This is a testament to every single individual on our team because they’ve helped create a culture where people are able to exercise their unique talents toward a mission they believe in—to inspire people today to impact tomorrow.
If you were to ask me to name one thing that makes ADDO a great place to work, my answer might surprise you: We don't buy cheap toilet paper.
On our internal communication tool, we make a Costco list each month. What snacks do people want? What cleaning supplies do we need? Are we out of paper towels? Do we need more K-Cups? And every couple of months, we need to buy toilet paper. Survey the ADDO team members who’ve been around for a while and they’ll tell you how frustrated I get when we buy the wrong toilet paper—the cheap stuff. You know the type I’m talking about. It’s the kind of toilet paper in every public restroom that feels like sandpaper but ironically is so thin you can see straight through it. It’s the worst. Enough of my rant.
When we think about creating a great place to work, it isn't all about ping pong tables, bean bags, and beer fridges. No matter what our culture propagates, these aren’t the kinds of things that make a business attractive to young talent. Additionally, it’s really tough as a small business to afford some of the perks that a large corporation can.
What’s really important for our clients, and also for our employees, is to know that we care for them.
And one of the ways to do this is through small, simple acts that show we care. Things like spending the few extra dollars on the better toilet paper.
Symbols of care (like good toilet paper) not only create a better work environment, but they also positively impact different areas of our professional and personal lives.
Bringing coffee and donuts to a meeting before school shows your teachers you appreciate the sacrifices they made to come extra early before a long day of planning lessons and teaching students. A personal warm greeting and an invitation to join your family for a meal can help you welcome new people to your church. A hand-written note could remind a client of how much you value their business.
Taking a donor to lunch to tell them how much their contribution means to your organization could help build a long-lasting relationship.
Calling your spouse on your lunch break to ask about how her big meeting went that morning shows that you remembered, that you were thinking of her, and that you care about what’s important to her. It’s often not the big, bold, expensive gestures that communicate you value people.
It’s the small but significant symbols that send a message that you actually care.
This week, be intentional as you work to communicate care to the people closest to you. And whatever you do, don’t buy cheap toilet paper.
One day, a mouse skittered into a fifth-grade classroom and caused an eruption of squeals as students jumped, stood in their chairs, or sat on their desks. The teacher asked her class to quiet down and remain calm. The mouse was nowhere in sight, and every student looked around for it frantically—except one. Stevie Morris sat unfazed, relaxed in his seat. Although Stevie was blind and couldn’t see the little mouse, he had a heightened sense of hearing and knew exactly where the critter was hiding.
The teacher knew this about Stevie, so in front of whole class, she asked him to use his gift to help them find this furry creature. His classmates watched in amazement as “Little Stevie” walked right over to the mouse’s hiding spot and became their hero.
Stevie Morris told this story in an interview later in life. He recalled how this moment, when his teacher pointed out his gift of hearing in front of the whole class, gave him the courage to fully leverage this gift. That decision to focus on his strength, not his weakness, helped him become one of the most influential musicians of all time.
Never heard of Stevie Morris?
I bet you know his stage name—Stevie Wonder.
This is one of my favorite stories about identifying and exploiting strengths. It’s important when we look at ourselves, and it’s important we think about others. So often in education, in work, and in our family lives, we focus on improving areas of weakness. When a child brings a report card home with a few A’s, a couple B’s, and one D, their parents’ first reaction is to ask why the D is there and focus on the subject that needs improvement.
However, a lot of times when we stop focusing on our weaknesses and instead work to leverage our strengths, we are far more effective. In other words, when you focus on maximizing your strengths instead of improving your weaknesses, you make the greatest contributions to the world.
When you focus on maximizing your strengths instead of improving your weaknesses, you make the greatest contributions to the world.
Let me leave you with two questions to consider this week.
1. What strength do you need to work on maximizing?
Maybe it’s your ability to connect with people, your gift of writing, your creative bent, or your ability to teach. Whatever it may be, develop that strength and use it to positively impact the world around you.
2. How can you consciously call attention to and encourage these strengths in the people in your sphere of influence?
If Stevie Morris’s teacher never called out his gift of hearing, think of what the world might have missed. Let’s strive to be the kind of people that call out the strengths in others and give them the courage to do great things.
Recently one of my friends was having a particularly weird week. My friend, who is a public servant, was making national news for something incredible he had accomplished in his local community. Simultaneously he was being threatened by a small group of people that wanted him removed from his position. He was having one incredibly positive experience and another crushingly negative one at the same time.
In a small group gathering, my friend asked some confidantes if they believed he should go on the offensive against the people criticizing him. In response, another friend shared this famous quote: “Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it, and your enemies won’t believe it.”
“Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it, and your enemies won’t believe it.”
