It was a devastating day for Alabama fans and a joyous occasion for every college football coach, player, or fan who has ever been a victim of his success.

Throughout his storied career, Coach Saban has frequently made statements that apply far beyond the football field. Here’s one of my favorites: “You’re going to suffer through one of two things in life: either the pain of discipline or the pain of disappointment.” This truth drove him and his players to focus on process and preparation and to outwork their competition year after year. Saban is right. Life is hard, and pain is inevitable.

But the question is this:

Will you pursue the pain of discipline or endure the pain of disappointment?

Think about it. The degree to which you are disciplined has a correlation to how often you are disappointed. There are times we will face disappointment due to factors outside of our circumstances. However, greater preparation often leads to decreased pain. Gary Player said, “The harder you work, the luckier you get.”

All of us want life to be pain-free. We want things to come easily to us, and if we’re being honest, we don’t want to have to go through the blood, sweat, and tears necessary to accomplish something great. But if we want to accomplish anything of value, we’re going to experience the pain of discipline. Otherwise, the pain of disappointment is waiting for us. Discipline is initiated by you.

Disappointment is initiated for you and to you.

You’re disappointed by your failure to meet your weight loss goal again this year.

You’re disappointed by the stack of books on your nightstand that you haven’t got around to reading.

You’re disappointed by your performance review, outlining the same areas for growth your supervisor addressed last year.

You’re disappointed by your lack of deep friendships; though, you can’t remember the last time you reached out to a friend about spending time together.

You’re disappointed that another year went by without you pursuing that idea.

More often than not, disappointment reveals areas where you need to grow in discipline.

Discipline can be initiated by you.

Here are three practical steps toward discipline:

1. Identify the areas of your life where you need to grow.

‍Discipline starts with direction. This may be many areas, and if so, that’s OK. Take one or two to focus on first, and you’ll be surprised by how developing habits of discipline in one area of your life can increase your discipline in other areas. The principles of discipline are the same, even if they look different when applied to different things.

2. Set specific goals to grow.

Once you’ve identified where you need to grow, make some goals to define what growth looks like and stick to them. Read for 20 minutes a day. Exercise three days a week. Respond to emails within 24 hours. Create an innovative solution for a problem at work by a specific date. You get the idea.

3. Celebrate the process of growth.

Remember, discipline comes with pain. It’s not going to be easy, and it may not come quickly. But it’s going to be worth it. Celebrate growth. One way to do this is to share your discipline goals with someone you trust (maybe a mentor or a close friend) and to update them through the highs and lows of developing a certain discipline. They can encourage you on your journey and help hold you accountable when you want to give up!

When we understand the connection between discipline and disappointment, we can take the first step toward the future we want to create.

The high stakes meeting next week has you stressed, working late hours.

You received a call last week about your child struggling in school.

Your annual review is looming, and you’re anxious about what your supervisor will say.

You need to have a hard conversation with a friend whose life is spiraling out of control.

The sales deadline is looming, and you’re working overtime to meet it.

You got in a fight with your spouse this morning, and you need to address it after work.

The HVAC unit in your home has finally given up, and you need to pay a fortune to replace it.

There is a lot of pressure in your life. It can feel like it’s coming at you from all sides—above you, beneath you, and around you—at work, at home, at school, at church, and wherever life has you. It’s immense, and it often feels crushing. But I want to remind you (and me) of something important: Pressure is a privilege.

Pressure is a privilege.

I know. It sounds simplistic and way too optimistic. You’re probably thinking: Really, Kevin? But hear me out:

If you feel pressure, it means that the things you are doing are meaningful.

If the things you’re doing didn’t matter, there would be no pressure. If the stakes weren’t high and the implications not far-reaching, it wouldn’t matter what you did. But because you have important roles and significant work to do, your life comes with pressure.

