Wait a minute.

Some of you read this blog for leadership insights.

Others of you are looking to improve your corporate culture and develop your team.

A few of you were just looking for a feel-good Thanksgiving story this week!

And now you’re sitting here wondering why I’ve opened this blog with a statistic about depression.

Here’s why:

Thanksgiving—and the holiday season—is a time when many people have a heightened awareness of their deferred dreams and unmet desires. If you’re already clinically depressed, or even just discouraged, this time of year can make it worse. There is no quick or easy fix to depression or despair, and it doesn’t discriminate between people. Wildly successful actors and comedians like Dwayne Johnson and Jim Carrey have both opened up about personal struggles with depression. Even heroes from the Bible weren’t immune to it. There was even a time when Moses asked God to take his life, and David asked himself a question that many of us can relate to: “Why are you cast down, O my soul?” (Psalm 42).

Though Thanksgiving is a time we’re supposed to be grateful, it often reminds us of the things we’ve lost or the things we’ve always wanted.

The bad news is that I don’t have an easy solution to lifting this heaviness, but I do have three pieces of advice that I’ve found can offer both help and hope when things are heavy:

1. Turn down the noise:

Spend less time with people who discourage you and less time consuming news and media that gives you anxiety. It’s good to be informed, but it’s important to be influenced by what is true, which brings me to my next point . . .

2. Replace the noise with truth:

Spend more time with the right people, the kind of people who remind you what is true. And spend more time consuming books, articles, and media that help you think about good things and meditate on what is true.

3. Develop a rhythm of thanksgiving:

‍Make gratitude a daily habit by cultivating it in your life. This could mean keeping a thankfulness journal, starting your day in prayer, or focusing on the bright spots of your day. Whatever practices you adopt, stick to them and make Thanksgiving a part of the rhythm of your daily life.

While this season can bring sadness, it’s still true that gratitude is good for us when we are struggling or feeling down. When we focus on what we do have, instead of what we don’t have, we can experience genuine gratitude and contentment, even in the midst of longing and loss.

When we focus on what we do have, instead of what we don’t have, we can experience genuine gratitude and contentment, even in the midst of longing and loss.

I sincerely hope you experience this kind of gratitude this week as you celebrate with your family and friends. A simple shift in your focus from what you don’t have to what you do have can go a long way.

Happy Thanksgiving!

So chances are, if you turn on any sports network, you’ll hear plenty of “coach speak.”Sure, there are some fun one-liners from Prime Time Deion Sanders, the head coach at Colorado. And Alabama coach Nick Saban, always seems to entertain when he gets frustrated with members of the media. But most of what you’ll hear are coaches (and the student-athletes), who have been painstakingly prepared with PR training, saying only the right things on camera. I respect the discipline, but it typically means interviews are far less fun. With all this “coach speak” flying around, I was encouraged to come across this video of University of Georgia coach Kirby Smart (Go Dawgs!) from the pre-season SEC media days. It’s no wonder that coaches are concerned about how they and their players appear on camera;[highlight]their leadership places them in a position where what they communicate carries a lot of weight.[/highlight]This is why Coach Smart gave his time in front of the camera to talk about something bigger than football—the cost of leadership. He gave three examples of difficult things good leaders experience:

1. They make hard decisions that sometimes negatively affect the people they care about.
2. They will be disliked despite their best attempts to do the best for the most.
3. They will be misunderstood and won’t always have the opportunity to defend themselves.

His comments reminded me of the Leadership Triangle.

The Leadership Triangle illustrates a truth that not everyone looking for a higher leadership position realizes. On one side of the triangle we have influence and on the other we have responsibility. As your leadership increases, so does your influence and your responsibility. Most of us like that part. But we often overlook the middle word: choices. As your influence and responsibilities increase, your choices narrow. Why? Because the stakes are higher, each decision becomes more important, carries greater impact, and has far-reaching consequences.[ctt template="2" link="5Ev9C" via="no" ]As your influence and responsibilities increase, your choices narrow. @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]Like Kirby Smart explained, a leader's decisions are weighty. The cost of leadership isn’t something you can ignore. The question is: Are you willing to pay the price of leading?Consider how your own degree of influence and responsibility affects your choices.If you wish you had more influence and responsibility, count the cost.If you have more narrow options than you like, don’t begrudge your responsibility and influence; lean in. Are your choices limited? Yes.Is it worth it? Absolutely. Your position is a privilege, and you should use it to make a lasting impact.

