At the end of the week, I spoke to a group of 30 high school students.The stadium speech was a thrill, but something happened in the conversation with high school students that truly caused me to think.At the end of my talk, one student asked me this question: What do I do when I feel less than other students who are achieving more than me?The psychological term for that student’s question is called relative deprivation, and it’s something that affects students, adults, and every single person who has ever been on social media!Personally, I didn’t struggle with this as much until I was an adult. I remember being a year or two out of college, and when I compared myself to my circle of friends, I thought I was doing well. Then, I visited a friend who was living in New York and worked in the finance industry. I quickly realized that if I were to compare myself to him, I’d be losing. My job was not nearly as prestigious, my clothes not nearly as nice, my home not nearly as impressive, and my life not nearly as exciting as his.It was a fun visit to New York with friends, but I remember returning home and feeling inadequate.Relative deprivation. Social scientists define this concept as “the discontent people feel when they compare their positions to others and realize that they have less of what they believe themselves to be entitled than those around them.”Said another way: Comparison is the thief of joy.[ctt template="2" link="gffse" via="no" ]Comparison is the thief of joy. @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]It happens when we see our neighbor pull up in a brand-new car and wonder if we’ll ever be able to afford a nicer vehicle.It happens in the business world when we go to someone’s new office space and wonder why they have the clients and success we don’t have.It happens when the pastor sees the church down the road that’s double the size of their tiny church building.It happens when your coworker receives the promotion you think you deserve.It happens when your friend’s child gets into their dream college while your child is struggling in school.When we start comparing ourselves to one another, we start to feel less than, but here’s the truth: We were not created to have an equal amount of things.This is a tough reality for some people to accept, but it’s a reality, nonetheless. We must fight the urge to compare and choose to focus on what we do have.The inverse of this struggle is equally as dangerous. When we compare ourselves with others who have less than we do, we have a false feeling of superiority.[highlight]Getting caught in the comparison game is a terrible trap that results in a self-image based on the people you encounter each day.[/highlight]So, here’s our challenge this week: Stop worrying about what everyone else has and be thankful for what you have. I know this is easier said than done, but you’ll be far more fulfilled when you put this principle into practice.
I’m saying that a potential customer comes along, and to gain their business, I commit to building something outside of our wheelhouse and core competencies.And while that may work in the short term, it’s not a sustainable approach.I’ve heard it said this way: What you win them with is what you win them to. [ctt template="2" link="N9b0O" via="no" ]What you win them with is what you win them to. @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]I’m going to share a business example with you, but know this principle applies to churches and charities, as well. No matter the type of organization, mission drift is dangerous.Consider this scenario: You are great at baking, specifically baking cakes. You launch your new business, and you start making cakes for your friends, and their friends, and before you know it, your business is off the ground. Cake-making is something you enjoy, and it’s the offering you want to build your business around.One day, someone calls, and they ask you to make a large order of sandwiches to cater an upcoming event. Sure, you know how, but it’s not really what you do. Beyond that, it’s not what your business is about. You decide to do it with the hope of earning this customer’s business, thinking that the next time, they’ll ask you to bake a cake.Instead, the next week, that customer calls back and wants more sandwiches. Then they’ve referred you to their friends. What do their friends want? You guessed it, more sandwiches.There’s no problem with making sandwiches, but now, the offering you’ve won their business with, is the offering that they keep coming back to.Or how about this situation? You own a painting company. That’s your expertise and your passion. A large business calls you, but instead of asking you to paint, they ask you to clean their office space. It’s out of the scope of what you do, but you decide that just this once you’ll do it, hoping to earn their painting business down the road. However, every few months they call you back, not asking you to paint, just asking you to clean again. You’ve made a strategic mistake—the thing you’ve won their business with is unfortunately all they want you to do.As a business owner, I’ve felt this temptation to alter our offerings to gain an exciting new customer. As my imagination runs wild with all the possible ways this client could help grow our business, I realize how easy it is to stray from the core of who we are and what we do well.I’m not suggesting we should be unaccommodating to our clients and customers, but I am cautioning against getting the wrong business. When you alter what you do to attract a customer, they will often expect you to continue doing more things that are not central to who you are as an organization. If you continue shifting from the core of your business, your identity as an organization is at stake.This can take on many different forms. A great example is drastically discounting the rates you charge to get a customer to say yes. It’s easy to rationalize when you’re just trying to attract new business, but it can often be a dangerous practice. That customer who got the deep discount is unlikely to ever want to pay full price.[highlight]When you’re willing to say or do anything to get a sale, you cheapen your offering, discount your ability, and sell yourself short.[/highlight]This week, consider the core of your mission and approach. Then commit to it.You might need to make some concessions, but you must remember that what you win them with is what you win them to.