Here are the facts:

1. You have pressure.

2. Pressure is a privilege.

3. You need to press on.

We find a strong statement in Scripture after Paul was reflecting on a particularly challenging situation in his life and ministry. Paul said it this way, “I press on toward the goal...” (Phil. 3:14).

That’s my encouragement for you today.

Whatever your calling or station in life, press on.

Don’t let the pressures of life stop you from pressing on to the high calling you have in your life. Remember, pressure is a privilege, so press on.

This is a constant question for me. I love biographies, books about business, and books about leadership. I look forward to new books and concepts. However, there are a few classics that I go back to over and over again. One of my favorites is the first leadership book I read in college: The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John C. Maxwell.

All 21 laws are excellent, but the one that has stuck most firmly in my mind for the last 20 years is Law #5: The Law of EF Hutton.

Some of you reading are thinking, "Who the heck is EF Hutton?” (And those of you not wondering are probably over the age of 50). Let me set the stage: EF Hutton, a financial company, ran an advertising campaign in 1970’s and early 1980’s. In the commercials, two people would be talking in a crowded area (like an airport or a park on a nice day) about what their broker says about a certain kind of investment. Inevitably, one of the people will respond with, “Well, my broker is EF Hutton, and EF Hutton says . . .” At this moment, all of the hustle and bustle around them stops, everyone grows silent and leans in to hear what this person is going to say. The narrator concludes the commercial saying, “When EF Hutton talks, people listen.” John Maxwell calls Law #5 the Law of EF Hutton to illustrate this principle: When real leaders speak, people listen.

When real leaders speak, people listen.

A “real leader” is a leader with personal power, not just positional power. This is a person whose voice carries weight. Think about your last team meeting and the most influential voice in that room. When this person shares something, it has an effect on the other people present (positively or negatively) because they naturally influence the people around them.

I remember vividly who this real leader was in an organization I was involved with in college. If she liked an idea and expressed approval, everyone was on board. If she didn’t, it wasn’t going to happen. I quickly learned that if I was going to accomplish my agenda as the positional leader, I needed her in my corner. Before I presented a new idea or strategy to the group, I began to solicit her feedback first. This made all the difference in my ability to influence my team. It wasn’t enough to have positional power. To win the hearts and minds of the others, I needed to leverage personal power.

When you learn to identify those individuals with true influence, your effectiveness will increase exponentially.

But I’d challenge you to take it a step further: Work to become that kind of leader. If your goal is to build personal influence, regardless of your position, I’d encourage you to focus on three areas:

1. Character:

If people trust your character, they will be more eager to listen to what you have to say. To put it simply, do you do what you say you’re going to do? Often leaders over-promise and under-deliver. Be a person who keeps your word, and others will believe what you say is true.

2. Consistency:

This is related to character, but it’s proven over a period of time. When you are consistent, the people you lead know what to expect from you and are more likely to listen to what you have to say.

3. Candor:

People like honesty. They appreciate it when you don’t mince words, but tell the truth unapologetically. Peggy Noonan says, “Candor is a compliment; it implies equality.” When you’re up front with people, you are able to develop trust more effectively. If you’re not the real leader in the room, don’t be discouraged. You have a voice, and you can be heard.

First, be strategic by gaining the support of the real leader in the room. If they support you, you will naturally gain influence.

Second, and more importantly, become the real leader in the room by cultivating character, consistency, and candor in the way you lead and communicate with your team.

Don’t forget: When the real leader speaks, people listen.

When asked how we did it, my most consistent response was “We don’t buy cheap toilet paper.” It was a funny response, but it was meant to illustrate a simple truth: We take good care of our people.

Today, I want to highlight another simple truth, but it has far-reaching implications for our interactions with our clients and customers.

Here it is:

Pick up the dang phone.

If your organization delivers a product or service to clients and customers (I would say this is the majority of us), you have likely received an email expressing disappointment. Maybe they were unsatisfied with the product. Maybe they thought the service advertised wasn’t what they received. Maybe your response time wasn’t fast enough. Whatever the case may be, our natural reaction is to start drafting an email in response.  

