Though I’m confident in the presentation I have prepared, it’s unlikely that what I share will be new or ground-breaking to every person in the audience. Chances are—if what I’m saying is true—most of them have heard some version of it before . . . and I’m OK with that.The Hebrew word for teach is “alaph.” Translated it means to “become familiar with.” I’ve heard another leader say that in many contexts, the word really means to “relearn.”Think about it this way: the role of a teacher is not always to explain a new idea. Many times, the role of a teacher is to articulate an old idea in a new way—a way that’s engaging, accessible, and applicable. But why do we need to be retaught old, good ideas over and over again in different ways? [highlight]Because we need to relearn them.[/highlight] Most of the time, when we hear a good idea, we’ll consider it for a moment (or maybe a day if we’re really thinking about it), and then we’ll go about our daily lives and allow it to fall out of our brains. Because we don’t put the concepts we learn into practice, we forget them almost instantly! We need to learn new concepts in a way that will cause us to put them into practice and make them stick.This is why Paul ends chapter four of his letter to the church in Philippi with this statement: “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things…”Paul didn’t just want the early church to know how they should live, but he wanted them to practice these things. It’s not enough to know these things are true; practice shows you believe a good idea to be true.Here’s my belief: Every single one of us has learned things that would make our lives better, but we aren’t putting them into practice. Maybe we need to do some relearning and then start implementing.Do you need to relearn how to communicate with your coworker?Do you need to relearn how to have high standards of quality control?Do you need to relearn your spouse’s love language?Do you need to relearn how to control your anger, by responding calmly to your toddler? (ouch)Do you need to relearn ways to diffuse conflict over written communication?Do you need to relearn how to set meaningful goals for your personal and professional life?It’s likely you don’t need some new approach, you just need to relearn and implement what you’ve learned in the past. [ctt template="2" link="tex9f" via="no" ]It’s likely you don’t need some new approach, you just need to relearn and implement what you’ve learned in the past. @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]Don’t dismiss that old idea or the tried and true approach. Pick up the old book.Listen to the old message.Go back to that process from a few years ago.Relearn and apply. This is the way.

Most people are actively chasing this often fleeting feeling in their personal relationships, in their jobs, and in the nitty-gritty of their daily lives. Not convinced of the happiness obsession? Check out the self-help section of the bookstore. Here are just a few titles from a quick search on Amazon: The Happiness Advantage: How a Positive Brain Fuels Success in Work and Life, The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living, The Art of Happiness, and Stumbling on Happiness.People have been pursuing happiness since the beginning of time, but recent studies are shedding light on its negative effects. On a recent commute to work, I heard the morning host say, “The quest for happiness always leads to misery.”At first, it sounded a little harsh, but as I mulled it over in I-75 traffic, I realized it was true. The people I know who spend the most time working to make themselves happier are the least happy people I know. The people fixated on this elusive, evasive thing called “happiness” are often miserable.Former Formula 1 race car driver Alex Dias Ribeiro wrote, “Unhappy is he whose success is to be happy.”[ctt template="2" link="aoCRs" via="no" ]Unhappy is he whose success is to be happy. –Alex Dias Ribeiro @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]In other words, if your primary goal is happiness, you will never be happy.But I have good news for you (and for me). There is actually a time-tested formula to be happy. Instead of pursuing happiness, make it your goal to serve others. To add value. Pour out your life for another person. [highlight]Jesus told his followers that it’s “more blessed” to give than to receive.[/highlight] What does more blessed even mean? It turns out that when you give, you have more joy and you experience greater happiness.So if we want to be happier, we should stop thinking about how to make ourselves happy. Instead, consider how we might encourage another person, make their day, or at the very least, make them smile! Choose to pursue the happiness (and ultimate good) of others in your life today. I believe you’ll feel more satisfied and happy in this pursuit than you ever would focusing on yourself.

But financial capital is just one of the many types of capital.

