Last week, I started a three part blog series about pursuing an honorable ambition. Hopefully you remember, ambition is a strong desire to do or achieve something. [highlight]The merit of any ambition is the motivation behind it.[/highlight] Sadly, not all ambitions are good ambitions. This is why I suggested an honorable ambition is a strong desire to do something good. Just like Thomas Merton explained, we could achieve the success we strongly desire, but if our ambition is wrong in the first place, we fail!We are using 1 Thessalonians 4:11 as our guide for pursuing an honorable ambition. Paul lists three ambitions we should have: 1) lead a quiet life, which we tackled last week, 2) mind your own business, and 3) work with your hands.This week, we’re going to talk about what it means to mind your own business while also caring for the people around you.It is an honorable ambition to mind your own business. Now, on the surface, this is an odd statement. It feels a little like the paradox of having an ambition to lead a quiet life. Is the goal to keep to yourself? Not exactly. Let me share a story to help illustrate what I mean.During Winston Churchill’s last year in office, the World War II hero attended an official ceremony. Several rows back, two gentlemen began whispering about the old, famous politician. They talked about how he was “getting senile” and needed to make way for “younger and more capable men” to lead. When the ceremony was over, Churchill turned around and said, “Gentlemen, they also say he is deaf!” When Paul says to “mind your own business,” he’s telling us to not meddle in the affairs of others. Don't gossip, and don’t be a busy-body. We are often so concerned about what other people are doing that we fail to do our own work well. Some sit in their offices, over-analyzing the performances of other team members, envious of their projects, and wondering if they will ever get the same opportunities.Others look at their neighbors, focused on what they are doing instead of their own lives.Even worse, some are always criticizing their own family members. Rather than supporting their siblings, they are often trying to one up them in some way—a better job, a nicer house, a bigger family. You cannot accomplish the responsibilities of your own life if you are constantly focused on everybody else’s.[ctt template="2" link="4gn2_" via="no" ]You cannot accomplish the responsibilities of your own life if you are constantly focused on everybody else’s. @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]However, it’s important to note that minding your own business is not a call to stop caring about the people around you. It’s a challenge to check yourself to see that what you are thinking and saying about someone else is good. Here are five questions to THINK about before you speak about another person:1. Is it True? Is what you are about to say true about this person? If not, it’s a no brainer: don’t say it.2. Is it Helpful? Will saying this be helpful to the person?3. Is it Inspiring? Would saying this be uplifting to the person?4. Is it Necessary? Does this need to be said?5. Is it Kind? Is what you are about to say caring toward this person?Minding your own business is honorable, and it should be your ambition. Focus on doing the work you have been given to the very best of your ability, instead of meddling in the lives of others.

Some of you view ambition in a negative light. You might think it’s self-serving—like the person who leaves their family, friends, and even team members in the dust to accomplish something for their own satisfaction or fame. But ambition in itself isn’t negative. Ambition, when applied to the right goal, is a very good thing. Here is a simple and helpful definition: Ambition is a strong desire to do or achieve something.

Recently, I’ve grown to understand the concept of ambition more deeply by studying 1 Thessalonians 4:11. In this letter, Paul encourages his readers to live their lives in a very specific way: “make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands.”

This passage gives us three ways to pursue ambition in an honorable way:

1) lead a quiet life, 2) mind your own business, and 3) work with your hands.

Over the next three weeks, I am going to unpack each of these principles and what they mean for our lives today. This week, we’re going to dive into what it means to lead a quiet life and why it matters.

At first glance, an ambition to lead a quiet life feels like a paradox. It seems like you are saying, “Have BIG GOALS and BIG DREAMS to . . . pull back?” However, remember our definition of ambition? It’s a strong desire to do something, and I would take it a step further to say;

An honorable ambition is a strong desire to do something good.

Leading a quiet life is a very good thing. And quiet doesn’t mean you might not stand out. In reality, this pursuit is really about a quietness of the mind and heart. Having the space for quiet stands in stark contrast with our modern culture. Our hearts and minds are constantly stimulated by social media, entertainment, and news sources. In 1985, Neil Postman published a book called Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business. In it, Postman argued that our modern world looks much more like Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World than George Orwell’s 1984. In Orwell’s book, people are oppressed by government control, but in Huxley’s book, people are controlled by their own obsession with amusement. Postman wrote his book before the internet age and the introduction of social media; yet, his words are even more true today!

