I intended to share some of that with you this morning – how we strategically leveraged the time to remind the team of our purpose, celebrate individuals who embody our values, and intentionally build culture – but I will hold that update until next week because some things happened on our trip that I believe give us a reminder of what matters most in life.

During the first morning of the retreat, we received the news that Marjorie had her baby. Marjorie worked with our team and me for a few years. The team loves her and her family and the group was thrilled for them. In fact, two of our team members could not make the trip as they are on maternity leave, which means lots of babies in the ADDO family! There are many happy things in life, but few top the joy of a new baby.

While the trip itself was fun and celebrating a new baby was joyful, that first evening we received some tragic news that triggered the exact opposite emotion.

Dana McArthur is one of the closest partners and friends of the ADDO team. That evening we learned that his wife and daughter were on a trip to Alaska when their sightseeing plane crashed. Unfortunately, no one survived. Unimaginable.

That morning we were thrilled for new life and less than 12 hours later we were heartbroken. Both ends of emotions in the same day, overjoyed for one family and devastated for the other.

Romans 12:15 says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep."

The charge is to be there for others in their good times and in their sad times.

I'm thankful for our team living this out. But there is a lesson for each of us in this.

We each need these kinds of friends and we each need to be these kinds of friends.

When it comes to rejoicing, are you the type of person who cheers when the people you love succeed? And are the people around you cheering for you? Your friends should want you to succeed. As the saying goes, "Your circle should clap loudly when you have good news. If it doesn't, get a new circle."

There are other seasons that aren't as happy. In times of loss, others need us more than ever. And even if we don't like to admit it, we need them as well.

Make the choice to meet them where they are.

Look at your friends this week. Are they rejoicing or weeping? Make the choice to meet them where they are.

Back to school is one of the busiest times of year for our team at ADDO. While many of our corporate programs happen all throughout the calendar year, we still have programs in more than 1,000 schools. The start of the school year brings a flurry of activity and countless inbound requests, soliciting information, clarification, or help.

The sheer quantity of requests can be overwhelming. Add to it the fact that most of these interactions are mundane and repetitive. It's easy to see how someone could check out, if not physically, at least mentally.

Unless you change your perspective and start to see each problem as an opportunity.

What do I mean by that?

There was a fascinating study by the Journal of Marketing entitled The Service Encounter. In the study, they categorized 700 customer interactions (or incidents) from the airline, hotel, and restaurant industry. In short, these were a collection of memorable moments from a customer interacting with an employee. Roughly half of the moments were positive and half were negative.

I bet right now you could think of interactions that fall into both of those categories.

The negative ones stick in our minds: the representative was rude, the wait was twice as long as you expected it to be, the order was incorrect, and the list goes on.

The positive ones stay with us, as well: the team member went above and beyond, the person remembered your name, someone helped your child and made their day.

One fascinating component of this study is that nearly 1/4 of the positive experiences came out of a negative one. Said another way, 25 percent of the positive encounters we have with an employee are the result of something going wrong, and then that employee doing something to make it right.

This fact can mean a lot to our team, and to every interaction you have with a customer (or a student, or a church member, or whoever your key constituent is). Every problem presents the potential to turn a negative into a positive.

Every problem presents the potential to turn a negative into a positive.

This week, when someone asks you a question, when they have a challenge, or when you mess something up, choose to see that as an opportunity instead of an obstacle.

The goal isn't to make mistakes or generate problems just so you can fix them. But, it's true that if someone is going to remember a positive experience with us or our organization, many times it will be the result of us fixing something that went wrong.

If you'll choose this perspective on problems, you have the potential to create more positive moments.

This exchange can be summed up in one of my favorite quotes from Zig Ziglar: "The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want now."

You’ve heard each of the essential exchanges; now you need to take action! As Leonardo da Vinci said, “I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough, we must do.”

‍You’ve heard each of the essential exchanges; now you need to take action!

As Leonardo da Vinci said,

“I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough, we must do.”

It’s time to do!