There’s manufactured capital, which for a company could be buildings, technology, tools, machines, and even systems in place to help run the business.

Intellectual capital is a person’s knowledge, competencies, or even expertise based on their education or unique set of experiences. Human capital is the collective group of people in an organization and the strengths and skills they bring to the table. And yes, there are even more types of capital!

But today, I am going to talk about social capital.

Your social capital are the meaningful connections you’ve made with people in your personal and professional life. This might sound simple and superficial, but these connections are vital to our success. And social capital isn’t just important for someone in sales. Author Tim Sanders famously said,

“Your network is your net worth.”

To be clear, your social capital is not reflected in the stack of random business cards you have accumulated on your desk from people you’ve met once at different conferences throughout your career. Your social capital is more accurately reflected by the group of individuals you can pick up the phone and call if you need something.

We could all use more of that, right?

So how do we go about that? Creating meaningful connections looks a lot like building friendships. Zig Ziglar said, “If you go out looking for friends, you're going to find they are very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you'll find them everywhere.” If you’re trying to build social capital with a self-centered mentality (What can this person do for me?), you’ll find your network crumbles quickly. However, if you set out with the hope to help, encourage, and invest in others, you’ll find it much easier (and more enjoyable) to build and maintain relationships.

With this in mind, here are five strategies to help you build your social capital:

‍1. Set aside time to connect.

‍Building social capital takes intentionality and thought. Consider who you would like to get to know and take the first step: pick up the phone, schedule the meeting, offer to take them to lunch. And after your first meeting, follow up. Find ways to keep the conversation going and remind yourself to do so. Taking the time to make these touchpoints will help deepen each connection.‍

2. Build your network before you need it.

‍You don’t have to be in the prime of your career (or even know what you’ll be doing in the next five years) to have a robust network. Start as early as you can. If there are any high schoolers reading (thank you!) and start building your network now! Get to know people you admire, ask them good questions, and take their good advice. You never know how they could be in your corner (and you could be in theirs) in the future.

‍3. Form relationships with others outside of your industry and sphere of influence.

‍Get to know other people whose lives look different than yours. Learn from leaders in other industries and glean insights from people you wouldn’t normally rub shoulders with. These connections might be more difficult to initiate, so be intentional when you run into someone different from you that you want to get to know.

‍4. Establish credibility.

‍Be the kind of person others trust to get things done. The best way to be credible is to keep your commitments. Do what you say you’re going to do. Be reliable, and ultimately, trustworthy. Proving your credibility in these relationships will be the most important factor in maintaining them and making them mutually beneficial for years to come.

The best way to be credible is to keep your commitments.

‍5. Pay it forward.

‍Be genuinely willing to help others. Don’t always have the mindset of “What can this relationship do for me?” But consider how you could invest in this relationship or help this individual in their professional or personal life.

Remember, social capital is valuable for everyone—from the CEO to the stay-at-home parent. Building deep relationships helps us thrive where we are and gives us an outlet to pour into others. We all need people in our lives to help us, challenge us, and encourage us on our journeys.

Spend some intentional time on your social capital this week. I can promise you that it will be time well spent.

Yes, we took our entire team to NYC.

I imagine there are a spectrum of responses to this fact:

From, “That’s so cool.”

To, “That sounds expensive.”

To, “How in the world can that be a smart business decision? Think of the time and money spent!”

And here’s my response: It’s not about New York. We’ve hosted a retreat in Chicago and many others only an hour from our office. The location doesn’t matter as much as the opportunity for our team to create shared moments.

Shared moments create shared memories.

‍At one retreat, we went horseback riding as a group. One of the horses walked into a bee’s nest and was instantly spooked. You can imagine the chaos as a couple members of our team got bucked off their horses while others held onto their horses for dear life! (I hope our insurance underwriter is not reading this). At one of our retreats last year, we surprised our team with a special guest speaker—former UGA Head Football Coach Mark Richt. We will always remember the intimacy and intentionality of that meeting with such an incredible leader.

