I deserve the best.

It doesn’t matter my path as long as I enjoy it.

There are a lot of social media philosophers these days. I struggle with a lot of these messages. In fact, when I stop to think about them, I’ve started to ask myself, “Does this just sound good, or is it actually true?”

I think a healthy dose of skepticism can be a good thing. We should examine quotations or hashtags, especially about faith, family, and friendship. Not everything that sounds good is always honest, or even helpful.

On the other hand, sometimes we can dig deeper and find the opposite is true. Sometimes a statement that, on the surface, seems too good to be true, actually contains deep, applicable wisdom.

One of these quotes is from Zig Ziglar:

“You will never consistently perform in a manner that’s inconsistent with the way you see yourself.”

It feels fluffy and self-centered, doesn’t it?

‍“You just need to see yourself better, so you’ll act better.” “You can’t be different until you see different.”

‍But if you dig deeper, you’ll find that Zig Ziglar was right. His simple statement is even backed up by deeper truth found in the Bible. “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7, KJV).

In other words, how you think in your heart determines who you become.

Life change really does start with a change in our minds. If we want to be different, we need to start thinking about things differently.  

If we want to be different, we need to start thinking about things differently.

I will not be able to consistently perform well if I don’t see myself correctly.

If I don’t believe my actions have an impact on my children, I won’t be intentional in my parenting.

If I don’t see money and possessions in the right perspective, I won’t be generous.

If I don’t see myself as a leader, I won’t lead others well.

If my co-workers aren’t important to me, I won’t show them that they are valuable.

If I am not convinced my faith will transform others’ lives, I won’t consistently share it with my neighbors.

If I don’t see myself as someone created in the image of God, I will allow my worth to be dictated by the opinion of others.

The way we see ourselves and think about ourselves matters. As I’ve said many times, how we view things really does change how we do things.

So this week, think about your thoughts.

Make a conscious effort to be aware of what’s on your mind. If you can change your thinking, you will most certainly change your life.

There are some days where I feel like every. single. word. that comes out of my mouth is a correction for my son. Don’t throw that ball in the house. Stop hitting your sister. Sit down. Stop running in the kitchen. Now, to be clear, I think discipline and correction is good and important. Children need boundaries and thrive under parents who lovingly show them the right way to live. However, I don’t think it’s good when my son receives more words of correction than words of encouragement from me.

Stephen Covey talks about how our children have emotional bank accounts. It’s important that we make regular deposits by reminding them that they are loved and by encouraging the good we see in them. This way, when we need to make a deposit, a correction or criticism, our children are confident it’s coming from a place of deep care.

I’m learning that finding the right ratio of encouragement and correction is vitally important to successful parenting.

Ok, you didn’t come here for parenting advice, (and even if you did, I’m not sure I’m most qualified to give it!).

But here’s a business application: Finding the right ratio applies to more than just our kids’ emotional bank accounts. When applied, this communication concept can greatly impact organizational health.

At ADDO, there have been seasons where we needed to focus more on profit. We are a business, and we can’t survive without profit. The more money we make, the more lives we can inspire today to impact tomorrow. Profit fuels purpose. But if we spend more time talking about money than our mission, we are sending a message that making money is the primary goal. And not surprisingly, people feel less inspired and less happy with the actual work they are doing. The work becomes a means to a paycheck, instead of an important part of the purpose. We need to find the balance of preaching about profit and emphasizing our purpose.

The right ratio leads to the right results.

Here’s another example: If the pastor of a church is asking for volunteers, he should remind his congregation of the purpose behind what they are doing. Those who serve in the children’s ministry are planting seeds in little hearts, while those serving on the hospitality team are making visitors and members feel more comfortable. If he is only focused on communicating the number of volunteers they need, it will feel more like a burden to serve than an opportunity to join the church’s mission.

Or if the president of the PTA  is looking for volunteers for Teacher Appreciation Week, they should remind the parents of why it’s important to encourage their child’s teachers. The teachers need to be filled up with encouragement and reminded that their work matters and has a huge impact on the children they serve. If the PTA president only focuses on what they need to accomplish to make it through the week, the parents involved will feel stressed, and the teachers won’t feel as appreciated as they should!

When we don’t have our ratios right, our communication is unbalanced and falls flat.

If we only focus on correcting our kids, they might be well-behaved, but they won’t feel very loved.

When we only focus on profit, our businesses may make a lot of money, but our teams won’t be engaged.

If we only focus on the number of volunteers we need, they might miss the joy of being a part of the mission.

Evaluate your ratios this week. If you find yourself focusing too much in one area, use language to intentionally bring balance.

