I don’t want to waste my life. And I’m betting, if you are reading this blog, you don’t want to either.

In order to not waste our lives, to do something truly significant, we’ve got to get out of our comfort zone.

Check out this video on Exchanging Stability for Significance.

Each one of us must identity those things that make you feel safe, comfortable, stable, secure that are standing in your way. It might be a physical place, a job, a relationship, or even a standard of living.

What is it for you that is standing in your way?

Real life and genuine fulfillment take place out of your comfort zone.

I hope you’ll have the courage to make this exchange.

Don't have a copy of 8 Essential Exchanges? Click on the link below to get your copy.

8 Essential Exchanges

I’ve been helping Kevin write his blogs since his very first post in September of 2016. The industry term for what I’ve been doing is called ghostwriting, but today I am stepping out from behind the curtain to share a little about me and a few things I’ve learned while working in this role for the last four and a half years.

You may be wondering why I have taken over Kevin’s blog today. Well, the short answer is because he asked me to, but it’s also because this is the very last blog I will help write for kevinpaulscott.com. After this blog, I am stepping away from my writing jobs to focus more of my energy into my work at home caring for our two daughters, Evelyn and Lola, and our son, Jay, who is due in August.

When I tell people that I am a ghostwriter, the most common response is a confused look or the obvious question: “What is that?” With the word “ghost” in the title, people naturally speculate I am writing in the voice of a dead person or about some kind of ambiguous supernatural beings.

Allow me to clarify.

Ghostwriting is simply writing on behalf of another person. Kevin comes each week with his own personal ideas, insights, and anecdotes that he shares verbally, and I craft these thoughts into organized blogs. I never start with a blank page, and I enjoy the creative challenge of writing in another person’s voice.

To be honest, I didn’t know much about this world before this opportunity. Previously, I had done editing work for a ministry called Desiring God, a little content writing for ADDO, and shared creative pieces on my personal blog—but writing on behalf of another person was new. I’m so grateful Kevin took a chance and hired me anyway. It has been a joy to work with him, to learn from his insights on life and leadership, and to grow as a professional writer.

So today, for my final blog with Kevin, I want to leave you with three lessons this process has taught me about work and life. I trust that even though most of you (maybe all of you) will never work in a role like mine, you will be able to appreciate and apply these principles to your own experience.

1. Let go of your ego.

You don’t need to receive credit for your work to be meaningful. I knew that writing for someone else meant my name would not be attached to the things I was writing, and in theory, I was OK with this. But in practice, it was more difficult than I thought it would be. All of us do things that matter that go unnoticed. Whether you’re bearing the weight of a big project for your team or folding your family’s third load of laundry today, the level of affirmation you receive does not reflect the impact of the work you’re doing.

You don’t need to receive credit for your work to be meaningful.

As a Christian, I’m reminded of Jesus’ charge to his disciples in the Sermon on the Mount. He encourages his followers not to give or pray to be seen by others but to do these things in secret and trust that their Father who sees in secret will reward them (Matthew 6:4; 6). I trust that if I’m trying to do the work God’s called me to do as a disciple of Christ, a wife, a mom, and a freelance writer, he sees it, he cares, and he will help me do it. His approval of me matters infinitely more than the temporary praise of others.

2. Embrace creative challenges.

The prospect of writing in the voice of another person felt daunting at first, but I wanted to give it a try because I knew working with Kevin was a great opportunity. Most of us shy away from creative challenges because we don’t want to fail. But we shouldn’t fear failing. Failing is inevitable—we’re human! Instead of fearing failure, we should fear missing out on the important opportunities that come our way.

I’m not suggesting we should say yes to everything. We all need discernment in saying yes to the right things. But if we feel drawn to pursue a creative challenge and experience the encouragement of the people who know us best, we should go for it! The worst that can happen is that it doesn’t work out—and then you’ll know for sure it wasn’t the right path for you.

