To be transparent, I’ve thought about it more than I probably should have. I’ve never been one to really focus on birthdays, but this one feels different. I’m sure those of you further along in your journey are rolling your eyes right now. I get it that life isn’t over. However, I can relate to Norman Corwin’s sentiment from his book The Ageless Spirit, where he said, “I remember now that the toughest birthday I ever faced was my fortieth. It was a big symbol because it said good-bye, good-bye, and good-bye to youth.”

Much of my identity has been wrapped up in my youth:

Writing the first book at a young age.

Being the youngest speaker at the conference.Creating leadership programs for the next generation. I also realize that 40 brings lots of opportunities. Corwin went on to say, “But I think that when one has passed through that age it’s like breaking the sound barrier.

”As I reflect on the first 40 years, here are some truths I’m carrying with me into the next phase of life:

1. It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.

2. Obedience is more important than feelings. Ike Reighard says, “The great doors of opportunity swing on little bitty hinges called obedience.”

3. Conformity: Doing what everyone else is regardless of what is right.

Morality: Doing what is right regardless of what everyone else is doing.

4. The most important things in life aren’t things.

5. If you have a pulse, you have a purpose.

6. The best way to know God is to spend time with Him.

7. “Fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life.” – Donald Miller

8. If you want to change the world, you have to break the rules. Remember, Orville Wright never had a pilot’s license.

9. In order to make a difference you have to be different.

10. My kids are growing up fast. I need to enjoy each season. Yes, even the hard, frustrating, exhausting ones.

11. Don’t be afraid to like what you like.

12. Take the trip.

13. You can love the past without living in it.

14. Loyalty to those you love is good in the good times, but essential in the tough times.

15. My dad always said: If you’re going to be stupid, you’ve got to be tough.

16. Choosing your friends is choosing your future. “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” – Proverbs 27:17

17. “People will always try to stop you from doing the right thing if it is unconventional.” – Warren Buffett

18. “Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.” – Francis Chan

19. “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” – Corrie ten Boom

20. Find ways to make memories and visit them often. Cesare Pavese says, “We do not remember days, we remember moments.”

21. You can’t change that which you tolerate.

22. Stop chasing the next thing. The next paycheck, the next client, the next book, the next country, the next house. Too much focus on what’s next makes you wish your life away.

23. Success is not measured in the money you make or the recognition you receive, but more so in the lives you touch and the impact you have.

24. My favorite Zig Ziglar quote, “The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now.”

25. There is no better way to see the world changed than to be a part of changing the world. Get off the sidelines and do something to change the world.

I hope these resonate with you. More importantly, I hope I’ll have the courage to practice what I preach.

I’m thankful for each of you in my life. Many of you who receive this list are friends, fellow church members, colleagues, and other incredible people I’ve met along the way.

To be clear: Speaking is not my full time job. But as an extension of my work at ADDO, I get to speak often, and I really enjoy it. It is a gift that I am grateful to use whenever I get an opportunity.Because I’m asked about this so frequently, I decided to answer this here. And the advice I have has implications far beyond speaking. So: Should I speak?Well, it depends…1. If you’re speaking more to be impressive than impactful, the answer is No.[highlight]Don’t speak just to say something, speak because you have something to say.[/highlight]If your primary motivator is to experience the thrill of someone clapping at the end of your talk, you should not speak. To be honest, I enjoy the affirmation of others, so I am often asking myself this question: “Is my primary goal to be impactful or to be impressive?” When the latter becomes more important than the former, I am off track. Check your motives before you agree to speak.2. If you actually have something to say, the answer is Yes.Dr. Nick Morgan, Harvard professor and expert on public speaking, says, “The only reason to give a speech is to change the world.” His argument is that every time you stand in front of a group of people, you have the power to affect their perspective. Any group in any room. Whether a team meeting, a town hall, or a Sunday school class. [ctt template="2" link="3JF5l" via="no" ]“The only reason to give a speech is to change the world.” –Dr. Nick Morgan @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]Former President Barack Obama once said, “One voice can change a room. And if one voice can change a room, then it can change a city. And if it can change a city, it can change a state. And if it can change a state, it can change a nation. And if it can change a nation, it can change the world. Your voice can change the world.”Whether or not you like Obama’s politics, no one should deny his gifting as a speaker and that his words move people profoundly. And he is right in this statement. Your voice matters, so if you have a gift for public speaking, decide to use it for the good of other people.Your decision to stand up and speak could change the world.