After all, this provides you ample time and space to think through and write out a counter-argument that defends your position. It sounds like a great plan, right?

Wrong.

When you receive bad news and need to respond…PICK UP THE DANG PHONE.

I recently saw a post on LinkedIn that unpacked the benefits of phone calls over emails. It explained that when a person makes a phone call in response to an email, they immediately establish a closer connection with the recipient and have natural tangential conversations that lead to more relational capital.

Not only do phone calls help to diffuse conflict, but they often reveal other underlying issues that may be exacerbating the situation.

You might think a client is upset about one thing, but then you learn something else is going on in their business that is causing strain. Or you may learn that the person who just sent the disgruntled email has a mom in the hospital and is going back and forth from the office to her bedside.

This principle doesn’t just apply to the corporate setting. This is true for the teacher who receives a disgruntled email from a parent about their child’s recent test grade: Pick up the phone.

This is true for the church leader who receives an email outlining the problems with the children’s ministry: Pick up the phone.

This is true for you when your sibling sends a passive-aggressive text about your most recent holiday gathering: Pick up the phone.

Our relationships matter, inside and outside of the workplace. The best way to strengthen them and work through conflict, disagreement, and disappointment is to skip the impersonal email and text message response. . . and just pick up the dang phone.

Before we dive in, let me be clear: money matters. But our motivation matters more.

If money is what gets you out of bed in the morning, you’re going to be more loyal to your bank account than to your employer.

But how does life look different if our job is tied to an important mission?

If you signed up to serve in the US military, there is certainly financial compensation. But, there are many jobs with higher pay and better benefits. If you are signing up to serve in the military, it’s because you have a desire to serve your country and fight for the people in it. And without a doubt, if an enemy military offered you more money to fight for them, you would be disgusted by the prospect. Why? Ultimately, your work is about the mission.

In ADDO’s early days, we knew everyone was there for the mission—because we couldn’t afford to pay them more than the company down the street! Fortunately, as ADDO has grown, our ability to increase compensation has grown. However, profit cannot be the biggest aspect of our value proposition. Purpose has to be paramount. David Salyers, former Vice President of Marketing at Chick-fil-A, recently shared this truth with our ADDO team: “When the exchange between employer and employee is all about money, we turn our employees into mercenaries who’d quickly sell their services to the highest bidder.”

“When the exchange between employer and employee is all about money, we turn our employees into mercenaries who’d quickly sell their services to the highest bidder.” – David Salyers

As leaders, we must connect people to our mission, not just the money. If the only thing we’re doing to fight for talent is to offer them more money, we are playing a risky game that we will probably lose. Some people will say focusing on mission is fluffy and superfluous, but I’ve worked with enough organizations to know that if your talent strategy is only about money, you will struggle to retain talent.

Mission isn’t just a feel good thing. It’s also not a manipulation tactic—it must be authentic. When done correctly, mission creates employee engagement and loyalty over the long haul.

Money definitely matters, but mission matters more than money.

Spend some time this week reminding folks in your organization why you do what you do.

A word of caution: I’m about to use a Biblical example to illustrate a principle. I’d encourage you to read the passage, but I also believe that it has application regardless of your faith perspective. Recently, I was studying Matthew 4 and noticed something about this passage that I have never seen before. In the accounts of the life of Jesus, right after he was baptized, a voice from heaven said (from God), ‘This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased’” (Matt. 3:17).

What’s fascinating, is in the very next section labeled “The Temptation of Jesus” his identity is questioned. Jesus was challenged with this statement: “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread” (Matt. 4:3).

Think about it: the attack on Jesus was directly related to his identity.  In one verse we hear “this is my beloved Son” and right after we get, “If you are the Son of God…”

‍Consider this: if the identity of Jesus was challenged, you can bet that each of our identities will be challenged as well.

Many people today are questioning who they are because their identity is not secure.

