I also enjoy hearing from people who receive these posts. Sometimes it's an encouraging response and others times it's people pushing back on something with which they disagree. I especially love it when someone shares an idea or something they've learned that might be valuable for my readers.

This post is inspired from one of those situations and includes a story shared with me by Maria.

Here's a story about adversity from an unknown author:

‍

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me, what do you see?” “Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity – boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?" Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?”

‍

‍When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?

I had never heard this story before. Sure, I've heard plenty of illustrations and quotes on adversity. But I love the coffee example and angle.

Often we focus solely on whether adversity makes us softer or stronger. But in either of those situations, the focus is completely on ourself. Here's a question each of us should ask:

How does what I'm experiencing affect others?

How does my attitude affect my workplace?

How does my energy impact my family and friends?

How does this challenge I'm facing help me to be a better person?

When we focus on others, even our most difficult circumstances can be a catalyst for positive change for others.

So, this week, be like coffee and work to make the lives of others better! (Because everyone loves coffee, right?)

Over the last week, my daughter had her first birthday and my wife and I celebrated 5 years of marriage.

Last week I spoke to two audiences-- IN PERSON. It's great to have the opportunity to invest in teams and feel the energy of being in the same room, learning with other people.

And to top it all off, I'm getting to spend several days with my good friend Paulus Wiratno. If you've known me for a while, I’ve probably told you about Paulus, an incredible man who helps lead orphanages and plant churches in Indonesia. He and I co-authored The Lepers' Lessons a few years ago.

Which brings me back to today's topic. Over the weekend Paulus shared a message on Managing Stress and I believe there are some insights that each of us needs to apply in our lives:

1) Solve Every Conflict:

I think we know that big conflicts create stress in our lives. However, we often overlook the small ones. Paulus used the illustration of how much an iPad weighs. He held his arm extended all the way with the iPad in his hand and remarked about the iPad would not be heavy to hold. He then told us that if he held the iPad for a long time (many hours or even days) that it would begin to cause pain.

His takeaway was that even the smallest things cause pain and stress when we hold onto them for too long. If you have any conflict with other people, work to solve it. Even if someone has wronged you, forgive them.

2) Don't Worry:

I get it. This is easier said than done. However, when you allow yourself to be consumed with worry, you add stress to your life.

Corrie Ten Boom famously said, "Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorry, it empties today of its strength."

Corrie Ten Boom famously said, "Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorry, it empties today of its strength."

What are you worried about? Does worrying help solve a problem? No. Instead, it just robs your joy.

3) Guard Your Mind:

If you're going to solve conflicts and resist worry, it's essential to keep your mind focused on good things. When the apostle Paul was writing to the church at Philippi he said, "...whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." - Philippians 4:8.

Paul wrote those words from a jail cell. He knew the importance of focusing on the positive and keeping out negative thoughts, even when his circumstances were challenging.

Here's the truth: In our world today, we all have a lot of stress. This message may seem simple, but it carries with it a lot of truth.

Make the choice today to solve conflicts with others, eliminate worry, and guard your mind.

Make the choice today to solve conflicts with others, eliminate worry, and guard your mind.

I can't wait to share more lessons I've learned from Paulus next week.

P.S. If you live in Atlanta, Paulus is speaking to a group at the ADDO office tomorrow morning (Wednesday) for breakfast. If you'd like to join, send me an email and I'll give you more information.

This is an incredible group of people that I had the chance to speak to 5 years ago, and I'm fortunate they've asked me to come back. Right now, the members, predominantly grocers, are facing some serious challenges.

However, the challenges aren't unique to them. In fact, they are issues felt by many businesses across the United States: rising costs, supply chain challenges, and trouble finding talent. The last issue is the one I plan to address today.

If you don't have enough quality people to work in your organization, there are two key drivers:

1. You're not getting enough people through the front door (it's a recruitment and hiring issue) Or
2. You're not keeping the people you have (it's a development and retention issue)

‍

Unfortunately, there are no quick and easy answers for either of these challenges. However, there are some steps everyone can take, and it starts with looking at who you currently have.

It's tempting in this season to lower your hiring standards and just take whoever you can get. I once gave an example of a grocery store manager who had extremely low expectations for his potential team members, and this was before the current talent crunch. He even told me, “If someone can put a sentence together and tie their own shoelaces, I will hire them.”

There's a dangerous slippery slope when we keep hiring the wrong individuals. This makes it even more difficult to break out of this cycle and hire the talent we desire.

Here’s why:

We reproduce what we have, not what we want.

John F. Kennedy once said, “The same is true for people. Once you've settled for subpar talent it becomes increasingly difficult to find people who fit your standards."