The idea behind the podcast is that being a dad is probably more stressful than we’d like to admit, and we need some encouragement to be intentional and to do it well. Guys don’t naturally initiate or have these kinds of conversations with one another, so we are providing a space to share and get the conversation going.

The opening episode of Legacy Makers is all about building a lasting legacy as a dad—why it’s important and where to start. In it, Eric used an Ernest Hemingway quote to emphasize why we’re starting this conversation. In his book The Sun Also Rises, one character asks, “How did you go bankrupt?” The other responds, "Two ways. Gradually, then suddenly."

“How did you go bankrupt?” The other responds, "Two ways. Gradually, then suddenly." –Ernest Hemingway

This principle applies far beyond fatherhood (and bankruptcy). A person’s life doesn’t typically go off the rails in an instant. It’s usually a long, slippery slope. Sometimes it's so gradual that we don’t even notice.

The Casting Crowns song “Slow Fade” depicts this truth well. The chorus goes:

‍It's a slow fade

When you give yourself away

It's a slow fade

When black and white have turned to gray

And thoughts invade, choices made

A price will be paid

When you give yourself away

People never crumble in a day

It's a slow fade

‍

Small things matter because they will gradually build up into big things.

This truth impacts our choices as fathers, but it should also influence every aspect of our lives.

This is why consistency is key to being the kind of father, husband, friend, and leader that I want to be over the course of my life.

Consistency is doing the small things daily.

Consistency is not just saying you care but showing you care.

Consistency is creating an environment where individuals are encouraged to be their best.

Consistency is a culture where people hold each other accountable.

Consistency matters.

Whatever you do, be intentional in small but important ways.

You don’t wake up one day and realize you have a strained relationship with your child. Start asking good questions today.

You don’t wake up one day and randomly decide you want a divorce. Pursue your spouse and choose to love daily.

You don’t wake up and realize your business has no revenue. Pick back up your outbound sales efforts.

You don’t walk into your office and are shocked to find a dysfunctional culture. Work to set the temperature of a better environment for your team.

You don’t look around and feel shocked to find that you have no friends. Pick up the phone and reconnect.

Focus on the little things you need to do now, so you don’t have regrets in these important personal and professional pursuits in the future.

If it’s too nice, he won’t invest. Why? Because it signals to him that their focus is on the wrong things. In a company’s early days, investing in a cush office is the wrong place to put what limited resources they have. New companies are broke, and they need to experience a season of scrappiness to grow in ways that will prepare them for bigger obstacles down the road.

In ADDO’s early days, everything was scrappy.

We were borrowing office space, working long hours, and doing every job that needed to be done ourselves. We didn’t have any money, so we had to work with what little we had to get the company off the ground. Would I have liked to have more money at our disposal? Absolutely. But there were positive aspects of being in this season. There were benefits to being broke.

Ross Perot, known for being a famous billionaire who ran for president, said something simple and profound about his wealth: “The more money I have, the stupider I get.”In other words, the more resources you have, the less resourceful you will be.

The more resources you have, the less resourceful you will be.

I want this to be an encouragement to those of you who find yourself in a position where you’re forced to be scrappy. And if you find yourself in an organization with abundance, create an environment where you work to simulate scarcity in order to make better decisions. In other words, find a way to reap the benefits of being broke!

Limited resources force you to:

1. Minimize Waste:

If former Chick-fil-A president Jimmy Collins noticed a member of his team throwing away a paperclip, he would reprimand them. It wasn’t so much about the paperclip, as it was about the mindset. He wanted his team to understand that you don’t treat things you could use again as disposable. Scrappy people don’t waste things.

2. Maximize Resources:

The small amount of money, the little team, that little bit of time you have to take a project to the next level—scrappy people stretch their assets to their fullest potential. When you work to make sure you are squeezing all of the juice out of your resources, you are able to better appreciate what you have been given.