This is not to mention the many late night conversations around campfires, the team building exercises, and the meals enjoyed together. We still talk about these experiences together, and they provide our team the framework for stronger work relationships to flourish.

‍Shared experiences create a fertile environment for trust to grow and trust helps teams go further and faster. ‍

Getting people out of their offices, out of their city, and out of their comfort zone provides them with an environment to build trust with the people around them. This also happens over time in the office as people work toward a common goal together. However, out of office retreats help expedite this process and teams are more unified and eager to work together when they return.

In any environment when you are trying to accomplish big things, you are going to encounter obstacles, frustrations, and differences of opinion. In fact, there will be times you flat-out disagree with others on your team. Without a foundation of trust, your ability to work through those differences will be challenging at best. The greater the level of trust, the better your ability to trust motives and keep moving during difficult times. When you truly know people, like with a spouse or close friend, you don’t allow small things to set you back.

So, that's why we do things like take our team to New York. (At least this is what we tell the finance people).

‍It’s also just a lot of fun.

Think about the ways you cultivate trust on your team. It may not be a retreat, but an investment in building trust will pay dividends for years to come.

The first time we went, George was fearless. He rode the rides with no problem and wanted to experience all the action. But the second time we went, it felt like I had brought a different child with me. He would let me know he wanted to ride something, so we would get in line, wait for an unreasonable amount of time, get all the way up to the front . . . and then he would melt down and say that he was too afraid to do it.The day at the water park was grueling.Was I frustrated because we wasted time? Yes.Was I more irritable because it was hot? Absolutely.But there was something more important that was bothering me. I was mostly frustrated that George was missing out. I didn’t want to force him to do something he didn't want to do, but I knew that his irrational fear was preventing him from doing something that he would actually enjoy.This experience at the water park turned out to be a great teaching moment for my son and a good reminder for me.When we were driving home, I looked at George in the rearview mirror, and said, “I want to explain to you why I wanted you to do those rides at the water park. I knew that you would enjoy it. If you would have just tried it, you would have loved it. Instead, today you allowed being afraid to hold you back from something I know would be fun. I don’t want fear to hold you back from doing good things in life.”Donald Miller said it this way: [highlight]“Fear is a manipulative emotion that will trick us into living a boring life.”[/highlight] Isn’t this lesson and this quote true for all of us? A boy wants to ask a girl out, but doesn’t because he’s afraid she might say no.The student doesn’t try out for the soccer team because she thinks she won’t make the roster.The people with great ideas don’t start the business because they are afraid to fail.The employee doesn’t voice his opinion because he’s afraid he won’t be heard.The neighbor doesn’t pursue the new friendship because she fears she’ll be rejected.How many things have we missed out on because of fear?Consider this, how many times have you been afraid but took the risk anyway? More often than not, the fear was far worse in your head than what happened in real life. So my advice to you and to me today is the same advice I gave my son: Don’t let fear hold you back from doing great things. [ctt template="2" link="IdfnM" via="no" ]Don’t let fear hold you back from doing great things. @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]When you take the leap, you might find joy.You might be challenged.And, guess what? You might even get hurt.But at least you won’t be bored. Life is meant to be experienced. It’s time to get off the sidelines and start living.