3. Write to learn.

The regular rhythm of writing a weekly blog with Kevin has opened my eyes to how much I learn through the practice of putting pen to paper—or fingers to keyboard. Writing not only helps me remember what I am processing, but it also helps me think deeply about a specific topic. In this fast-paced, consumer culture, it’s easy to take in a lot of information without really thinking about it. But when I write, I naturally ask myself questions to get more words on the paper. What is my opinion of this? How do I feel about it? How do I think this impacts other people? Although I am going to take a step back from writing jobs for a season, I still plan to engage in a regular rhythm of daily writing, and I encourage you to do the same. I firmly believe that everyone (yes, even you) should write and would benefit from writing regularly. Whether it’s creative writing or simply journaling at the end of the day, writing opens the mind to slow down, to observe, and to consider the things in this life more deeply.

I’m so grateful for this season writing for Kevin. Not only have I learned important lessons and grown in ways that will benefit me the rest of my life, but I have truly enjoyed working with Kevin. I am excited to continue reading his blog and learning from his insights in the years to come!

We are back this week with the video series on 8 Essential Exchanges.

This week’s exchange is admittedly one of the most difficult for me.

True friends don't just tell us the things we want to hear, but they share what we need to hear. I wrote about this in a post about this here: 2 Types of People to Avoid.

Peggy Noonan said it this way: “Candor is a compliment; it implies equality. It’s how true friends talk.”

Do you have these kinds of friendships?

We each need people who care about us enough to encourage us when we're right and correct us when we're wrong.

If not, I challenge you to make an effort to find other friends who are eager to help you become the person you were meant to be.

I hope you'll have the courage to make the exchange from fans to friends.

Don't have a copy of 8 Essential Exchanges? Click on the link below to get your copy.

8 Essential Exchanges

This week we are starting something new. Play the video below to find out!

Over the next 8 weeks, we are going to unpack 8 Essential Exchanges, the things you have to give up to go up.

What is your one vision, purpose, and goal?

Think about it through the lens of your family, business, and community.

Until you have a clear vision, you’ll never have the courage to make essential exchanges.

Don't have a copy of 8 Essential Exchanges? Click on the button below to get your copy.

8 Essential Exchanges

Maria is doing a 6-month fellowship with ADDO in between working with Tom Brady’s company TB12 and starting her MBA at Rice University. I am so grateful for all of our long-term team members, but I’m also grateful for leaders like Maria who work with us for a season and add so much value to our business.

At breakfast, Maria and I got into a conversation about the natural human tendency to make life as comfortable as possible, and in response, Maria shared some wisdom from her mom. When she was young, Maria’s mom taught her to think about herself like a battleship—not a cruise ship. On a cruise ship, the goal is to make things as comfortable, easy, fun, and distracting from everyday life as possible. But on a battleship, you are working on a mission, moving toward a goal, and there is no illusion that things will be easy.

Far too many of us have decided to pour our energy into making our lives as easy and comfortable as possible. I see this play out the most on social media. People of all ages like to post about how they are enjoying their lives and how you should enjoy yours. Don’t get me wrong, I think life should be enjoyed, but I don’t think that’s our ultimate purpose.

The purpose of your life is to do something that matters for something bigger than yourself.

I understand that this message may not be popular. It’s countercultural. But I believe that it’s true. If you’ve been reading these blogs for a while, you’ll remember that our greatest accomplishments in life never come easy. Easy is not bad, but easy shouldn’t be the goal or purpose of our lives. So consider with me what it looks like to be a battleship in the different areas of our lives.

At work, being a battleship doesn’t mean we show up every day trying to blow things up! But it does mean that we expect and anticipate obstacles. It’s embracing the unexpected and working hard to pursue your organization’s shared vision—even when it’s not easy.

At home, being a battleship means that you love your spouse and children despite your present circumstances. Whether members of your family are battling illness, exhaustion, or relational strain, it’s sticking around and helping each other run the race of this life well.

At church, being a battleship means that you remain steadfast and faithful to serve. It’s being there for others even when you don’t feel cared for in return. It’s serving them with no strings attached, rather than with an expectation it will be reciprocated.

Today is a great opportunity to change your perspective.

Carry yourself with the commitment and mission-mindedness you would on a battleship, instead of ruthlessly eliminating all discomfort from your life like on a cruise ship.

I’ve done this many times in the past, but every time I come back to Proverbs, I come away with something new. I read a verse I’ve read hundreds of times, but at each reading, I have the chance to see it from a new perspective.