I had never heard that quote before. I immediately knew it to be true and was challenged by it. I have a tendency to be distracted by the small but vocal group that’s never satisfied. And I’m willing to bet that I’m not the only one who feels this way. These groups emerge in many different contexts. It can happen internally with a couple of negative team members in your company. It can happen externally with a few unsatisfied customers. It can happen with one family of unhappy neighbors in your community.
It can happen with a few frustrated parents of students at the school.
It can happen at church with the small cluster that always has a comment.
It can happen among your friends with the parent who's always offering an opinion about everything from organic baby food to potty training.
A tiny group. A small minority. But the noise they make is hard to tune out.
These examples bring one of my favorite Walt Disney quotes to mind: “We’re not trying to entertain the critics. I’ll take my chances with the public.” It’s not that Disney didn’t care about people’s thoughts.
However, he was more concerned with what most people thought, and definitely didn’t want to waste time distracted by the people who were professional pundits. It’s easy to get so discouraged by a couple of loud, unhappy individuals that we gain a false perception of reality and lose sight of the big picture.
The book of Nehemiah gives us a great picture of how we should handle these situations. God told Nehemiah to build a wall around the city of Jerusalem. While he was working, he faced opposition but kept working day after day. I love how he responded to his critics: “And I sent messengers to them, saying, “I am doing a great work and I cannot come down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and come down to you?” (Nehemiah 6:3 ESV).
So here’s my encouragement to you (and to me) today: You have important work to do. Don’t let the loud minority take you off track.
That might not seem like a big deal to you, but it was a huge step for me. I’d written books, but the idea of committing to put out a post every single week seemed daunting.
However, three years and 156 consecutive weeks of posts later, here we are. Looking back, it wouldn’t have been possible without the help of our ADDO team, Marjorie Roberson helping create, compile and edit, and the different individuals and organizations that share these posts.
To those of you who have been here from the beginning, thank you for reading my thoughts, sharing them, and supporting me in this endeavor. To new readers, welcome! I hope these blog posts are valuable resources to you, both personally and professionally.
Today, I want to look back at the last three years and highlight three of my favorite posts.
1. The Junk on the Journey: This is the first post I wrote to launch this blog three years ago. Looking through the lens of a powerful proverb, we are each challenged to reframe our perspective to face and embrace challenges in a new way.
2. Leading When the Majority is Wrong: This post is as timely today as the day it was written. In our shifting culture and climate, we must know how to identify when the majority is wrong. After we come to this conclusion, we need clarity and courage to stand up for what is right, even when it’s not popular.
We need clarity and courage to stand up for what is right, even when it's not popular.
3. The High Cost of Low Engagement: Poor organizational culture and unengaged team members are coming at a huge cost to your company. Seriously. In this post, I spell it out so even the most results-oriented individual can understand how important it is to focus on employee engagement.
Whether you are a business owner, a young employee working your first job, a pastor in ministry, a volunteer for a non-profit, or a parent, I hope that this blog helps you on your journey.
Thank you for reading. I’m excited for what the next three years might bring!
Recently, during breakfast with a group of friends, the discussion turned to our routines, our commitments, and the disciplines we’ve integrated into our daily lives.
One of my friends travels a lot for work, but he prays with his wife every day. So even if he’s in another country and in a completely different time zone, they will pick up the phone and find a way to pray together. This surprised many of us, so we asked him why he was so set on making this happen even when it was challenging to maintain. His response to us was convicting and profound. He said, “It's easier to do something 100% of the time than 95% of the time.”
It's easier to do something 100% of the time than 95% of the time.
As soon as the words came out of his mouth, I knew them to be true. He’s exactly right.
When we try to be mostly committed to something, it’s easy to find an excuse to get out of it. And if we find a way to forgo our commitment once, we’ll find a way to do it again until we’re no longer committed at all. It’s actually easier to be totally committed than mostly committed.
It’s easier to stick to a diet plan than to just “cut back” on unhealthy foods.
It’s easier to read the Bible if you plan to read it every day instead of just a few days a week.
It’s easier to save money if you stick to a budget rather than simply trying to spend less.
It’s easier to spend more time with your family if you put it on your calendar to protect it rather than to just try to leave work earlier.
This principle not only applies to our personal lives—it can also help us gain a right view of business.
It’s easier to keep customers coming back to the restaurant if the food tastes good all the time, not just some of the time.
It’s easier to retain your clients when they feel heard and cared for every time they call the customer service line, not just every once in a while.
Inside of your organization, it’s easier to stay on top of performance reviews if they are scheduled on a consistent cadence and put on the calendar in advance, rather than to try to make one happen at the last minute.
It’s easier to schedule the team retreat or offsite in advance and adhere to it even when the schedule is busy, rather than to adjust and reschedule every time it seems like you have other things to do.