My wife’s dad passed away.Two days later, we welcomed our third child.Nine days later, we were in the hospital with him for viral meningitis. A week later, we were three hours away from home for my wife’s father’s funeral that had been delayed because of our life circumstances.As we look back on this difficult season for our family, one of the things we are so grateful for are the actions of people around us. The people who brought meals, offered to help, sent a card in the mail, or even sent a text to check in reminded us that we were not alone and encouraged us to keep moving forward. All of these meaningful, yet often small, actions reminded me that the smallest action is better than the grandest intention. Unfortunately, we can all fall prey to good intentions that are not carried out in actions. [ctt template="2" link="d6B5J" via="no" ]The smallest action is better than the grandest intention. @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]When was the last time you said something that started like this?I hoped to . . .I wanted to . . .I planned to . . .I intended to . . . If you’re like me, you probably did yesterday! [highlight]Often we don’t translate intentions into actions, because we are planning for bigger and bolder actions that never take place.[/highlight] I am not going to reach out to that client until I have these things together for them.I need to check in with that person on our team, but I’ll wait until we can go to lunch in a month.I am going to host this bigger event when I have more time.I’m gonna to start writing the book when I have something worth saying.I’m going to send that text when they’ve had some space to grieve.I’m going to offer to help when I have time to do more for them.Here’s my challenge to you today: Be comfortable with small actions. Then act.The purpose of this post is not to guilt you into doing more. It’s actually the opposite. I want to encourage you to get comfortable with doing less. Because doing less is far better than doing nothing. Whatever it is that you intend to do today, do it.Do it even if the action is much smaller than you think it should be.Do it because actions are always better than intentions.

He was in a place of privilege. He had an important job working directly for the king. His life was comfortable, but he heard about a challenge. There was an issue in his home country. Specifically, there was a wall built around the city for protection, and that wall was in disrepair. Nehemiah felt in his heart that he needed to do something about it, so he got permission from the king to leave his current job, go back to his home, and rebuild the wall. This is where we will pick up the story. At one point during this rebuilding process, Nehemiah encounters a group of people who are doing whatever they can to stop him from finishing the wall. They ask him to come down from the wall to meet with them, but he responds by saying, “I’m doing a great work, and I can’t come down” (Neh. 6:4). The thing I am working on is too important. I can’t be distracted at this moment. They ask him four times, and his answer is the same every time.

What does this story have to do with me and you? I believe each of us is called to a great work.

Most likely, it’s not to rebuild a wall in our hometown. Nevertheless, our work is important and the stakes are high for us and the people closest to us. Thankfully, we have a model to look to for help. Nehemiah’s response gives us a blueprint for what to do when we’re given something important to accomplish.

Here are three lessons we can learn from Nehemiah:

1. You have been called to a great work.

With the right purpose in mind, anything you are doing can be a great work. Though Nehemiah’s job was dirty and difficult, he pushed through to finish the task because he could see the greater purpose behind every brick he laid. Parenting often feels this way. Changing diapers and cleaning up messes isn’t glamorous, but it’s laying the foundation of care necessary to raise children who will become kind and caring adults. The same is true in the office.

Responding to emails, completing paperwork, and editing Excel spreadsheets isn’t always exciting work, but it’s important work and necessary for a business to succeed.

With the right purpose in mind, anything you are doing can be a great work.

2. There will be discouragement when you are doing a great work.

Just like Nehemiah had detractors, you will have people in your life discouraging you from continuing this good work. It could be an outside influence, but often it’s the people you are trying to serve who may not be grateful for the work you are doing. This happens all the time to pastors, teachers, and parents. The church member who always has a complaint, the students who roll their eyes as you begin another lesson, and the kids who claim they “never do anything fun” as you clean up the slip ‘n’ slip in the yard with sweat pouring down your face. It can even happen to a business leader who enacts policies that help the organization but are unpopular with the team. Let these moments be like water on a duck’s back for you, and keep working. It’s worth it.

3. Don’t quit in the middle of a great work.

When things get tough, it’s easy to want to give up. But if you’re in the middle of a great work, don’t quit until it’s over. Put your hand to the plow and push harder, or better yet, ask a friend or co-worker to help you. We all need people in our lives who are willing to give us a boost when we don’t have the energy to jump over another hurdle.

You are called to a great work. Don’t let it collect dust in your mind and heart, unfinished and abandoned. Be like Nehemiah, stay focused on the good work before you, ignore the detractors, and don’t give up. You never know how completing this great work could leave a lasting impact on the world around you.