I spend my time at work helping business leaders and much of my time at home caring for children. So in a room full of high school students, I am the opposite of cool . . . and at a recent speaking engagement, I felt it.Off the stage and in between sessions, I walked directly up to Heather, one of my key leaders, and said, “I am not speaking to students anymore.” I felt like nothing I said was connecting with this group. I tried to manufacture energy and enthusiasm with every funny joke, and I was telling every good story I had in my arsenal. It seemed like nothing worked. It hasn’t always been this way. I used to love speaking to high school students. At one time, I was a younger guy traveling the world and able to share about my most recent adventures. However, my current reality seems so irrelevant to students now that it’s tough to tell if I’m able to connect.At this same event, I spoke to a second group of students. Thankfully, this group felt slightly more engaged than the first. At the end of this session, a student came up to me and wanted to talk about Essential Exchanges. She shared a personal story of how she had given up stability for significance. Through broken English, she explained that she moved to the United States from Moldova to seek an opportunity for a better life. While she is in high school, she is also working a job to help provide for her family. She moved away from everything that was comfortable and affirmed that my challenge to exchange stability for significance was one she has made. She told me that my talk helped her feel that the sacrifices she made, and the ones she's currently making, are worth it.This conversation encouraged me . . . and it also made me feel like a total jerk.Why didn’t I want to speak to high school students again? Honestly, because I was more concerned with being impressive than being impactful. I was focused more on myself and how I’m perceived rather than how I can best encourage or inspire the people to whom I’m speaking.This was a reminder to me of the truth that our ADDO team works hard to teach to organizations around the country: [highlight]Your work has worth.[/highlight] Regardless of the task you’re doing, you have a purpose. And when you remember your purpose, the mundane becomes meaningful. Focusing on myself makes it so easy to forget why I do what I do. I’m grateful I’m surrounded by people who are constantly helping me remember that I have a purpose bigger than myself.I don’t know what your engagement level at work is right now, but I want you to know that the antidote to disengagement is purpose.[ctt template="2" link="aUeJN" via="no" ]The antidote to disengagement is purpose. @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]We are all prone to discouragement, but you must remember that your work has worth.If you’re working the cash register at a restaurant, your work matters.If you are a customer service representative sitting in a call center, your work matters.If you’re teaching your fifth Geometry class of the day, your work matters.If you’re the founder of an organization who is experiencing the shifts of a new leadership team, your work matters.If you’re a stay at home parent caring for children and needs that nobody sees, your work matters.If you don’t know why your work matters, it’s time to identify your purpose. Why do you do what you do? What are you working for that’s bigger than yourself?If you know your purpose, tell it to yourself every single day, and even in the moments of disconnection and discouragement, you’ll be reminded that your work has worth.

At ADDO, we serve many of these kinds of businesses. Most of them have a corporate office and then many different geographically dispersed locations, with customer-facing workforces. Leaders in these corporate offices are working hard to inspire their frontline workers, and this is where we step in and help. We work to help them connect meaning to their work, even when it is hard—because serving the general public isn’t easy!

However, we are finding that there are two fields in particular who are struggling more than others to inspire their people: healthcare and education.

On the surface, this doesn’t make sense. Healthcare workers enter that industry to help people who are sick or hurting, and educators enter their field to make a difference in students’ lives. They are very clearly making a real-time impact, so why can’t they see it? Why are they so difficult to inspire?

It’s because they suffer from compassion fatigue.

Compassion fatigue is being worn down by constantly caring for the needs of others.

Though it existed before the pandemic, this fatigue has greatly intensified because of the lingering effects of COVID-19 on these groups of people and their jobs.

Even though we are three years removed from the first COVID cases, reports indicate that not just doctors and nurses are experiencing burnout, but every level of the healthcare workforce.

The same is true in education. Post-COVID burnout and anxiety are at an all-time high for teachers. One study found that U.S. teachers were 40 percent more likely to report anxiety symptoms than healthcare workers! You don’t need me to tell you that teachers are stressed.

So we know that healthcare workers and educators suffer from compassion fatigue, but other people are prone to this, as well. When employees are exhausted, they need inspiration. So what can you do to help?

