgiving is a stark reminder that you’re still single or that you don’t have a child in your arms. It’s a reminder of the things you don’t have that you’ve hoped for and prayed for your entire life.
For some of you, Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful for your friend or family member who is coming home after serving in the military overseas.
For others, Thanksgiving reminds you how much you miss the one you’ve lost. The empty seat at the table is a harsh reminder of the space that person used to fill.
Regardless of what emotions move into our hearts and minds as we approach Thanksgiving,
Even though that one relative drives you crazy, this might be the last Thanksgiving before they receive a life-altering diagnosis.
If you knew this was the last Thanksgiving you were working in a retail environment, how would you approach this one differently?
Even though you’re ready to have someone by your side, this might be your last Thanksgiving with the freedom of a single person. How would you spend your time differently?
Even though you’re exhausted after Thanksgiving with small children—fixing plates, wiping messy faces, and skipping nap-times—one day, your kids will be grown, and things will look different. How can you enjoy this Thanksgiving in the midst of the chaos?
I am not naive enough to pretend that Thanksgiving, or the holiday season, is an enjoyable time for everybody. However, if we knew it was our last time with someone or that Thanksgiving would look different next year, would we stop and be a little more thankful?
The last 18 months have been some of the most challenging for many people. But here we are, as 2021 comes to a close, with another opportunity to take stock in where we are.
My hope for myself, and for you, is that we’ll focus on the bright spots and remember to stop to be thankful.
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” – I Thessalonians 5:18, ESV
but one of my favorites is our partnership with Chick-fil-A to create Chick-fil-A Leader Academy—a national high school leadership program that empowers and equips young people to make a difference in their local communities. Chick-fil-A Leader Academy is in more than 950 schools in 40+ states, and every year, we encourage all our students to participate in the “Big Thank You”.
Quick context: The “Big Thank You” is simple—first, we encourage students to find someone who has impacted their life. It may be a parent or a grandparent. It might be a teacher, or a pastor, or a coach. Then we ask students to thank that person, but to do it in a big way. What does big look like? Well, if you would normally text someone to thank them, call them instead. If you normally call them, write them a letter. If you would write them a letter, thank them in person. The point is to find a unique way to thank them and acknowledge their contribution to your life. We believe there is power in thanking the people that have helped you get where you are today.
I want to share a story with you about Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and how his expression of gratitude changed his former teacher’s life. This excerpt comes from my book 8 Essential Exchanges: What You Have to Give Up to Go Up.
“A few years ago, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas gave a compelling and unusual speech at a graduation. At most commencement ceremonies the speeches focus on the students’ achievements and their futures. But Justice Thomas did the reverse. He told the crowd to remember that the reason they had gotten to this point in their lives was only because others had sacrificed for them. Then he told a story about his eighth grade teacher. Years after he left the school, he returned to his hometown and went to her room to express his gratitude for her profound impact on his life. He said that since she had taught more than 40 years, he assumed he was among a long list of students who had come back to thank her. She told him, ‘No, you’re the first.’
When that teacher was 95 years old, Justice Thomas went to visit her at a retirement center in New Jersey. In her small room that day, she pointed out the things that were to be given away upon her passing: a rosary, a prayer book, and some other items. Then she pointed to a picture of her with Justice Thomas that sat on her nightstand. She picked it up, and holding it she said, ‘This goes in my coffin with me.
”The initiative to simply thank an eighth grade teacher changed her perspective and, ultimately, her life. It confirmed her calling and reminded her of how important her life and work was to her students. In all of her 40 years of teaching, no other student had come back to thank her for her hard work and sacrifice as an educator.
How many of us have gratitude that we never express?
Here are two powerful quotes:
It was great for Justice Thomas to share his thankfulness. Furthermore, his greatest form of gratitude to his eighth grade teacher was expressed in the way he chose to live his life.
Do you have unexpressed gratitude? Are you living a life that’s worthy of the investment other people have made in you?
Each of us can do the Big Thank You.
After you thank them, consider your own actions and strive to live in such a way that shows you are truly thankful.
Isn't it interesting how we often overlook the small things? Many times it's those little things that are left unresolved and end up causing us great challenges.
I'm reminded of a sermon I heard a few years ago from my friend Johnny Foster. His message was taken from the following verse, and it's power-packed with something we all need to hear
Alright, I know this seems out of place, but there's a message here, I promise. For context, Song of Solomon is a love story. In the verse above, there is certainly a message here that can help us with our relationships. However, I believe it can help us avoid other potential pitfalls, as well. This simple verse serves as a warning to heed the little things that can spoil our personal and professional endeavors.
This little warning interrupts a love story in its early days. Things seem blissful and exciting for the happy couple, but then we get this image of little foxes spoiling a vineyard. Foxes forage gardens for food, and often, they eat the plants before they ever reach full bloom. If a farmer is not careful to catch them or keep them away, these little animals can destroy an entire crop and have a huge impact on the farmer’s livelihood.