I see the value of it from a business perspective daily as I work with our ADDO team. Setting goals for sales and customer service metrics provides our team specific targets to work toward. I also experience the value of goal setting in my personal life and the lives of my family members and friends. Big goals like getting out of debt, committing to run a marathon (someone else, not me!), working to lose weight, and reading a certain number of books a year help us use our time intentionally to grow. Leadership guru Zig Ziglar famously said, “If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time.”

And even author Mark Twain gave his two cents about goal setting: “Without dreams and goals, there is no living, only merely existing, and that is not why we are here.”

No one would deny the fact that goal setting is important and valuable. Yet, I think most of us don’t consider one potential pitfall that leads committed goal-setters to feel dissatisfied.

If we only spend time measuring ourselves against where we want to be instead of where we’ve come from, we can live in a state of perpetual discontent.

Dan Sullivan, founder of Strategic Coach, calls this problem the gap and the gain. The gap is the distance between where we are now and where we want to be. The gain is where we’ve come from and what we’ve accomplished so far. Dan explains the strange paradox between high achievers and a constant level of discontent. Can you relate? I know I can!

One option to avoid feeling discontent is to simply not set goals. That’s a bad idea. Dan’s advice is to keep setting goals, but to take time to measure yourself against where you were, not where you want to be. Your business is not where you want it to be, but look at how far you’ve come.

You haven’t hit your weight loss goal, but look at how much you’ve lost.

You haven’t hit your sales goal yet, but you are on track to surpass it by year’s end.

You aren’t running as fast as you want to be, but you are much faster than you were last year!

Your customer service ratings still need improvement, but they are moving in the right direction.

It’s good and proper to set your sights on the future. But it’s also important to enjoy the things you have accomplished and the ways you have grown. We must do both.

So here’s my advice:

Set the big goal and celebrate the small wins along the way.

Community has become a buzzword in recent years. We’re told it’s important. We’re told that we need it. And as leaders, we’re told to foster it. But if we’re honest, most of us don’t have any idea where to start. Let’s begin by defining it. Oxford English says community is “a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.”

This fellowship provides an outlet for mutual encouragement and support. It also provides a platform to solve problems, innovate, create, and impact. Strong communities of people can leave a lasting impact on the world around them, but strong communities don’t form overnight.

Know this:

The conscious cultivation of community requires the conscious commitment of time.

So, in addition to time, how do you tangibly foster, create, and cultivate community? Let me suggest two places to start: prioritize in-person connections and establish trust.

First, prioritize in-person connections over virtual ones.

‍Our smartphones and the internet make it possible to connect with people from all over the world instantly. We can host meetings from the comfort of our homes. We can text a hurting family member. We can get a life update about a friend from social media. We can watch a church service online.

These things in themselves are not bad. These virtual connections can be helpful. However, if we as leaders suggest that virtual connections are as beneficial as in-person ones, we’re creating a barrier for the people we lead to experience deep, meaningful, and productive relationships. Encourage your teams to meet in person. Encourage your family members to have meals together around the table (without devices!) and talk! Ask your friend to go out for coffee, so you can catch up.

There is no substitute for in-person relationships.

Second, establish trust.

‍Stephen Covey has identified these five ways to build trust in relationships:

1. Talk straight. Tell the truth, and don’t mince words. As Brene Brown says, “Clear is kind.”

2. Demonstrate respect, by showing you genuinely care about the person in front of you.

3. Listen first. Avoid assumptions and seek to understand.

4. Right wrongs. If you make a mistake, own it, and work to make it right!

5. Deliver results. Be reliable. Get the job done without excuses.

‍

Modeling these actions to the people you lead will help set the stage for trust building. After all, your team needs to trust you first before they will follow you and be active participants in the vibrant community you’re seeking to build.

Don’t forget; leaders need community too. In seeking to help the people you lead form a strong community, be active in creating community for yourself to thrive personally at work, at home, and in your other spheres of influence. Prioritizing in-person relationships and working to establish trust are great places to start.