‍

Take action:

• Get involved.
• Close the laptop and make the phone call.
• Fill out the application.
• Send your resume and try to get the job.
• Pack the trailer and go.
• Write the note.
• Offer to help.
• Don’t wait to be asked.
• Take the risk.
• Be fully present.
• Focus on excellence.
• Ask for greater faith and courage.
• Have the honest conversation.
• Make the choice.

In this week’s video I unpack the exchange we face of moving from acceptance to accomplishment.

Check it out:

An obsession with acceptance makes us insecure, erodes our confidence, and makes us easily manipulated by others’ smiles or frowns. When we find the courage to pursue accomplishment, we earn respect – even from those who oppose us.

Margaret Thatcher said it this way,

“If you just set out to be liked, you will be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and would achieve nothing.”

Consistently making this exchange establishes a trajectory for our lives that’s full of richer relationships.

Think about what you truly want to accomplish and don’t let the approval of others stand in your way.

Next week we will wrap up this series on making exchanges  - giving up something good for something better.

Eleven years later and I still remember a story Coach Richt shared during that conversation. Hear more in the video below:

I have so much respect and admiration for Coach Richt - he's consistent and always has his priorities in the right order. I know that's especially true now. I've admired his firm foundation through his diagnosis of Parkinson's disease, the storm he's currently facing.

"Sand works fine when there's no storm." That's one of my favorite lines from 8 Essential Exchanges. It's true, isn't it?

"Sand works fine when there's no storm."

We will all eventually face storms. We will confront challenges and have to weather tough seasons. While we always need anchoring, it's in those moments that we most realize the futility of building on a foundation that is not firm.

Remember: The only sure foundation is found in something and Someone bigger than yourself.

We each need to make the exchange to build our life on a solid rock.

Here's to making the exchange!

It captures the sentiment that to be good at everything, means you aren't an expert at anything.

While I don't believe that's always true, we should each strive to move closer to our sweet spot.

Check out this video:

We should all aim for the intersection of affinity, ability, and opportunity.

The more we lean into our strengths, the more the world gets the best of what we have to offer.

Andy Stanley says "Your fully exploited strengths are of far greater value to your organization than your marginally improved weaknesses."

In your life, work this week to take a step closer to being in your element.

Like the others, it requires us giving up something good to get something better.

In this video I explain this exchange:

We'd all like things to move faster. You want the builder to complete the house, the person fixing the appliance to finish it quickly, and the individual taking your order to get it out faster.

At the same time, you don't want the builder to cut corners, you want the appliance repaired correctly, and you want to get the food you ordered.

We know this intuitively, but sometimes we cut corners and pay the price.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said it this way:

"It takes less time to do a thing right than to explain why you did it wrong."

This week, in your pursuit of doing things quickly, make sure you take the time to do things well.

When these two things come in conflict, I hope you'll have the patience to exchange doing things with expedience for doing things with excellence.

Before you tune me out, this is not a post about how to make money, save money, invest money, or even an article about that asks you to give your money away.

Rather, it’s about an essential exchange that requires you to put money in its proper place.

Check out the video below:

As I mentioned in the video – money isn’t bad. I know that money is essential. And I’m not advocating you try to have less of it. It’s more about the motivation of money and how it drives us.

In St. Augustine’s classic work Confessions, he explains the principle of “Disordered Loves”, and gives us a reminder to love the right things in the right order.

This week, think about the things you love - your family, your friends, your church, and hopefully you love your job. You might even love your car, the new pair of shoes you bought last week, and restaurant you’re going to eat dinner at tonight. Loving these things aren’t bad. But it’s important to put them in the right order. (If you said you love those shoes more than your spouse, I think we’d all agree you have a problem!)

Here’s the question: Are your loves ordered properly, especially as it relates to money?

When confronted with the choice where you must choose between Making Dollars or Making a Difference, I hope you have the courage to make the exchange.

Making money isn’t bad. But When confronted with the choice where you must choose between Making Dollars or Making a Difference, I hope you have the courage to make the exchange.