In other words, their identity isn’t rooted in something unchanging. Too many of us allow different people, different times, and different mediums to define us. The attacks on our identity can come in many shapes and sizes. Here are three of the most common things that cause all us to question our identity:

1. Struggles:

When we face challenges or difficult circumstances, it’s easy to question who we are. When we struggle in school, don’t get into college, get passed over for the promotion, or are in a failing relationship, we can question our identity because life looks so much different than we hoped it would.

2. Situations:

When we want the situation of another person, it can cause us to question our identity. Am I as smart as he is? Am I as pretty as she is? How much money are they making? When we are measuring our identity by what we don’t have, we can question who we are.

3. Success:

This may seem counterintuitive, but when we experience success we can base our identity on our achievement. When we compare ourselves to other people who appear to have less than we do, we wrongly find our identity in our success and rest in our own pride. This is a dangerous way to view ourselves. When legendary basketball coach Jimmy Valvano was in the final days of his life, he reflected on an interaction he had with his players as a young coach. His players asked, “Why is winning so important to you?” And he responded by saying, “Because the final score defines you. You lose, ergo, you’re a loser. You win, ergo, you’re a winner.” But his players insisted: “No, participation is what matters. Trying your best regardless of whether you win or lose—that’s what defines you.” Twenty-four years later, Valvano said, “Those kids were right. It’s effort, not result. It’s trying . . . What a great human being I could have been if I’d had this awareness back then.”

George’s t-ball coach said this year, “Our number one goal is to have fun, but it is a lot more fun when you win.” He’s right! And it’s certainly not wrong to want to win. But if your identity is based on winning or losing, it’s based on a moving target.

If your identity is based on winning or losing, it’s based on a moving target.

Here’s my encouragement: The world is looking for centered leaders. Leaders who know who they are. Leaders who are anchored in their values, driven toward a mission, and fueled by a purpose. Don’t allow struggles, situations, or success define you.

Find your identity in something bigger than yourself.

Aaron, who leads sales and marketing, began his portion by describing his journey to ADDO. He first entertained the idea of joining the team because he deeply respected his good friend, Elizabeth, who had been with ADDO since its early days. As Aaron recounted the pitch to him, one piece struck me: Elizabeth shared that Garrett and I, the co-founders of ADDO, saw the world as malleable. In other words, we were just crazy enough to believe we could actually change the world. Most people view life as something that just happens to them. They believe they can control their responses, but they don’t believe they have any real control over their circumstances. However, there are people who view life differently. There are those who believe they have agency to make things happen.

Businessman and software engineer Marc Andreessen explained it this way: "The world is a very malleable place. If you know what you want, and you go for it with maximum energy and drive and passion, the world will often reconfigure itself around you much more quickly and easily than you would think."

Marc Andreessen explained it this way: "The world is a very malleable place."

Too many believe they are incapable of achieving great things, so when they have an idea, they put it up against their laundry list of “what if’s” and settle for something less. What if someone beats me to the finish line?

What if I can’t raise enough money?

What if I can’t motivate my team?

What if I fail?

‍Tim Ferris has some helpful thoughts on this phenomenon. He says, “Ninety-nine percent of the world is convinced they are incapable of achieving great things, so they aim for the mediocre middle-ground.

The level of competition is thus fiercest for ‘realistic’ goals, paradoxically making them the most time and energy-consuming.

It is often easier to raise $10,000,000 than it is $1,000,000. . .Unreasonable and unrealistic goals are easier to achieve.” Here’s my question: Do you have a desire to change the world around you in a big way?

Stop believing the lie that you can’t.

You have agency. You have ability. And I believe you have a responsibility. The world needs you to do something. Your family, your work, your community, and yes, the larger world needs you to act. So take a chance. Go for it. As the Romans would say: “Fortes fortuna adiuvat!”Fortune favors the bold.