Here is my challenge for you (and for me) today: Turn down the noise. In order to lead a quiet life, we must have real moments of quiet and stillness in our daily lives.

Are you finding space to focus on what’s most important?Are you taking the time to remind yourself of what is true, instead of taking in what everyone else is saying?

Do you have times when you are turning off your phone? (Wow, I struggle with this one!)

The need to be constantly connected hinders our ability to authentically connect with others.

It is an honorable ambition to lead a quiet life. Not only does it serve us in our own personal growth, development, and productivity, but it also makes us better family members, friends, and coworkers.

I’ve published this blog every single Tuesday since September of 2016. This is the first time that it’s fallen on my birthday.

Today we are going to switch it up. I’ve compiled a list of 38 thoughts --- principles, sayings, truths, and quotes. I have a short attention span, so 38 is a lot. I hope you’ll take the time to read them, and more importantly, take a couple of them and apply them to your life.

1. There is no better way to see the world changed than to be a part of changing the world. Get off the sidelines and do something.

2. If you want big results, set big goals. It's not easy, but it is simple.

3. Obedience is more important than feelings. Ike Reighard says, “The great doors of opportunity swing on little bitty hinges called obedience.”

4. It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

5. Conformity: Doing what everyone else is regardless of what is right. Morality: Doing what is right regardless of what everyone else is doing.

6. The most important things in life aren't things.

7. Paulus Wiratno says, “Compassion means you are willing to be disturbed.”

8. Excellence is always in demand.

9. If you have a pulse, you have a purpose.

10. God has given you resources, not to increase your standard of living, but your standard of giving.

11. The best way to know God is to spend time with Him.

12. The most dangerous risk of all: the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy the freedom to do it later.

13. "Fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life." – Donald Miller

14. If you want to change the world, you have to break the rules. Remember, Orville Wright never had a pilot's license.

15. In order to make a difference you have to be different.

16. When my favorite teams lose, it shouldn’t affect my entire weekend. I still love sports, but it’s just not that important.

17. My kids are growing up fast. I need to enjoy each season. Yes, even the hard, frustrating, exhausting ones.

18. Don’t be afraid to like what you like.

19. Take the trip.

20. Find what’s important and where you add the most value. That’s where to focus.

21. There is no such thing as work-life balance. You may not always get to do what you love, but you can learn to love what you do.

22. You can love the past without living in it.

23. Loyalty to those you love is good in the good times, but essential in the tough times.

24. Just because you have the right to do something does not make it right!

25. When you lower standards people don't decide to give you more, they give you less.

26. My dad always said: If you’re going to be stupid, you’ve got to be tough.

27. Choosing your friends is choosing your future. "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." - Proverbs 27:17

28. Ignore the boos, they usually come from the cheapest seats.

29. Don’t worry about the critics. It’s better to take your chances with the public.

30. "People will always try to stop you from doing the right thing if it is unconventional.” - Warren Buffett

31. “Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter.” - Francis Chan

32. “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” - Corrie ten Boom

33. Find ways to make memories and visit them often. Cesare Pavese says, "We do not remember days, we remember moments.”

34. You can't change that which you tolerate.

35. Stop chasing the next thing. The next paycheck, the next client, the next book, the next country, the next house. Too much focus on what’s next makes you wish your life away.

36. Most of your big achievements aren’t nearly as satisfying as you hoped they would be.

37. Success is not measured in the money you make or the recognition you receive, but more so in the lives you touch and the impact you have.

38. My favorite Zig Ziglar quote, “The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now.”

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I’m thankful for each of you in my life. Many of you who receive this list are friends, fellow church members, colleagues, and other incredible people I’ve met along the way.

And, if you feel so inclined to want to get me something for my birthday, please consider making a donation to Untold, an organization I truly believe in.

After work.

After taking the kids to swim lessons.

After trying to get dinner ready.

(My wife is a hero and typically does a lot, if not most of this. But she had to work late tonight.)

Are you ever exhausted at the end of the day? Especially after a Monday?

A typical Monday goes like this:

Alarm goes off.

Jump in the shower,

Grab a quick breakfast (probably don’t have time).

Hop in the car,

Leaving 15 minutes early to get to work and prep for my first meeting.