I've shared a study from the University of North Carolina’s Kenan-Flagler Business School. They performed a survey that asked younger workers to state what they are most looking for in a new job. Of the students they polled, 65% said they are looking for an opportunity for personal development.

The talent we desire is looking for an opportunity to grow in a new job. If we know potential employees are looking for personal development, and they look at our organization and see individuals that lack motivation, discipline, and ambition, then why are we surprised when we can’t get the people we want?

I know this is difficult, especially in this season, but it's more important than ever to invest in resources to develop your employees.

Until you develop the people you have, you’ll never attract the people you want.

If you’re the manager of a team, work to help your team members reach their full potential.

This is also true outside of the business world.

If you’re the pastor of a church, encourage your congregation to grow in their faith, so you’ll attract other people eager to learn and impact others.

If you organize volunteers for a nonprofit, continually share your passion for the mission to help develop more eager and effective volunteers.

If you are a student recruiter for a university, showcase the kinds of students you desire to enroll.

Developing and hiring great talent takes intentional time and hard work, but the rewards are worth it and will have a lasting positive impact on your organization.

Last week we talked about qualities of a great mentor. I received a few responses from would-be mentors who were frustrated with the lack of intentionality by others seeking mentorship.The story goes something like this: a person asks someone further along in their journey for help. The (typical, but not always) older person agrees. The would-be mentee shows up with no questions, nothing prepared, and expects the mentor to do all the work. News flash: it doesn’t work this way!There are many things I haven’t done well in life; enough to fill these blog posts for years. However, one thing I’ve made an effort to consistently do, is seek wisdom from others further along on their journey. [highlight ] Just like there are qualities of great mentors, there are specific things we can do, as we seek wisdom. [/highlight]I realize I still have so much to learn. With that in mind, here are three steps you can take to glean wisdom from other people. 1. Actively seek it out.Intentionally place yourself in positions and opportunities where you can glean wisdom from other people. One of the ways I do this is by choosing to attend a church with older people, so I can grow and learn from those who have walked through more life than I have. I also try to seek wisdom from great books, podcasts, videos, and blogs from people I respect and trust. I find that I most actively seek wisdom when I am tired of trying to be a “know-it-all”. I don’t know it all. You don’t either. It’s much more freeing and beneficial to surround yourself with people who know more than you do.2. Ask the right questionsOnce you have surrounded yourself with people you want to learn from, don’t expect them to just spout wisdom. Instead, ask them questions. So much wisdom comes from simply asking good questions. For example: What happened to bring you here and why? Why did you make that decision? Why did you choose to do that? What was the result?3. Apply what you learn.This may seem obvious, but seeking wisdom is a complete waste of time if it stays in your mind. When wisdom moves from your head to your hands and you apply what you have learned, it has a profoundly positive impact on your life and the people around you. [ctt template="2" link="ydc30" via="no" ]One of the ways to show you value what you’ve learned is by actually putting the principles into practice. @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]To gain wisdom, actively seek it out, ask the right questions, and apply what you learn.This week, take some time to think about ways you can actively seek wisdom in your daily life. Ask the following questions: 1. From whom do I glean wisdom? 2. What are good questions I can ask? 3. How can I intentionally apply the things I learn?Here’s to seeking wisdom!

The news was significant for a number of reasons, but mainly because Chick-fil-A has grown to be such a prominent player in the restaurant industry. Reading the news had me reflecting on Truett’s legacy and reminded me of the short time I was able to spend with him when he was alive.