All of these organizations have unique stories and cultures. Most operate in different fields of work and are looking for different kinds of talent. In a one week period, I will have spent time with an elementary school staff, leaders from a billion dollar business, a local church staff, and a Board of Directors. While the groups are different, they all share a similar problem: They don’t have enough great people on their team. Or they wish some of their people were higher caliber.

So they ask, “How do I attract more people?” or “How do I attract better people?”

My answer might not be the most encouraging one, but it’s the truth:

We reproduce what we have, not what we want.

This advice is not glamorous. It’s not an exciting approach or an easy strategy, but it is the most effective one if you choose to accept it. If you are going to attract a higher caliber of talent, you must develop the people you already have. Make the people on your team the kind of individuals who will inspire the new talent you want. The solution isn’t easy, but it is simple and straightforward. Here are three steps to grow the people on your team in order to attract new talent:

1) Invest in the talent you have. Encourage individuals in their strengths. Provide them tools and opportunities to pursue professional development. And most importantly, connect your people to the purpose. It’s your job to help each individual understand how their role is vital to your organization fulfilling its mission.

2) Level up your leaders. Seventy percent of an employee’s experience is based on a relationship with their immediate manager. It might be worth reading that last line again.

If you want a better frontline team, you must elevate the frontline leaders. Teach them how to communicate effectively, how to handle conflict, and how to establish trust.

3) Become a place where people can contribute.

Don’t mistake compliance for contribution.

If you are going to attract and retain talented people, create a space where their unique gifts can be exercised. Every great person wants to add value, so encourage creativity and resourcefulness and celebrate when people use their gifts to contribute to the larger work of your team.

If you’re struggling to get better people in the door, start with who you’ve already got. Focus on their strengths, invest in intentional leadership training, and give them an opportunity to contribute. When you do those three things, you take the first step to becoming the type of organization that the people you’re looking for are looking for.

We are making plans and our calendars are filling up with what we hope to do. However, the only thing that is certain about this year is that some things will not go as planned. In our individual lives, challenges will inevitably arise, and obstacles will fall in our path.

On the macro level, we could face broader challenges. It might be a new health scare, a new war, another surprising uptick in inflation, elevated political tension . . . more bad news.

I’m not trying to start your year on a down note, so here’s the good news:

For leaders, uncertainty presents a unique opportunity for you to exercise your gifts, talents, and strengths.

Think about it: It’s in challenging times that the world most needs bold, courageous leaders. Consider two heroes from history with me. During World War II, Winston Churchill used his ability to communicate to embolden and guide Britain through some of its darkest days. Without his presence, conviction, and ability to rally his people, their country may not have had the courage to do what needed to be done to win the war.

Martin Luther King Jr. is considered by many to be the most consequential leader of the Civil Rights Movement. Not only did he use his gift of communication to stir the hearts of people to fight for a day when men and women “will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” But he also organized some of the most significant marches and protests of the movement.

Leaders emerge most prominently when things are confusing and chaotic.

This principle applies beyond leaders of countries and movements. It’s true in businesses, schools, and communities. In every group of people in the world, we need leaders to help us in challenging times. As you prepare for 2024, anticipate potential obstacles and prepare to lead when things are hard.

‍Here are three actions of a strong leader in crisis:

‍1. Stand up when others are sitting down. Strong leaders do not follow the crowd or base their actions solely on the approval of others. They allow their personal convictions and values to have the final say in their decisions.

2. Develop a gritty mentality. Strong leaders have the mental grit necessary to push through difficult obstacles and make it out on the other side. They are like the Little Engine that Could. They keep climbing the hill saying “I think I can” until they reach the crest and cruise down the other side.

3. Surround yourself with people who complement your weaknesses. This means that you put people around you who are strong in the areas where you are weak. None of us can lead well in isolation. We need a team of committed people to help us reach our goals.

I hope 2024 is a great year for you. And I trust that when challenges arise and chaos ensues, that you’ll use your gifts to be a positive force.

Don’t forget: the world is looking for leaders. And they might just be looking for you.