These are some of my favorite words to hear. My son says them when he wants to do something that he knows he can’t do on his own. I love that he is so eager and so willing to ask for help when he needs it. I know it won’t always be that way.

When was the last time you asked for someone to help you? Here’s a thought:

If you want to get better, you better be asking for help.

If you want to play an instrument, you find someone who can teach you.

If you want to get in shape, you join a gym—and sometimes you hire a trainer.

If you want to get better in a subject in school, you work with a tutor.

Because I want to get better, I recently did something I said I would never do: I hired a coach.

To be honest, I’ve always been skeptical of the prospect of an executive coach or a business coach. Why would I hire someone who doesn’t have my job, to help me do my job? I am a firm believer in personal and professional development. I’ll read books, listen to podcasts, or even take a course. But hiring a business coach? That seemed absurd. Then I heard something that caused me to pause and reflect: You would never play a little league game without a coach, so what makes us think that we can get through life without one?

The big idea is that all of us could benefit from someone who is focused on helping us get better. And if you want to get better at leading an organization, it’s helpful to have a coach. Having a coach has not only helped me grow as a leader in my business, but it’s also helped me grow in other important areas of my life. Who knew a business coach would have as much positive impact on my home life as my work life?!Without focused development, we will never get better.

If you aren’t intentional about growing in your personal and professional life, you won’t.

Each of us need people in our lives who are committed to our development. It doesn’t matter if we call this person a coach, a mentor, or a friend, but we all need someone who is committed to encouraging and challenging us to get better in the different areas of our lives.

Here is a short list of the invaluable things coaches can do for us:- They reinforce our strengths.- They challenge us when we need it.- They hold us accountable.- They help us see the bigger picture.- They help us clarify our goals.- They increase our engagement in the work we’re doing.- They help sharpen our leadership skills.- They ask us to think more deeply and intentionally.

Maybe you’re a new parent and need to find someone you respect to mentor you in this important role.

Maybe you're wanting to get in shape, but nothing has worked. It’s time to find a trainer or at least a workout buddy.

Maybe you’re a new teacher and need to ask the seasoned teacher down the hall if they will watch you teach and provide you feedback.

Or maybe you’re leading a business, and it’s time to invest in a business coach.

You don’t have to pay a coach to grow, but you do need someone in your life who is intentionally helping you develop both personally and professionally.

Find someone and ask them to help.

We may not call them these names, but we each have something we are aiming for—for our businesses, our families, and ourselves. You might be working to roll out a new strategic plan at work. Maybe you’re just trying to eat healthier and lose some weight. Perhaps you have a focused financial goal and are working hard to get out of debt. Or maybe you just want to get your toddler potty-trained!

From the biggest goals down to just the things we want, preparation is crucial to success. If we are truly serious about achieving something, we need to be as serious—if not more serious—about how we prepare for it.

If we are truly serious about achieving something, we need to be as serious—if not more serious—about how we prepare for it.

Abraham Lincoln famously said, “If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first six hours sharpening my axe.” In other words, if what we are trying to achieve is important, our preparation is equally important. It may even take more time to prepare for the work required to achieve our goals than the time it takes to actually get it done.

American businessman and New York Times best-selling author Harvey McKay takes it one step further:

I subscribe to the wisdom of the oft-quoted sports maxim [Vince Lambardi], “The will to win is not nearly as important as the will to prepare to win." Many people have the will to win, but they aren't willing to put in the hard work and time required to become great at something. What makes this even more challenging is that preparation is not a one-time thing. You can't prepare to win once and then just let success flow. Great performers possess the will to prepare to win over and over again.

For those of us who are not naturally prone to prepare (hand raised here!), McKay’s words are especially challenging. Preparation is hard work, and it’s required to achieve something great. But it can’t just be a one-time thing. On-going success is tied to ongoing preparation. If we want to be people who achieve our goals, we have to be people who are always preparing.

On-going success is tied to ongoing preparation.