While Truett was most known for founding Chick-fil-A, I love this story of how the Winshape Foundation was born. Had it not been for one major decision, we may have never witnessed the full scope of Truett Cathy’s generosity through this organization, one that has changed thousands of lives.Here's how it began: Truett was invited to speak to classes at Berry College outside of Rome, Georgia, and during his visit, he and his wife Jeanette were shown a beautiful piece of property—lush green hills, a magnificent chapel, stone dormitories, a library, a gymnasium, and a classroom building. Unfortunately, it all sat empty and unused. With a cost of $2 million a year to maintain that area of campus, Berry College desperately needed to sell the property.This piece of land was the original site of Martha Berry’s vision—a boarding school for children who had no other access to education. Mrs. Cathy said that “she felt like she was on holy ground,” and both she and Truett felt God calling them to purchase the land and use it to help others.The next day, Truett was so excited to pitch his idea to the Chick-fil-A Executive Committee, but they weren't nearly as excited as he was. As a wise leader, when he could see they weren’t catching his vision, he took them to see the property in person. After seeing it firsthand, the committee was even more sure it wasn't a good idea and they discouraged him from purchasing the property.Truett thanked the members of the Committee for their honest opinion and insight, but he decided to buy the property anyway. In doing so, Mr. and Mrs. Cathy created the WinShape Foundation, with a mission to “create experiences that transform,” and that’s exactly what they have accomplished since its inception. From summer camps to foster care to marriage retreats, WinShape works to teach truth and equip people from all walks of life. The goal of Winshape is simple: to shape winners.Alright, this is not just a blog about a foundation. I believe there's a principle for each of us here. Had Truett Cathy followed the advice of Chick-fil-A’s Executive Committee, WinShape might not exist today.[highlight] Truett understood this: your calling is not left to a consensus vote.[/highlight]Think about this: How many dreams have died due to consensus-driven decisions?Please understand me—I’m all for consensus, when possible. When we can align people and gain agreement, it’s always best. However, consensus decisions are often the lowest common denominator of decision-making. We water down things enough to get a group of people to agree, but we fail to accomplish what’s most important.If you have a vision, you can’t allow the goal of consensus to keep you from your calling. As a leader, a parent, a pastor, or a business owner, you will sometimes see things differently than others around you. You have a unique position and vantage point, so you might see things others simply do not.[ctt template="2" link="DAUdf" via="no" ]Consensus-driven decision-making might increase your popularity but may decrease your potential. @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]Consensus-driven decision-making might increase your popularity but may decrease your potential. As you compromise to please specific people in the larger group, your vision becomes less focused and less effective. It becomes more about collective agreement than lasting impact.Here me out: Consensus is a good thing! But remember that your vision might not always make sense to everyone else in your business, church, or family. The Chick-fil-A Executive Committee was full of people whose hearts were in the right place. They loved Chick-fil-A and the Cathy family and were trying to make the best decision. However, God entrusted Truett Cathy with a special vision. I’m thankful he did what was best, not what was popular.Is there an area in your life today that you need to press on even if it's not popular? I hope you'll have the courage to take the next step and trust that your God-given passion has a purpose.

Some of the most successful and influential people of our time had mentors who challenged their thinking and pushed them to grow. Steve Jobs had Robert Friedland, Warren Buffet had Benjamin Graham, and Mark Zuckerburg had Donald Graham.There are a lot of ways we can develop ourselves. However, it’s tough to come close to the road-tested wisdom offered by someone who’s walked the road before.A great mentor not only lives to tell their own story, but can successfully guide others along the same path to help them avoid similar pit-falls & mistakes.I’ve been so blessed to have mentors like that in my life. I wouldn’t be where I am today without having men like Vince Dooley, Ike Reighard, and Mike Linch, who have invested in me and encouraged me along the way. Recently I’ve been thrilled to learn from our Senior Pastor at church, Randy Cheek, who has great wisdom.Their input has been invaluable, revolutionized my thinking, and pushed me beyond the boundaries of my own perceived limitations.So, whether you are seeking a mentor or are looking to be one, what makes a mentor effective? I believe the top 3 qualities of a great mentor are:1. Great Mentors Are ReputableFirst and foremost, a mentor should have integrity that is above reproach. All of the success in a field can’t compensate for a lack of character. After you’ve covered that base, it’s valuable for a mentor to have success in the areas where you most need support. It might not be the exact same field, but it’s essential that a mentor has a great reputation for being an expert in their field, and that they have the ability to guide you in the right direction.[highlight] All of the success in a field can’t compensate for a lack of character. [/highlight]2. Great Mentors Ask Great QuestionsThere’s a common misconception with mentors. Too many people believe that the mentee is the only one asking questions while the mentor spends hours spouting their wealth of wisdom. Experienced mentors will ask probing, open-ended questions. Their goal isn’t always to produce quick answers, but rather to make you think. Find someone who will not only share their insights, but who also cares enough to challenge you to think. Which brings me to the final point...3. Great Mentors Challenge Your PerspectiveI love it when a mentor uses their experience to remove roadblocks and unlock the potential in any given situation. Great mentors draw on past experiences and have the ability to see what you may not be able to see because you’re too close to it. A mentor can show you something that helps change your perspective and shift your way of thinking.[ctt template="2" link="UeTkg" via="no" ]A mentor can show you something that helps change your perspective and shift your way of thinking. @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]There’s plenty more I could add to this list, but each of these are essential.Two questions for you:

1. Have you (or do you currently) have a mentor who invested in your life?
2. Who is someone that could provide wisdom for you? Don't be afraid to ask. Make the call, send the email, and have the conversation! The worse thing they can tell you is no.