The book contains 511 observations about how to live a “happy and rewarding life.” Not surprisingly, the book became a huge success and is still a staple gift for high school and college graduates across the country. Here are a few famous pieces of advice from his book:

"Compliment three people every day."

"Never forget your anniversary."

"Smile a lot."

"Every person that you meet knows something you don’t; learn from them."

"Call your mother."

"Overpay good babysitters."

"When you go to borrow money, dress as if you have plenty of it."

"Buy a used car with the same caution a naked man uses to climb a barbed-wire fence."

"Say something positive as early as possible every day."

"When loved ones drive away, watch until you can no longer see the car."

"Carry a small Swiss Army knife on your keychain." But this one in particular caught my eye:

"When there’s a piano to be moved, don’t reach for the stool."

He’s telling his son that there are far too many people ready to carry the stool when there’s a piano to be moved! Son, you carry the piano. Do the hard work.

This week, I am wrapping up a three-part series about pursuing an honorable ambition. Remember, an honorable ambition is a strong desire to do something good. In this blog series, I have used 1 Thessalonians 4:11 as my template for pursuing an honorable ambition, and in this verse, Paul lists three ways to do so:

1) lead a quiet life

2) mind your own business‍

3) work with your hands

At the time Paul was writing, this challenge to work with your hands was really a challenge to do real work. Hard work. In our day and age, physical labor might be involved in hard work, but it doesn’t always have to be. The emphasis here is pursuing work that requires effort and leaves no room for laziness. Just like Brown encouraged his son, it should be our ambition to move the piano—it should be our ambition to work hard at whatever we do.

Working hard not only helps us find satisfaction in our daily tasks, but it also helps us live out the two other honorable ambitions we’ve already unpacked: leading a quiet life and minding your own business. Think about it. When you are working hard, you don’t have time to be infatuated by the noise of entertainment, news, and social media. You have to stay focused on the task at hand. And when you’re working hard, you also don’t have time to be a meddler or a gossip—you have to mind your own business to get your work done!

This is going to sound overly simplified, but I think it’s important to say:

Hard work is hard. Hard work is satisfying, but it’s still hard.

I talked about this in my very first post. Proverbs 14:4 says, “Where there are no oxen the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox.” In other words, the mess you are facing is evidence that you have been given a blessing—good work to do! We can be sure we will face obstacles in our work, but they are not indicators that we need to give up or get another job. This is a mistake I see so many young people make today.

Hard work is hard.

News flash: It doesn’t matter how many leadership books you read, if you aren’t willing to do the hard work, you won’t ever be a good leader.

One final note about honorable ambition: it’s easy for us to base the success of our work on the expectations or opinions of others. Though it’s good to get the feedback of people you trust, you need to remember that the measure of your success is your actual work—not another person’s opinion. So my challenge to you this week is to ask yourself a simple question: Am I doing the hard work?

Find space for the quiet.

Mind your own business.

Do the hard work.

Make these your ambition.

Last week, I started a three part blog series about pursuing an honorable ambition. Hopefully you remember, ambition is a strong desire to do or achieve something. [highlight]The merit of any ambition is the motivation behind it.[/highlight] Sadly, not all ambitions are good ambitions. This is why I suggested an honorable ambition is a strong desire to do something good. Just like Thomas Merton explained, we could achieve the success we strongly desire, but if our ambition is wrong in the first place, we fail!We are using 1 Thessalonians 4:11 as our guide for pursuing an honorable ambition. Paul lists three ambitions we should have: 1) lead a quiet life, which we tackled last week, 2) mind your own business, and 3) work with your hands.This week, we’re going to talk about what it means to mind your own business while also caring for the people around you.It is an honorable ambition to mind your own business. Now, on the surface, this is an odd statement. It feels a little like the paradox of having an ambition to lead a quiet life. Is the goal to keep to yourself? Not exactly. Let me share a story to help illustrate what I mean.During Winston Churchill’s last year in office, the World War II hero attended an official ceremony. Several rows back, two gentlemen began whispering about the old, famous politician. They talked about how he was “getting senile” and needed to make way for “younger and more capable men” to lead. When the ceremony was over, Churchill turned around and said, “Gentlemen, they also say he is deaf!” When Paul says to “mind your own business,” he’s telling us to not meddle in the affairs of others. Don't gossip, and don’t be a busy-body. We are often so concerned about what other people are doing that we fail to do our own work well. Some sit in their offices, over-analyzing the performances of other team members, envious of their projects, and wondering if they will ever get the same opportunities.Others look at their neighbors, focused on what they are doing instead of their own lives.Even worse, some are always criticizing their own family members. Rather than supporting their siblings, they are often trying to one up them in some way—a better job, a nicer house, a bigger family. You cannot accomplish the responsibilities of your own life if you are constantly focused on everybody else’s.[ctt template="2" link="4gn2_" via="no" ]You cannot accomplish the responsibilities of your own life if you are constantly focused on everybody else’s. @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]However, it’s important to note that minding your own business is not a call to stop caring about the people around you. It’s a challenge to check yourself to see that what you are thinking and saying about someone else is good. Here are five questions to THINK about before you speak about another person:1. Is it True? Is what you are about to say true about this person? If not, it’s a no brainer: don’t say it.2. Is it Helpful? Will saying this be helpful to the person?3. Is it Inspiring? Would saying this be uplifting to the person?4. Is it Necessary? Does this need to be said?5. Is it Kind? Is what you are about to say caring toward this person?Minding your own business is honorable, and it should be your ambition. Focus on doing the work you have been given to the very best of your ability, instead of meddling in the lives of others.