To be clear, I understand we can’t always fulfill our commitments 100% of the time. That’s not what this means. Things happen.
This isn’t about a legalistic adherence to a commitment; it’s about mentally deciding to be all in on the commitments you make.
I believe being fully committed to something yields fruit and growth far beyond a half-hearted commitment. When you look at the things you do on a daily basis, wouldn’t you agree?
This week, consider how you can shift your mindset from mostly committed to totally committed. When you do, the results will follow.
Think about this: Ten years from now, you will view today as the good old days.
I have this problem of being perpetually discontent in the present. I find myself spending part of my time missing the past and the other part wishing for the future.
Do you ever fall into that trap?
On one hand, I look back fondly on memories from the past. It’s fun to reminisce, telling stories from my time in school or recollecting the early part of my career. In many ways, I do miss those good old days.
On the other hand, I look forward to that elusive moment when life is going to be “better.” When my child is out of diapers, life will be a lot easier. In a few more years, we’ll have that student loan paid off and have more financial flexibility. If I can just reach this benchmark, I will have achieved what I want with my career.
The problem with spending too much time focused on the past or yearning for the future is that you overlook the mundane moments that one day you will wish you had back.
Trace Adkins has a song called “You’re Gonna Miss This.” It paints a picture of a young mom at home with a busted water heater. Her dog is barking. One kid is crying. The other is screaming. So she apologizes to the plumber for all of the noise. He explains that he doesn’t mind and responds with this:
"You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this"
This song tries to remind us that one day in the future we’ll look back and miss today.
It’s not all bad to recall fond memories of the past or to look forward to the future, but I don’t want to miss the fact that today will eventually be one of the good old days. I have to remind myself that far too soon I’ll be past the days of sleepless nights, endless diapers, and sippy cups, where my son is growing up before my eyes. I’ll be long past the early days of my marriage where it’s joy-filled work to get to know my wife. I’ll even miss the long days in my career where I’m starting to see small goals realized and striving toward others on the horizon.
I don’t want to miss the fact that today will eventually be one of the good old days.
I need the reminder to wake up and fully enjoy my present circumstances.
Regardless of where you find yourself on your journey, no matter your age or stage of life, don’t rush through today. Take a moment to take stock, to enjoy the moment, and to remember that down the road, today might be one of the good old days.
I recently attended an event where I heard many stark and sobering statistics about the state of friendship in America. We’ve talked about friendship here before, but I know I could use a reminder. Maybe you need one too.
In America, about one in five adults often feel lonely, and only a quarter of us have meaningful relationships with our neighbors (Barna). It gets worse. According to one sociological study, our networks are shrinking, and the average adult has only one close confidante (Business Insider).
These numbers are alarming. Not only is a lack of close friendships linked to a myriad of health issues, but it’s also creating these three big problems for the young American adult:
1) A loneliness epidemic. We are in the midst of an epidemic of loneliness, and I believe the antidote is close friendships (emphasis on the plural!). My wife Laura is my very best friend, but I believe that having a close relationship with your spouse is not enough. We need multiple people in our lives who know us well. We need some friends.
This lack of friendships and the epidemic of loneliness leads us to two additional problems.
2) A lack of encouragement. It’s no surprise that a lack of friends means a lack of meaningful encouragement. We need the people who know us well to cheer us on in the work we’re doing. A true friend will know what we feel called to do, they will affirm that calling, and they’ll genuinely build us up with words that put wind beneath our sails when we want to give up.
3) A lack of accountability. Without friends, we are missing people who will speak truth into our lives. Friendships aren’t only about someone telling us how great we are. The best friendships also involve accountability. Our close friends know when we’re off track, and they feel comfortable telling us that we need to change our course. If we’re not known by other people, we may miss an opportunity to grow, or worse, fall flat on our faces without warning.
As Americans, we don’t have enough friends, and we desperately need them. So what can we do about it?
Unfortunately, there’s no shortcut. There’s no quick solution. We must be intentional, and we have to invest the time.
The conscious cultivation of friendship requires a conscious commitment of time.
Honestly, that’s tough news for me—friendships require something I feel like I don’t have enough of. In the midst of marriage, being a parent, trying to stay plugged into church, and building my career, taking time to invest in friendships feels impossible. That’s why I often place it on the back-burner.
I hate to admit it, but I struggle in this area.
So here’s my challenge for you (and especially for me): Find the time to invest in close friendships anyway. Schedule it. Prioritize it. Do whatever you need to do. The quality relationships you cultivate will ease a sense of loneliness, encourage you, and hold you accountable to be the individual and the leader that you were created to be.
Did someone forward this blog to you? Did you stumble across it somewhere on the internet? Subscribe and receive these to your inbox every Tuesday morning.
I recently attended an event where I heard many stark and sobering statistics about the state of friendship in America. We’ve talked about friendship here before, but I know I could use a reminder. Maybe you need one too.