I’m a lifelong fan of the Atlanta Braves, so I’m loving all of the celebrations from winning the World Series last year.
I love the story of George Brett, who played twenty-one years for the Kansas City Royals and finished his career with more than 3,000 hits and 300 home runs. Brett was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1999.
As he neared the end of his career, a reporter asked him how he would like his very last at bat to go. Everyone assumed that his answer would be to go out with some fanfare—it’s the World Series, bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, two outs, full count, and he hits a home run to win the game.
However, the answer Brett gave was surprising and far less dramatic. He said that he wanted the last play of his Major League Baseball career to be an average play. He wanted to hit a slow-grounder to the second baseman, and he wanted the second baseman to field it easily and throw him out as he was running to first. But when he threw him out, Brett said he wanted to be running as fast as he could toward the bag.
That story is inspiring and challenging. Brett wanted to be known as a man that sought excellence in every play of his career, not just the big ones.
Here’s a question for each of us: Can you say the same of yourself? Do you strive for excellence on the ordinary days, not just the big ones?
I get it. We all get tired, burned out, and go through seasons of discouragement. But even in the middle of the mundane, we should give our very best.
It’s easy to pursue excellence when you’re trying to land the big job, get the big client, or close the big sale, but on the day packed with meetings to attend and emails to return, are you committed to bringing your best?
Take some time today to think about the way you walk through your personal and professional life.
Do you strive for excellence in the mundane moments?
Do you pursue your relationships constantly?
Do you strive to produce your best work, even when nobody’s watching?
Trust me, I know it’s a lot easier to say this than it is to put this into practice. But if every one of us showed up every single day with excellence as our goal, imagine the impact we could make!
I take it to the tire shop closest to me and they present me with two options:
Option one is cheaper and faster. But, more likely than not, I’m going to be back in here in a few days. Option two will cost more and take longer, but we know it will work.
Do you ever feel torn between a choice that’s more expedient in the short-term and one that will pay off over the long term?
There may be legitimate reasons to choose the first option, especially if you can’t afford to replace the tire right now. However, when we choose what’s best long term, we are almost always glad we did.
The idea is going to take too much work.
The weight loss isn’t happening as quickly as I want.
The relationship is requiring a lot more work than I expected; is it worth it?
I want to be fully engaged as a dad, but I don’t want to entertain my child who can’t even talk to me; surely, she won’t notice if I escape to my phone for a little while.
I know I need to save for the future, but retirement seems too far away.
This whole starting a business thing is too much work; wouldn’t I rather go work somewhere that I can leave the problems when I go home?
Investing in my coworkers on top of getting my work done is exhausting; maybe I should give up trying to do both?
Actively serving the church is too tough at this stage of life; I’ll just enjoy the Sunday morning service and not invest too much energy.
Zig Ziglar said, “The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now.”
This is one of my favorite quotes. It communicates a fundamental truth that I fully embrace, and it’s the concept that inspired my first book.
But as simple and true as that quote is, it’s HARD to put into practice.
The thoughts creep in. The frustration mounts. The future feels like too far away. And it seems a lot easier to sacrifice that future to enjoy this moment.
It’s tempting, but it’s not worth it.
I don’t want to get down the road and have my story filled with “should have,” “could have,” or “wish I would have.”
The goal is worth it. Keep your eye on the prize and make the commitment to exchange the immediate for the ultimate.
And, yes, I went ahead and got the new tire.