Accident on the interstate,

All lanes are shut down—Go from 15 minutes early to 20 minutes late.

Late to the first meeting,

Try to wrap early, but still late to the second meeting.

Now heading to lunch.

Check in on projects.

Wrap up work day.

Options in front of me:

I could go work out or

Go home and hang out with my family.

I really need to work out;

I’m definitely out of shape.

But I really need to get home to my family.

I skip the workout, head home, and walk in the door.

This is the moment I need to be fully present for my family, but often I’m not. I’m distracted, thinking of the twists and turns of the day’s events, and it’s difficult for me to give my wife and children my best, my undivided attention.

Did you know that the Jewish day starts in the evening? Their days begin at sundown when their work is finished. That concept is an interesting shift from my typical perspective. Often at the end of the day, one where I’ve been pulled in a million different directions, I’m just trying to power through this time—to just make it to bed.

If we embraced this practice, imagine how this would change these hours for us.

How much more do I have to offer at the beginning of the day than at the end?

I want to live and lead in a way that I offer my best to the people who need it the most. I don’t want to run out of steam before I get to the most important part of my day.

I’m from the south, so this is a good illustration for me: Imagine going through the buffet line, and you see there’s one last bit of macaroni and cheese in the edge of the pan. Do you want to take the last, cold, crusty scoop? Or do you want to wait for them to bring out the fresh pan of hot, bubbly macaroni and cheese? I know where I stand. I’m holding up that buffet line to wait on the good stuff!

I don’t want my family to get the last little bit—the leftovers. I want there to be an abundance, so I can give them the best, not just what’s left.

In my current stage of life, I need to focus on my family. However, if you’re reading this, I’d challenge you to think about who needs to receive your best but often just gets what’s left. For you, it might not be the time at home in the evening; it might be the big meeting that you need to be fully engaged in but you’re not. Maybe it’s the Sunday School lesson you need to prepare that’s been pushed to the back-burner. Maybe it’s a phone call that you need to make to your friend that’s struggling, but you squeeze the call in during a quick commute when you’re partially distracted.

Take some time to think about this question:

What is the part of my day that most needs my time, energy, and effort, and how do I allocate my energy accordingly?

This week let’s make every effort to give our best, not what’s left, to the people most important to us.

I’m always impressed by Logan’s intentionality and creativity he brings to a project. Back when he was in college, he rolled out a new visual identity standard for ADDO. (That’s a fancy way to say he helped us with our logos, colors, and how we use them.) It’s been a couple of years since his presentation, but I vividly remember him including this quote by Pablo Picasso,

“Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.”

‍For someone like me who doesn’t feel cultured in the arts, quoting Picasso might not usually grab my attention, but I loved this quote. It cuts to the core of what I believe about life. If we understand the rules, veering from them can be a strategic decision to move toward something unique. I’m not just talking about a mistake that ends up turning out OK; I’m proposing an intentional deviation.

This quote reminded me that the people moving the world forward are not always the rule-followers, but they aren’t necessarily the consistent rule-breakers—they are the ones who know when to color inside the lines and when to break free. It’s important to know the rules, and it’s also important to know when to break them.

There’s an interesting article by Dr. Adam Grant about straight-A students. The premise is that students with perfect GPAs are more likely to fall into a system rather than take a risk on a creative opportunity. That’s why many of the world’s most influential individuals didn’t graduate with outstanding grades.

In this article, Grant gives some significant examples: “This might explain why Steve Jobs finished high school with a 2.65 G.P.A., J.K. Rowling graduated from the University of Exeter with roughly a C average, and the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. got only one A in his four years at Morehouse” (The New York Times).

Following the rules isn’t wrong, but if you’re locked into a system, you probably won’t push things forward. Your perfection won’t allow you to move from good to great.

If you’re like me and lean toward breaking the rules, make sure to channel this energy appropriately. It’s important to remember your boundaries. Listen to the rule-followers, but make intentional, measured decisions when it’s time to buck the system.

If you’re a rule-follower, I want to challenge you to occasionally break free of the system. For you, this might mean helping the rule-breaker break the right rules at the right time and earning the opportunity to be a part of something truly extraordinary.

The rules are there for a reason. But you are here for a reason too. Make decisions that show you understand both.

While I wouldn’t want to live there, it’s one of my favorite places to visit. The excitement of the energy is electric.