In America, about one in five adults often feel lonely, and only a quarter of us have meaningful relationships with our neighbors (Barna). It gets worse. According to one sociological study, our networks are shrinking, and the average adult has only one close confidante (Business Insider).
These numbers are alarming. Not only is a lack of close friendships linked to a myriad of health issues, but it’s also creating these three big problems for the young American adult:
1) A loneliness epidemic. We are in the midst of an epidemic of loneliness, and I believe the antidote is close friendships (emphasis on the plural!). My wife Laura is my very best friend, but I believe that having a close relationship with your spouse is not enough. We need multiple people in our lives who know us well. We need some friends. This lack of friendships and the epidemic of loneliness leads us to two additional problems.
2) A lack of encouragement. It’s no surprise that a lack of friends means a lack of meaningful encouragement. We need the people who know us well to cheer us on in the work we’re doing. A true friend will know what we feel called to do, they will affirm that calling, and they’ll genuinely build us up with words that put wind beneath our sails when we want to give up.
3) A lack of accountability. Without friends, we are missing people who will speak truth into our lives. Friendships aren’t only about someone telling us how great we are. The best friendships also involve accountability. Our close friends know when we’re off track, and they feel comfortable telling us that we need to change our course. If we’re not known by other people, we may miss an opportunity to grow, or worse, fall flat on our faces without warning.
As Americans, we don’t have enough friends, and we desperately need them. So what can we do about it?
Unfortunately, there’s no shortcut. There’s no quick solution. We must be intentional, and we have to invest the time.
The conscious cultivation of friendship requires a conscious commitment of time.
Honestly, that’s tough news for me—friendships require something I feel like I don’t have enough of. In the midst of marriage, being a parent, trying to stay plugged into church, and building my career, taking time to invest in friendships feels impossible. That’s why I often place it on the back-burner. I hate to admit it, but I struggle in this area.
So here’s my challenge for you (and especially for me): Find the time to invest in close friendships anyway. Schedule it. Prioritize it. Do whatever you need to do. The quality relationships you cultivate will ease a sense of loneliness, encourage you, and hold you accountable to be the individual and the leader that you were created to be.
A couple of weeks ago, we talked about one of the most effective ways to move individuals through change: crank up the care. In short, we talked about the importance of trust within an organization and how individuals who feel cared for are more willing to embrace or accept the challenges that come with seasons of transition.
As I’ve reflected on this concept of care, I’ve realized that it would be helpful to explain in a tactical way how we create care. In other words, what can we tangibly do to ensure that others feel cared for?
There are two crucial components of care: warmth and competence. True care cannot happen if you have one without the other.
Oftentimes when we hear the word care, our minds immediately go to things that are warm and fuzzy like the examples from the previous blog—writing a note, sending a text, giving words of encouragement. These acts of kindness are crucial components of care. However, this warmth is only half of the equation.
If you’re warm but incompetent, you don’t produce care; you create pity. People may like you, but they don’t trust that you have the ability to truly care for them. In fact, they may even feel sorry for you. Let’s use the chart below to help explain these concepts visually (adapted from ChangingMinds.org).
In order to care for the people you lead, you must do your job well. Competence produces confidence. This enables others to believe that you can do what you’ve said you’re going to do.
On the other hand, competence without warmth leads to suspicion. Being good at your job is not enough. If I know you have the ability to accomplish the goal, but you don’t exude warmth, it’s unlikely I will trust your motives or be compelled to take the journey with you. I might have faith in your abilities, but I don’t believe you have my best interests in mind.
This goes without saying, but if you are cold and incompetent, you’re a non-starter. You will lead no change because your actions will only bring about contempt.
When you combine competence (the ability to do your job well) with warmth (others feeling valued by you), you create a culture of care. Meaningful care is a blend of this warmth and competence.
So why is this conversation about care so important? When employees and customers feel cared for, you capture their hearts, and you create a loyal following.
If Warmth + Competence = Care, what does this look like in your world?
The food is delicious. The restaurant is clean. The order came out quickly. And the cashier’s kind demeanor made the customer feel welcome.
The CEO grows her company, accurately predicts trends in the market, and consistently makes wise decisions. Additionally, she regularly checks in on her team, individually encourages them, and goes the extra mile to meet their needs.
The new product is helpful and effective. It was delivered on time. And the customer is pleasantly surprised when they are contacted a week later to make sure they are satisfied with their purchase.
The manager runs a tight ship and is quick on his feet. On top of doing good work inside the office, he knows how to invest in the individual members of his team. They feel known and valued.
True care is built with both warmth and competence. It might look a little different for everyone, but you’ll recognize it when you see it.
And where care exists, customers and employees champion an organization as if it were their own.
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