Before the final session of our ADDO team retreat last month, I sat down with Elizabeth, our chief of staff, and we asked three questions for the rest of our team. After they leave this retreat, what do we want them to know? How do we want them to feel? And what do we want them to do? We decided to write down these goals, and they looked something like this:

KNOW: We want our to be confident of ADDO’s future, of our financial position, and aware of all of the projects and initiatives underway.

FEEL: We want them to feel inspired, challenged, and refreshed.

DO: We want them to be motivated to personally develop in order to help our organization grow.

We prepared in advance what, and how, we would communicate with our team, with the hope that they would work to prepare themselves for ADDO’s future.

So what is your goal, aim, or dream? Are you preparing yourself for it? Take some time this week to evaluate how you can strategically prepare to achieve your personal and professional goals.

If you have, you know how frustrating it can be and how easy it is to misunderstand or to be misunderstood. Within our organizations or our teams, it’s also important that we speak the same language. We may all be speaking English, but are we really understanding each other?

Whether your team is reading the same book, attending the same retreat, listening to the same podcast, or participating in the same training, they are sharing an experience. They are not only learning about the same thing, but they are also developing a common language around what they are learning. They are processing the same words and the same ideas in the same framework. This allows them to communicate with one another more effectively and connect what they have learned to everyday experiences in the workplace.

At ADDO, we have a common language around new ideas or fresh perspectives in the work we’re doing. We call these lightbulb moments. Not only is it a goal for our individual team members to experience lightbulb moments for themselves, but it’s also one of our team’s collective goals to create lightbulb moments for the people we serve. We initially created the courses for 8 Essential Exchanges and The Lens this past year in order to help individuals and groups take these books to a deeper level. Our focus was on promoting the value of the content—because we believe content is incredibly valuable. But what might be equally as important is that both courses provide an opportunity for a group of team members to share an experience and learn about the same things at the same time. Both courses give a group of individuals a common language around things like vision, culture, obstacles, and profit—providing every member of the team a way to meaningfully contribute to conversations about these important topics.

Here’s my question for you today:

Have you intentionally helped the people you lead create a common language?

As a leader, you may feel like your list for how best to lead your team is a mile long, but this is an easy thing to add to your list because it’s simply a happy side effect of intentional team development. Here are some examples of things you could do depending on the nature of your team:

You and your spouse could read a parenting book together, so you are able to grow together as you connect your own experiences with your children to what you are learning.

Every member of your sales team—from the senior-most sales associate to the newest member of your team—could attend the same training seminar, so you all could apply the same techniques to your current practice and generate productive discussions around what’s working and what’s not.

You are leading a small group of individuals at church who have mentioned a desire to grow in evangelism, so you could work through the same book together and even practice sharing the gospel with one another. This provides a way for you to talk about your experiences and helps you encourage one another to grow.

If you are leading a team and are already working to intentionally develop your team and create a common language, keep it up! But if you aren’t and are looking for a place to start, I would love for you to check out my books and courses: 8 Essential Exchanges and The Lens.

Shared experience combined with a common language unifies a team, clarifies communication, and paves the way for your team to leave a lasting impact.

In it, we unpack an ancient story from the Old Testament about four lepers who stare death in the face and choose to step out in faith.

Isn’t it interesting how impending death has a way of clarifying your purpose? When you’re faced with death, decisions seem easier. The right choices seem more clear. Paulus tells the story of his battle with cancer in The Lepers' Lessons, and for him, this season was a wake-up call. After facing death, he knew how he needed to reorient his life.

Impending death has a way of clarifying your purpose.

Last week, I shared that I had lost two people I care a lot about. The first one was Shauna D'Agostino, a lifelong family friend, who died tragically in a car accident at the age of 42. The second was Andy Smith who lived a full life and died at the age of 86. Because Andy was a grandfather to me, I shared 10 lessons I learned from his example. Due to the overwhelming response of last week’s blog, I felt the need to expand on what I said in today’s blog.

Eighty percent of the time, I am talking about leadership. I am talking about how to build a healthy corporate culture, how to clarify your vision, or how to get scrappy. I believe leadership is important—it’s why I spend so much time talking about it!