One of the most important ways to inspire those struggling from compassion fatigue is to keep them focused on and connected to their mission. Here are three practical ways to encourage them:

1. Use the power of one:

‍If you ask people today how many people died in the Holocaust, most of them can’t tell you. But if you ask them if they have heard of Anne Frank, almost everyone would say yes. Data can be emotionally disconnected, so it’s important to tell individual stories that help confirm the impact of the work they are doing. It could be one student who was failing as a freshman and is now going to be the first member of his family to go to college. It could be one patient whose injury could have bound her to a wheelchair, but because of the skilled work of surgeons and care of doctors and nurses, she is walking and able to have a normal life. Leverage the power of one in your organization.

2. Shift the methods or the medium:

‍Mix up the mediums you are using to share stories with your team. Instead of the talking head at your weekly meeting, consider hiring a video team to capture a story to share with your team or hire a writer to find and share inspiring stories on a blog you can send out to your team. Another great thing about shifting the medium is that other forms of communication can also be shared with the people you serve!

3. Go back to the Why:

‍Ask your team members to tell you why they took this job in the first place. Remind them of their original desire to impact the lives of others. There are times when my wife gets frustrated because I don’t know where my keys are, and she always says, “Go back to the last place you remember having them.” We need to do the same thing when it comes to our passion: “When was the last time you had that passion?” It’s amazing how remembering when we were inspired in the past helps inspire us in the present.

Remembering when we were inspired in the past helps inspire us in the present.

If you’re in education, healthcare, or any other position suffering from compassion fatigue, thank you for reading, and thank you for the work you are doing. My hope is that you’ll be inspired to keep going. Your work matters, and you’re making a difference.

If you’re a leader working to inspire a team of people who are experiencing compassion fatigue, I’m so glad you’re reading. I hope you’ll work hard to inspire others. Be creative and help connect the work they are doing to something much bigger than themselves. You know their work matters, so remind them that they matter to you too.

Although I’m grateful for my degree and proud to be a college graduate, I can confidently say that I learned more from experiences outside of the classroom than from my academic work. It wasn’t that the academics weren’t important or challenging; it’s that the things most valuable to me now are the real life leadership skills I learned from involvement in organizations working alongside others. There are some great books about habits that effective people embody, theories about laws of leadership, and even essential exchanges that leaders should make. But when you boil it all down, I believe the three most essential skills that every leader needs are communication, collaboration, and critical thinking. 1) CommunicationIn order to work well with a group of people, the lines of communication have to be open and clear. To communicate well, you need to have empathy for other people. Communication isn’t as much about what’s being said as what’s being heard. And you can’t downplay the importance of persuasion. If you want to get people behind a goal, you must convince people that it’s worth achieving in the first place. Former President Gerald Ford once said that if he would have gone back to college he would have focused on two things: how to write and how to speak before an audience. President Ford understood that to be a leader, you must learn to communicate effectively. 2) Collaboration[highlight]No project of significance can be completed alone.[/highlight]My experiences in college helped me learn to work with people who think differently, believe differently, and work differently than I do. A team full of Kevins is a bad team, but if I can learn to work alongside a diverse group of people and leverage the unique strengths of individuals to achieve a common goal, we can accomplish anything. Some of my favorite colleagues are those with vastly different skill sets than me. When we can put aside our egos, our pride, and our desire to have complete control, it’s amazing what we can accomplish. 3) Critical ThinkingCritical thinking is crucial to problem-solving and overcoming obstacles. Are you able to see what’s not working? Once you know, are you able to come up with new ideas and then persist until you’ve accomplished your mission? While it’s true that everyone has leadership potential, if you don’t possess the ability to think critically, your leadership will be limited. [ctt template="2" link="hwf9b" via="no" ]While it’s true that everyone has leadership potential, if you don’t possess the ability to think critically, your leadership will be limited. @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]I’ve now been out of college for more than 15 years, and these three skills help me in any endeavor. They are the underpinning of Chick-fil-A Leader Academy, the leadership program we’ve co-created with Chick-fil-A. Don’t misunderstand me; there are certainly other philosophies and processes that matter in leadership, but these are the practical pieces every leader must master: communication, collaboration, and critical-thinking. Proficiency in these three areas will be the greatest contributors to your success and ability to succeed in any job, within any role, and at any organization.

No, really. Research suggests that all of us develop an opinion of another person in less time than it takes it to blink after that first glance.

How? We don’t know these people, and all we have to go on is how they look in that particular moment that we meet. Isn’t that shallow? Well, maybe, but it’s also just part of being human. We make opinions about other people based on the way they make us feel.

A person smiling will make us feel differently than a person grimacing.