Some of you view ambition in a negative light. You might think it’s self-serving—like the person who leaves their family, friends, and even team members in the dust to accomplish something for their own satisfaction or fame. But ambition in itself isn’t negative. Ambition, when applied to the right goal, is a very good thing. Here is a simple and helpful definition: Ambition is a strong desire to do or achieve something.

Recently, I’ve grown to understand the concept of ambition more deeply by studying 1 Thessalonians 4:11. In this letter, Paul encourages his readers to live their lives in a very specific way: “make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands.”

This passage gives us three ways to pursue ambition in an honorable way:

1) lead a quiet life, 2) mind your own business, and 3) work with your hands.

Over the next three weeks, I am going to unpack each of these principles and what they mean for our lives today. This week, we’re going to dive into what it means to lead a quiet life and why it matters.

At first glance, an ambition to lead a quiet life feels like a paradox. It seems like you are saying, “Have BIG GOALS and BIG DREAMS to . . . pull back?” However, remember our definition of ambition? It’s a strong desire to do something, and I would take it a step further to say;

An honorable ambition is a strong desire to do something good.

Leading a quiet life is a very good thing. And quiet doesn’t mean you might not stand out. In reality, this pursuit is really about a quietness of the mind and heart. Having the space for quiet stands in stark contrast with our modern culture. Our hearts and minds are constantly stimulated by social media, entertainment, and news sources. In 1985, Neil Postman published a book called Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business. In it, Postman argued that our modern world looks much more like Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World than George Orwell’s 1984. In Orwell’s book, people are oppressed by government control, but in Huxley’s book, people are controlled by their own obsession with amusement. Postman wrote his book before the internet age and the introduction of social media; yet, his words are even more true today!

Here is my challenge for you (and for me) today: Turn down the noise. In order to lead a quiet life, we must have real moments of quiet and stillness in our daily lives.

Are you finding space to focus on what’s most important?Are you taking the time to remind yourself of what is true, instead of taking in what everyone else is saying?

Do you have times when you are turning off your phone? (Wow, I struggle with this one!)

The need to be constantly connected hinders our ability to authentically connect with others.

It is an honorable ambition to lead a quiet life. Not only does it serve us in our own personal growth, development, and productivity, but it also makes us better family members, friends, and coworkers.

I’ve published this blog every single Tuesday since September of 2016. This is the first time that it’s fallen on my birthday.

Today we are going to switch it up. I’ve compiled a list of 38 thoughts --- principles, sayings, truths, and quotes. I have a short attention span, so 38 is a lot. I hope you’ll take the time to read them, and more importantly, take a couple of them and apply them to your life.

1. There is no better way to see the world changed than to be a part of changing the world. Get off the sidelines and do something.

2. If you want big results, set big goals. It's not easy, but it is simple.

3. Obedience is more important than feelings. Ike Reighard says, “The great doors of opportunity swing on little bitty hinges called obedience.”

4. It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

5. Conformity: Doing what everyone else is regardless of what is right. Morality: Doing what is right regardless of what everyone else is doing.

6. The most important things in life aren't things.

7. Paulus Wiratno says, “Compassion means you are willing to be disturbed.”

8. Excellence is always in demand.

9. If you have a pulse, you have a purpose.

10. God has given you resources, not to increase your standard of living, but your standard of giving.

11. The best way to know God is to spend time with Him.

12. The most dangerous risk of all: the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy the freedom to do it later.