When I believe something will be valuable, I start to highlight the many benefits. And occasionally, I have the tendency to overpromise.And that’s a problem. Not just overpromising. [highlight]Anytime we set expectations too high, we run a real risk of disappointing people.[/highlight]Let me give you an example:More than ten years ago I went to Cuba for the first time and had an incredible experience. It’s tough to put into words how fascinating it was—it’s only 90 miles from the United States, but in many ways, it felt 50 years apart. I loved the experience and was eager to take others back to with me.After working through the licensing process to take people legally into Cuba, we created an “ADDO Ambassador Trip.” Something surprising happened… many individuals on our first trip returned home disillusioned and disappointed.Don’t get me wrong, they thought Cuba was interesting. However, they were unimpressed with the hotel because it was old. Communication with friends and family back home was difficult because access to Wi-Fi was limited—it was unbelievably expensive and worked at the speed of dial-up internet. Our schedule was constantly changing and required flexibility as the itinerary shifted from day to day.We learned that our participants enjoyed the culture and experience, and most of the dissatisfaction was simply the result of unmet expectations. As an organization, we had failed to lay out clear expectations for the trip.Rather than give up hope that we could make this work, we devised a plan. The next time we took a group to Cuba, we created a flyer appropriately named “Is Cuba Right for You? Maybe.” In this brochure we explained that Cuba is a unique cultural experience, and that it is not going to be your typical Caribbean vacation. We made it clear that they would not be staying at an all-inclusive island resort, but instead would be immersed in the culture of the Cuban people, experiencing a slower pace of life. We encouraged everyone to be flexible. We explained that Cuba is an adventure, full of fascinating, unexpected, and often challenging experiences. In a tongue-in-cheek way, we suggested if someone were looking for an easy trip, they should explore an all-inclusive somewhere else.The result? Amazing! After laying out these clear expectations, our next group loved the trip. The hotel was still outdated. There was still no easy access to the internet. Our communication problems were the same. Our schedule shifted and changed. But the expectations had been set, people were prepared, and they loved it!Don’t miss this: Satisfaction with an experience is largely dependent on expectations being met or exceeded.[ctt template="2" link="28IoG" via="no" ]Satisfaction with an experience is largely dependent on expectations being met or exceeded. @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]Guess what? The same principle applies in many other areas of our personal and professional lives.If we expect to wait ten minutes when we call a customer service line, we are excited when a person answers in less than two minutes.However, when our significant other doesn’t answer the phone as soon as we call, we are frustrated.The all-inclusive resort you booked for your honeymoon is way nicer than you thought you could afford on your tiny budget, so you and your new spouse are thrilled with the mediocre accommodations.However, the hotel you booked for your ten-year anniversary is not nearly as nice as it looked in the pictures, so you find yourself disappointed and feeling ripped off.One of your clients emails you late at night and is frustrated that you wait to answer until the next morning because they are accustomed to you responding within the hour.However, a different client is pleasantly surprised by how quickly you respond to the emails that they send during the workday.If we want people to be satisfied, we must set proper expectations.When we can lower expectations, or at least paint an accurate picture of them, we set ourselves up for far higher levels of satisfaction.I know it’s tough when we want to sell a customer, but if they understand there will be a learning curve then they tolerate it better. When a team member knows this season of work will be busy, they can prepare themselves for it.As a leader, I’d challenge you to take time today to establish proper expectations in your personal relationships and work responsibilities. You’ll create high levels of long-term satisfaction when expectations are realistic.
Last week I unpacked to our team a two-fold challenge – we must:
I shared how we must not lose our capacity to dream.
However, that’s only part of the equation.
So, how do we get better? For many of us, getting better seems vague and it’s often tough to measure in the small moments.
Fortunately, I’m surrounded by people on our ADDO team who excel in this area.
Our president, Bart Newman, challenges each of us to pursue excellence and this practice is embodied by our people.
During our Winter retreat, I shared an example that my friend Billy Boughey shared with me from the book Atomic Habits.
The challenge was to focus on getting 1% better.=[https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=5&v=NQxYlu12ji8&feature=emb_logo
I was thinking about how I could get 1% better.
To get 1% better at speaking I need to watch previous talks to learn.
To get 1% better as a leader I need to listen more than I talk.
To get 1% better in my relationship with those I love I need to be intentional and put time on the calendar.
To get 1% better in my physical health I need to eat more vegetables (ouch).
To get 1% better in my faith walk, I need to read the Bible every day.
Here’s my 3-fold challenge for you:
I’ll admit that this is tough for me. I’d rather make big, bold splashes where I see immediate results.
So, keep dreaming big and keep getting better.
The world needs what you have to offer.
I get it, some people don’t need to be in an office. For many people, your work can be done remotely, and I'm not opposed to work from home.
Here’s where I take issue: when we take work that would be accomplished more effectively if done together, and instead we opt for efficiency and do it alone.
It starts like this:
"Well, that conversation sure is more convenient when it’s on Zoom and doesn’t require me to get in the car and drive somewhere. Let's just connect online."
In fact, I don't really want to go into an office. There are fewer distractions at home.
And church? Yeah, we’ve got two young kids so it would be a heck of a lot easier to watch it online. We don't really need to go in person.