A person with a relaxed posture will make us feel differently than a person who looks stiff and uncomfortable. A person who looks like they got ready for the day will make us feel differently than a person who looks like they just rolled out of bed.

First impressions aren’t the only decisions our minds make based on how we feel. In fact, many of our daily decisions come from our emotions. Some of you reading are starting to get defensive because you are logic-based, fact-confirmed decision makers. But even for those who don’t lead with their emotions, they still have a far greater impact than you might think.

Consider these questions:

Why do some people buy a particular brand of car that functionally does the same thing as a much less expensive car?

Why do people pay more for a shirt that has a particular logo on it?

Why do people eat food that they know is bad for them?

‍

In each of these scenarios, people make decisions based on what makes them feel good! That feeling may be pleasure, or it may be the perception that others will think highly of them. People want to feel good, and smart businesses capitalize on this truth. One way they do this is to invest intentionally in their marketing teams and to hire individuals gifted at helping them create narratives that will reach the hearts of their consumers. Research suggests that people are far more likely to buy a product based on how an ad made them feel than the actual product. So, creating better feelings can lead to bigger profits.

Creating better feelings can lead to bigger profits.

Former Vice President for Marketing at Chick-fil-A, Inc., David Salyers says: “Endearing is enduring.”

And this truth applies beyond a business proposition. When a politician endears themselves to their constituents, they are more likely to be reelected.

When you endear yourself to your neighbors, they will be more eager to help you when you need them.

When a principal endears herself to her teachers, they will embrace her new vision for the school more quickly.

In other words, when people like you, they are better to you.

I know what you might be thinking; how do I do this? How do I get people to like me? How can I practically endear myself to others?

Here are three practical ways:

1. Connect with people on a human level.

2. Show you genuinely care.

3. Practice a generous attitude toward others; one that is to add value, not extract value.

Maya Angelou said, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Feelings matter.

They matter in our relationships.

They matter in our businesses.

They matter in our communities.

Don’t underestimate the power of feelings, and seek to endear yourself and your organization to others so you can leave a greater impact.

By June of 1979, they had dreamed up The Home Depot and opened its first two stores in Atlanta. Marcus and Blank were two very different personalities, but they worked together to achieve a common goal: “to provide [customers] with the products, services and knowledge they need to create the homes of their dreams.” They wanted to empower people to do home projects on their own, so they prioritized hiring skilled employees who could do more than just show a customer where a product was in the store—they could provide instruction on how to complete almost any home project!Decades later, The Home Depot began to wander away from its core values and vision, so they hired Frank Blake as their new CEO to help right the ship. Shortly after he was given this new role, he flew down to have breakfast with founder Bernie Marcus to gain some wisdom and insight. Surprisingly, Marcus told him: [highlight]“I want you to remember this: You have a prominent role at Home Depot, but you do not have a significant role. The significant roles are held by the people who serve the customers every single day.”[/highlight]In one simple statement, Marcus recounted the heartbeat behind The Home Depot’s original vision. In order to succeed as a business, they needed the most engaged, passionate, and competent front-facing employees. The Co-Founder believed those roles are more significant than the CEO’s to the success of the business.OK, that’s a lot about Home Depot, but consider this question: Where does the magic of your organization happen? It might be the high school student taking orders at the counter at the fast food restaurant.Maybe it’s the delivery driver bringing the package to the customer’s front door.It could be the customer service representative answering the phone throughout the day to address every issue or question under the sun.In your company, it might be the salesperson knocking on another door to get the product into another person’s hands.For many medical providers, the front office assistant checking in patients for their appointments is critical to the patient experience.I love leadership. I’ve written books for leaders, and I consult with C-level executives. I believe their roles are immensely important, but the best leaders understand, value, and place disproportionate value on the right people inside each organization.Showing you value people can go a long way. John Templeton said, “It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”[ctt template="2" link="alafV" via="no" ]“It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.” –John Templeton @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]When you have the right perspective, you don’t have to pretend the front-line employees in your organization are important—because you know they truly are. In fact, they are more important than you. Your job is to lead, train, and support them to serve your customers well.Here’s my encouragement to you today: Align your focus as an organization on these pivotal moments, experiences, and interactions with your customers. In doing so, you’ll elevate the importance of those individuals who are crucial to customer experience.

But Dario would not tell you he sells clothing. If you ask him what he sells, he says, “I sell compliments and confidence.”

It’s catchy and compelling. He’s not pointing to the clothing he sells, but the impact that wearing his clothes will have on people.