This month, this happened with Proverbs 27:17:

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

I’ve quoted this verse many times. In fact, I’ve even referenced it in a previous blog about friendship. But when I read this verse this past month, I saw it in a different way. I often think about a person making another person better, but the imagery of iron sharpening iron became bolder and clearer. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever really seen iron sharpen iron, but I have sharpened a knife before, and I imagine the process is similar. The act of metal grinding against metal sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard, and as you bear the knife down to sharpen it, you are actually taking some of it off in order to form a sharper edge.

To make the knife more effective, some of the outer surface of the knife has to come away. If you compare this perspective of iron sharpening iron to our relationships, you’re probably not going to come away thinking about the most encouraging person in your life (though we all need encouragement!). However, you will gain a valuable image of a person willing to create friction in a way that makes you better and more useful. We all need people in our lives who sharpen us in this way. The process is uncomfortable, and sometimes, it’s painful. But when you open yourself up to this, you’ll end up liking the results.

I’m so grateful for my wife Laura. She sharpens me more than anyone else in this world. She will lovingly point out to me when I need to do something I don’t want to do or when I need to have a conversation I don’t want to have. When I take her advice, I am better for it, but it’s an uncomfortable process to get there.

At work, I’ve purposefully put people around me who will sharpen me as I lead. As of this month, Bart Newman is ADDO’s new president. We are so excited to have him on our team! I brought Bart on fully knowing that our whole team will be challenged and pushed in ways we haven’t been before. I know some of it we won’t enjoy, but I also know that our company as a whole will be better for it. I also intentionally made Elizabeth Jay our Chief of Staff at ADDO. Her role is to carry out and implement ADDO’s vision, and this means she’s often offering me helpful advice and correction. She is gifted at sharpening me and the rest of the team as we pursue our collective goal to inspire people today to impact tomorrow.

The process of sharpening is not fun, but it is effective.

It’s important to keep this perspective the next time you receive a piece of advice or criticism that is difficult to hear. Remember, sharpening will always make you better.

If a business is truly going to grow and thrive, they must truly shine in at least one of these three areas and keep customers coming back by outperforming their competition.

1. Superior Products:

‍To be a product leader, your business needs an offering better than most of your competition’s. Customers will come to you because they know you have the best burger in town, or clients keep calling because the consulting services you offer yield real, lasting results. Apple is a product leader. Tesla is proving to be a product leader.

It’s why these businesses have such a widespread, loyal, and consistent following!

2. Operational Excellence:

‍Another element that defines a successful business is operational excellence. This means that your business has a system that is superior to your competitors, so you continue to outperform them in a way that matters to your customers. Amazon is like this. Their proprietary products may not be the best on the market, but they have a marketplace and a system for processing and delivering orders that is far superior to their competition. When you need something fast, you’re going to Amazon.

3. Customer Experience:

‍Finally, businesses are often successful because their customer experience is a cut above their competition. People keep coming back because they feel valued every time they come to you. Disney creates this kind of experience for their park guests. They work to make individualized “magical” moments for their customers that keep them coming back again and again.

‍

If you are standing out in one of these three areas, chances are you’ve experienced success, but I believe that there is going to be a fourth element that will be a defining factor for success in the coming years: culture.

Culture impacts all three of the elements listed above because it impacts your team—the individuals your company can attract, select, and retain. Healthy culture is one of the most important factors in attracting new talent, so it should be important to you. The next big front on the battlefield of business will be fought over talent, and I believe the best way to win this fight is to develop and foster a healthy culture within your business.

Said another way, culture is the ultimate competitive advantage.

So, what makes up a healthy culture that attracts talent? Here are a few things to keep in mind:

- Values: Compensation is important, but alignment with a company’s values must be present to keep people engaged.

- Meaningful Work: Everyone wants to be a part of something bigger than themselves, so the company’s vision must be clear, communicated often, and connected to the individual’s work.

- Personal Development: Talented individuals desire the opportunity to learn and grow in the workplace.

- Trust: People want to know they can trust their leaders and also that their leaders trust them to do good work.

- Purpose Beyond Work: Work is important, but in order to do good work, people need a purpose beyond what they do with your company.

To thrive, employees must be prepared for their job, passionate about their job, and purposeful both in and outside of work.