Being back in the city reminded me of a Tom Rinaldi book, The Red Bandana. In the book, Rinaldi tells the story of Welles Crowther, an equities trader who was working in the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. Crowther’s heroic actions saved at least twelve people in the World Trade Center that day. Although his body wasn’t identified until months later, Crowther’s family knew what he had done because multiple survivors of the attack had identified him as the hero covering his mouth and nose with a red bandana.

Rinaldi’s telling of Crowther’s story moved me, but one specific part of this book captured my attention and challenged me to consider my dreams.

It was Crowther’s dream to be a firefighter. Although he pursued a career as an equities trader after college, Crowther was not completely fulfilled in his work. In the summer of 2001, he decided that he would begin the journey and pursue his dream of becoming a firefighter, dedicating the rest of his life to saving lives. He made this decision just months before the attacks on the World Trade Center, and even though he didn’t become a firefighter, he did dedicate the final moments of his life to saving the people around him. Rinaldi uses Crowther’s decision to pursue his dream to challenge his readers to consider our own dreams.

Rinaldi writes:

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‍“When did you stop? When did you put the hope away, shifting it from something real to something… lesser? When did the dream leave you as an aspiration and float off into the province of the never-to-be?

Probably, never crept up gradually. No sudden awakening in a cold sweat, no precise moment of terrible clarity. There is often no sharp edge to surrender, no bright line between chasing and letting go of the dream of what our lives could become before we get caught in the gears of daily living, the hundreds and thousands of tiny compromises that move us through the day. The lock doesn’t stop to make the time between the last through when your goal was still calling to you and the next, by which it had drifted past range, caught between radio stations like static, until the fade is complete. Silence.

It’s a creeping capitulation, the recognition of what we’re able to manage. That awareness comes in slow degrees, and at different times, in all our lives. It comes through the circumstances that shape us, the weather inside us, the failures that drag us below a line. You know the line—the one between what we want and what we accept.”

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‍What a great reminder for all of us! At what time in your life did you stop believing in what could be and settled for what is?  Is there something you have always wanted to do?

Remember: When we only listen to what’s practical instead of what’s possible, our dreams die.

‍Consider your dreams this week. Do you have dreams that you need to bring back to life? We don’t know how much time we have in this life, so you better start today.

At the end of the week, I spoke to a group of 30 high school students.

The stadium speech was a thrill, but something happened in the conversation with high school students that truly caused me to think.

At the end of my talk, one student asked me this question: What do I do when I feel less than other students who are achieving more than me?

The psychological term for that student’s question is called relative deprivation, and it’s something that affects students, adults, and every single person who has ever been on social media!

Personally, I didn’t struggle with this as much until I was an adult. I remember being a year or two out of college, and when I compared myself to my circle of friends, I thought I was doing well. Then, I visited a friend who was living in New York and worked in the finance industry. I quickly realized that if I were to compare myself to him, I’d be losing. My job was not nearly as prestigious, my clothes not nearly as nice, my home not nearly as impressive, and my life not nearly as exciting as his.

It was a fun visit to New York with friends, but I remember returning home and feeling inadequate.

Relative deprivation. Social scientists define this concept as “the discontent people feel when they compare their positions to others and realize that they have less of what they believe themselves to be entitled than those around them.”

Said another way:

Comparison is the thief of joy.

It happens when we see our neighbor pull up in a brand-new car and wonder if we’ll ever be able to afford a nicer vehicle.

It happens in the business world when we go to someone’s new office space and wonder why they have the clients and success we don’t have.

It happens when the pastor sees the church down the road that’s double the size of their tiny church building.

It happens when your coworker receives the promotion you think you deserve.

It happens when your friend’s child gets into their dream college while your child is struggling in school.

When we start comparing ourselves to one another, we start to feel less than, but here’s the truth: We were not created to have an equal amount of things.

This is a tough reality for some people to accept, but it’s a reality, nonetheless. We must fight the urge to compare and choose to focus on what we do have.

The inverse of this struggle is equally as dangerous. When we compare ourselves with others who have less than we do, we have a false feeling of superiority

Getting caught in the comparison game is a terrible trap that results in a self-image based on the people you encounter each day.

So, here’s our challenge this week: Stop worrying about what everyone else has and be thankful for what you have. I know this is easier said than done, but you’ll be far more fulfilled when you put this principle into practice.