3. Be a Good Steward:

Have you ever heard the Parable of the Talents? It’s a passage of Scripture where Jesus tells his followers about what it means to be a good steward. In it, he tells the story of a man who goes on a journey and entrusts his talents (which is another word for money) to his servants. To one he gives five, another he gives two, and to the last he gives one. What’s interesting in this story is that the servants he entrusts the most to are actually the scrappiest. They work hard, invest, and bring their master a return on his investment. But the one he gives one talent to in the beginning only gives him back the single talent. It’s an encouragement that those who have been given many resources have the ability and calling to be scrappy too!

Scrappy people are good stewards of their resources.

If you find yourself in a situation where you don’t have the money, people, and support you wish you had, choose to see this season as an opportunity and not just an obstacle. Being broke may make you better, wiser, and more strategic than you think. Being broke is a gift when it forces you to grow in resourcefulness.

As you find success, and the success yields more resources, work hard to keep the mindset of stewardship that helped you get there!

While slaves fled for their freedom on the Underground Railroad, Harriet Tubman told them, “If you hear the dogs, keep going. If you see the torches in the woods, keep going. If there’s shouting after you, keep going. Don’t ever stop. Keep going. If you want a taste of freedom, keep going.” Tubman knew that no matter what was behind them, their only chance at freedom was to keep moving forward. She knew that surrender meant death or a lifeless existence, but that moving forward meant a chance at life.When there is a crisis, the best leaders challenge people to be persistent despite their present circumstances. [ctt template="2" link="oiH43" via="no" ]When there is a crisis, the best leaders challenge people to be persistent despite their present circumstances. @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]What has 2024 been like for you so far? None of us can change a single thing that has happened. We can’t go back. We can’t start the year over. But we can learn from what has happened, make adjustments, and commit to giving the rest of the year all we’ve got.We all need to be reminded that:We can’t control the economy.We can’t control the culture wars in our country.We can’t control the wars waging overseas.We can’t control the rejection from a potential promising client.We can’t control the cancer taking the life of a loved one.But we can control how we approach the rest of the year. We can make the right choice. We can choose: to Give Up or to Keep Going. Option 1: Give Up. There are many frustrated and tired people who have decided to throw in the towel and write off this year. Just chalk it up to a lost year. And they have already mentally given up. I get it. When we experience, crisis, loss, or hardship, we want to swallow the pill and move on. We don’t want to wade through the mess to see what good might be on the other side. But we must. [highlight]Giving up is the wrong choice.[/highlight]Option 2: Keep Going. How should we face the mounting obstacles of this year? We should Keep Going. In Philippians 3:14, Paul states: “I press on toward the goal…” Like Paul, we can keep going because we have a purpose to pursue. As a company, ADDO has clients and customers who depend on us. And we have a mission to inspire people today to impact tomorrow. What about you? What is your purpose—both professionally and personally?While you may feel like you want to give up, remember your purpose and Keep Going. Keep moving forward because the world needs what you have to offer.

Today, I want to talk about charisma. Charisma is a characteristic of a winsome individual, and it’s no mystery why it’s attractive to others. Charismatic people make the people around them feel important. They make whatever cause or work they stand behind appear more exciting and meaningful. They have a hopeful, passionate, and positive demeanor that is contagious to the people they lead.

Charisma can grant you opportunities, can help you make friendships, and can even land you a dream job. . . but charisma isn’t everything.

Charisma can get you into places, but only character will keep you there.

Charisma is a good thing, and it’s advantageous to cultivate in yourself and the people you lead. But I want to give you a word of caution: Don’t let your charisma outpace your character. This will lead to a crisis, and people will find you out.

We must always be intentional about consciously cultivating our character.

Here are three ways to cultivate your character where you are today:

1. Integrity:

‍The word integrity comes from the root word integer, meaning whole. It means there is only one you; what you say and what you do are the same. Integrity means not wavering based on the changing tides of the culture or even the various opinions of others. Upholding your integrity in the face of challenges inside and outside of your organization is essential to maintaining a strong character.

2. Consistency:

‍Say what you mean and follow through, every time. This one feels so simple, but is often the hardest quality of character to cultivate. Maintaining consistency shows others that you are a man or woman of your word. It shows you are faithful to your team and to the shared vision you are working toward. Consistency will help you grow in trustworthiness.