But there are times like last week when leadership seems secondary to life. It’s in these moments that I take a step back and ask myself these questions that Paulus and I first asked in The Lepers’ Lessons:

- Why am I alive?

- Why do I do what I do?

- Why do I have what I have?

- Who is going with me?

- What am I carrying?

‍

Maybe you didn’t have the same experience I did a couple of weeks ago, but maybe 2020 has spilled over into 2021 for you. You may be anxious and scared for our country, discouraged, depressed, or maybe even just tired. Whatever the case may be, I hope you’ll take the time to ask yourself these questions and work to gain clarity about your purpose this year.

This clarity isn’t about dwelling on death, but rather, it’s about helping us live our lives to the full—because one day, we will die.

If you have been along on this journey with me for a while, you’ve probably already read The Lepers’ Lessons, but if you haven’t, I encourage you to pick up a copy and learn these timeless truths from four lepers in the Old Testament.

Get The Lepers' Lessons Here

Last week was one of those for me. I know many friends who are sick and hurting. The COVID surge has begun to affect our office. And last week was marked by the passing of two people I care a lot about.

The first one was terribly tragic. Shauna D'Agostino, a 42-year-old wife and mother of two was killed in a car accident. I grew up in church with Shauna, she would babysit me, and we love her and her family.

Two days after that, the man who was basically my grandfather, Andy Smith, passed away. I say basically because it wasn't by blood, but since my grandfather passed away when I was five, Andy and his wife Carolyn have been grandparents to me. Andy was 86 and lived a great life. On Friday, I shared at his funeral 10 lessons I learned from his example. After that service, I decided to totally rewrite this week's blog because these are lessons we all need to hear.

So, here you go. Ten of the greatest things I learned from Andy Smith:

‍1. Life's too short not to have fun.

Some of you need to read that again.

‍2. Take the trip.

While we shouldn't spend frivolously, we need to remember that we can't take things with us. When you have an opportunity for an experience or a trip with people you care about, take the trip.

‍3. Generosity is not something you do, it's who you are.

What we have been blessed with in life is not to increase our standard of living, but our standard of giving.

What we have been blessed with in life is not to increase our standard of living, but our standard of giving.

‍4. You can love the past without living in it.

It's fine to reminisce and enjoy the good old days, but don't get stuck there. We must move forward.

‍5. Say what's on your mind.

Admittedly I don't always do this well, but Andy was willing to tell us what we needed to hear even if we didn't want to hear it.

‍6. Be loyal in the good times and bad times.

Loyalty doesn't waver based on circumstances.

‍7. Fall in love, stay in love.

Andy and his wife Carolyn were married for more than 59 years. Love is a choice, and one we should keep making.

‍8. Put your family first.

When you come to the end of life, no one cares about your job or the things you've acquired. If family matters most then, it should matter most now.

‍9. Friends are the family you choose.

Right after family, it's so important to have good friends. Invest in the relationships now and those just might be your friends for life.

‍10. Put your faith in Jesus.

I often talk about faith in a broad sense in this blog. I want to be aware that readers are coming from many different places. However, Andy's faith wasn't generic—it was specific, and it was rooted in a relationship with Jesus.

There's an old song that says,

"Thank you for giving to the Lord, for I am a life that was changed. Thank you for giving to the Lord, I am so glad you gave."

Andy changed my life, and I'm forever grateful for the time I had with him. We'd all be so fortunate to have a life as impactful as his.

I challenge you to take these lessons to heart this week and work to put them into practice in your own life.

There are many adjectives that go in front of the word entrepreneur, but one that I’ve come to appreciate is scrappy. If someone calls you scrappy, it’s kind of a nice way of saying that you don’t really have the knowledge or resources you need to accomplish your goal, but you’re going to push through and make it happen anyway.

This is why we call a rookie a scrappy fighter or a scrappy player in sports. They are gritty, resilient, driven, and going to win, even if they don’t have the best tools or abilities. The fact that they are the underdog only makes them more eager to throw themselves into the game.