Come to think of it, it might be easier if we just do everything online.
Maybe my wife and I can just go on dates over FaceTime.
And maybe I can put my kids to bed with a Teams meeting.
That call I need to make to my mom? Surely an email would suffice.
After all, it would be far more convenient for me.
Look, I’m not against technology. This isn’t a “get off my front lawn” speech from a grumpy old man.
I'm just reminding you:
Working from home is great (and useful at times), but culture is built from the camaraderie and conversations that happen in person.
I can meet new clients over Zoom, but I can promise you that the relationships are far richer when they can be cultivated in person.
And when someone is sick or disabled, watching a church service online is a great option. However, church isn’t just about a service, it’s about the community you build with other people. And guess what? Yep, that happens better in person.
I’m not against remote working.
I’m thankful for technology.
But go ahead and put me in the category of “in-person preferred.”
If we are going to accelerate our impact as a business, we must do two things:
1. Dream Bigger
2. Get Better
There is tremendous power in the combination of these two. Without getting better, dreaming bigger might be intellectually stimulating but stops short of increasing impact.
Next week I’ll tackle the second point, but today let’s look at how we can continue to dream.
In college I met with Dave Muia, a senior leader in the Athletic Department at the University of Georgia. I was sharing with Dave our dreams for the philanthropy I was involved with and how some thought our dreams were too ambitious. In the middle of our conversation, he got up from his chair and walked over to a filing cabinet.
I was unsure what he was doing, but he pulled out a couple of old annual reports from Coca-Cola. (I say old, because they were a decade old at the time, and now more than 25 years old). However, he was using the vision of Coca-Cola to illustrate the need to dream bigger.
In 1996, Coke had set a goal to serve more than 1 billion servings of their product every single day. The goal was Big. The goal was Bold. The goal was Ambitious.
Here’s the remarkable part, in their 1997 annual report (only one year later) they announced they had hit the goal: 1 billion servings a day.
Did they stop, satisfied with this achievement? No. Instead, they continued to dream and inspired their team and shareholders to keep pushing forward.
1 Billion Down. 47 Billion to go. I love it!
Think about where you are right now.
Have you stopped dreaming big?
Has your organization failed to reach for the new idea?
Have you lost that passion you had in the early years of your career?
Has your church stopped trying to impact more people?
If you’ve stopped dreaming big, take this as your challenge to dream.
Dream again.
Dream bigger.
Start today!
Heads up for those of you who read these posts for business insights, you won’t find them this week. But I want to share something I’ve been grappling with these last several days.Over the last week, I have been engrossed in the news.Watching the Russian invasion of Ukraine has been heartbreaking. [highlight]We hear counts of heroic actions and we also see truly tragic events.[/highlight]President Zelensky. Elon Musk and Starlink. Sanctions. What will Putin do next?There is no doubt that what's happening will have far-reaching geopolitical ramifications and consequences that will shape foreign policy for years to come.And although these events and responses will have long-lasting impact, many realities will remain the same. Even after this current conflict ends, there will still be people around the world who need more opportunities for employment. There will still be children who need a loving home. There will continue to be persistent poverty and real people who need hope and help. There is very real evil in the world that threatens us. As a country, the United States must defend ourselves just like others around the world.I think it’s important for us to know what’s going on in the world, but we can often feel helpless that we can’t “do more” to make a difference.What can we do? We can learn. We can advocate for others. We can donate to worthy causes. But something else we can do, that I often overlook, is that we can pray.Here’s a question: Do you truly believe that God is still active in our world and in the affairs of men? If you don’t, then praying probably won’t seem very important. But if you do believe that to be true, shouldn't we be looking to Him for wisdom, grace, and guidance?As an American, I’m struck that the words delivered by Abraham Lincoln more than 150 years ago seem every bit as pertinent today.“We have been preserved, these many years, in peace and prosperity. We have grown in numbers, wealth, and power, as no other nation has ever grown. But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace, and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us; and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us!” – Abraham LincolnToday is a day to pay attention to the news, but today is also a day to pray.[ctt template="2" link="yOJ4r" via="no" ]Today is a day to pay attention to the news, but today is also a day to pray. @KevinPaulScott[/ctt]Pray for peace.Pray for the people of Ukraine.Pray for the people of Russia.Pray for our leaders.No matter the outcome, we still need to pray.So, my question today: Have you prayed?Take the time to be informed and take the time to pray. I know I need to do more of that.