Said another way, he isn’t selling the features of his product, he is selling the benefits.

This makes me think back on my first job, working in retail at Brookstone, a store in our local mall. Our initial training focused on the features of the products we were selling. So when we talked to our customers about Tempur-Pedic mattresses (one of the highest priced items we sold), I would highlight how the mattress foam was originally designed for NASA, that it provides pressure relief, and prevents motion transfer. All of these were true, but it didn’t help me sell many mattresses. One day one of my managers showed me the flaws of focusing on features. He explained how highlighting benefits for customers would improve my ability to sell.

The mattress will help you sleep better.

It will relieve pressure on joints. You will wake up more refreshed because you won’t feel your spouse tossing and turning at night!

Whether it’s clothing, mattresses, or anything else, if we want to sell effectively, we need to talk about benefits more than features. A feature is what a product does.

The benefit is what it does for you.

A feature of my book Inspired Every Day is that it is full of research-backed information on how to engineer inspiration in your daily life.

The benefit is that if you apply what you find in this book, you will wake up inspired every day.

A feature of our Chick-fil-A Leader Academy Program is that it is a highly engaging, video-driven curriculum.

The benefit of this program is that it’s easy for a teacher to facilitate, making it possible for them to make a big impact with less effort.

Because each of us have a desire to sound smart and credible, we often highlight features over benefits. This happens a lot in the world of technology. A group of engineers has worked tirelessly to create a new product, and they want to tell you all about how it functions. But in order to sell it, they need to emphasize how it will make your life easier, save you time, and help you move on to the next thing.

The more we are enamored by what we’ve created, the more we will emphasize the features rather than the benefits.

So here’s my advice to you today:

Whatever you’re selling, every time you share a feature, share a benefit as well.

When you’re recruiting a new team member, don’t just tell them about the job; highlight the benefits of working with your team.

When you’re encouraging your kids to eat healthy foods, don’t just tell them it’s good for their bodies; tell them it will help them run faster when they play tag with their friends!

When you’re raising money for your school, don’t just say the money is going toward books; say that the money is investing in the next generation of readers, thinkers, and leaders.

All of us are selling something. We will do it far more effectively when we clearly communicate the benefits!

I’m speaking to a group of 3,000 people next week, and I’m so excited. I’ve been asked multiple times if this will be the biggest group I have ever spoken to—and my response is that it’s not.

The biggest live audience I have ever spoken to was at my own college graduation . . . and all 12,000 people in attendance gave me a standing ovation. OK, you’re probably rolling your eyes right now. But I’m actually not sharing this to brag. I’m giving you this context because I want to confess something to you: Since my college commencement ceremony, I haven’t spoken to a group that big. I don’t know if and when I will ever speak to a group that large again. This might sound ridiculous, but I haven’t even hit 40, and I sometimes wonder if my biggest speech is behind me. And not only speeches, but what if the most fun projects and the biggest ideas are in the rearview mirror? If it’s true for me at my age, how much more prevalent might this feeling be for my friends in their 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s.

I believe this feeling of decline isn’t something we should ignore or give in to. The feeling is rooted in something much deeper, and it’s where we find our worth.

Let me provide some context:

Arthur C. Brooks wrote an article about this phenomenon in The Atlantic. He calls it the Principle of Psychoprofessional Gravitation. He explains that when people reach their professional peak, they often suffer greatly when they begin to decline (whether real decline or perceived decline.) One of the best examples he uses to explain this principle is Olympic athletes. They dedicate their whole lives to train for a chance to compete to win the gold medal. They may even win many medals, but eventually, they age. Their bodies wear down, and they can’t compete at the same level they did when they were at their peak performance.

It’s likely our professional success is not based on our physical fitness. But the reality for all of us is that we will eventually decline. That decline isn’t devastating unless our identity is completely wrapped up in our professional performance. Regardless of industry, we won’t be at our peak performance forever. So what do we do?

Here’s the short answer:

Don’t base your self worth on your job.

It doesn’t matter who you are or how important your work is; you can’t let it define you. Because when it’s gone, you will be aimless.

If you’re ambitious, it’s likely you’ll need this reminder.

Who you are and why you exist is much bigger than your job.

When your professional life shifts, changes, slows, or even halts, you still have a purpose.

Here’s my encouragement to you today: Know who you are outside of your work. Define your purpose and make sure it is anchored in something deeper than yourself or your present circumstances.