But there’s one more important characteristic of being scrappy. Most of the time, scrappiness is not something you choose. People who are scrappy have no other option. These individuals are forced to think critically and creatively in a way that a person with all the resources in the world doesn’t have to. Ross Perot, known for being a famous billionaire who ran for president, said something simple and profound about his wealth: "The more money I have, the stupider I get."

In other words, the more resources you have, the less resourceful you will be.

The more resources you have, the less resourceful you will be.

My hope is that this blog will encourage those of you who find yourself in a position where you’re forced to be scrappy. I hope you’ll see the challenges you’re facing as a gift because they are making you better in the long run.

Being scrappy forces you to:

1. Minimize Waste:

If former Chick-fil-A president Jimmy Collins noticed a member of his team throwing away a paperclip, he would reprimand them. It wasn’t so much about the paperclip, as it was about the mindset. He wanted his team to understand that you don’t treat things you could use again as disposable. Scrappy people don’t waste things.

2. Maximize Resources:

The small amount of money, the little team, that little bit of time you have to take a project to the next level—scrappy people stretch to its fullest potential. You work to make sure you are squeezing all of the juice out of the resources you’ve been given and in turn, are able to better appreciate what you have been given.

3. Be a Good Steward:

Have you ever heard the Parable of the Talents? It’s a passage of Scripture where Jesus tells his followers about what it means to be a good steward. In it, he tells the story of a man who goes on a journey and entrusts his talents (which is another word for money) to his servants. To one he gives five, another he gives two, and to the last he gives one. What’s interesting in this story is that the servants he entrusts the most to are actually the scrappiest. They work hard, invest, and bring their master a return on his investment. But the one he gives one talent to in the beginning only gives him back the single talent. It’s an encouragement that those who have been given many resources have the ability and calling to be scrappy too!

Scrappy people are good stewards of their resources.

If you are in a situation where you don’t have the money, people, and support you wish you had, I want you to take heart in what you do have. Having less may make you better, wiser, and more strategic than you think. Being scrappy is a gift.

On the other hand, if you’re in a season where you find yourself with many resources, it may be time to trick yourself into being scrappy. Find ways to sharpen your creativity and critical thinking skills, so you can be agile and ready to face any future obstacles that come your way. Don’t allow your resources to prevent you from minimizing waste, maximizing resources, and being a good steward of the things you’ve been given.

Whether it’s my position at ADDO, the way I am volunteering at church, or my role in my family, I want to make a conscious effort to focus more on the ways that I am contributing to something greater than myself. My individual roles are important, but they matter most because they’re working for the good of others.

Hall of Fame football coach Vince Dooley is a mentor, friend, and hero of mine. The year he led the Georgia Bulldogs to win the National Championship his team’s philosophy was BIG TEAM, little me. The idea was that the team’s success was most important, and it depended on everyone’s contribution. An individual player may be the star of the moment, but he knows that he wouldn’t have been able to make the play without the help of the other players on the field. A few years ago, for our Chick-fil-A Leader Academy program, I interviewed Coach Dooley at the College Football Hall of Fame.

Check out this story where I ask him about the BIG TEAM, little me approach: https://vimeo.com/491760025/c1dd9cc4eeI want to adopt this same BIG TEAM, little me mentality this year.

My role matters, but I can’t be successful without the other people on my team.

For the 2000 Olympic games, Tommy Lasorda had a similar philosophy for his gold-medal winning USA baseball team. How do you get a group of star professional athletes—who have never played together before—to work together to win? Lasorda decided to take a page from The Yankees playbook and take the athletes’ names off their jerseys. Winning the Olympic gold medal was not about individual achievement. It was about the team, and ultimately, about representing the United States.

But athletics isn’t the only realm where a BIG TEAM, little me philosophy results in success. The Coca-Cola Company has always championed their brand. To Coke, recognition of the brand is more important than the recognition of an individual person. When former president Robert Woodruff was named Man of the Year, he didn’t want just a photo of his face on the cover of a magazine. He wanted the brand to be emphasized. He was only about 20% of the cover, while a large image of Coca-Cola’s brand with cartons of Coke behind him was the remainder of the photo. He understood that he was just one man, a part of something bigger than himself.