If you’re reading this and you feel like you’re ready to give back, I’d challenge you to choose to be a mentor to someone else. Take the time to invest in the next generation. You can continue to build your legacy by being a bridge builder for someone coming behind you.

I wish I could eat really healthy for a couple of days and magically drop inches off my waist. Or lift weights for several hours straight one day and actually pack on muscle.

Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. Doing something really intensely for a short period of time doesn't produce sustained results. Instead, we need consistency over a long period of time to truly transform our health.

The same principle applies in many areas of life, and it definitely applies to building leaders and high-performance cultures.

You can't host a one day offsite and expect to develop high level leaders.

You can't have one fun event and think your culture will be positive.

You can't only create big moments and fully build trust on a team.

Said another way:

You can't compensate for a lack of consistency with a burst of intensity.

Consistency is doing the small things daily.

Consistency is not just saying you care but showing you care.

Consistency is creating an environment where individuals are encouraged to be their best.

Consistency is a culture where people hold each other accountable.

Consistency matters.

Most leaders focus on intensity, but the greatest leaders focus on consistency.

Intensity is valuable. There are times we need grand gestures and exciting moments. Culture is created in the mundane, consistent experiences.

Here's my challenge: Think about the consistent habits and practices that you need to put into place, to ensure an environment, where leaders are developed, and people are highly engaged?

Once you've identified them, start doing them and DON’T STOP.

It's not glamorous, but it's consistent. And consistency will matter most.

[highlight]The word accountable is comprised of two parts: account and able.[/highlight]To account for something is to measure. The word accounting is used to describe the measuring, processing, and reporting of financials. Furthermore, if someone is held to account for something, not only has it been measured or evaluated, but the person is made to explain why they did it. Sometimes being held to account even involves punishment.The second part is the word able. Able is having the power, skill, or means to do something.When you put them together, being accountable looks like someone, or something, holding your feet to the fire. If you're accountable then you're measured against what you committed to do.We all need accountability. Sometimes it's a system, a technology, or even just self-discipline. However, more often than not, most people need someone or some external force to help us hit our goals.Bob Proctor says it this way, “Accountability is the glue that ties commitment to the result.”[ctt template="2" link="eBy3H" via="no" ]Bob Proctor says it this way, “Accountability is the glue that ties commitment to the result.” @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]We need it professionally and we need it personally.Where do you need to seek accountability?Working out.Learning a new language.Working collaboratively.Listening to others.Reading the Bible.Putting down your phone.Investing in your family.Eating healthier.Studying for an exam.Hitting a deadline.Getting out of debt.Yours might be on this list or it might not, but each of us have areas where we need accountability.Here's my challenge for you this week:1. Find one area you need to seek accountability.2. Create a goal in that area (one that is specific and has a deadline)3. Put a system in place to hold you accountable (that system might just mean asking someone to help).I’m working to seek and invite accountability, even when I don’t want it.

But there’s one thing most people forget about values: they cost you something. They wouldn’t be values if they weren’t valuable, and anything that has worth will cost you something to get.

What if a person, or a team, claims to value excellence? On the surface, it seems like your typical, run-of-the-mill value, that any organization would claim to aspire to. However, excellence comes at a price. Sometimes the pursuit of excellence requires you to sacrifice expedience. Excellence means you can’t cut corners. Doing something quickly is nice, but if we truly value excellence it might take longer.

Or take, for example, the value of grit. While every team would like to have gritty people, many individuals don’t want to forego an easier path. Being gritty means rolling up your sleeves and doing whatever it takes to get things done.

[highlight] A question each of us should ask: what do I value so much that I’m willing to sacrifice for it?[/highlight]

The people we most respect have strong values for which they are willing to sacrifice.

Our military members sacrifice everything because they value freedom.

Educators sacrifice the opportunity to make more money because they value students.

Missionaries sacrifice the comfort of their own homes to move to foreign lands because they value their faith.

It’s not just individuals who make sacrifices for values, but purpose-driven organizations should be willing to, as well. When you say you value something, you are drawing a line in the sand and committing to give up things in pursuit of those goals.

That means when you have a high performer on your team who doesn’t fit your values, you must have the courage to let them go.

Every organization has values. The good ones have them written down. The great ones actually live by them.

[ctt template="2" link="B0bm0" via="no" ]Every organization has values. The good ones have them written down. The great ones actually live by them. @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]

I’m thankful to be surrounded by people who hold fast to their values. I saw it modeled by my parents, I see it on display daily at ADDO, and I see it at my church.

Here’s my challenge: Get clear on your values. Ground yourself in those values. And decide now that you will commit to those values, regardless of the cost.