There is a reason that the verse uses the word “little” to describe the foxes here. Let me ask you a few questions to help put this in perspective.
1. Have you or anyone you know ever been bitten by a lion?
2. Have you or anyone you know ever been bitten by a dog?
3. Have you or anyone you know ever been bitten by a mosquito?
Most likely, you haven’t been bitten by a lion. (If you have, and you lived to tell about it, that’s a story I’d like to hear!) You may or may not have been bitten by a dog at some point in your life. But I’m willing to bet that you, and everyone else you know, has been bitten by a mosquito.
Think about it—A lion is so large and apparently dangerous, that you’ll take extra precautions to avoid being attacked by one. On the other end of the spectrum, the mosquito is much smaller. However, the smaller mosquito, one that doesn’t pose as severe of a threat, is one that we sometimes struggle to protect ourselves from.
Just like the little foxes in the vineyard and the pesky mosquitos at your backyard barbecue, it’s often the little things that pose the greatest threat to our personal and professional endeavors.
In everything we pursue, we need to be resolute in protecting the things most important to us. To do this effectively, we must keep out the little things that threaten to destroy us.
In the office, it’s keeping little disagreements from causing deeper divisions among your team.
In our workday, it’s preventing seemingly small distractions from taking you away from the most important projects.
In friendships, it’s preventing a busy season from turning into years of feeling disconnected.
It’s easy to put up safeguards against the big, obvious threats to our endeavors and relationships, but most often, it’s the little things we overlook that sneak in and destroy us.
Can you identify some small threats that could potentially hinder your personal and professional endeavors?
Work to catch them before they cause major damage to you and those around you.
I also enjoy hearing from people who receive these posts. Sometimes it's an encouraging response and others times it's people pushing back on something with which they disagree. I especially love it when someone shares an idea or something they've learned that might be valuable for my readers.
This post is inspired from one of those situations and includes a story shared with me by Maria.
Here's a story about adversity from an unknown author:
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me, what do you see?” “Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, mother?”
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity – boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?" Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?”
I had never heard this story before. Sure, I've heard plenty of illustrations and quotes on adversity. But I love the coffee example and angle.
Often we focus solely on whether adversity makes us softer or stronger. But in either of those situations, the focus is completely on ourself. Here's a question each of us should ask:
How does what I'm experiencing affect others?
How does my attitude affect my workplace?
How does my energy impact my family and friends?
How does this challenge I'm facing help me to be a better person?
So, this week, be like coffee and work to make the lives of others better! (Because everyone loves coffee, right?)
Over the last week, my daughter had her first birthday and my wife and I celebrated 5 years of marriage.
Last week I spoke to two audiences-- IN PERSON. It's great to have the opportunity to invest in teams and feel the energy of being in the same room, learning with other people.
And to top it all off, I'm getting to spend several days with my good friend Paulus Wiratno. If you've known me for a while, I’ve probably told you about Paulus, an incredible man who helps lead orphanages and plant churches in Indonesia. He and I co-authored The Lepers' Lessons a few years ago.
Which brings me back to today's topic. Over the weekend Paulus shared a message on Managing Stress and I believe there are some insights that each of us needs to apply in our lives:
I think we know that big conflicts create stress in our lives. However, we often overlook the small ones. Paulus used the illustration of how much an iPad weighs. He held his arm extended all the way with the iPad in his hand and remarked about the iPad would not be heavy to hold. He then told us that if he held the iPad for a long time (many hours or even days) that it would begin to cause pain.
His takeaway was that even the smallest things cause pain and stress when we hold onto them for too long. If you have any conflict with other people, work to solve it. Even if someone has wronged you, forgive them.
I get it. This is easier said than done. However, when you allow yourself to be consumed with worry, you add stress to your life.
Corrie Ten Boom famously said, "Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorry, it empties today of its strength."
What are you worried about? Does worrying help solve a problem? No. Instead, it just robs your joy.
If you're going to solve conflicts and resist worry, it's essential to keep your mind focused on good things. When the apostle Paul was writing to the church at Philippi he said, "...whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." - Philippians 4:8.
Paul wrote those words from a jail cell. He knew the importance of focusing on the positive and keeping out negative thoughts, even when his circumstances were challenging.
Here's the truth: In our world today, we all have a lot of stress. This message may seem simple, but it carries with it a lot of truth.
Make the choice today to solve conflicts with others, eliminate worry, and guard your mind.
I can't wait to share more lessons I've learned from Paulus next week.
P.S. If you live in Atlanta, Paulus is speaking to a group at the ADDO office tomorrow morning (Wednesday) for breakfast. If you'd like to join, send me an email and I'll give you more information.