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“Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone.” - G.B. Stern, Famous Twentieth-Century Author and Playwright
My company ADDO Worldwide worked alongside Chick-fil-A to create Chick-fil-A Leader Academy—a national high school leadership program that empowers and equips students to make a difference in their local communities. Chick-fil-A Leader Academy works in more than 550 schools in 33 states, and every year, we encourage all of our students to participate in the “Big Thank You”. The goal of the “Big Thank You” is simple—to encourage students to find someone who has impacted their lives and to thank that person in a big way.
For example, if you would normally text someone to thank them, call them instead. If you normally call them, write them a letter. If you would write them a letter, thank them in person. The point is to thank them and acknowledge their contribution to your life. We believe there is power in acknowledging the people who have helped you get where you are today.
I want to share a story with you about Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and how his expression of gratitude changed his former teacher’s life. This excerpt comes from my book 8 Essential Exchanges: What You Have to Give Up to Go Up.
“A few years ago Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas gave a compelling and unusual speech at a graduation. At most commencement ceremonies the speeches focus on the students’ achievements and their futures. But Justice Thomas did the reverse. He told the crowd to remember that the reason they had gotten to this point in their lives was only because others had sacrificed for them. Then he told a story about his eighth-grade teacher. Years after he left the school, he returned to his hometown and went to her room to express his gratitude for her profound impact on his life. He said that since she had taught for more than 40 years, he assumed he was among a long list of students who had come back to thank her. She told him, ‘No, you’re the first.’ When that teacher was 95 years old, Justice Thomas went to visit her at a retirement center in New Jersey. In her small room that day, she pointed out the things that were to be given away upon her passing: a rosary, a prayer book, and some other items. Then she pointed to a picture of her with Justice Thomas that sat on her nightstand. She picked it up, and holding it she said, 'This goes in my coffin with me.'"
The initiative to simply thank an eighth-grade teacher changed her perspective and, ultimately, her life. It confirmed her calling and reminded her of how important her life and work was to her students. In all of her 40 years of teaching, no other student had come back to thank her for her hard work and sacrifice as an educator. Expressing gratitude isn’t always easy. For some reason, it’s particularly challenging for me to tell the people who have impacted my life the most how thankful I am for them.
On my wedding day, I wrote a letter to my wife Laura, expressing my love for her and gratitude for her in my life now and in the future. I also wrote letters to both my mom and dad. It was challenging to put into words everything I wanted to say to them because the sacrifices they’ve made are so significant in my life. The letters were a simple way for me to start to show them how much I appreciate all they’ve done.
JFK once said, “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words but to live by them."
As I reflect on thanking my parents, I hope my greatest form of gratitude is expressed, not only in my words, but also in the way I live my life and use the gifts that they have given me. I think the same could be said of Justice Thomas. His greatest form of gratitude to his eighth-grade teacher was expressed in the way he chose to live his life.
Are you living a life that’s worthy of the investment other people have made in you? Do you have unexpressed gratitude?
When you finish reading this blog, stop, find one person you need to thank, and do it. It could be a parent, a grandparent, a teacher, a pastor, a mentor, a boss, or a friend. Find one person and pick up the phone, pick up a pen and piece of paper, or plan a trip to thank this person for their impact on your life.
After you thank them, consider your own actions and strive to live in such a way that shows you are truly thankful for the people who have made sacrifices for you.
If this blog encouraged you to thank someone who has impacted your life, I’d love to hear your story. Send an email to kevin@kevinpaulscott.com and share the details of how you thanked this person and how they responded to you.