I’m saying that a potential customer comes along, and to gain their business, I commit to building something outside of our wheelhouse and core competencies.

And while that may work in the short term, it’s not a sustainable approach.

I’ve heard it said this way: What you win them with is what you win them to.

What you win them with is what you win them to.

I’m going to share a business example with you, but know this principle applies to churches and charities, as well. No matter the type of organization, mission drift is dangerous.

Consider this scenario: You are great at baking, specifically baking cakes. You launch your new business, and you start making cakes for your friends, and their friends, and before you know it, your business is off the ground. Cake-making is something you enjoy, and it’s the offering you want to build your business around.

One day, someone calls, and they ask you to make a large order of sandwiches to cater an upcoming event. Sure, you know how, but it’s not really what you do. Beyond that, it’s not what your business is about. You decide to do it with the hope of earning this customer’s business, thinking that the next time, they’ll ask you to bake a cake.

Instead, the next week, that customer calls back and wants more sandwiches. Then they’ve referred you to their friends. What do their friends want? You guessed it, more sandwiches.

There’s no problem with making sandwiches, but now, the offering you’ve won their business with, is the offering that they keep coming back to.

Or how about this situation? You own a painting company. That’s your expertise and your passion. A large business calls you, but instead of asking you to paint, they ask you to clean their office space. It’s out of the scope of what you do, but you decide that just this once you’ll do it, hoping to earn their painting business down the road. However, every few months they call you back, not asking you to paint, just asking you to clean again. You’ve made a strategic mistake—the thing you’ve won their business with is unfortunately all they want you to do.

As a business owner, I’ve felt this temptation to alter our offerings to gain an exciting new customer. As my imagination runs wild with all the possible ways this client could help grow our business, I realize how easy it is to stray from the core of who we are and what we do well.

I’m not suggesting we should be unaccommodating to our clients and customers, but I am cautioning against getting the wrong business. When you alter what you do to attract a customer, they will often expect you to continue doing more things that are not central to who you are as an organization. If you continue shifting from the core of your business, your identity as an organization is at stake.

This can take on many different forms. A great example is drastically discounting the rates you charge to get a customer to say yes. It’s easy to rationalize when you’re just trying to attract new business, but it can often be a dangerous practice. That customer who got the deep discount is unlikely to ever want to pay full price.

When you’re willing to say or do anything to get a sale, you cheapen your offering, discount your ability, and sell yourself short.

This week, consider the core of your mission and approach. Then commit to it.

You might need to make some concessions, but you must remember that what you win them with is what you win them to.

I’m a lifelong fan of the Atlanta Braves, so I’m loving all of the celebrations from winning the World Series last year.

I love the story of George Brett, who played twenty-one years for the Kansas City Royals and finished his career with more than 3,000 hits and 300 home runs. Brett was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1999.

As he neared the end of his career, a reporter asked him how he would like his very last at bat to go. Everyone assumed that his answer would be to go out with some fanfare—it’s the World Series, bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, two outs, full count, and he hits a home run to win the game.

However, the answer Brett gave was surprising and far less dramatic. He said that he wanted the last play of his Major League Baseball career to be an average play. He wanted to hit a slow-grounder to the second baseman, and he wanted the second baseman to field it easily and throw him out as he was running to first. But when he threw him out, Brett said he wanted to be running as fast as he could toward the bag.

He said he wanted it to be said of him that he always gave his best and always tried his hardest right up until the very end.

That story is inspiring and challenging. Brett wanted to be known as a man that sought excellence in every play of his career, not just the big ones.

Here’s a question for each of us: Can you say the same of yourself? Do you strive for excellence on the ordinary days, not just the big ones?

We should commit ourselves to excellence every single day.

I get it. We all get tired, burned out, and go through seasons of discouragement. But even in the middle of the mundane, we should give our very best.

It’s easy to pursue excellence when you’re trying to land the big job, get the big client, or close the big sale, but on the day packed with meetings to attend and emails to return, are you committed to bringing your best?

Take some time today to think about the way you walk through your personal and professional life.

Do you strive for excellence in the mundane moments?

Do you pursue your relationships constantly?

Do you strive to produce your best work, even when nobody’s watching?

Trust me, I know it’s a lot easier to say this than it is to put this into practice. But if every one of us showed up every single day with excellence as our goal, imagine the impact we could make!