The only way to offer the best products and services, maintain the most effective systems, and extend superior customer care is focus on culture. You need high-quality members of your team to be successful, so how will you develop or maintain the kind of culture that attracts them?

A compelling culture will help you with your products, operations, and customer experience.

One of these companies is Chick-fil-A. We have the great opportunity to work with them in a variety of ways, and since we do so much business together, we collaborate on a “Chick-fil-A Immersion Day” at least once each year. The first goal of this day is to understand their business better, so we can serve them most effectively. The second is to more specifically understand their brand strategy and approach to hospitality, so we can represent them well externally in schools and communities where we facilitate programs that showcase their name. And the final goal is to just get better by learning from some of the best and brightest in the business. One of our speakers this year was a local Chick-fil-A franchise owner named Chris Darley.

He spent time talking about the nature of effective goal-setting and started by displaying these four words:

He asked our team: “When you have an option in life, do you want something to be simple or complicated?” We all responded, “Simple!” And he affirmed our answer. Then he asked, “Do you want it to be easy or hard?” We similarly responded, “Easy!” But this time, Chris shook his head.

No, we shouldn’t pursue things because they are easy.

Chris then asked a few of us to share some things in our lives that are most meaningful to us. The answers ranged, but included things like graduating from school, raising our children, achieving a major goal, and our relationship with a spouse. Then he asked us to think about if those meaningful things were easy or hard.

I think you know our answer.

His point was this:

M‍ost of the things worth pursuing in life are hard—things like raising children, getting in shape physically, developing daily disciplines, excelling in your job, cultivating a healthy marriage, and growing in your faith.

None of these things are easy, but they make life rich and meaningful.

Most of the things worth pursuing in life are hard.

This requires us to reframe our thinking. While we should work ruthlessly to make our lives less complicated, we shouldn’t keep trying to make everything easy.

In our work, we can simplify by creating solutions for customers that boost their experience or by building systems for employees that increase their productivity.

In our parenting, we can simplify by trying to work on developing one good habit at a time with our toddlers or by simplifying the schedule with busy teenagers.

In our faith, we can simplify by focusing on reading one book of the Bible together. Simple is good. But it’s time to be honest, with ourselves and with those we lead, that the things worth pursuing in life are often going to be hard. So, keep simplifying where you can. And let’s roll up our sleeves and get to work doing things that really matter.

He explained that this team member is incredibly enthusiastic and passionate about the work she is doing, but can often be kind of overbearing. This team member is constantly throwing out new ideas or seeking approval for a new system or process she has created. While grateful for her work ethic and ingenuity, this leader felt like it was putting more work on him just to keep up with her!

Listening to him share reminded me of a piece of advice David Salyers, former Vice President of Growth and Hospitality at Chick-fil-A, once shared with me: “It’s better to restrain stallions than to kick mules.”

It’s better to restrain stallions than to kick mules.

Isn’t that the truth? Most of the time, leaders are trying to figure out how to motivate the members of their team, how to connect them to the vision, and how to cultivate an ownership mentality in them. As I listened to my friend share, I understood his frustration but also knew many leaders who would die for his problem rather than the ones they typically face.

Most managers spend their time using sticks or dangling carrots to keep their teams moving forward. Either, they punish them when they don’t do what is asked or expected, or they overuse incentives to keep their team members motivated. But a stallion doesn’t require sticks or carrots. Stallions are intrinsically motivated to do good work out of a personal love for the vision of the organization.

You want stallions on your team.

But here is a word of caution. When you put somebody in a position who operates at a different level than you—full of ideas, enthusiasm, energy, and passion for the work—they may outrun you. You may feel like you can’t keep up, but instead of responding in frustration, the best leaders work to restrain and guide stallions to run toward a specific goal.

Though you may have to put in some work to restrain them, I can promise that having stallions on your team is worth it. Here’s a two-fold challenge for you today:

First, if you’re a leader, every time a member of your team is going further or faster than you want to go, remind yourself that you’d rather retrain stallions than kick mules.

Second, in your organization, are you a stallion or a mule? If you are in the mule category, rethink what you are doing. Find a way to level-up. If you are a stallion, try to have some patience for your leaders and peers. They are grateful for you, but you may need discernment on when to push and when to slow down the pace.