13. "Fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life." – Donald Miller

14. If you want to change the world, you have to break the rules. Remember, Orville Wright never had a pilot's license.

15. In order to make a difference you have to be different.

16. When my favorite teams lose, it shouldn’t affect my entire weekend. I still love sports, but it’s just not that important.

17. My kids are growing up fast. I need to enjoy each season. Yes, even the hard, frustrating, exhausting ones.

18. Don’t be afraid to like what you like.

19. Take the trip.

20. Find what’s important and where you add the most value. That’s where to focus.

21. There is no such thing as work-life balance. You may not always get to do what you love, but you can learn to love what you do.

22. You can love the past without living in it.

23. Loyalty to those you love is good in the good times, but essential in the tough times.

24. Just because you have the right to do something does not make it right!

25. When you lower standards people don't decide to give you more, they give you less.

26. My dad always said: If you’re going to be stupid, you’ve got to be tough.

27. Choosing your friends is choosing your future. "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." - Proverbs 27:17

28. Ignore the boos, they usually come from the cheapest seats.

29. Don’t worry about the critics. It’s better to take your chances with the public.

30. "People will always try to stop you from doing the right thing if it is unconventional.” - Warren Buffett

31. “Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter.” - Francis Chan

32. “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” - Corrie ten Boom

33. Find ways to make memories and visit them often. Cesare Pavese says, "We do not remember days, we remember moments.”

34. You can't change that which you tolerate.

35. Stop chasing the next thing. The next paycheck, the next client, the next book, the next country, the next house. Too much focus on what’s next makes you wish your life away.

36. Most of your big achievements aren’t nearly as satisfying as you hoped they would be.

37. Success is not measured in the money you make or the recognition you receive, but more so in the lives you touch and the impact you have.

38. My favorite Zig Ziglar quote, “The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now.”

‍

I’m thankful for each of you in my life. Many of you who receive this list are friends, fellow church members, colleagues, and other incredible people I’ve met along the way.

And, if you feel so inclined to want to get me something for my birthday, please consider making a donation to Untold, an organization I truly believe in.

After work.After taking the kids to swim lessons.After trying to get dinner ready.(My wife is a hero and typically does a lot, if not most of this. But she had to work late tonight.)Are you ever exhausted at the end of the day? Especially after a Monday?A typical Monday goes like this:Alarm goes off.Jump in the shower,Grab a quick breakfast (probably don’t have time).Hop in the car,Leaving 15 minutes early to get to work and prep for my first meeting.Accident on the interstate,All lanes are shut down—Go from 15 minutes early to 20 minutes late.Late to the first meeting,Try to wrap early, but still late to the second meeting.Now heading to lunch.Check in on projects.Wrap up work day.Options in front of me:I could go work out orGo home and hang out with my family.I really need to work out;I’m definitely out of shape.But I really need to get home to my family.I skip the workout, head home, and walk in the door.This is the moment I need to be fully present for my family, but often I’m not. I’m distracted, thinking of the twists and turns of the day’s events, and it’s difficult for me to give my wife and children my best, my undivided attention.Did you know that the Jewish day starts in the evening? Their days begin at sundown when their work is finished. That concept is an interesting shift from my typical perspective. Often at the end of the day, one where I’ve been pulled in a million different directions, I’m just trying to power through this time—to just make it to bed.If we embraced this practice, imagine how this would change these hours for us.[highlight]How much more do I have to offer at the beginning of the day than at the end?[/highlight]I want to live and lead in a way that I offer my best to the people who need it the most. I don’t want to run out of steam before I get to the most important part of my day.I’m from the south, so this is a good illustration for me: Imagine going through the buffet line, and you see there’s one last bit of macaroni and cheese in the edge of the pan. Do you want to take the last, cold, crusty scoop? Or do you want to wait for them to bring out the fresh pan of hot, bubbly macaroni and cheese? I know where I stand. I’m holding up that buffet line to wait on the good stuff!I don’t want my family to get the last little bit—the leftovers. I want there to be an abundance, so I can give them the best, not just what’s left.[ctt template="2" link="bpw0g" via="no" ]I don’t want my family to get the last little bit—the leftovers. I want there to be an abundance, so I can give them the best, not just what’s left. @KevinPaulScott [/ctt]In my current stage of life, I need to focus on my family. However, if you’re reading this, I’d challenge you to think about who needs to receive your best but often just gets what’s left. For you, it might not be the time at home in the evening; it might be the big meeting that you need to be fully engaged in but you’re not. Maybe it’s the Sunday School lesson you need to prepare that’s been pushed to the back-burner. Maybe it’s a phone call that you need to make to your friend that’s struggling, but you squeeze the call in during a quick commute when you’re partially distracted.Take some time to think about this question:What is the part of my day that most needs my time, energy, and effort, and how do I allocate my energy accordingly?This week let’s make every effort to give our best, not what’s left, to the people most important to us.