How do we follow these iconic examples? How do we make it not about us? The things we do matter a lot. Who we are matters a lot.

But real impact happens when who we are and the things we do are oriented toward something bigger.

It’s easy to shift to one of two extremes on this spectrum. On one end of the spectrum, we can be self-important, and the things we do are all about us. When we fail on this end, it’s all personal, and we’re left feeling empty. But on the other end of the spectrum, you don’t think what you do is important. This is also dangerous because it can be an excuse for mediocrity—and that’s certainly not what this blog is promoting.

BIG TEAM, little me is about pursuing excellence in your individual role for the good of your entire team. Success for all is success for you. You have an important role to play, but just remember, it’s not about you.

In addition to our individual experiences, most of us will remember the coronavirus pandemic, the November election, and the racial unrest in our country. At the end of this year, we will hear messages about how we can take these experiences, both the good and the bad, and we will be better next year because of them.

When someone tells you there is value in experience, it’s a nice sentiment but it’s only partially true. Real value comes from evaluated experience. It’s not enough to simply go through something. Instead, we must intentionally take time to look back, reflect, and learn from our experiences in a way that makes us better.

Real value comes from evaluated experience.

As I look back on 2020, and look ahead to 2021, here are three blogs from this year that reflect specific lessons I learned and want to carry with me into this new year:

1. The Cow and the Buffalo

Instead of leaning into my people-pleasing tendencies, I want to be more willing to tackle conflict head-on. The different ways a cow and buffalo face a storm remind us that when we face a challenge head-on, the consequences are often fewer and the resolution certainly comes more quickly.

2. Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

This year has been uncomfortable, but challenges stretch us to grow us as individuals and organizations. There is no flipping the switch back to normal after this year. Instead of lamenting my circumstances, I want to lean in, get better, and get comfortable being uncomfortable.

3. Everything Speaks

Small things often communicate something much bigger. In 2021, I want to identify the small things in my personal and professional life that are speaking and make sure they are saying what I want them to say!

I’ve heard it said that when a leader gets better, everybody wins.

You only have a few days left in 2020. As you look forward to 2021, I hope that you’ll work to be better than you were last year.

For some of us, it’s been months since we’ve seen people we love. Headlines are hitting closer to home as COVID numbers spike. We’re more worried every day about the people in our lives who are most at risk. Parents wait to hear if their kids’ school will be in person or virtual after the break. Some of us are wondering if church life will ever feel normal again. Others are tired of hearing about the election and the Senate run-offs in January (especially where I live in Georgia). And others are dreading logging onto yet another virtual team meeting this week.2020 has worn all of us down in one way or another. We’re longing for normal, but “normal” isn’t the best anecdote for our weariness.

The thing our weary souls most need is hope.

It is amazing what happens when human beings experience hope. It is a thrill when it happens today, and it was a thrill when it happened more than 2,000 years ago. After 400 years of silence, God finally spoke to his weary people through the cry of a little baby named Jesus.

In a field nearby that little manger, shepherds tended their sheep. Crooks in hand, they watched over their flocks late into the night. Suddenly, the black night sky burst with a brilliant light, and they fell to their knees in fear. But the comforting voice of an angel rang through the air:

“Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy…”

The shepherds’ own weariness melted into celebration at this miraculous news. The hope of a Savior lay in a manger nearby, and they were going to see him!

I love the way this song captures it:

‍O Holy night, the stars are brightly shining;

It is the night of our dear Savior’s birth.

Long lay the world in sin and error pining,

Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth.A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

‍There are many things for which to be hopeful, but perhaps the greatest is a baby born in the town of Bethlehem more than 2,000 years ago.

As we approach the end of 2020, let the thrill of hope, found in the reason we celebrate Christmas, ease your weariness. May He be every bit as exciting and comforting to you today as He was to the shepherds when He was born.