3. Candor:

‍Be honest, even when it’s not popular. This is challenging for me, when I really want others to like me. However, dancing around the truth to save people’s feelings or to protect yourself is unwise and will be a lid on the growth of your organization. Teams need their leaders to speak with candor and clarity. This prevents confusion and helps you row your boat in the same direction toward your shared goal.

‍

British statesman John Morely said it well: “No man can climb out beyond the limitations of his own character.”

Charisma may have helped you get where you are today, but your character will determine what you’re remembered for as a leader.

Don’t underestimate the value of character, and work to cultivate it daily in yourself and the people around you.

In ADDO’s early days, Garrett and I were invited to NEXT (Chick-fil-A’s annual conference) to represent our new program, Chick-fil-A Leader Academy. We were there with thousands of Operators and staff members, and I distinctly remember that Tim Tassapoulos, the president and COO of Chick-fil-A at that time, came up to us, greeted us by name, and introduced us to his wife Maria.Ask anyone who knows him, and they’ll point out that Tim is incredible at remembering names. This small act of intentionality made a lasting impression on me. Not only did Tim make us feel seen and valued in a sea of people we did not know, he won me over and made me look up to him as a leader—even more than I already did!What other actions help leaders win with people? Here are four ways you can strengthen your connections with the people you lead.1. Be winsome.Winsome means “attractive or appealing in appearance or character,” and it’s a word I’ve heard more frequently in recent years. If someone is winsome, something about their demeanor or character attracts others to them. They are charming, cheerful, or engaging, and often their presence makes others feel warm and welcome. My opening example of Tim Tassapoulos displayed his winsome demeanor, and this is a quality we should seek to cultivate in ourselves and the people we lead. If our demeanor and character are attractive to others, it will be easier to influence them for good.[highlight]A simple way to be winsome is to smile more often.[/highlight]2. Encourage often.We all need encouragement, and the best leaders encourage often. The prefix “en” means to put something into something else. When someone is an encourager, they are using their words to put courage into another person.You’re likely reading this email on your phone. Switch over to your text messages and send someone an encouraging text now!3. Create memories.One of the most effective ways to win with people is by helping them create meaningful memories. This means that leaders are willing to do things that are out of the ordinary. At ADDO, we’re intentional about taking two team retreats each year. During these times away from the office, we seek to create memorable moments for us to share. We believe that in order to do something remarkable, you have to do something worth remarking about. As I’ve said before, people don’t remember days, or even hours, they remember moments.[ctt template="2" link="cn4Q5" via="no" ]People don’t remember days, or even hours, they remember moments. @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]4. Revisit memories.You can’t revisit memories until you have made them, but revisiting shared moments is an impactful way to win with the people you lead. Bringing someone back to a shared memory can create an emotional connection that fosters camaraderie and a sense of belonging within your organization.In order to be effective, leaders must win with people. Are you winning with the people you lead? Find ways to foster the four things listed above and take steps toward strengthening these important connections today.

He writes, “The single most powerful pattern that I have noticed is that successful people find value in unexpected places, and they do this by thinking about business from first principles instead of formulas…” Whether your involvement is with a business, a community organization, a school, or a church, it’s vital to think about WHY you do what you do even more than HOW you do what you do. When you are guided by clear principles, it simplifies your decision-making process. We have several new folks on the ADDO team, and they are incredibly talented. The reality is that we look much different than we did a decade ago, which is a good thing. Healthy things grow, and things that grow change. Our processes are better. Our outcomes are better. However, many of the principles that led ADDO to where we are today have not changed. Below are three of those:

1) Influence that Leads to Action:

‍When asked to define leadership, John Maxwell has famously said, “Leadership is influence, nothing more nothing less.” I believe Maxwell’s definition is half right. If leadership is nothing more than influence, then why do we need the word leadership at all? Why not just use the word influence?

I believe leadership is influence that leads to action. We have witnessed time and time again that beliefs impact behaviors. Effective leadership moves people from belief to care to action. Think about it. We all believe that there are certain animal species going extinct, but this belief doesn’t move us all to action. What moves people? When they actually care. Effective leaders are able to influence beliefs in a way that impacts behavior.

I believe leadership is influence that leads to action.