I’m always impressed by Logan’s intentionality and creativity he brings to a project. Back when he was in college, he rolled out a new visual identity standard for ADDO. (That’s a fancy way to say he helped us with our logos, colors, and how we use them.) It’s been a couple of years since his presentation, but I vividly remember him including this quote by Pablo Picasso,

“Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.”

‍For someone like me who doesn’t feel cultured in the arts, quoting Picasso might not usually grab my attention, but I loved this quote. It cuts to the core of what I believe about life. If we understand the rules, veering from them can be a strategic decision to move toward something unique. I’m not just talking about a mistake that ends up turning out OK; I’m proposing an intentional deviation.

This quote reminded me that the people moving the world forward are not always the rule-followers, but they aren’t necessarily the consistent rule-breakers—they are the ones who know when to color inside the lines and when to break free. It’s important to know the rules, and it’s also important to know when to break them.

There’s an interesting article by Dr. Adam Grant about straight-A students. The premise is that students with perfect GPAs are more likely to fall into a system rather than take a risk on a creative opportunity. That’s why many of the world’s most influential individuals didn’t graduate with outstanding grades.

In this article, Grant gives some significant examples: “This might explain why Steve Jobs finished high school with a 2.65 G.P.A., J.K. Rowling graduated from the University of Exeter with roughly a C average, and the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. got only one A in his four years at Morehouse” (The New York Times).

Following the rules isn’t wrong, but if you’re locked into a system, you probably won’t push things forward. Your perfection won’t allow you to move from good to great.

If you’re like me and lean toward breaking the rules, make sure to channel this energy appropriately. It’s important to remember your boundaries. Listen to the rule-followers, but make intentional, measured decisions when it’s time to buck the system.

If you’re a rule-follower, I want to challenge you to occasionally break free of the system. For you, this might mean helping the rule-breaker break the right rules at the right time and earning the opportunity to be a part of something truly extraordinary.

The rules are there for a reason. But you are here for a reason too. Make decisions that show you understand both.

While I wouldn’t want to live there, it’s one of my favorite places to visit. The excitement of the energy is electric.

Being back in the city reminded me of a Tom Rinaldi book, The Red Bandana. In the book, Rinaldi tells the story of Welles Crowther, an equities trader who was working in the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. Crowther’s heroic actions saved at least twelve people in the World Trade Center that day. Although his body wasn’t identified until months later, Crowther’s family knew what he had done because multiple survivors of the attack had identified him as the hero covering his mouth and nose with a red bandana.

Rinaldi’s telling of Crowther’s story moved me, but one specific part of this book captured my attention and challenged me to consider my dreams.

It was Crowther’s dream to be a firefighter. Although he pursued a career as an equities trader after college, Crowther was not completely fulfilled in his work. In the summer of 2001, he decided that he would begin the journey and pursue his dream of becoming a firefighter, dedicating the rest of his life to saving lives. He made this decision just months before the attacks on the World Trade Center, and even though he didn’t become a firefighter, he did dedicate the final moments of his life to saving the people around him. Rinaldi uses Crowther’s decision to pursue his dream to challenge his readers to consider our own dreams.

Rinaldi writes:

‍

‍“When did you stop? When did you put the hope away, shifting it from something real to something… lesser? When did the dream leave you as an aspiration and float off into the province of the never-to-be?

Probably, never crept up gradually. No sudden awakening in a cold sweat, no precise moment of terrible clarity. There is often no sharp edge to surrender, no bright line between chasing and letting go of the dream of what our lives could become before we get caught in the gears of daily living, the hundreds and thousands of tiny compromises that move us through the day. The lock doesn’t stop to make the time between the last through when your goal was still calling to you and the next, by which it had drifted past range, caught between radio stations like static, until the fade is complete. Silence.

It’s a creeping capitulation, the recognition of what we’re able to manage. That awareness comes in slow degrees, and at different times, in all our lives. It comes through the circumstances that shape us, the weather inside us, the failures that drag us below a line. You know the line—the one between what we want and what we accept.”

‍

‍What a great reminder for all of us! At what time in your life did you stop believing in what could be and settled for what is?  Is there something you have always wanted to do?

Remember: When we only listen to what’s practical instead of what’s possible, our dreams die.

‍Consider your dreams this week. Do you have dreams that you need to bring back to life? We don’t know how much time we have in this life, so you better start today.