2) Every Vision Starts with a Burden:

‍ADDO is the Latin word for inspire, and we exist to inspire people today to impact tomorrow. One way we do this is by helping individuals and organizations identify, clarify, and communicate their vision. Each vision starts with a burden. Consider these questions:

What ticks you off?

What injustice do you see?

What could be better in your neighborhood?

What would make life easier for those you care about?

Our burden led us to high school students. Abraham Lincoln said, “The philosophy of the school room in one generation will be the philosophy of government in the next.” In order to have a lasting positive influence on the future, we knew we needed to reach young leaders while they were at a young age. This is why we partnered with Chick-fil-A to create Chick-fil-A Leader Academy. Through this program we have been able to impact hundreds of thousands of high school students all over the country, and ten years later, we are seeing the fruit of lasting impact.

3) Business is a Vehicle to Change the World:

‍I know a lot of people who are passionate about making a difference, but too few of them see business as a mechanism to do that.

Business is not just a way to change the world—I believe it’s the best and most effective way to change the world.

John Mackey, the former CEO of Whole Foods, said it this way: “This is what we know to be true: business is good because it creates value, it is ethical because it is based on voluntary exchange, it is noble because it can elevate our existence, and it is heroic because it lifts people out of poverty and creates prosperity.” Business is about so much more than making money. Businesses are vehicles of change, and they have the power to do immense good to their local communities and the world around them.

Even as our business changes, these principles guide the way we think about the work we do. Whether you are a business, a school, a church, or a nonprofit, identify the principles that are guiding lights for you; then use these principles to leave a lasting positive impact beyond the four walls of your organization.

This means that we don’t only focus on marketing campaigns geared toward the consumer. It means that we also work on material that is employee-facing—like onboarding and training—to help bolster employee satisfaction and performance in a way that will ultimately impact the customer’s experience.Every once in a while, our work will overlap with an organization that has a strong connection to community affairs or social responsibility, and we need to shift our strategy to engage in cause-related marketing.If you’re new to this term, let me explain. [highlight]Cause-related marketing is when a business or organization puts resources into charitable projects and then tells that story to consumers.[/highlight]This is important because individuals are drawn to companies, brands, and organizations that stand for things that are bigger than themselves. However, within each of those organizations, there’s this constant struggle to focus on making a difference while also telling the story of impact without being disingenuous, manipulative, or self-serving. This is not an easy thing to do.You might be thinking, “Why does this matter to me?”I believe that every brand, both business and personal, can benefit by strategically aligning ourselves with causes and initiatives. Unfortunately, I also believe that if it’s done poorly it can be manipulative. I believe our organization, ADDO, has found an honorable and strategic way to do both—make a difference and tell our story effectively. One of my favorite ways we’ve done it is with the Baltimore Ravens.Any time we design a program, project, or initiative that is meant to make a difference in other people’s lives and build a brand, we take these three steps in this order:1) Impact. The first thing we think about is how we are going to impact the person we’re trying to help. For the Baltimore Ravens Leadership Institute, we first considered how to most effectively inspire and equip student leaders to live and lead at a higher level.2) Integration. Next (this means AFTER we have considered the impact), we determine how to integrate the brand (or brands) in an authentic way. The program’s sponsors, the Baltimore Ravens and T. Rowe Price, are committed to helping high school students in the Baltimore area grow in the same leadership qualities key to excelling in professional football, financial stewardship, and beyond. This is why we decided to focus on four key areas of leadership: Lead Yourself, Lead Others, Lead Change, and Lead Community. Each one is widely applicable to any vocation, and each one easily gleans from the experiences of our corporate sponsors.3) Influence. Once we have carefully considered the impact we want to make and integrated the brand in an authentic way, we work to articulate the influence that this program is making to the broader community (that’s the marketing part)!. We work intentionally on public relations, storytelling, and how to measure impressions of the program or product we’ve put in place.Cause-related marketing might seem simple, but if you don’t follow these steps in this order, it won’t work. The initiatives that focus first on impact, have authentic brand integration, and share their influence in the community are the ones that are most effective.[ctt template="2" link="77Mx4" via="no" ]Our communities need you to make a difference. @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]Our communities need you to make a difference. I hope there are more businesses and individuals who will leverage their brands to leave a lasting impact.